I'm on my period and the cramps are nearly making me cry and I'm on this sucky vacation and I'm miserable and I'm so sick to my stomach that I feel like I'm gonna puke and my head is pounding and these hotel pillows are uncomfortable and my deadpool plushie isn't working so I'm gonna do this question thing that oliveoilboy just did to try and make myself feel better

1. do you prefer writing in black or blue pen
black black black but sidenote I love purple pens

2. would you prefer to live in the country or the city
neither bc city is too loud and crowded dirty and country is too spread out and natural and no me gusta bugs so imma say suburbs beat the system

3. if you could learn a new skill what would it be
how to stop being so damn afraid all the time

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar
i dont drink tea/coffee usually but sugar is nice in other things so I guess I would

5. what was your favorite book as a child
as a really little kid it was tiki tiki tembo cause I was proud I could pronounce all the big words

6. baths or showers
showers man but once in a while a bubble bath

7. if you could be any mythical creature what would you be
a happy person
jk ill play along ig a fairy cause I could make peoples wishes come true or like idk something that people like

8. do you prefer paper or electronic books
paper paper paper paper e books can suck my right nipple (that's my least favorite nipple)

9. what is your favorite item of clothing
in general I love jackets but specifically my mcr tshirt with the bullets in a bleeding heart bc my friends got it for me and it reminds me that people actually care and know im alive

10. who is a mentor to you
idk ig my mom or smth

11. would you ever want to be famous if so what for
i want my books to be famous but I don't necessarily wanna be famous myself

12. are you a restless sleeper
im restless until i fall asleep

(wtf i legitimately want to cry because of how hard it is to use this keyboard but i know it's mainly the stress from this shitty vacation all adding up)

(i just wanna go home godfuckingdammit)

13. do you consider yourself romantic
no im as far from romantic as you can get tbfh

14. which element most represents you
idk what's the weakest and most useless element cause there you go that's me
(probably air bc it gets taken for granted and goes unnoticed until it gets worked up and violent)

(jfc why is the lump in my throat getting worse i want my mom)

15. who do you want to be closer to
literally all of my friends i feel so disconnected from them and from people in general

16. do you miss someone atm
yes my mom as childish as it sounds because I really need someone to hug me while i cry and no one here is gonna do it

(i can't stop crying i wanna go home i wanna go home i wanna go home)

17. tell us about an early childhood memory
making up stories in the school parking lot with my bff during recess

i havent had a conversation with her in like three years it sucks how easily people forget you

or maybe it's just me that nobody can remember

18. strangest thing you've ever eaten
i used to dip kit kats in cheese

19. what can you see outside your bedroom window
i can see my neighbors bedroom window out of one and then my backyard from the other

20. what are you most thankful for
the people that actually give a rats ass about me

fuck all of the people that pretend to care

21. do you like spicy food
yeah but not too spicy

22. have you ever met someone famous
i met miles mckenna last october and I know he's not really famous but he's one of my idols and i love him and that was the last time I can remember really feeling happy

23. do you keep a diary/journal
no ive tried but im too lazy and forgetful

24. do you prefer using pen or pencil
pen

25. what is your zodiac sign
cancer

26. do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy
cronch

27. what would you want your legacy to be
does it matter

28. do you like reading what was the last thing you read
yes i love it and it was a shitty book for history that I haven't finished yet

29. how do you show someone you love them
i just try to be there and listen and idk I'm not good at showing people i love them cause there's a grand total of two people outside family that I've ever actually told I love

30. do you like ice in your drinks
sometimes ig

31. what are you afraid of
a shit ton of stuff that can all be covered under the big umbrella of my fear of life in general

32. what is your favorite subject
English

33. do you address older people by their first or last name
honorific and last name

(aight I went to sleep and now its morning and I'm still miserable but not crying anymore so I'll probably be significantly less emo)

34. if money wasn't a factor how would you live your life
id wanna be the most gracious person I could, doing things to help young children in need and adopting like three kids and making sure everyone I know has the best life ever

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean
both are gross but at least you know what evils are in pools in the ocean it's just a mystery and it's dangerous

36. what would you do if you found fifty dollars on the ground
id probably be too scared to do anything with it so id just go on with my life regretting that i didn't pick it up

37. have you ever seen a shooting star and did you make a wish
nah never seen one and if I did I'd probably be too fascinated to make a wish

38. what is one thing you'd like to teach your children
don't make decisions based on fear because those are the evil decisions that you'll regret making later

also just love and treat everyone kindly until they give you a reason not to, then you can make them feel inferior to you and keep yourself from talking to them again

39. if you had to have a tattoo what would it be and where
okay so I actually love the idea of having a ton of tattoos because I think it's beautiful but then again I'm a total wimp and three quarters so I might not ever get any but I know four or fivethat I want as of rn

"stay ugly" on the back of my shoulder

taino and arorak hieroglyphs or characters or whatever they're called on my upper arm that spell out something meaningful idk what yet

a small new jersey outline on my ankle because I love jersey sm its crazy

and "hold on tight, this ride is a wild one" on my forearm in cursive with some little simplistic images

and this amazing woman that helps out with makeup for the school musicals has these tattoos that say "carpe diem" and "carpe noctem" on each arm and idk where id get that but I love that idea so much

40. what can you hear right now
cars and reggae

41. where do you feel safest
in my room when nobody else is home

42. if you could travel back to any era which would it be
60s or 70s that's when the best music was out and im in love with the hippie era

43. most used emoji
😫

44. favorite season
probably fall bc it's a nice transitional season where i can wear my favorite jeans with short sleeve shirts or my favorite long sleeve shirts with shirts and there aren't as many bugs as there are in spring and summer

45. how would you spend your ideal day
idk but I have this really hyped up idea of a wonderful moment I'd love to have where I'm on the couch with my wife or girlfriend (or whatever gender I'll be with) and we're both eating kraft mac and cheese while we cuddle and the tvs on and im working on my latest novel and we're just sorta content being in each other's presence

46. describe yourself in one word
extra
(not like "shes so extra" extra but like an extra in a play or smth like the extra thing you don't need but is there and kinda enhances the story of your existence for a little bit wow that was more than one word lmao)

47. what do you regret the most
all of the chances I didn't take

48. invent your own word and define it
greumish; an adjective describing a person that is giving off bad or negative vibes

49. what is one of your biggest flaws
my entire personality

aight time to face the music of my yelling grandparents who just spilled hot coffee all over me and are blaming the cups and yelling at me to clean it up

godfuckingfuckingfuck I wanna go home so bad