***

My stare was fixed on the wooden table before me as I shut out everything going on in my surroundings. Suddenly, the faint 'zip' of my bag shutting close was interrupted by the sound of snapping fingers, followed by a deep voice.

"Cross, you there?"

I guess I'd been a little too zoned out to even notice the guy's presence. That was kind of becoming a habit lately.

The absent look on my face remained stolid as I turned my head in Troy's direction. "Yeah, I'm here," I said.

Troy was a guy in my econ class. Ever since I stopped hanging out with Jesse he'd been trying to slip in a few words with me here and there, in between classes.

"Okay, good." Troy paused to clean his throat. "Are you okay? You've been a little off these past few days."

Do people have nothing else to do?

My shoulders moved up in disregard. "I'm fine."

He was right, though - something felt slightly off with me.

"Okay then." He perched on the edge of the table and laced his fingers together. "Are you coming to game seven of the playoffs this weekend?"

"I wasn't really planning on it, no." I threw my bag over my shoulder and twirled around to face him. "Why?"

"I was just wondering whether or not you might wanna come watch us play," he said. "The state championship is at stake."

I studied his weak smile and let the corner of my lips curl up into a sly smirk. "Right," I said as I crossed my arms up in front of my chest. "We'll see."

Troy chuckled, a glint of intrigue clouding his features as he watched me leave.

What can I say? I like keeping my options open.

The smug smile on my face quickly volatized the minute I laid eyes on someone I never thought I'd ever come across again. His copper gaze only held onto mine for a fleeting moment before snapping away elsewhere.

A nasty bruise enfolded Sawyer's left eye, partnered up by intense swelling and a few cuts around his nose and lips.

It kind of seemed like he believed taking so much as a small peek at me would cost him another beating because he was actively trying to avoid looking my way.

I know, I should've probably felt a little threatened by him roaming around the same campus as me but there was nothing there.

I felt numb.

So why was it that as soon as my eyes met Jesse's for the first time in days I got an instant lump in my throat?

It took me no time to regain my composure and I had soon built up a wall that shielded any and every bit of emotion from reaching my eyes, right on cue for when he started making his way over to me. That gave me just enough time to flee the scene before he ever got the chance to get there.

At that point I didn't trust myself to be able to handle whatever it was he wanted to say to me when something so simple as a glance made me sick to my stomach. I definitely had had enough to think about those past weeks.

***

"Why does this have to be so damn hard?" Liz stood in the middle of her room over a sea of canvases and papers, her hair disheveled and bags under her eyes. "And when did I even do this much work?

"You're a stress painter," I pointed out.

I was sitting cross-legged on her bed with an amused look on my face. "You get dangerously creative when you're anxious."

"Yeah, maybe a little," she agreed in a quiet voice. "Ugh, whatever happened to normal coping mechanisms like binge eating or doing drugs. Tobacco? I don't know, anything but this."

"You're being dramatic."

She's also usually extra talkative whenever she's worried about something but I didn't really want to get in the way of her therapeutic babbling.

Liz grimaced. "It's just, I finally have something I'm actually good at and I don't want to pick the wrong pieces to go in my evaluation portfolio." She held the back of her neck with both hands in desperation. "I don't want to screw this up."

I lied back on the bed and fixed my stare on the ceiling and kept listening to Liz complain.

"Maybe if I wasn't such a wuss I'd have fewer paintings to decide from, as opposed to a room full of them."

Even though I couldn't see her, all the shuffling made it obvious she'd already started pacing from side to side. As much as I tried to focus on her rambling, my mind kept wandering off to Sawyer's face earlier today. I never realized it had been that bad but, then again, I was too busy trying to stop Jesse from committing manslaughter to notice anything else.

I mean, I get the fact that he may have some second hand trauma from his childhood but beating someone bloody just wasn't like him at all. Looking at him that night after I got him to break out from that state of trance he was in - it felt like I was looking at a total stranger.

An eraser hitting my forehead broke me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at Liz and blinked a couple of times. "What was that for?"

"For zoning out when I'm in the middle of a life-threatening dilemma," she rebuked.

So much for not being dramatic.

I rubbed the spot on my forehead. "Why don't you ask Victoria? She knows more about that stuff than I do."

"I wish it were that easy," Liz answered whilst dragging herself to sit beside me, then let out a sigh as she dropped down. "I'm technically still her biggest competition. It'd be really awkward to ask for her help knowing it might cost her next year's scholarship."

"Besides, you're my best friend," she said and gave me a nudge. "Your opinion matters to me."

