Chapter 14
She looked up and down from him to the small clock she was holding in her hands and back again. Kairo had visited her every day for however many days had passed, occasionally bringing with him a small gift or random item along with her daily meal. That day, he had brought in a small clock that she could hang on the wall. The ticking was loud and the clock itself was old and rickety, but at least she could know how much time passed.
"Why...why are you doing this?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "First the slate, then the flower, then this."
He shrugged. "Just wanted to make your stay more bearable I guess."
"How long will I be staying here? Will it be a long time for me to even need all of this?"
He shrugged again. "I already told you. I don't know about those types of things."
She sighed. "Alright. But thank you anyway." She stepped away from him to quickly hang the clock on the wall before settling down on her usual spot on the floor with him following suit. She pulled her knees up to her chest and he did the same, leaning against the wall next to her and copying her movements.
"Aye, I'm sorry I can't be of more help," he said, frowning. "I know it must be rough to be stuck in here for all this time. You must get pretty bored and lonely."
"I think there's too much on my mind for me to be bored, but I admit that it is strange to be alone for such a long period of time."
"Were you always with people back at the school?"
She nodded. "Yes, usually. For the most part, I always traveled with my partner, my roommate, unless I was personally called to do something elsewhere."
"Like what?"
She picked at the edge of her shirt. "If I broke a rule..."
He noticed her demeanor visibly become grim, so he reached out and touched her arm gently in an instinctive attempt to provide her some sort of comfort. Immediately, he felt her tense up, so he quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to breach that topic."
She pursed her lips, looking down at the ground. "Please don't make me talk about it."
He nodded, feeling a strange pain in his chest that he couldn't quite explain. "I understand."
Fiddling with her fingers, she quickly changed the topic. "How is she doing? My roommate, I mean."
"Well," Kairo replied, tilting his head. "She's been rather difficult. Haven't been able to really talk with her much at all to be honest."
"Why not?"
"Well, lemme ask you this. Was she a good student back at your school?"
She looked over at him curiously. "An excellent one. But why do you ask?"
"I figured. She sure seems like a textbook Blank, knowing all those anti-Insurgent scripts by heart and refusing to even listen to a word I say. Hell, I don't even know her name. Uh, number. I mean, whatever you wanna call it."
She was silent for a moment. "Should I not be talking to you like her? Maybe she has a right idea..."
His eyes widened. "Oh no no no. You're faring a lot better than her with the way you're behaving, trust me." She frowned, and he could tell that her distrust was slowly creeping back in. He knew he had to do whatever it took to suppress those feelings and push as far away from her mind as possible. "Since she's being difficult, I don't visit her as often, and she doesn't get all the things you get like better food and things to do."
"So, all this is a reward for not being difficult?"
"Kinda, I guess."
An unexpected feeling of dread began to wash over her, and she pulled her knees closer to her chest, curling into a small ball. What if she was doing the wrong thing? Should she be resisting him and the Insurgents with all her being just like she had been taught? Had she said too much already? The lessons that had previously been drilled into her mind began trickling back in slowly. Insurgents attacked and killed innocent people. They caused chaos and violence and were trying to create anarchy by overthrowing the government that was trying to protect its people. How could she be helping them? She felt sick to her stomach and couldn't even look at him.
Kairo mentally cursed at himself, knowing that he had messed up badly. The trust he had been slowly building up over the past week was unraveling, and he knew he had to act quickly so as to not start back on square one. Thoughts were racing through his mind as he tried to piece together the right words to say to her. She seemed to be teetering on the line between caving fully to him and regressing back to her old mindset and one small tap could send her falling in either direction.
"You know, uh, the circumstances might be a tad different for you, but we have in the past taken in Blanks who were willing to join our cause," he spoke slowly, watching her carefully to analyze any reaction.
"Your cause?" she asked, keeping her eyes away from him. A hint of bitterness permeated her tone. "And what cause is that, hm? How noble can it be if it requires violence and slaughter of the innocent?"
