I was half-asleep when I typed this so please point out typos! 

~

E l l i e

Men. They're always competing to be the alpha. Sometimes it's comparing dick sizes, other times it's comparing body counts or how much they can bench at the gym.

A lot of times it has to do with cars.

Harry, with his arms around me, leads me over to his car. I tense, making him pause and look down at me.

"Maybe," Alex says behind us, twirling his keys in his fingers, "I should drive. After all, I know all the places. It'll be easier than Google mapping them."

"No," Harry says firmly.

I wince. Alex doesn't even seem fazed. He's probably used to Harry's broodiness.

I step away from Harry and eye the two in their silent standoff. All I can wonder is how they're friends. They're polar opposites.

While Harry is more moody and brooding, Alex is light and joyful. Harry's more dark and mysterious. Just like all those years ago, he still doesn't like to show emotions to the outside world. But Alex? He's all charm and winks. He's an open book filled with harmless flirting and sunshine.

The only similarity they have is the way they carry themselves. Power. Money. They ooze all that.

"Gorgeous," Alex prompts and it's then that I realize he's referring to me. "Tell him."

"What did you just call her?" Harry seethes.

I'm fucked. Absolutely fucked!

"Harry," I quickly interject. "Maybe we should go with him? I mean, he does know all the places." I try to keep my voice as meek as possible. This really isn't a big deal but he's making it one and I really don't want him to think I'm choosing sides.

"Fine," he grumbles in defeat. My eyes widen in surprise but I quickly grab his hand and flash him a thankful smile.

Alex coughs out something that sounds a lot like 'whipped' but begins leading us to his Audi. Harry and I fall back behind him, keeping some distance.

"You know he's only pissing you off because you react," I say softly.

His grip on my hand loosens. "Why does he flirt with you if he has a girlfriend?"

"The same reason Zayn used to do it. You get protective very fast." He opens his mouth to protest but I cut him off. "Jesus, can you just agree for once?"

"Whatever," he grumbles before letting go of my hand and crossing his arms.

Someone's childish.

I bite back a smile as we reach Alexander's sleek Audi. Harry eyes it with distaste and even more so when I slip into the front seat. Luckily he gets into the back without argument, thank god. I think he's starting to realize he's the invited one here. I want him here, obviously, but not if he's going to be sour the entire day. This is my day.

Jesus, I sound like a bitch.

All that's soon forgotten when Alex begins the drive, explaining our day to me. "So, I'm taking you to three different buildings, each different from the others. There are some pros but also some cons, which I don't think will be a big deal for you."

"If Ellie's moving, I want her in the perfect place," Harry huffs from behind us. I don't turn to look at him but I can guarantee he's pouting like a child.

I turn to Alex and shake my head. "Don't worry, I'm not asking for much."

"But after your last apartment, you should," he responds in a businesslike tone. He has a point. I shouldn't skimp out on basic safety features for a lower price. Then again, I can do without the luxury. My budget might be okay after a lot of shifting but it isn't that flexible. I'm still sending money to my sister up in New York and that isn't negotiable.

"I have to agree," Harry chimes in.

"We'll see," I wave a dismissive hand and focus out the window for the rest of the car ride. I know what I'm looking for and it's the bare minimum. I couldn't care less about having a gym or a pool.

We pull up to a very large, very white building. Immediately my stomach drops. There's no way I'll be able to afford this without a roommate. I can tell it's fancy. Super fancy.

Alex notices my wary expression and turns his body to me. "This is the best of the three. I want you to keep an open mind, okay?"

Translation: it's over your budget for sure, but please pretend it's not.

Ugh.

"Okay," I sigh. There's no doubt I won't be living here. Just from looking at it, I know it's prime California real estate.

We head inside and there's a lobby. A lobby! This is exactly what I mean when I say it's prime. The lower-end buildings usually never have a lobby. You simply either buzz in or just climb a shady set of stairs up. If there's a lobby, that means a chunk of your rent is paying these employees. And that means higher rent.

Alex talks to the receptionist – what is this, a hotel? – while Harry's hand finds mine. His eyes dart around the lobby. It's not as fancy as his so I can understand his dismay.

"A little fancy, no?" he asks, his voice free of judgment. For a second I'm surprised because I expected him to say it wasn't good enough. Then I remember that he understands where I'm coming from. He knows my budgeting.

I shrug in response. "Not half as fancy as yours."

He chuckles, brushing his thumb on the back of my hand.

Mmmm, Ellie likey.

"Why do you even have a nice place here? Didn't you stay in London more than America?" I ask, my curiosity piquing. I wondered this for a while but never got around to asking until now.

