H a r r y

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie.

She's all I can think about. I thought that once I had her, I'd be satisfied, but I'm not. I crave her by my side at all times.

God, she's so beautiful. And I'm so fucking addicted.

When we had sex these past few days, I was terrified she was going to hate me. Our last encounter wasn't the best and I definitely didn't want her to hate my guts after. Lucky for me, she's still putting up with my miserable ass. What more could I ask for?

Just the thought of seeing her makes my dick hard. I groan, knowing she's so close yet she can't solve this for me. I really need to get a grip on myself. But I don't think I can ever get enough of her. Not all those years ago and especially not now.

I'm so damn lucky she's mine.

There's a knock on my door and I groan, not making any move to get up. It's most likely Zayn. I don't understand why he feels the need to crash here sometimes. He has more than enough money to rent out a place. He just keeps switching between all of our houses. And if he's knocking, it means he's too drunk to use his key.

Feeling pity for the drunk bastard, I crawl out of bed and swing open the front door. My mind's racing with profanities to scream at him when suddenly my mind goes blank.

Ellie stands in front of me like a dream.

Is this a dream?

If it is, she doesn't look like how she normally appears - in her sexy lingerie, beckoning me over with her fingers and pouty lips.

No, she looks absolutely wrecked. She's wearing a gigantic grey hoodie that swallows her small frame. Her light blue jeans are soaked up to the knee. Her caramel hair is tied in a messy ponytail and strands are falling out all over the place. One look at her face, I can tell she's trying to keep it together.

But when she sees my face, she crumbles. Her bottom lip quivers as tears pool in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go," her voice cracks. My heart literally pangs. I hate seeing her like this.

I stand there like a complete idiot. Is she actually here? And if this is real, what the hell happened?

Finally, my common sense kicks in, and I pull her into my arms. She quietly sobs against my chest and I stroke her hair in a soothing manner. Without exchanging words, I pull her inside. It's then that I notice that she's brought her suitcase with her as well. Using one hand, I tug it in and close the door behind us.

A million questions are racing through my mind but all I can focus on is making her feel better. I want the hurt to stop.

I lead her to the couch and sit her down. Kneeling in front of her, I put a hand on her knee. "I'm going to make you some hot chocolate, okay?"

She meekly nods as a fresh round of tears form in her eyes. I kiss her forehead, even though it's a pathetic attempt at making her feel better. I just need her to calm down before talking.

Even in the kitchen, I hear her occasional sobs. Each sound rips my heart in two. I hate seeing her like this, and especially not knowing the cause behind her sadness. It doesn't help that she walked in here looking like death. A sexy version of death, but death nonetheless.

When I come back, I take a seat beside her and hand her the mug. She wraps her hands around the warm cup and takes slow sips. I rub her back. She leans into me and closes her eyes.

That's it, baby. Calm down.

Once she's done with the drink, I take it from her hands and place it on the coffee table. She wipes her nose against the sleeve of her oversized hoodie and leans back into me. I continue rubbing her back even though I feel utterly useless.

"Sweetheart, you're scaring me," I tell her once the hiccups stop. It's true. I can't for the life of me tell what's wrong with her. I swear if someone hurt her...

She finally looks at me through her doe-eyes. "I'm homeless."

I suck in a breath. "What?"

She somberly nods. "Laine called me at the office and told me to come home straight away. When I did, my apartment was flooded up until my legs."

Oh, so that explains the wetness.

"Apparently a pipe burst or something." She starts getting choked up again and I resume my soothing strokes, shushing her. Once she feels better, she continues. "They said to grab all of our important necessities, and that it'll take weeks to fix all the damage it's caused." She lets out a laugh. "I always thought that brown spot would be the death of me, not a freaking flood."

I'm utterly confused but I don't ask.

"What's going to happen now?" I carefully ask. The last thing I want to do is trigger a new set of tears.

Her voice is thick when she explains, "They're allowing us to break our lease without consequence because this is their fault. Laine is moving in with his boyfriend."

Good riddance.

"I don't know what to do. I can't afford to stay in a hotel for weeks, not to mention that I can't afford to live by myself. And finding a roommate is nearly impossible. No one wants to live in that dump."

"Move in with me," I blurt before thinking. But I don't need to think about it. I want this. I've been wanting this ever since I saw her all those months ago, when she so cruelly ignored me.

She looks at me, wide-eyed. After a moment she begins vigorously shaking her head. "No, I can't! It's way too soon."

Not soon enough in my opinion. If I had it my way, I'd lock her in my bedroom all day. Alas, we all have to make sacrifices.

