***

Jesse's POV

How can someone look like that when they're asleep? That's not even remotely fair.

Jade snuggled closer to the pillow while I just stood there in front of her bed, not really knowing what to do with myself.

"Take a picture, Jessica," she said without bothering to open her eyes. "It'll last longer."

Since I literally had no idea how to react to that, I did what any normal person would've done...

I took a picture.

The click of the phone camera made her snap an eye open. She then sat up straight when she saw what I was doing.

Jade rolled her eyes sardonically. "You did not just take a picture."

I shrugged and let my body mindlessly make its way to sit by her side.

She pressed her forehead against mine and I couldn't help but close my eyes to savor that peaceful moment and, for a split second, it felt right.

I let out a defeated sigh. "This was a mistake."

Jade eased her hazel eyes open and they pierced their way past her lashes, cutting deep into my soul...

Which, I know you're probably thinking, sounds ridiculous but there are literally no other words that could describe that look any better. I don't think she's aware of what she does, or the effect she has on me.

"And why is that?" Her voice dropped into a purr as her eyes drifted down to my lips.

Unconsciously, I started leaning in closer to her but, surprisingly enough, I was strong to yank my head away from her allure. "Jaaade," I protested.

She arched her eyebrows questioningly.

I reluctantly turned my head back to face her and narrowed my eyes. "I know what you're doing."

Jade looked me dead in the eye. "Then what are you so afraid of?"

My mouth opened and closed quickly while I hesitated to answer but, when I did, my words came out deep and honest as ever.

"Of not being able to get out in time."

And there it was, out in the open.

Jade dropped her tone to match mine. "What if I told you, you didn't have to?"

I didn't really think when I pressed my lips against hers, we just succumbed to the gentleness of our kiss, only for our precious moment to be cut short once again.

"Damn it!"

I cursed under my breath repeatedly on my way to the bathroom, harshly rubbing my face, hoping to rub the stupidity off and away from me, along with everything else.

When I reached the door, I turned around and sent Jade a threatening look. "I'm going to take a shower," I said.

"And don't you dare come in here or I'll make you regret it," I added as I began closing the door behind me.

"I'd like to see you try," I heard her mutter under her breath.

I swung the door back open just to glare at her. "I heard that."

A cold shower was exactly what I needed right now. It would help me with the chaos that had broke loose inside my brain, and with other stuff too... But mostly with my thoughts.

The problem is not that I'm oblivious to the fact that I might get hurt, I thought as the cold water came into contact with my flustered skin.

The problem is, and this is way worse, that at this point I feel like I don't care if I do. And I'm not sure what that says about me. The easy way out would be Millie. She's what every guy in their right mind would want and more.

And yet, here I am.

Does that mean I'm not in my right mind?

I snapped out of it as soon as I heard the faint sound of the bathroom door closing. Forcing my eyes open, I became hyper aware of everything going on around me while my body instinctively tensed up.

I took a sharp breath in a desperate attempt to regain control. "Of course you'd do the exact opposite of what I told you."

I swear, this girl drives me wild.

Jade's hollow voice rung inside my ears and the emptiness of her words echoed around those four walls. "I'm sweaty, I needed a shower." Even though my back was turned to her, I could practically envision her shrugging ever so carelessly.

Nice try trying to get me to turn around.

Instead, I rolled my eyes and finished rinsing off the shampoo out of my hair.

I didn't hear a thing, which means she was standing her ground. I'd be lying if I said I was expecting anything else from her. Thankfully I wasn't going to have to endure this torture for much longer.

"Well, - " I turned around, "I'm already done here, so it's all yours."

If you ever wondered what instant regret looked like, I'd invite you to take a look at my face in that very moment.

I tried to save it while Jade sized me up with traces of a smirk in her features. "That is not what I meant."

Don't look down, don't look down, don't loo-

"I didn't say anything."

I narrowed my eyes at her while unconsciously covering up downstairs, if you know what I mean.

Apparently she noticed this and studied me in amusement, even let out a chuckle. "I don't  think that's much of a mystery anymore."

"Ah, I see you haven't lost your golden sense of humour," I said.

After a brief but painfully awkward second, I cleared my throat and reached for a towel from the hanger on the wall, then wrapped it around my waist slightly quicker than one normally would.

"Can I get through?"

Jade shrugged and said, "No one's stopping you."

That made me let out a chuckle of my own. "You have woken up especially annoying this morning."

I could've sworn I saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards for a millisecond before she pulled her lips together into a pout that basically left me speechless, there's no other way to put it.

I had to be quick to react if I didn't want to do something I would end up regretting, so I ignored her startled expression as I grabbed her waist and slithered around her and out of the shower. I released the breath I had been holding in and glanced back at Jade, just to see she had brushed it off with a smirk and had started showering as she would any other day.

It's official, Jade Cross will be the death of me.

***

This feels surreal.

"What are we doing, Jade?" I questioned while I watched her tilt her head to the side and dry her hair up with a towel.

She shifted her attention to me and stopped what she was doing to prop herself in front of me.

Her face softened as she spoke. "Whatever we want to do."

I sighed but leaned into her touch, regardless. "Do you really want this?"

Jade's eyebrows shot up and I couldn't stop my mouth from producing a coy grin. "That came out wrong," I said.

Dude, I have to stop talking before thinking. I keep setting it up way too easy for her.

She hummed lowly and buried her face in my chest and I couldn't help myself from thinking I could really get used to that feeling.

I wanted to get used to that feeling.

Jade then locked eyes with me. "So what if I do?"

Oh no.

Nononono.

"No, don't," I warned her and tried to create some separation between us. "Stop that."

Her well known, innocent look took over her expression. "What?"

I paced back and forth a few times, trying to get my emotions under control.

I don't think I can hold this back any longer.

"This is what I've been dreading ever since that day at the lake," I blurted out without giving it much thought.

So much for following my own advice.

A frown fell upon her perfect face.

"I'm stuck Jade." I squared myself up to hold her stare. "I'm stuck and I can't go back even if i wanted to."

And I just admitted I don't want to... I need to learn when to shut up.

Frustration was becoming my friend lately. "I don't know what it is that you do but it's effective as fuck."

Jade jerked out a sigh. "Would you believe me if I said that, for once, I'm not doing anything?"

To be honest, I didn't know just what to believe at this point. Why does this feel so off?

I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Oh, god.

Where the hell is that feeling of pure and utter panic when I need it?

***

A/N

First look at Jesse's crazy brain!!! Although, something feels off to me, I don't know about y'all...
Doesn't this feel like it's a little too perfect? A little too ideal? To be honest, I feel for Jesse because I'm literally the same as him, in the sense that I tend to overthink until I want to curl up and die. So yeah, I can relate.

By the way, this is definitely not the last you'll see from him. His POV will gradually increase throughout the story. So if you're fond of him, don't worry! He'll be back sooner than you think!

I'll update the next chapter soon... :)

Cya! 😈