E l l i e

"Daff, can I come in?" I ask softly as I knock on the hardwood door to her office. She grumbles something incoherent and I take that as an invitation. I walk in and smile at her.

She doesn't return it. In fact, she looks miserable.

"Daff... what's wrong?" I frown out of genuine concern. That confuses the hell out of me because last time I checked, I wanted her to be miserable until she died. So why am I so worried now?

"I could ask the same of you. You look like shit."

I hold back an eye roll, mostly because I'm so shocked. Never in a day of working for the great Daffodil have I seen her like this. She's usually icy and composed. Now she just looks like death...

"You're scaring me now," I say slowly as I eye her pale face and tied back hair. She never ties her hair! She claims it makes her look like a man. It's probably the one Hollywood trend she'll never try.

"Just get me some coffee or something," she huffs while massaging her temples. I do as she says because she truly looks like she can bite my head off.

I back out of her office, horrified to turn my back on her. She scoffs as I close the door but I'm too busy running to Daniel. As soon as I reach his desk, I grasp his arm like I'm drowning and he's a lifeboat.

"Jesus! You scared me!"

"Sorry," I rush out. "But this is important. Daffodil doesn't look like Daffodil right now."

"What're you saying?"

"Her hair's tied!"

His mouth forms an 'o' shape. "Oh, so it's bad."

"Super bad," I confirm. "She looks like the people she'd usually turn to stone."

"So... the statues?"

I roll my eyes. "Who cares, Danny! I'm more scared for our wellbeing. What if she kills us? There would be no witnesses."

"Wrong. Janet at reception always waves when I leave. If I don't come down, I think she'd figure out that something's wrong."

"Yeah, for you! She never sees me come down! They'll probably find your body and then stop looking for me!"

"Well, then you should stop spending nights here."

Damn it! "You know, dying doesn't sound too bad..."

"Ellie."

I throw up my hands in surrender. "Alright! I have to make a coffee run, although I might end up running by a juice place and grabbing her a cleanse. What kind of shot would she need to make herself feel better?"

"Well, did she look sick?"

"Probably. I don't know! I don't have a reference!" I frustratedly groan before leaning against his desk. He rolls back his chair so he can look at me better. "I can handle Medusa mode but I'm at a total loss right now."

"She'll be fine. Just grab whatever she demanded and see how it goes. She can't get mad at you for doing your job."

Seeing that he has a point, I pat his head and make my way to the Starbucks across the street. The barista greets me and starts making the drink without having me repeat the order. In fact, there's a sticky note behind the register that has it written down so it's perfect.

"Add in an iced coffee. Vanilla please," I add for myself. I haven't slept in twenty-seven hours. I need this.

The barista smiles and makes my order. "Rough day, huh?"

I nod. These people know me so well. "Medusa doesn't get easier. Hey, are there any juice places around here? Usually she makes me go to the one uptown but it's an emergency."

"Yeah! There's one around the building."

"Oh, bless," I grin as I swipe my company card. She hands me the coffees and I quickly run them back to the office. "Daff? Can I come in? I have your coffee."

When she doesn't respond, I open the door. She's sitting at her desk with her head down. She's snoring very lightly - something she'd kill me for if I were to reveal about her. I sigh and put the cup on her desk, making sure the stopper is tight. I don't bother waking her, knowing that it's like poking an angry bear. I've never experienced a sleepy Daffodil but I know I'd prefer that over her consciousness.

"Danny, I'm going to a juice place. If she wakes up and bitches about her coffee, call me so I can bring another one for her." He salutes as I walk past him.

The juice bar isn't far at all. It even looks trendy enough for it to be an expensive place. It isn't as bad as the place Medusa forces me to get her kale smoothies from. It's cheaper too.

They have a fridge full of their juice shots. My eyes skim the labels as I dwell on what she really needs.

"Need any help?"

My eyes snap up to the source of the voice. It's a young man, maybe even younger than me. He's wearing a beanie and a flannel. He also has those hipster type glasses but the lens are popped out.

Isn't that look reserved for baristas?

When he chuckles, I realize I said that out loud. My eyes widen and I smack my palm over my fat mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, you didn't say anything wrong. I'm the only one who dresses like this. The others look like hobos," he laughs, putting me at ease. "Can I help you? You look awfully confused."

"Was it that obvious?" When he nods, I sigh. "It's my boss. I've never seen her look so... unhealthy in my life. I'm not sure whether she's sick or exhausted or heartbroken."

He thoughtfully nods and rounds the corner to join me by my side. He reaches out and pulls out a green drink in a small bottle.