I don't tell her this though. She's already freaked out with moving too fast. "Ellie, don't be ridiculous. I have a spare bedroom that I'm more than happy to lend you." And kick Zayn out permanently.

Conflict swirls behind those sky blue eyes. I wish she wouldn't overthink it so much. We've been doing so good these past few weeks. Besides, I know we started over with a clean break, but she takes it too seriously. I practically lived with her back in Florida. We work well together.

And the thought of her waking up with me every morning...

I think Harry Jr is getting excited again. Horny bastard.

"You can stay here until you find a new place, at least," I add, hoping to ease her mind. Truth is, I hope she loves it so much that I can convince her to simply stay forever.

She anxiously bites her lip and I hold back a groan. My thumb instinctively brushes against it, making her release it. She smiles sheepishly at me before focusing on her clasped hands. A million thoughts are swirling in her mind. I just wish I knew what she was thinking. What I would do to ease her doubt.

She finally lets out a shaky exhale. "Okay." I brighten. "Under some conditions."

I groan.

She rolls her eyes before listing them. "I'll take the spare. I'll help around the house. I'll pay for groceries. And I'll split the rent with you."

I nearly snort at the last condition. She couldn't afford half the rent, let alone that plus groceries. I don't tell her that though. She looks so determined and the last thing I want to do is crush her spirit. Plus, I can always lie about rate, even though she doesn't owe me a penny. Just having her here is enough. Sure, we'll be in separate rooms, but something tells me it'll be easy to convince her to sleep in my sheets.

"Deal."

She looks surprised by my compliance but quickly shakes my hand. "Cool."

Cool.

Amazing.

I know it's terrible for her but I'd just like to thank God for flooding her apartment.

"And you tell me if I ever overstay my welcome," she adds in a stern tone. "I'll be out of your hair as soon as I find a place."

Yeah, if you find one.

This time I voice my thoughts aloud. "Ellie, you'd never do that. I want you here, okay? Just do me a favor and don't bring any guys back here."

She pouts. "Not even Danny?"

"Especially not him," I groan. It scares me how oblivious she is to his little crush. She grins and wraps her arms around my torso. For such a little thing, her hugs are oddly comforting.

"Thank you for this. I really owe you."

I sigh. If she's going to act like this all the time then I really will tie her up in the bedroom. She looks up at me so goddamn innocently that I can't even be pissed.

"Okay, I think I need to shower. My calves are practically frozen," she laughs but I can hear the strain behind her words.

She's stressed.

I wish she'd let me ease her worries. I wish she'd let me be there for her. I understand that she's independent, but I just want to protect her from all the bad in the world.

I couldn't do it then but I can do it now.

"Right, let me help you," I say, pulling her up.

"It's okay, I got it," she smiles, grabbing her suitcase.

See?!? Why doesn't she let me help her?

She remembers exactly where the room is from the time she talked with Zayn. I silently thank the lords that I changed the sheets before she came. I don't know what he does in there but I notice Perrie's often over when he is, so I have a good guess.

I follow behind her regardless. Her eyes skim around the room in awe. It's a bit smaller than mine. It has a balcony, walk-in closet, en-suite bathroom, and basic furniture. In my opinion, it's a pretty basic room but Ellie looks at it like it's a mansion.

"Silk sheets, nice," she notes as her hands skim the bedding.

"Only the best for you," I tease. She smiles and I internally pat myself on the back for that. She goes and falls on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I stand between her dangling legs. "I'm sorry about your apartment."

No, I'm not.

She smiles as she sits up and fiddles with my hands. "It's okay. I should've seen it coming."

I swoop down and kiss her forehead. "Come on, let's get you showered." And by that I mean let's shower together but I know damn well she's upset and I really can't add to that right now. I'm not that selfish.

Ellie nods and lets me pull her up. I lead her to the en-suite and watch with adoration as her eyes light up. Like the bedroom, I personally think it's nothing special. There's a shower, sink, and toilet. Perhaps I'm just used to it. I still remember the way she used to admire every hotel I took her to back in the day, even when I thought there could be better.

I guess she'll never get used to it. And I love that.

She's the humblest person I've ever met. Even living in California all these months, she hasn't changed a bit. It's obvious she's doing well. She has a great job and gets to meet all these celebrities. Still, she doesn't act starstruck. She starts conversations with them, talks to them. Maybe it's all about the business for her, but everyone admires her. And I can tell she loves all this.

"There's no bathtub in here but I have one in mine if you want." I sheepishly rub the back of the neck.

If possible, her eyes light up more. "Really?"