"Yeah, but lately I've been here more," he shrugs casually. "My work's focused here. Once Tom flew out from England, I knew he was going run things from here so I bought a place."

Before I can respond, Alex walks back up to us with a shiny key. "Shall we?"

I gulp. "Sure."

Just as I expected, the place is fancy.

And I'm falling in love.

We enter straight into the huge living room. White walls, pale wood floors, posh furniture. There are huge windows as well. The open floor plan allows me to peak into the kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances.

"Wow," I dreamily sigh as my eyes dance around the space. Whoever decorated it has impeccable taste. The walls are lined with fancy artwork but not pretentious. The sofa is gray and looks soft and cozy. I could definitely see myself curling up there after work.

We walk further in and my fingers graze the kitchen counters. Granite, for sure. The kitchen is just as bright as the living room. It actually makes me want to cook. I can picture myself brewing a cup of coffee as I'm wrapped up in a robe, staring out the window.

And don't even get me started on the view! It's trees! Not buildings, not a shabby street, but nature! I love it!

Calm down, El.

I turn to a smiling Alex with a pained expression. "Before we look any further, please tell me the monthly rate." I just know that if I fall in love with the bedrooms, I'm a goner. I need to think with a reasonable head.

His smile waivers and I just know it. This place is not in my price range.

"Let's just go," I sigh. I told myself to not look too deep into this place but there's no doubt I was falling in love with it as soon as I stepped across the threshold.

I walk out of the place first, Harry quickly joining my side. Alex returns the key to the receptionist with his normal smile before following us out to his car.

We don't speak until we're in.

"That was a dick move," Harry comments on my behalf. I have to agree with him. Why would he show me something that I specifically said wouldn't be in my budget?

"Look," Alex glances at me momentarily before focusing on the road, "I showed you that place because I want you to see something that you'd love so you know places like that exist. I don't want you to compromise and go for any apartment that's in your budget."

"This isn't House Hunters," I snap before taking a deep breath to calm myself. I need to relax before I get all snippy. He's still my boss' boyfriend and has the ability to get me fired at the drop of a hat. Besides, he's doing me a favor. "Look, if you're not going to show me places in my budget, then let's just go."

"I told you that was the best of the best. The other two are... adequate," he carefully words. His hesitation makes me nervous but it's soon washed away when I realize that we have very different definitions of livable.

"Okay," I sigh. "As long as it's in my budget," I emphasize. He laughs and promises they are.

And then we're off.

The next building is definitely in better shape than my own. It isn't the most luxurious building in all of LA but it's better than I expected.

It's smaller than the first, that's for sure. Instead of hardwood, the kitchen has tile and the living room has carpet. Still, the floor plan is open and the view is good enough. There's also no lobby, so that's a plus.

As I walk over to check out the view, Alex talks me through the place. "So, this place is fairly new. There are a handful of amenities, like a gym that–"

"The carpet's kind of ugly," Harry comments out randomly. When I turn to face him, he's toeing it with the tip of his shoes.

Alex flashes him an irritated look before continuing. "There's not much in terms of amenities but I assume it's not your priority?" When I nod, he continues. "Right, so this place comes unfurnished which is why it's cheaper."

I listen as I abandon the view of the parking lot and walk to the kitchen. It's much smaller but the appliances don't seem to be too old.

"And it comes with these appliances," Alex says from behind me.

"What about a washer and dryer?" Harry asks.

"They have them off-unit. Downstairs."

Harry dramatically gasps. "You expect her to lug her laundry down the stairs?"

I roll my eyes. "Relax, Harry. It's really no biggie."

"And these appliances," he continues with a frown. He touches every single one, opening and closing them. "They're no good."

Beside me, Alex clenches his jaw. "No good? How?"

"They're cheap! They'll break within a week of use and make her pay for new ones," Harry exclaims incredulously.

"Let's check out the bedrooms," I suggest. I don't know what game Harry's playing at but I can see the regret exuding from Alex about bringing him.

And I'm starting to fall for the apartment. I know it isn't as nice as the first but it's pretty good, especially for my budget. I'd definitely live comfortably here.

"Wait, before we do that," Alex grins as he walks over to a skinny kitchen door, "I want to show you this." He opens it to reveal a pantry the size of a walk-in closet. My eyes light up as I walk inside and do a whole 360.

"A pantry would be nice. I've never even considered it but my cabinets sure are full," I say in awe as I look at the built-in shelves.