"This is our energy mix. It's basically an 'all of the above' choice. Your boss should feel better if she takes this."

I grab it like it's a diamond. "Jesus! You got anything for lack of sleep?"

"Yes, it's called sleep," he deadpans before going back to the register. I roll my eyes and follow, putting the bottle down so I can fish out my card.

"It's on me," a silky smooth British voice says from behind me. Before I can process it, a sleek black card is handed to the cashier, who looks unphased.

I eye the green drink carefully. "Please tell me it tastes awful."

"If your boss likes kale, she'll like this."

I groan as I snatch the bottle up. Of course Daff gets off easy even when she's helpless. Then, turning on my heel, I look at Harry and hold the bottle up. "Thanks for this."

I'm already outside when he finally stops me. "Ellie! Wait!"

"What, Harry? I'm kinda in a rush," I snap, a little annoyed. Daffodil is up there suffering. I don't have time to waste dilly-dallying.

Oh my god, since when do I care about my boss so much?

"Jesus! You're a fast walker," Harry huffs. When I gesture for him to get on with it, he stands up stranger and looks at me intensely. "Let me take you out."

"Why?" I hesitantly ask. If he wanted to ask me out, he could've done it years ago. Maybe even months ago when he found out I moved here. He obviously knew.

He frowns, not expecting this at all. "What do you mean? Now I need to have a reason to take you out?"

"Harry, I'm a super busy person. My work schedules hectic right now." Work! Daffodil! Holy shit, I'm sitting here talking while she's probably dead.

I'm not saying I care. 

She does signs my paychecks though.

With that thought, I nearly run back to the office. As soon as I'm far away, I realize just how rude that sounded. I don't mean to intentionally brush him off, I just can't think of anything else right now.

I turn around to see Harry with his head down, hands in his pocket.

"Harry!" I call out before I can regret this. "We'll catch up next time we see each other, yeah?" It's a vague statement but I like to think it leaves us on better terms.

"Okay, yeah," he replies, a lightness in his tone.

When I stumble back into the office, Danny's still on his computer. He looks up when he sees me. "Hey. Nothing's changed."

"Good," I reply, wondering if that's how I truly feel. When I get back into her office, she's still asleep. However, when she hears the door click shut, her head shoots up in a groggy surprise. "Hey," I greet softly not to scare her.

She palms her jaw before looking around the office. "What's going on?"

"You told me to grab you some coffee and then you fell asleep before I came back," I say, pointing toward the cold cup on the table. "But I think this would be better for you." I place the green bottle on the table.

For a second, she actually looks grateful. I'm surprised too, considering I never see that expression on her. She shakily unscrews the lid and downs the small bottle. Her lips smack after she swallows.

"Thanks, Ellie."

And that's when I know she's terminal.

I walk out of the office in a daze and sit down at my desk. Daniel glances over at me, concerned. "What's going on?"

"She... she thanked me." I blink. "I think I'm going to faint."

Daniel, seeing how pale I probably am, rushes over to my side. "Ellie! Do you need anything?"

"No, no," I wave a hand. "I'm just in disbelief. What the hell?"

He relaxes and leans against my desk. "Hm, I would be too. But, maybe you should go home. You've done enough today."

"I can't! She'd kill me if I skipped out."

He smiles lightly. "I'll cover for you."

"Oh Danny, I can't ask you to..."

"Relax! You're not asking. Besides, you should sleep. A full night's rest will improve your work performance."

The concern in his voice is enough to make me compliantly nod. He grins and stands up, going back to his desk but keeping his eyes on me as I pack. He seems so worried, I feel bad. Not to mention that I can just do my work from home too. If Danny gets in trouble, I'll have three new contracts drafted for Medusa by the end of the week. She can't be mad at that.

"Bye, Danny," I sing as I leave the office.

When I manage to get home, Laine looks at me like he's seen a ghost. And then he relaxes back into the couch.

"What?"

"I thought you were home early for a second but then I realized that you're you, and you're probably just grabbing something."

I'm not sure if it's the sleep deprivation or the fact that I saw Harry after all these years for the second time in weeks but I burst out hysterically laughing, then collapse on the couch.

"Uh... Ellie? You good?"

I laugh so hard that tears stream down my face. "Yeah! Yeah. I'm just thinking about life."

His brows raise. "Oh? You actually think?"

I ignore his smart remark. "I'm just... Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing cutting everyone out of my life. It gets lonely." I wonder where this suddenly came from. Laine and I hardly talk about shit like this. Yet, it feels oddly comforting to let it out.

He scoots closer and puts an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. "You still have me."

