Song: rises the moon (by Liana Flores)

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I don't know where I am going. I just keep walking and don't stop. I wander aimlessly through the maze of halls in the compound until I come across one door, I open it and find myself on the roof. I step out letting the cold chill settle over me. I have always liked the cold and I take comfort in it. I then saunter over to the edge where I sit dangling my legs over the side, looking out onto the endless landscape and watching the sea of people move below me.

I think of how all those hundreds of people below me just at this moment all have lives of their own, their own problems, their own joys, and their own thoughts. I feel minuscule in comparison to the vastness of the universe, my single person does not really matter in the grand scheme of things as I am surrounded by billions of others just like me, no matter how much some people have tried to tell me otherwise.

Many of the important people in my life would say over and over how much of an impact I would have on the world, and how much good I will bring; but how much good can one person, who has only continued to drag anyone they could get their hands on through hurt and pain, really have any more good to give.

Anyone in my life that I have ever gotten close to has been hurt, usually, because of me, time after time, and they expect me to bring good?

I trace the mark on my chest as these thoughts swarm my head.

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Every moment that Wanda replayed still lingers in my head, not allowing me to let go of them. However, even if I could let go of them I don't know if I would. I deserve to rot with these thoughts still replaying in my head, reminding me of my life legacy and all the hurt that I have caused time after time.

As I am staring off into the distance I hear the roof door open behind me. I don't bother to turn around to see who it is since I can tell from the solid, but eerily silent footsteps and the quiet sound of her gun bouncing around in her holster that it is The Black Widow. I keep my eyes trained in front of me as she sits down on the ledge next to me, putting around three feet of distance between us. Natasha also keeps her eyes trained ahead and stays silent for several minutes until eventually, she breaks it.

"You know, I still don't like you," she says with a slight distaste in her voice, still not taking her eyes off of the skyline.

I softly release a single humorless chuckle through my nose and also do not look away from the skyline.

"It's partly because you are quite egotistical." She pauses and her tone changes very slightly to something softer, an act that was barely noticeable. "You think that everything is about you, that everything revolves around you. You think that everything comes back to you and that everything is caused by your actions. There are outside forces besides yourself, you can not play god and take responsibility for everything. Things happen, and sometimes you get caught up in those things, but that doesn't mean that it is all about you." She sighs and adds the harsh edge back to her tone. "You need to grow up, stop pitying yourself, and realize that the world does not revolve around you, your actions alone are not what causes it and others' lives to keep spinning."

I could hear the truth in her words, both the fact that she wasn't lying when she said that she didn't like me, and also the meaning she hid behind her words. She was the second person to tell me today that it wasn't completely my fault, even if it was in some roundabout way, but still did nonetheless. It was harsh, but that was somehow exactly what I needed right now.

Then after another beat of silence, she stands up and turns away from me but speaks up once again.

"Follow me, I will show you where you can stay for now." She says, still giving me a cold shoulder.

I slowly stand up and start to walk with her as she leads me off of the roof. We walk through the halls in silence, it is a tense silence that causes the skin on the back of my neck to prick. Finally, she harshly stops in front of a door and opens it, gesturing to me to go in.

"This is where you will be staying for now, since Fury is pretty insistent that you are staying." She says as she turns around and roughly closes the door behind her.

I let out a long sigh and fall backward onto the bed with the events of the last week swarming around in my head. The bed was incredibly soft and would be fairly decent if I ever wanted to sleep with my wings out as they would swallow my body and support and cushion them. However, extremely plush, round beds with raised edges were always the best. The last time I slept on a bed properly made for a Valkyrie was on the one in my room on Asgard, even before the fight on the rainbow bridge, I desperately missed the truly blissful sleep that I was able to get on it.

I really did not want to stay here, especially because I felt very unsafe since my presence was certainly not welcomed by pretty much everyone here. But, I assume that they are still not just going to allow me to leave, plus, I still needed the Avengers' help. I had to keep reminding myself that, otherwise I surely would have bolted out of here the very second I had the chance. No matter how much I hated this, I know that I would never be able to take down Thanos on my own and I will sadly need help from the same people who were probably the least likely to be willing to give it at this time.

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I still feel trapped in my memories, feeling like I am still stuck in the chitauri cell, only this one is much better furnished. My brain would not allow me to sleep, refusing to leave me unalert and vulnerable. Fighting the sleep that tried to riddle my mind, I sought out the slight amount of control that I had by having control over my sleep schedule and occupying myself with something else.

I sauntered over to the window sill that overlooked the city that was now lit up by the night light causing it to be almost brighter than it was during the day. That is one thing that I have always liked about New York, there is never a time that there is quiet or stillness. I have grown to hate silence throughout my life, I have already had way too much of it. So I took comfort in the loudness and chaos, it allows me to be able to focus on something besides the silence that is always lingering in the background.

I sit on the window ledge and press myself up against the cool window. When I get comfortable, with a slight flick of my wrist, I summon one of my favorite books. It was a myth about how the first Valkyries came to be. To sum the story up, a young girl has the great gift of being able to comfort people through anything. The gods heard of the girl who was said to be able to make you smile in the most trying times and was said to allow people to joyfully pass into the afterlife as she comfortingly stood by their side. The gods wanted to use the comfort that she gave for all their warriors, but they grew greedy. They trapped her in a space between life and death where she was forced to escort the dead that passed through and make the journey to the afterlife as happy and welcoming as possible. She still resented the gods for trapping her there, so as the dead would come to be escorted by her she would occasionally pick some of the strongest most fierce female warriors and she would make them, what she called, Valkyries. Once she formed a small group of these Valkyrie, made up of only the strongest and fiercest warriors, she used all the strength that she had left and sent them back to the living to fight on her behalf for her release. Her Valkyries eventually made a deal with the gods, the gods would set the girl free as long as the rest of them serve on her behalf. They would be allowed in the land of the living, but they must still escort the dead warriors to the afterlife. The Valkyries agreed and the girl was set free. The girl continued to pick off the fiercest female warriors to become Valkyries as well and her army continued to spread. Even after the girl died many years later, the Valkyries continued on and still to this day do their duty to escort the dead and fight for the living as some of the fiercest warriors throughout the 9 realms.