Harry comes in too and pulls down at the shelves. "Hm, not very stable. They'd rip out of the wall as soon as you put weight on them."

Frowning, I end up copying his actions. I pull down on the shelves with all my might but it doesn't even bend. "I think they're fine–"

"Bedrooms, Alex?" Harry quickly says, ushering me out of the pantry. I follow him in a daze.

Alex leads us to a door and turns before opening it. "So, the reason this place is slightly cheaper is because it's a one bedroom. I'm assuming this isn't a problem for you?"

I think back to all the overnight guests I've had in my apartment and I realize it's a fat zero. "Shouldn't be an issue," I smile assuringly.

He nods and swings open the door to the bedroom. All I can say is oh.

It isn't as glorious as I expected but I think living at Harry's has spoiled me a little too much. I try to keep an open mind as I walk around the room. Maybe it'll seem bigger once there's furniture in there.

Right away, I walk over to the window. It's... also the parking lot. Luckily it's the third floor so creeps can't directly stare in.

After that, I head over to the closet and sigh. It's the same size as the one at my old place. It's hidden by two white wooden sliding doors.

Whatever. It's not like I have a lot of clothes right now anyway. I can make do with this.

He takes me over to the bathroom and I have to say, it's nothing like you'd expect of a master bathroom. There's one door that connects it to the bedroom and the other connects it to the hallway. It's small and simple. There's a toilet, shower, and sink.

Simple.

The tile is white and everything else is porcelain. It's better than having something completely outdated though.

"Not a lot of storage space in here," Harry notes from behind me. I look around and realize he's right. There's nothing except for a medicine cabinet. "And you'd need another shower head. This one's pretty rusted. Maybe even a water softener."

As he's speaking, I'm mentally adding more and more things to my shopping list.

We eventually walk back out of the room. Alex is waiting in the living room, leaning against the wall. He stands up straighter when he sees us.

I sigh and give him a small smile. "Let's talk prices."

He lights up and nods to the kitchen. We settle at the counter as he slips out a paper.

"This is the price," he says, pointing a clean fingernail to a number. I immediately sag from relief when I see it's actually in my budget.

Harry peers over my shoulder and sighs. "Does that includes utilities? HOA fees? Safety deposit? And you said furniture isn't included, so she'd have to pay more for that too?"

As he spits out the questions, I feel myself getting dizzier. I tightly grip the counter and lean forward. The cost of his place is at the upper end of my budget. Obviously I can't afford new furniture and all my old ones have been destroyed by the apartment. Plus there are so many other fees...

Oh god, I can't afford this place.

"Err... I might have miscalculated a few things," Alex says sheepishly and it takes me a minute to realize he's talking to me. "I'm so sorry, Ellie. I didn't mean to. I just got excited at a decent place within your budget and I didn't think about the extras."

I wave a hand because I know he's genuinely sorry. "It's fine–"

"It's not," Harry interjects.

"It is." I glare at him before turning to Alex. "You didn't know. It's fine. I wasn't even that into the place." A small, white lie but it's okay. No need to make him feel worse.

Because if I'm being honest, this place would've been a dream for my budget. Sure, it's not the most luxurious but it's a major upgrade. I mean, the ceiling doesn't even have any weird brown spots on it! It seems pretty safe overall, even if it isn't the biggest.

Harry frowns but I fake a smile. "Next place?"

Alex nods and we pack up before leaving.

The third place... wow.

Alex angles his body toward me before we get out of the car. "Look, I saved the worst for last because I was feeling pretty confident about the last place."

"No way, Ellie. Absolutely not," Harry says, eyeing the building in distaste.

"Just... check it out," Alex says with a forced smile. I nod and sigh.

I always knew this would happen. I'd end back up at a shitty apartment. The reality of it is depressing.

We walk up the rusty stairs to the second floor. As Alex is unlocking the unit, we hear a couple from the unit next door screaming at each other along with a dog barking like mad. Harry winces and grabs my hand at the sound of a cup being shattered.

Alex opens the door and my eyes dart around. It's not as bad as I was expecting. The design is more closed off so there's less light coming in. There's carpet in the living room and hallway.

"This one has two bedrooms and is still under budget," Alex says proudly as he ushers us in and closes the door behind him.

"The door has three bloody locks!" Harry exclaims, looking at it. He then turns to me with disbelief. "Why would someone need three locks?"

Alex ignores him and sweeps me into the kitchen. It's... cramped. More so than any other place I've seen. The appliances are either old or missing completely. Great, just great!

"That's why," Harry mutters under his breath as he sees the spot where the microwave once was. It was probably stolen which doesn't make me feel better about this place.