My laughter dies down but silent tears still stream down my face. "Yeah, I do. But you're not my blond best friend I've known from childhood or my barista that made mediocre coffee."

He squeezes my shoulder. "But you still have Sonia and Macy, right?"

"Not really. We don't talk as often as we used to. They're acquaintances at most."

"Well, why don't you try reaching out to them? I'm sure they miss you just as much as you do."

I tiredly rub a palm over my face. "You don't understand, Laine. I really, really fucked up. I was in a bad place back then."

"But you're better now!"

"It still doesn't excuse what I did. I went too far," I sigh, standing up and stretching. "I think I'm just exhausted. The feelings are coming back up."

"It sounds like you need a joint."

Ugh. There it is. I love Laine but he's still stuck in his frat-boy persona. He's still a partier, even though we're past the college days.

It's nights like this that make me miss Drew and his amazing advice.

"Or, we can make out," he wiggles his brows suggestively.

But he also makes me laugh when I need it, so I'm grateful for that.

"Oh, Laine. How I wish we could," I sigh dramatically. "Okay, I'm going to head to bed before I drop dead."

"Night, you prude."

"Night."

~~~

"Has anyone ever told you that you could be a model?"

My brows raise in amusement. "Not particularly, no."

"Well, you fit in with all these other models!" The lady in front of me makes a sweeping gesture toward the other girls lingering around. "I can't even tell you apart."

I fake laugh at the bullshit spewing from her mouth. "You're so sweet."

She hands me a card between her index and middle finger. "Call me if you're ever interested."

Of course. She's running a business scheme just as I am.

"Thanks," I smile as I take it. I put it in my purse knowing it'll be at the bottom of my recycling can tonight.

She leaves me alone and I take a moment to let my eyes wander. We're at a small studio for a photoshoot. A modeling agency got a hold of Daffodil after Eleanor's party (courtesy of me) and asked if she was willing to do some of the makeup for this shoot. Daff being Daff agreed right away.

So, here we are. I'm in a tight room with around twenty models who look absolutely stunning. It's for some type of denim campaign. Everyone is wearing some form of jeans, whether it be pants, shirts, even bikinis! The latter is more for the aesthetic than actual purpose. It does get the job done though.

And it doesn't hurt that the head of the agency is a total flirt. I mean, she called me a model! It's a business tactic, obviously, but I'm still flattered.

As the girls send passive-aggressive comments toward each other, I watch in amusement. Daniel isn't here with me because apparently he only has to babysit when we go to social events. I miss his company but watching the girls catfight is still entertaining.

"Ellie! Come here," Daff calls. She's currently applying a shimmery eyeshadow on a particular model. When I'm close enough, she doesn't stop her brushing as she speaks. "I need you to pick up a kale smoothie for me."

I internally sulk. She's making me go all the way there? "Yes ma'am. Anything else?"

"No. Make sure you add a shot of spinach in there," she reminds me like I don't already know.

"Do you want me to pick you up some food as well?"

She stops her strokes and I freeze. She doesn't stop unless she's irritated, which she clearly is now. I gulp and wait for her wrath.

"Did I say I wanted food?"

"No."

"Then use your brain and get me a smoothie," she says coolly. I nod, knowing she'd yell at me so much worse if we weren't surrounded by people. "Can I trust you for that simple task?"

"Yes," I reply, holding back the sarcasm.

"Good, then go." She resumes the application and I let out a breath of relief. At least she won't have my head on a platter tonight.

I walk to the juice bar in silence, observing those around me. California culture is a big shock to me, even though I've been living here for months. The people here are so interesting. Even the creeps aren't that bad, they're just people with broken dreams.

Still, there's so much optimism in the air. All around, people are fulfilling their dreams. Simply getting high on life. Drugs too.

Everyone's different. I've met hippies, snotty strangers, down to earth celebrities. Even the brainless models aren't so brainless. It took me a long time to learn that just because they have different priorities doesn't make them dumber than someone else. It's all a matter of perspective.

California has shown me a new perspective. How weird.

I finally reach Medusa's favorite juice bar and sigh. The summer air is annoying and I can't wait for fall. It's so close yet so far.

"Welcome to Juicy- oh! Ellie! How are you this evening?" the sweet juice maker asks. Practically all the local healthy places know me because of Daffodil's extravagant orders. It's a little flattering but downright depressing.

I flash her a smile. "The usual."

"Oh, what's today's agenda?" she asks as she starts on the juice order. She has it memorized with the amount of times I've come in.