I nod and shove my hands in my pockets. She grins and begins pulling me toward my bedroom. I laugh as she does. She looks like a child on Christmas. When we enter my room she heads straight for the bathroom and sighs contently.

"It's huge," she gushes, running her hand along the ends of the tub.

"Okay, stop drooling," I tease. At least she looks like she's feeling better momentarily. "There are towels in that closet," I point to the linen closet in the bathroom, "and I have some bubbles here." I lean down and open the cabinet to search for the shit. I hardly ever take baths but I know mum had gifted me some of that shit - God knows why.

A pair of slender arms wrap around me and I suppress a shiver. A shiver! Why the fuck am I shivering from a backward hug?!

"Stay with me," Ellie whispers, but it isn't seductive. She sounds vulnerable.

God she makes this so hard.

"Okay," I agree. She leans forward and kisses my cheek before letting go. I try to shake away my naughty thoughts as I look through the damn drawer. Finally, a bottle of green comes into view. Stress relief, the bottle reads. Perfect, it's exactly what she needs.

She takes it from me and dumps it into the running tub. Bubbles begin clouding in.

"Oops, I may have put too much," she says sheepishly, looking like a child whose hand was caught in the cookie jar.

I can't help it. Laughing, I pull her close and plant a sweet kiss on her lips. I don't allow it to last for long though. Any further and I'll get too excited. Hell, I already am excited but there's no way I can take advantage of her right now. She lost her fucking apartment for fuck's sake!

As she does her stuff, I take a seat on the toilet lid and look anywhere but her. I can hear the sound of her clothes ruffling around, hitting the floor. One peek and I know I'm a goner. Instead, I focus on the shower door. Huh. I never realized how foggy it is. I should clean it soon.

"Harry," Ellie calls.

"Yeah?" I don't look at her.

"Come take a bath with me," she says softly.

I clear my throat. "I don't think-"

"Harry, please?"

Damnit! She's good.

It's okay, I can behave, right? I'm not that horny. We just fucked last night. I think I can hold off.

Please, for the love of God, control your urges.

"Okay," I huff, undressing. She waits patiently for me to finish up.

The scalding temperature is enough to steal my focus. It fucking burns like a bitch. Ellie doesn't seem to think so.

I close my eyes as she gets into the tub and only open them when her back is flush against my chest. Thank God for the bubbles that hide her body from view. My arms wrap around her, her soft skin against mine.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I haven't taken a bath in a long, long time."

"Oh yeah?"

She nods. "Yeah, there aren't exactly bathtubs in the dorms and our crappy student apartments didn't have them either."

I find myself holding herself tighter. She's been through so much these past four years, good and bad, and I wish I was there for all of it. If I wasn't so selfish and stupid, I could've been.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

"But I guess I'm lucky now," she continues. I think I'm the lucky one here.

"Hmm, I don't remember renting out the master to you," I tease, kissing the top of her head.

She giggles. "I'm here now so I must've done something right."

"You're very good at convincing your landlord," I mumble against her hair.

"Landlord. That's kinky," she muses with an adorable smile on her face. Just then, a million dirty ideas pop into my head. Maybe she can pay rent in her body instead of money...

Fuck. Fuck me!

Quick, think of sad things! Dogs dying, war, famine, poverty.

Yes, that's better.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," El says softly, relaxing more into me. "I really appreciate it."

"The least you can do is stop thanking me," I reply.

"But I'm so thankful," she sighs, wrapping her arms around mine. "Seriously."

"And I can see that," I laugh and kiss her head again. "Stop thanking me or I'll kick you out." I wouldn't actually. Never.

"Really? I'm sure Alex has a nice place with loads of spare bedrooms."

I tense. I don't even want to think about Alex being near her. God, the bastard is sickening.

"Ellie," I warn. She better not go to him after all this shit. I don't trust him at all. He sees her as an unattainable fuck and that motivates him more.

She softly laughs, not the response I was hoping for. She looks up at me with a cheeky smile. "You walked yourself into that one."

"I don't like it," I moodily grumble. I sound like a child right now but I don't care. She's mine and she damn well better know it.

Her ocean eyes soften. "Baby, I said it once and I'll say it again. I'm here with you, not him. I came to you, not him. It's you."

She's said the words before but the affirmation sends warmth throughout my body. I love that I'm her person, just she is mine. I might be a jealous bastard but that's only because I'm so terrified of her leaving me. It seems like every time things are going well, we split. Whether it's sudden or slowly, it hurts all the same.

The worst part of it is neither of us is to blame.