I look down at the floor and see laminate. They couldn't even tile the damn thing!

The view is terrible. It's literally another brick building.

"You'd get no sunshine," Harry tsks at the view before going to inspect somewhere else in the house.

Alex sidles up next to me, eyeing the "view" with a grimace. Even he knows this is terrible!

"Ellie, did you notice how he's been crapping on every apartment I've shown you?"

I nod, biting the inside of my cheek.

"What's up with that? He's not seriously swaying you, is he?"

"He has some good points," I point out defensively. "But, with or without him, I'm having issues with money. It's not really all on him."

"Bloody hell! You call this a paint job? There's a chip in the corner," Harry yells out.

Alex and I share an eye roll. "And why is he sabotaging you?" Alex asks.

"You know why," I answer. Because he doesn't want me to leave. "Anyway, let's check out the bedrooms?"

Alex puts a hand on my shoulder as I spin away from the window. When I look up at him, a frown forms on his lips. "You can't seriously be thinking about living here. I was wondering why it was so fucking cheap. It's nothing like how they described it."

I shrug. "If it's in my budget..."

His eyes darken. "No, Ellie. As your friend, I can't let you. It's way too unsafe here."

"El, this place is way too far from your work," Harry points out as he comes back. "You'd have to drive. How much is parking here?"

"I'll get on that," Alex says.

I walk over to the bedroom and grimace at the brownish carpet before walking inside. It's super small. The odds of me fitting a bed and any other piece of furniture are slim. I shake my head at the useless space and go over to the bathroom.

My jaw drops. Have you ever seen those super outdated, tacky, blue bathrooms? The one with matching walls, floors, tiles, and everything else? This is exactly that.

It's ugly.

I close the door shut and head back to Alex, where Harry is pointing out more minuscule complaints such as loose knobs and strange stains. Alex listens patiently but I can tell he's minutes away from strangling Harry.

"Harry, why don't you check out the guest bedroom and see if there's anything wrong with it?" Alex suggests. Harry takes the bait and strides away with purpose. Alex turns to me with a grimace. "Look, I really don't want you to live in a dump like this so I have a suggestion."

"What is it?" I warily ask.

He lets out a deep exhale from his nose before looking at me genuinely. "Look, Gina's place is empty right now. Her lease doesn't end for a while more but it's been paid off. Stay there."

My eyes widen in surprise. "No! I couldn't–"

"You wouldn't be imposing. She's living with me now and it's just sitting there. It's a waste of money. If anything, you'd be doing us a favor." When he sees my hesitant expression, he continues. "It's close to your work so you could walk. The only things you'd have to pay for are the HOA and parking. Come on, El. Please don't refuse."

I bite my lip as I look away. Living in Daff's apartment? I've been there before and damn, it's nice. But it also seems like a huge invasion of privacy. It's her house for fuck's sake! She might not live there but it has all of her personality there.

But, it is sitting there alone. If it's already paid for, it's being wasteful. Alex makes it seem like they want someone to occupy the space. Plus it would make sense.

The only thing stopping me is pride.

Alex senses this. "Seriously, gorgeous. You'd be doing us a huge favor."

"I want to pay some form of rent," I declare. "Like a fee or something."

He nods like he expected this. "If you insist, we can talk prices later."

I sigh, feeling a piece of me die inside. "Okay."

"Really?" He lights up. "Wow. Okay. Yeah! Deal then." He sticks his hand out and I shake it firmly. He laughs as he lets go. "You shake hands just like her."

I grin. "Well, I've only learned from the best."

Harry comes back with another incredulous expression. "I'm pretty sure this place at rats. And termites. And roaches. And bedbugs."

I want to laugh, knowing there are no beds for bugs to nest in, but my annoyance overpowers everything else.

His complaints have gotten on my nerves. I understand he doesn't want me to move but he could've gone at it a different way. We could've had a civilized talk. After all, he came to my appointments because I thought he had a real interest in helping me find a new place.