"Modelling agency."

Her brows raise but she doesn't look at me. "Oh wow! That's impressive."

"It is! The only issue is that it's all the way on Delany but I walked here."

She spares me quick glance before continuing the juice. "Delany, huh? That's far. Why didn't you just drive?"

"With this traffic?" I scoff. "Are you kidding me? I can walk here and back before my car parks in your lot."

"I feel you," she sighs. "I love the city but hate the traffic." She mixes the juice before placing it directly in front of me. "Can I get you anything else?"

I gag. "The day I reduce myself to drinking these juices is the day I'll strip on Hollywood Boulevard."

She laughs a melodic sound as I swipe my card. "Hey, it might get you a spot on the Walk of Fame."

"Trust me, if I ever get sick of Medusa, becoming a stripper is my backup plan."

Her laughs echo as I wave her a final goodbye and leave the store with my ice-cold juice. I make sure to walk in quick strides back to the studio so it doesn't turn lukewarm. We all know how she just hates lukewarm things.

As soon as I enter the studio, I hear my name being called. "Oh my God, El!"

The voice definitely doesn't belong to Daffodil. My eyes scan around. Nobody's even looking at me. Shrugging, I make my way to Daff and hand her the smoothie. She snatches it from my hand and sips it to make sure it's up to par. When she deems it good, she nods and hands me the cup.

Oh yay! I'm her personal cup holder tonight.

Sadly, I'm used to it. I shift my weight from one foot to another while I wait on her.

"Stop moving so much, you're distracting me," she mutters with the end of a makeup brush between her teeth. I huff and do as she says. When she tilts her chin in the general direction of my hand, I lift the straw to her mouth and let her sip.

Yes, I'm that type of assistant.

My Apple Watch vibrates and I lift up my wrist to check the message. It just tells me to breathe.* Rolling my eyes, I lower my wrist.

I'm 'feeding' Medusa when a light hand clamps down on my shoulder. I turn to see Eleanor, smiling a warm smile. My insides twist a little. I didn't expect her to be here. Even if she was, I didn't expect her to talk to me. The last time we talked was at her birthday party, which was weeks ago. Even then, it was a simple birthday wish. Most of the night I was focused on clients, and when I'm focused, I tend to ignore everything around me.

Looking back, it explains the whole name situation that happened minutes ago.

"Ellie! What a pleasure to see you!"

"Eleanor," I fake a pleasant tone. "Are you modeling here too?"

She waves her hand. "No. My friends are and I just decided to stop in. I can't stay away for too long."

I find myself genuinely smiling. "I bet! How'd your show go?" I ask, referring to the V.S. one. We didn't get to stay for the runway part.

She beams, letting me know it went well. "Perfect! We had no technical difficulties and I got a lot of compliments."

"Well, you looked beautiful."

"Thank you," she giggles. "Oh my God, the way Louis was staring at me made me so nervous. I never get nervous on the runway but I was so sweaty!" I uncomfortably shift at how casually she mentions Louis, like we're on good terms. "Oh, speaking of, we're having a little get together at this new lounge. It's just a few friends! You should totally come!"

Now I'm feeling a hundred percent awkward. Also slightly confused as to why she's speaking so kindly to me. Just last month I practically told her I didn't want to be her friend. Now she's acting like it's five years ago and we're on a trip to Las Vegas.

If she notices my discomfort, she disregards it. "We're meeting at Phoenix this Saturday around eight. Do you think you can make it? You can bring some friends if you want."

I rub my forearm as I rack my brain for a polite excuse. My brain cells decide to disappear and I'm left empty-handed. So, I answer with a vague statement, something I've seemed to mastered with my time here. "I'll have to check my schedule."

She smiles but it doesn't quite meet her eyes. "Okay. I'd love for you to come."

"I'll try," I weakly smile.

Truth is, I'd love to hang with her too, but not in a social setting. I don't have many friends here and I'm a little desperate. Besides, I've always adored Eleanor. But the nagging part inside of me reminds me that I'm here to focus on my career. Social scenes aren't important right now.

"I'll try," I repeat. She nods and squeezes my hand reassuringly before going back to her friends. When I turn, I see Daff paused from her makeup skills, looking at me with an arched eyebrow. "What?"

"Smoothie," she orders. I lift the straw to her pink lips and wait for her to finish. When I pull away, she resumes her work. "You better hang out with her. She seems to like you and you're my key for a loyal customer."

Well, now it looks like I don't have a choice.

~

*Apple Watches can sense when you're pulse rate raises and suggests breathing exercises. It always pops up when I'm mad and it just makes me madder, LOL. Like I feel like throwing it out the window.