He bit his lip. "We're trying to free ourselves from this oppressive regime and give a voice back to the people. No one wants violence, but sometimes, it's the only option if an agreement cannot come about peacefully. You know as well as I do that they'll kill us all just for having dissenting opinions unless we put up some kind of fight."
"But if you succeed in taking the government down, what do you think will replace it? The only two options I see are anarchy or another controlling force in power."
"We may be called Insurgents, but we still have standards and discipline, darling. If all goes according to plan, we'll be able to institute a new and more balanced system to take the place of the old one. I know it'll take time, but it sure as hell will be better than our current situation."
Her eyes narrowed, still not convinced. "And what of those who don't agree with you? How will you deal with them? Will you treat them as they treated you, by alienating and persecuting them?"
He tilted his head, considering her questions carefully. "The way the new system is supposed to work, we'll still allow them to take part in the government because having different opinions is not inherently a bad thing."
"How would you get anything done? Is it not more efficient if everyone agrees?"
"Maybe it would be efficient, but it's not realistic. Everyone can't agree on everything."
She sighed, shaking her head. "Your vision doesn't seem quite realistic either. You speak of it like replacing an entire government will be easy and everything will work out according to your plan. What if something goes wrong? How will you handle it then?"
"We're flexible. We'll adapt to the situation as we always do."
She frowned. "I don't know. It all seems too good to be true to me."
Kairo leaned his head back on the wall, shutting his eyes. "So...you're just as brainwashed as everyone else. And here I thought you were different," he muttered.
She glanced over at him, feeling a slight anger. "From my point of view, you seem just as brainwashed yourself. You said you spent your entire life here, correct? So this life is all you know, and all you'll ever know. You only know what you've been taught, just as I have. Where, I ask, is the difference, then?"
He opened his eyes and turned his head to meet her gaze, his blue eyes seemingly staring deep into her soul. "The difference is, I've seen and learned to understand both sides to the best of my ability, and I have chosen for myself which side I stand with. I am under the control of no one, and I can think for myself. You gotta stand for something or else you'll fall for anything. Maybe you should at least try to do the same. That is, if you're even capable of thinking for yourself."
"So, you've considered the fact that the government you're fighting is just trying to take care of its people and still chose against it? Perhaps their methods may not be what you like, but you're obviously not concerned with using bad means to achieve a supposedly good goal."
"Maybe you get protection at the cost of freedom, but the two cannot fully coexist, and I value my freedom over any protection a government can provide."
She frowned, looking away from him again. "Everyone believes they are doing the right thing and what they follow is noble. But where's the real truth in all this? Is anyone really in the right? How can I choose to stand with anyone if I can't even discern the difference between truths and lies?"
Kairo did not reply and a loud silence hung in the air between them. Her anger at him had subsided, but she fell into a grim, hopeless mood as she thought over their conversation. She knew that she could not try to stay in the middle ground forever; she'd eventually have to define where she stood. But at the same time, she could not commit to anything. No side was completely void of flaws, but did that mean she would be forced to choose between the lesser of two evils?
Sighing, Kairo stood up abruptly and headed for the door. "Think about it," he said curtly, but she did not respond to him. Shaking his head, he slipped out of the room and locked the door behind him. He had barely walked two steps before he was playfully accosted by Calix.
"Dude, that was pretty rough today."
"Tell me about it," Kairo replied, rubbing the back of his neck. He began making his way back to his quarters with his best buddy following close behind. "I dunno what I'm supposed to do now."
"She's beating you at your own game. That's just embarrassing," Calix laughed, nudging his friend with his elbow.
"I know, I know. She's rather clever, I'll give her that, but that just makes my job harder."
"Do you think she'll cave?"
"I hope so," Kairo muttered with a frown. "Because I don't know what I'm supposed to do if she doesn't. I just wish they'd tell us why the hell we're keeping her here or why she's so important."
"Hey, don't worry so much. We'll find out when we find out. It's bound to happen sometime, so there's no use wasting brain power over things outta your control."
Kairo nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right." He sighed. "I'm gonna take a few days off. Mind bringing little miss sass and boring blond Blank their meals for me?"
Calix grinned. "Why, it would be my pleasure."
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