A/n - I got kinda carried away with that- but I am honestly tempted now to actually write this as a whole separate thing and write it like an old Norse Myth... especially because I can't really find any Norse myth that actually talks about how the Valkyries came to be. Well... I'll add it to the long list of things that I want to write.

My mother always read this story to me nearly every night, so I continued the tradition, reading it myself nearly every night. It was one of the few things that allowed me to feel closer to her and therefore I greatly treasured it.

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A few hours later, I finished, but I still refused to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep somewhere I didn't feel safe, it went against every instinct in my body. It was a programmed part of me by my training and I have had a lot of experience in these alert sleepless nights.

As soon as I was sworn in as a Valkyrie I was stationed with the two princes. I followed them everywhere and was stationed directly at their side, as both their guard and an adviser. However, honestly nothing much changed when I was; it was usually impossible to find me anywhere else besides at their side even before I was forced to be there, so when I was legally sworn to stand by their side, it only gave me an excuse for my already overprotective nature over them.

One of the duties of being stationed to them was obviously being extra alert and making sure that they were safe when we were somewhere new or unsafe. So, whenever we traveled somewhere or basically in any place besides the palace, I would stand guard the entire night while they rested. Therefore, it was quite literally instinct to not sleep a blink tonight, even if Thor was several rooms away, I did not trust this place and would be ready to jump into defense at any moment if needed.

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After a long while of simply staring out at the starless sky, I quickly realize how thirsty I am since I was barely fed or given water for the past week. My throat was dry and screamed at me to get water, so I eventually give in and stand up to make my way to the kitchen.

I open my door as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb or alert any of the avengers. I make my way down the halls to the common area along the path that I memorized earlier all the while with impossibly quiet steps, being yet another thing that was part of my training. I could sneak up directly behind anyone (maybe even in front of them if they were not specifically observant) without them even batting an eye, it was a skill I prided myself on. I was also an insanely useful skill for all the mischief that I and the princes used to get up to.

As I am walking into the kitchen I have a very slight smile on my face as I reflect on one of the times I used that skill many years ago when I and Loki snuck into the kitchen one night right before dinner and enchanted everyone's utensils (beside Frigga's of course) to avoid or push away all their food, causing them all to have to get creative or use random objects in order to eat their food, all while the two of us were trying to hold back our giggles the entire dinner.

For once I actually focused on the good times and didn't let the bad taint them. Even if I could never have that back again, I could at least value the times that I did have.

I grab a glass from the cupboard, fill it up with water, and speedily drink it down. After I finish a second glass as well I spot some tea and decide to make some. Once I finally locate a mug, one that says "Trust Me I'm An Engineer '' in big bubbly letters (A/n - I actually have this mug, I found it at goodwill and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever, especially since I am certainly NOT an engineer, so I obviously bought it), I heat up some water in a kettle and drop two tea bags into the steaming water. Once I take the tea bags out and add a little bit of sweetener, I carefully wander over to a window ledge in the living room.

I once again lean against the cool window and let my mind wander as I look down at the rest of New York. I can see the "No Doze Café," the café that I work at, in the distance and suddenly am reminded that I have not been to work in over a week. I would honestly not be surprised if Laura had called the cops at this point.

I pull out my phone that I had snatched out of Tony's pocket earlier, he must have taken it to try and desperately get more information on me, and text Laura. After sending my text my phone starts rapidly buzzing just a few seconds after.

Pain in my ass <3

> Hey, just making sure that you didn't call the cops on me or anything. I'm not dead btw.

My emo wife <333

> WHATTHEFUCK IS WROGN WITH YOU RAVEN ELIESE ROSE?!?!?! WHERE ARE YOU??????????

> and no i didn't call the cops because you said, and i quote, "If I ever disappear, whatever you do, don't call the cops!" all dramatic and shit and then you continued to go on a rant about how most of the cops you have met are slimy bastards and to never trust a man with a handlebar mustache.

> BUT I AM THIS CLOSE TO DOING IT ANYWAY IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE AND WHY IN THE EVERLOVING NAME OF THOR YOU HAVE IGNORED MY 84 CALLS AND 736 MESSAGES??!?!?!??!

> btw please don't be dead SO THEN I CAN FUCKING KILL YOU MYSELF

I cringe slightly at their use of Thor's name. I know that they don't know about my true past, but it always scares me slightly whenever she does mention his name, which is a lot since she is obsessed with Midgard's version of Norse Mythology, and of course, Thor just has to be her favorite, she even has an altar for him.

Pain in my ass <3

> whoa whoa whoa I'm sorry, I'm ok now

> I may not be able to come into work for a while, but I will try and stop by as soon as i can

> sorry for worrying you

My emo wife <333

> you better, I had to be stuck with David all this week because of you!! and don't expect me to not be demanding answers when you do- but for now, I am way too tired to be plotting your murder so i am going back to sleep now

> please don't die, i would be rather cross with you :<

Pain in my ass <3

> looking forward to it ;)

> get some sleep laura! I love you!!!!

> ...

> :(

My emo wife <333

> *sigh*

> I love you too raven, NOW GOODNIGHT

Pain in my ass <3

> :)

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