But now, with all his irrelevant complaints, I realize he's being selfish.

~~~

After Alex drops us at the office, Harry drives us back to his place. Alex said he's going to talk to Daffodil about our deal and draft something up. A part of me is nervous that she's going to think his offer is ridiculous and laugh in my face.

I hope she doesn't. I'd love to stay at her place. It's sooooo nice.

My annoyance with Harry hasn't dwindled. As soon as we step into his penthouse, I let out a frustrated sigh and slam my keys on the counter. "What the fuck was that?" I seethe.

Before I know it, his arms wrap around me from behind. For a second I think it's an apology hug and I'm already on my way to forgiving him. Then he brushes my hair to the side and starts kissing my neck.

It makes me more pissed.

"Harry!"

"What?" he distractedly asks as his hands stroke my sides.

"What the fuck was that for? Why were you purposefully sabotaging me?" I keep my voice strong and steady. I will not fall for this. I will not fall under his seduction tactics.

"Sabotage?" He somehow makes the word sound sexy. "I didn't, babe. That's on the crappy flats."

My blood boils as he continues kissing me down my neck but my breaking point is when he pushes my sleeve down while also cupping my breasts.

Seething, I turn to face him and take a few steps back outside of touching distance. His eyes are still on my bare shoulder so I hastily pull my sleeve back up. "Is everything about sex for you?!"

He winces at my tone, or maybe my words. His face falls as he realizes I'm actually pissed off about this.

Oh, perfect Ellie is totally flexible! She never has complaints! How dare she raise her voice.

"Why. Did. You. Sabotage. Me?" I ask, emphasizing every single word. "And don't lie and say it was the places. You complained to mess with my head!"

His innocent looks falls as he guiltily ducks his head down.

I am not going to baby him. He can be a grown man and use his words.

"Well? I'm waiting for a completely reasonable explanation." I impatiently tap my foot and cross my arms.

When he looks back up, his eyes are filled with fire. "Maybe I did it because you're too stubborn to stay here without reason."

"I figured that out years ago." I wave a casual hand. "What I'm wondering is why. Why do you want me to stay here so badly?"

His jaw ticks as he tries to control his rage. That only makes me more upset. Why the hell is he upset when he's the one that ruined this evening?

"Because," he barks, his enraged voice bouncing off the walls of his penthouse. "Because I feel like I'm not enough reason to stay."

Bam. The truth comes out.

He takes a deep breath and sighs. His next words are softer but still manage to pierce a hole through my heart. "Sometimes I feel like I'm more in this relationship than you are. I feel like I'm always the one chasing and forcing you to do things with me."

I raise a brow. "And what do you call forcing me to stay, then?" I soon relent and let out my own sigh. "Harry, I'm sorry if I make you feel that way. I didn't realize. And it's far from the truth. I love hanging out with you whether it's sitting on the couch and having takeout or staring at each other across a room."

His lips quirk a little. "Then why don't you want to stay? Is it me? Is it this place? Because I swear El, I'll move in a heartbeat."

The vulnerability in his tone makes me soften. I take a tentative step toward him, but not touching. "Last time, we were in a whirlwind of romance. It was amazing, it really was, but it was childish. We're adults now and this is the real stuff." I step closer and cradle his jaw in my palm. "I don't want to screw this up like last time. I don't want to rush things because when we did last time, we crashed and burned."

My eyes go distant as I remember the aftermath of that breakup. So many relationships were damaged. I don't want a repeat of that if everything does go to shit again.

"We need to take it slow," I repeat, "because I want us to work out."

"But we're working out fine now, aren't we?" he asks a little desperately.

I shake my head with a small smile. "It hasn't even been a week since I moved in. We haven't properly fought. What if we get sick of each other or need some time apart? I think this is a good idea for the both of us."

"Distance does make the heart grow fonder," he says in a thoughtful tone. I nod encouragingly. It's good to see he's starting to sway. Suddenly the guilt is back in his eyes. He grabs my wrist and gently kisses my hand. "I'm sorry for being an arse. For today and for what I said. I know how you feel about me, I was just feeling..."

"Insecure?" I finish off for him. Amusement sparks in his eyes as he nods. "Well, I'm going to try my hardest to not make you feel like that."

"You don't," he shakes his head. "Trust me. I just blabber when I'm cross sometimes."

I know he's trying to make me feel better so I just nod and change the subject. "I might take Daff's old place. Alex said it's rotting away because she lives with him."

"Oh?"

"We'll talk later," I yawn and stretch. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too," he sighs. "House hunting is hard."

I shoot him a mock-dirty look. "You mean complaining."

He grins and puts his arms around my body. "Without me, you would've been living in that dump."

"Thank god for that!"

"Hey, don't get all smart arse on me," he playfully smacks my butt, making me squeal.

I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his chest. "I'm proud of us for having an adult conversation. Keep this up and I'll be moving in, in no time." I move my head enough to peer up at him. "Promise we'll talk stuff out? We won't hide stuff from each other from now on?"

"Promise." He kisses the top of my head.

A bud of hope swells into my chest. We can do this, I know we can.

I hope.