I rolled my eyes jokingly at her cheesiness.

"Which is also - " Liz started with a smug look, "- why I know that you are still overthinking about the same thing."

I turned my head to her with a furrowed brow.

"You never talked about what happened the other night," she elaborated.

"I told you I was fine."

Liz clicked her tongue. "You're always fine, Jade."

"That's because it's true," I said.

"Look, I love you and all but you're being a huge pain in the ass right now."

My eyebrows shot up.

"I'm just saying," Liz tried to explain. "It wouldn't kill you to actually adress your issues once in a blue moon," she said. "You're not over Jesse? Well, face it and then you'll be ab-"

My body instantly sprung up. "Woah, woah, woah," I cut her off. "Who said anything about Jesse?"

Liz scoffed. "Oh, c'mon. It doesn't take a genius to notice you've been hung up on him for a while now."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" she questioned. "When was the last time you went on a date, or even just talked to someone?"

"Very recently."

Liz raised her eyebrows at my answer, then shook her head.

"As a matter of fact I- actually have one coming up," I added.

"Oh really?" Liz crossed her arms. "When is that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"That, would be none of your business. But -" I quickly said when she pulled one of her 'I'm right' looks, "- it's this Saturday. At the playoff game."

"I see," she said. "And just, with whom is this date of yours?"

"Troy."

Liz tilted her head questioningly.

"He's in my econ class - he invited me to go watch him," I explained.

"Okay." Her arms went up in defeat as she rose up from the bed. "That doesn't prove anything, though. Just to be clear."

I uttered a sarcastic scoff at her buttheadedness.

Liz had her back to me as she looked up at the ceiling but I've known her long enough to know exactly the face she was making. She was about to be heavily condescending.

"You know, it might actually be a good idea - you could really use a rebound." She looked at me over her shoulder as her voice dropped down into a whisper. "From Jesse."

I pressed my lips together and launched one of her pillows straight at her face while she was cracking up. "Jerk."

Liz threw the pillow back at me when she was done laughing but then the atmosphere shifted the second I opened my mouth to speak again.

"All that meant nothing, you know that, right?"

Her grin vanished. "I know you were playing him, if that's what you're asking."

"What? How?"

"I think deep down I've always known, to be honest," she admitted. "The whole bus thing, the lake party, my birthday party stunt... it all started to slowly add up overtime."

My fists tightened together as I fixed my stare on a spot on the ground. "And all of that would've worked too if Millie hadn't poked her nose in and tried to outplay me in my own game," I mumbled.

Liz's head snapped in my direction. "Wait, Millie was a player?"

"Why else would you think I despise her?" I questioned.

"Because you were jealous."

I scrunched up my nose and my eyebrows knitted together. "I thought you said you knew I was playing Jesse."

"I did, but that doesn't mean you don't care for him," Liz said. "I've seen you play the game before, Jade, this is different."

My jaw clenched. "No it isn't."

Liz crossed her arms up to her chest. "What you were doing with Brody - with all those heartbreaking assholes in New York?" she said. "That was playing."

I narrowed my eyes as I tried to understand where she wanted to go with this.

"Jesse is different, he's real- " Liz pointed at me, "- and I think you ended up noticing that too."

Suddenly the expression on my face hardened and my voice came out utterly monotone.

"Well, you're wrong."

I calmly propped myself up on two feet and made my way towards the door of Liz's room. "I never felt anything for him because that would imply me actually having feelings." I twirled around. "And you and I both know that hasn't been true for a long time now."

Liz stare dropped down for a few seconds before it went back to me. "Okay," she said, failing to make it convincing.

I leaned against the doorframe and tilted my head, the slightest of smirks playing in the corner of my lips. "Just wait until that game rolls around," I assured her. "Perhaps then I'll change your mind."

I smoothly pushed myself back up and gradually let my wicked smile fully show, then bit down on my lower lip as I backed away into the hallway...

***

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A/N

Hey... 😬 how y'all doing?LOL

Alright let me address the questions about where the hell I have been for the past 3 months... 😂

As I said, I needed a break from basically everything because it was overwhelming me - it was becoming too much for me to handle. I was juggling between school work, family issues and other stuff, including writing.

However, fear not, I am finishing this book as I always intended and will keep writing and working on other projects. The only thing I might do differently in the future is post stuff chapter by chapter. I'd rather take longer to upload but make it all cohesive than break up you guys' reading.

Anywaysssss... I'll post the remaining chapters as soon as I gradually finish them, one by one. I doubt there are any more than 3/4 left.

Love y'all!!!!!