I have kept myself locked up in my room for almost a week now. Not exactly but metaphorically, yes. I do go to my gallery, eat and drink as usual but I'm very much sleep deprived. It doesn't come to me so easily.

The worst problem of all was that I couldn't even smile or laugh with genuineness anymore. I was completely caged inside the room of my brain.

My family noticed this but they knew better than to persist me into talking. They could tell that something was wrong and I revered them for giving me my space. 

I was sprawled on my bed with a sketchbook in front of me, busy sketching an imaginary island. I heard a knock on my door and a few seconds later just like I had expected, heard the shuffling of feet too.

"Hey, Aria?" I heard the familiar voice speak up. 

Tiredly looking up from my book, I saw Kris standing at the doorway with an impassive face. I had not replied to any of her text messages, missed calls and voicemails after leaving from the concert. However, she's so determined to talk to me, even if I'm not in the mood to. Well, that's my best friend for you.

I could tell why she'd decided to come to check up on me after a week. Must be because of all the work dumped on her in her office. Averting my eyes, I saw my mom standing beside her as well, her face masked with worry.

"Kris?" I muttered, surprised. I was surprised, yes but I expected as much from her.

"I'll leave," my mom intervened before  going back downstairs.

"Shoot," Kris said in a steely voice as soon as we were left alone. She plopped down on my desk chair before closing the door behind her.

"You wanna talk to me so you shoot," I retorted and went back to my sketching. I was in no mood to talk to anyone, let alone Kris. She could get really annoying if she doesn't get the answers she wants to hear.

Kris raised an eyebrow at me, not pleased with my reply and pursed her lips. Here comes the tantrum. "Aria," she warned through gritted teeth. 

I sighed dejectedly and sat upright, closing my book shut. "What do you want to hear?" I sighed, resigned.

"Everything. Starting from your sudden disappearance last week at the concert to why are you not attending any of my calls? For a week, to be more specific."

I began twiddling with my fingers, not knowing how to start with my stupid problems. Finally after clearing my throat, I told her. Everything. Just like she demanded. 

I informed her of everything since the beginning. About how I found out that Jenna was Atlas's girlfriend and what really happened to her. 

I had to even reluctantly tell her of the kiss Atlas and I had shared. I had to say this because I needed to make clear to her that I didn't know anything about Jenna at that moment but how degraded I felt when I did. I even revealed that Atlas also happens to be Mars and that I'd heard him singing that very same song weeks ago. Each and every detail that she needed to know.

Her expression ranged from shock to sympathy to sad to betrayal and everything in between. If I weren't feeling so down, I'd have teased her by saying that she's resembling a rainbow.

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before? And about that kiss?!" She exclaimed, narrowing her eyes. 'Seriously? All she could get from my sad, pathetic story was the kiss part?'

My eyes widened for a second and I sweeped a quick glance towards the door, scared if somebody or more likely, my mom might hear it. "Keep it a notch down, will you?"

"Whatever. And okay, I get it. I get it that you needed some space so you left. But what I don't understand is why would you want space in the first place? I mean I know that it sounds shocking and all but there must be something else. You're not telling me something." She narrowed her eyes accusingly.

"Mars had a girlfriend, if you remember because you were the one to give me that piece of information," I uttered in a monotone.

Her face lost all its color almost instantly and she seemed conflicted. With a sharp intake of breath, she reeled back in stupefaction. "Which means Jenna was Mars's girlfriend..." She trailed off.

"Yeah," I nodded my head. "Uh, and I followed him the other day. Before you remind me of my etiquettes," I told her when she glared at me and I continued. "I was just curious, okay? Because I realized I know nothing about him and he never tells me anything. So I followed him to the cemetery. And I heard... some things. That I shouldn't have heard. I know I disrespected his privacy. But I found out that he loves someone else." My voice croaked in the end and before I knew it, tears were flowing down my cheeks. 'Annoying tears!'