I let her words sink in and she lets me. We sit in silence, legs tangled, skin touching, bubbles floating. The bath gives off a calming eucalyptus aroma. The moment is intimate but not in a sexual way.

I kind of like it.

Scratch that. I love it. So goddamn much.

Then she has to go ruin it by shifting. Her ass, which I've been trying so hard not to think about, rubs over my groin.

Fuck.

Think about death. Your grandma. Moldy cheese.

Nope. Still nearly hard. I'm a disgusting bastard.

"Harry?"

"Mhm?" I strain out still trying to calm down my throbbing cock. Jeez, it's not normal for one girl to have so much of an effect on my dick. Maybe I should see a doctor about this.

"You believe me, right? That I only like you?"

"Of course," I quickly respond. "It's those other bastards I don't trust."

"Good," she sighs, tracing up and down my arms.

We lay in the bath for a while longer, in our own thoughts. Well, I'm trying to subtly calm my dick down. I'd like to assume she's thinking of other things than puke and dead babies.

The things I do for my dick.

When the water turns lukewarm, she says she's feeling much better, although her smile doesn't meet her eyes. I help her out, making sure she doesn't accidentally brush up against me. I've just calmed down my boner. She wraps the fuzzy towel around her delicate frame and I quickly do the same.

"Um," I clear my throat, "I'm just going to take a shower." A cold one.

"Shower?" She tilts her head in confusion. "We just took a bath."

I stare at her until she gets the message.

"Oh. OH! Right." She looks away with pink cheeks. "I'll just be in my room then."

Her room. I want her in my room.

I nod. "Feel free to eat something if you want. I think the pantry's recently been restocked."

"Okay," she nods before padding away from the bathroom. Only when the door closes behind her do I exhale.

Time for another cold shower, I guess.

~~~

Once I'm clean and calmed down, I put on some pajamas but don't bother with a shirt. I know El's a sucker for my abs and I'm just trying to give her the best time I can. Normally I wouldn't even bother with pants but I don't want to scare her off just yet. It's practically killing me to not have sex with her, but I'd do anything for her, so this'll have to do.

I can totally get over my horniness for her. Totally.

When I come out into the living room, it's empty. A light illuminates the kitchen. When I walk in, I see her sitting at the island with her laptop in front of her. A frown flits on her face as her eyes scan the same page over and over again.

I go over and hug her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. She jumps for a second but relaxes into my touch.

"Whatcha doing?" I ask as I peer at her laptop.

"Work stuff," she mumbles before lowering the lid of her laptop. She turns to me and wraps her hands around my torso.

"Do you want me to whip you something up?"

"You can cook?" she asks, surprised.

I forgot that I've never cooked for her before. "I can."

"Nice," she laughs, removing herself from me. "Your pantry only has healthy stuff. I think I'm gonna need to go shopping sooner than later."

"Yes, you can buy all your junk food later," I tease. Truth is, I don't really eat healthy either. Tom simply buys what he wants me to eat. "But what about right now? I can make you something quick."

She shakes her head, just as I thought she would. "I'm actually exhausted. I think I'm going to call it a night."

I frown. "Ellie, you need to eat."

"It's fine, I ate before I came here."

"Right, in your flooded apartment?"

I know she doesn't eat well. There's a reason the Nerd always brings her food.

"Harry," she whines.

"Fine," I sigh. She really does look tired and I don't want her to fall asleep at the table. "But I'm going to make you a big breakfast in the morning."

"Sure," she smiles before pulling my head down to kiss her.

Afterward, she grabs her laptop and shuffles to the room across from mine. I'm tempted to just pull her into my room or sneak into hers but I don't.

I can't.

After chugging a whole bottle of water, eating a bag of kale chips - gross - and reading some messages from Tom I finally retire into my own room. My big, lonely room.

I lay flat on my back, staring at the dark ceiling. At this point, I'm begging sleep to come to me but it's not. Just knowing Ellie's within arms' reach and not being able to do anything about it hurts.

But I don't worry for long.

A soft, almost hesitant, knock comes from my door. Before I can even answer, Ellie's head pops in.

"Harry?" she whispers just in case I'm asleep.

"Hmm?" My lips are sporting a huge smile.

She steps further in and closes the door behind her. "Can I sleep in here with you? The room's cold."

Mhm. Sure.

Instead of answering, I scoot over and pat the space in front of me. She smiles and practically skips over. My heart swells knowing she wanted this just as bad as me. The only difference is that she has guts.

When she crawls in, she practically lies on the edge of the bed. I roll my eyes and pull her closer. She doesn't hesitate in getting comfortable against my body.

"Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Ellie." I love you.