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Jade's POV

"Jesse, what the fuck? Stop!" I raised my voice up a few notches. "Are you insane?!"

I pulled on his shirt to get him to step back, failing to succeed. "Jess-" I dodged his elbow as he punched Sawyer again and again.

Jesse was totally gone at this point, blinded, he was not himself.

I tried hitting his back with my fist to get his attention, but that didn't work either. "Ugh!" I looked around desperately and thought, "Where the hell are the annoying people that get in the way of everything when you need them?"

Fuck it.

Soon, I had climbed on his back and had my hands on his face to get him to fall out of his manic state. "You idiot! You're going to kill him!" I yelled.

Me weighing him down caused him to stumble and retreat. I got back on my feet as he turned around. "What the hell, Jade!"

Is he being serious?

"What do you mean, what the hell?" I said mimicking his tone. "Just, who are you?"

He stood very still, without making a sound. The only thing that truly spoke to me were his eyes, which were fixed on mine and filled with rage.

I shook my head in disbelief and couldn't help the scoff that escaped my lips. "I can't believe you, right now."

I stormed off past a bunch of bystanders and went towards the side of the street. I guess my screams must have drawn them outside.

"Hey, hold on. I didn't- Jade!" he called behind me.

I ignored him and kept walking. I saw Liz push her way through the crowd with concern engraved on her face. As she was coming towards me she voiced, "Are you okay? What happened?"

I stopped to look her in the eye. "I just need to be alone right now."

"Jade." Jesse's was coming closer to me.

Hell no, I thought and automatically paced away, once again.

He sped up trying to keep up with me. "Wait! Will you at least talk to me?" he demanded. "Why are you being like this?"

When I felt his hand on my arm, I swung around to face him. "What, Jesse? You thought I would just swoon at the sight of you picking up a fight for me like a caveman?" I shook my head at him. "That's not the way things work."

"It wasn't like that! I was just trying to protect you. He- "

"Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure him agonizing on the ground meant of an imminent threat to me." My words were sarcastic but full of resentment. "Ugh, how many men do I have to say this to? I don't need your protection!"

His face softened. "I know, Jade. And I'm sorry. I don't know what got over me, I guess it felt a little like-"

This is where I draw the line.

I prepared myself mentally for what I was about to do. "I get you and your whole family issues but that gives you no right to do what you just did, you hear me?" I raised my voice higher than I was accustomed to. "No right."

"You know why?" I added.

Here it comes.

"Because you're not my boyfriend and you're certainly not my dad-" I began, "- you're nothing to me."

He froze. "You didn't mean that."

My face went blank. "I meant every word."

Jesse took a step forward. "Jade," he pleaded.

I winced when the memory of Sawyer coming towards me sprung to mind, then backed up.

He breathed in deeply and looked directly in my eyes - he knew well not to bend any further. "You have to stop pushing people away," he struggled to say. "You can't just close your heart out to everyone... Let yourself feel for once."

No words had ever been enough to break me.

And this time it wasn't any different.

My glazed eyes went gelid and completely emotionless as I let a cruel smirk make its way up to the corner of my lips. "I haven't closed my heart to anyone, Jesse..."

Jesse swallowed and pursed his lips together. "C'mon Jad-"

My tone, cold as ice, cut him off instantly. "Because I never had one in the first place."

He was impaled by my sudden frivolous front.

I gallivanted my way over to Jesse and stood behind him. "Do yourself a favour and stop wasting your time." I rested a hand on his shoulder and drifted it up to his ear, tracing his skin with my nails, which made him shiver. "Stop trying to change me, it's never going to happen."

Jesse stood there motionless as I strode up to Liz with no hesitation whatsoever. I raised my eyebrows at her sulky expression. I stared at her for a couple of seconds through my vacuous, hazel eyes. "Why the long face?" I asked her.

Liz tilted her head to one side. "Are you going to act like nothing's wrong?"

"Shit happens, Liz," I said coldly. "I got over it. It's called adapt, improvise, overcome."

She was utterly speechless.

"I'm bored, I'm going home." I glanced back at her confused face. "Are you coming?"

No one was ever going to stop me.

No set amount of love anyone could ever have for me would change me, ever.

Things you read in books or watch in movies are all lies. No one can make a 180 turn just because they meet someone. Those stories in which the main character changes the womanizer, or tames the notorious player have always been just that - lies.

One can't just change for someone else.

You want to know what can change a person?

Life experience.

I didn't just grow into who I am today because of one person. This was the result of a build up of stuff that continuously piled up on top of my heart until it snapped in two, which brought me a huge deal of pain. So I resorted to the only thing that could help me get by- pushing it all down.

But there's always a catch.

Nothing is ever that easy - you can't push down all the negative feelings and expect to just happily go on with your life.

Emotions, feelings - they all go hand in hand. One can't know happiness without sadness, joy without pain, love without hate - and I made a choice to give up on all of those nice things, anything to just make it all stop, once and for all.

I was ready to give up on love if it meant never having to go through what I went through ever again. I promised myself that no one would ever break me. Which I suppose makes sense because you can't break something that was already shattered in the first place.

Yes, Leon did spark something in me.

But it was never love.

What caused that sharp, unfamiliar sting in my rib cage as I left for New York was undeniable guilt. In a way, I saw a little bit of myself in Leon - so when I broke his heart, it almost felt as if I was slicing away a piece of mine along with it. He was only a kid, a broken soul.

Just like me.

***

My body slithered through the crowd mindlessly until someone bumped harshly into me, causing my face to contort into a venomous glare which only intensified when I identified the culprit. "What do you want now?" I stated monotonously.

I was truly done with this idiot at that point.

Millie narrowed her eyes. "I'm sure you're ecstatic right now."

My gaze remained stolid. What the hell is she on about now?

"I broke it off with wonderboy," she grumbled through gritted teeth. "I'm done."

Why the hell would she do that?

My confused frown prompted her to elaborate on the news.

"Jesse is head over heels for you," Millie told me. "You win, I give up." She spat those last words as if they were deadly poisonous, then projected a sneer. "But at what cost, am I right? You're in deep."

I raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Awe, Millie," I practically sang.

I had forgotten how good it felt to embrace my true nature, Jesse had had me fucked up and in my feelings and I didn't like it one bit. Millie's retreating motion and her big brown eyes, filled with a mix of raging intimidation and respect, only encouraged my icy persona to thrive out all the more.

"It's cute that you actually believe that." I dropped my voice into a whisper. "And you're right... You definitely should've known better than to mess with someone like me," I murmured. "They don't call me Black Widow for nothing."

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A/N

... As the end approaches I start not knowing what to say in these author's notes, LMAO. There's nothing I can do or say that can jusify this shit, I know. 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ But still, I want to finish with a bang and I really don't want to spill the beans on anything, so I'm just going to stfu. 🙃

It's for the best, trust me.

I know it sucks because I want Jade to feel but like, I can't help that I love when she embraces her robot side too, HAHA. To me it's just not realistic that someone who's been like this her whols life just changes for someone. Jade is the way she is, people need to stop actively trying to "fix" others.

Romance books and films have the tendency to imply that when "the right person" comes around, people change. Oh, how cute, a shy girl completely turned the bad boy's life around... BITCH NO.
THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN, WE CAN'T JUST BECOME SOMEONE NEW ON COMMAND.

Anyways, I'm going to stop bitching now. LOL, sorry for that 😂

CYAAA!

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