"Then why are crying, you stupid girl? Shouldn't you be happy that he's moved on and is loving someone else which also happens to be you!" She exclaimed, exasperated. 

"I am happy that he's moved on, Kris. I'm happy. Really, I am. But he doesn't love me."

"Oh? And how can you be so sure?"

"How can you be so sure?" I retorted back angrily with blurry vision. I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the moisture.

"Because I know that he's ready to do anything and when I say anything, I mean any damn thing, Aria," she tried convincing me.

I just sat there, not believing a single word she said. 

"Because if he didn't, he wouldn't have sold and bought that painting again. Because if he didn't, then he wouldn't have given us those VIP tickets. But he did, just so you could attend his concert. If he didn't, he wouldn't have said that he wanted to go on a date with you and masking it by saying hangout. If he didn't, then he wouldn't have accepted your apology for not listening to him out!" She was already screaming by the end of it. 

If my mom was hearing it, she didn't bother us. She knows when to leave us alone because it could get pretty nasty between the two of us sometimes. But I just hoped that she didn't hear any of it.

I was rendered speechless. I took in everything she said but what if he did all of it just as a friend. 'But… but what about our kiss?'

"And lastly, if he didn't, then he wouldn't have kissed you. Oh, and I forgot, if he didn't, then he wouldn't be singing that song looking all the while at you," she finished softly. "Now I know why Mars was all jumpy after you'd left. He was sort of not there but he quickly covered it up, of course. And now I realize he wasn't just looking in our direction."

I didn't tell her that according to me, he wanted me to back off. I know only a moron would come up with such preposterous theories.

"You know, I was right about you assuming things."

"I am not assuming things," I muttered softly and wiped the tears but they wouldn't stop coming.

"I-I am so sorry, Aria. I didn't mean to hurt you," Kris quickly came to my side and gave me a comforting hug. She broke the hug and sat beside me. She was trying to figure something out as she stared directly into my eyes. "You're insecure, aren't you?"

"What?"

"You think everybody's just like Aiden. You think Atlas is going to break your heart, just like Aiden did. You expected a lot from that ridiculous Aiden that you got yourself out with nothing but a broken heart. You think Atlas is gonna do the same. You think if you expect too much from him as well, you might end up with a broken heart... right? You come up with all these reasons just so you don't end up getting hurt and disappointed in the end."

"How...?" My mouth hung open in surprise.

"I'm your best friend, girl. I know everything, even when you don't say it," she said and took a pause for a few seconds. Eventually, she spoke. "Am I right?"

"I don't know. But I think… somewhere in my conscience, it might be something like that."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. Dickden was a bitch and you deserve better than him. He's trash for breaking your heart. But I think you shouldn't compare Atlas with that worthless piece of shit," she said, scowling and I chuckled at her murderous expression and equally ugly words for Aiden. "Atlas is like a peaceful sky while Dickden is just chaotic pollution."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"It does to me." She shrugged. "But seriously, Aria. Stop thinking so low of yourself just because someone treated you like nothing," she consoled me like a big sister would.

"Yeah," I mumbled, playing with the pages of my sketchbook.

"I know he likes you so cheer up, babyyyy." Kris whistled and hooted but I shared her enthusiasm half-heartedly. 

After listening to Kris's words of how Atlas cares for me more than I could admit, I couldn't help but think about it myself too. Maybe, just maybe, he really loves me back? Not for my body or anything materialistic but for me. 

'What if he really loves and sees me for who I really am? What if he really loves me and doesn't want me to change but always be like my own self? What if he really isn't like Aiden? Will I be able to get out of my insecurities that Kris pointed out for me?'

But most importantly, does he really love me back in the first place?

~♡☆~♡☆~♡☆~♡☆~♡☆~♡☆~♡☆~

Finally, I revealed the reason behind Aria's reluctance. She has her reasons and I think we all are insecure about something or the other. We might not know it but sometimes it just stays in the subconscious part of our mind. Knowingly or unknowingly, Aria did compare Atlas to Aiden.