I stand nervously outside my dorm, my phone in my hand. I'm pacing against the cold air but Laine's jacket helps. For springtime, the nights sure are chilly. 

Arms wrap around me from behind and I lean back in the embrace. A breath of relief escapes me. For a second I truly thought he'd ditch me because he changed his mind about our relationship.

 "Hi, Laine."

He shifts so he's standing in front of me now, his arms still around me. "Is that how you treat every guy who hugs you from behind? What if it wasn't me?"

"Then I'd be screwed." I pat his cheek before giving him a quick peck on the lips. Then I sigh, nerves budling up once again. "Laine, you don't have to take me tonight if you don't want to. I understand."

Deep down, I feel unsettled about the fact that he hasn't freaked out more. If anything, I feel like he needs an out

He senses my uncertainty and sighs before resting his forehead against mine. "Babe, for the millionth time, it's fine. I've had time to freak out, punch something, and-"

"Punch something?" I ask, amusement shining through. He sheepishly grins and pulls far enough to showcase his knuckles. They're bruised but also healing. I gently rub my fingers over him, careful not to hurt him. "Whoever treated this did a horrible job."

He weakly smiles. "Hey! I take offense to that."

I raise his knuckles to my lips and place a gentle kiss. "Next time you want to take out your aggression, call me after. I happen to be an expert."

"I'm not usually a violent person. If I was, I wouldn't be president of my charter," he boasts before turning serious once again. "So far, you've been the only one who brought out the side of me."

"I'm sorry." The words seem so insignificant. I wish there was more I could do to ease my guilt, especially considering he's over it.

He groans and takes my hand, pulling me along. "I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm just saying, I haven't had feelings for anyone in a long time, let alone to the point where I feel like punching a wall. Take it as a compliment."

"Okay, okay!" I softly laugh. Leave it to Laine to shift the mood fifty times during one conversation. It's one of the reasons I like him. "Wait, are we walking there?"

"Yup! Hope you brought your walking shoes."

I glance down at my shoes - a ratty pair of old Vans - and smile. "If I get tired, will you carry me?"

He glances over at me to make sure I'm joking before smirking. "Nope. I'm a firm believer in equality. Either you walk the entire way or carry me."

"Ugh, aren't frat boys supposed to be chivalrous and misogynistic?" I feign annoyance.

In a swift movement, my wrist is tugged so I'm flush against Laine. He smirks down at me and uses his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I thought we established I don't fit into the stereotype."

I thoughtfully tap my chin. "I don't think I have enough evidence to back that up." His smirk widens as he lowers his head to mine. I smile against his lips before kissing him back full force.

He pulls away and chuckles when I pout. "We should go before someone breaks something."

"Or, we could go back to your place and make out?" I suggestively wiggle my brows.

He feigns panic as he holds me by the shoulders and lightly shakes. "Who are you and what have you done with my alcoholic Ellie?"

"Hey!" I scowl.

He roars out another laugh before pulling me into his side. We continue the route down to Frat Row.

"As tempting as that sounds, I need to go or else I'll have points taken off," he tells me. I groan out loud as I remember all the sorority girls glaring at me because I supposedly stole their man. This is going to be fun.

We reach the unfamiliar house. Well, I recognize it because of multiple parties held here, but it isn't Laine's frat. The scrawny freshman at the door straightens up at the sight of Laine and nods respectfully. I bite back a laugh and nod as if I'm someone of importance.

As soon as we're in the doors, I turn to him. "It's so awesome coming with you. They act like you're the Pope," I grin excitedly.

He dramatically clutches his chest. "I knew you're only with me because of my power."

"Ah, the president of a frat. So mighty and powerful," I tease. "It's crazy that I didn't even know you're Mr. Prez."

"Prez. I like that," he smiles before kissing me on the forehead. "Now, let's get you shwasted!"

"You're not drinking?" I frown as he leads me to the kitchen. "It's not your party though! Why not?"

"Eager to get me drunk, are we?" He smirks before handing me a cup. I thank him and scan my drink choices. I end up choosing the homemade punch that has a pinkish tint to it.

I finally answer his question. "A little. I've never seen a drunk Laine."

"I promise you're not missing out on much. Besides, who else is going to make sure you don't take advantage of some innocent brothers tonight?"

If he wasn't looking like his normal self, I would've felt guilty. But he's sporting his boyish smile and doesn't look resentful in the least. So, I guess he's actually over the event. I mean, he can joke about it for fuck's sake!

"Right, innocent," I laugh as I take a long sip. The drink is bitter for being disguised as punch. I make a face and Laine laughs, pointing to a bottle of Mike's Hard. I gratefully nod and take it from him, dumping the cup.

"Come on, there are some people I want you to meet."

Laine's frat friends? Oh god. Kill me now.

He drags me across the crowded room and toward a group of boys. I see a familiar face and frown. I can't remember their names for the life of me.

He smiles at me. "Hey! Ellie, right? We met at the bonfire."

Oh god, oh god, oh god! He knows my name!

"Erm... yeah! Chad?" I say slowly, talking completely out of my ass. It's the first, and most stereotypical, frat name I can think of.

"Haha, yeah!"

Unbelievable!

I let out the biggest sigh of relief. From the corner of my eye, I can see Laine shoving his fist in his mouth to stop his amused smile from showing. He so put me on the spot on purpose! I smile pleasantly at the guys but subtly step on Laine's foot. If he feels it, he doesn't react.

I get introduced to the rest of the boys (in through one ear and out of the other). Thankfully I don't have to guess anyone else's name. I'm running out of cliché names.

Before Laine pulls me away, I manage to grab another drink and follow him outside. When the cool air hits us, he finally lets out a bark of laughter. "You guessed his name, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I sheepishly admit. "Hey! I'm telling you, you guys are pretty similar to your image!"

He stops and turns to give me an incredulous look. "You know, I'm starting to think you've been hanging around with the wrong type of guys. First, you're confused as to why I'm not blowing up at you and now you're going around saying that most frat boys are douches? You need to find better company, babe."

It must be the alcohol fogging my brain but for some reason, I picture the [ex] members of 1D hearing this and pouting.

Giggling, I lean into Laine's side. "Are you saying you're mister perfect?"

"I clearly am in your book."

Sighing contently, I put my head on his shoulder. Laine's pretty good. He's very good. "I like you, Laine."

"I like you too, El," he whispers softly. "Way too much."

I smile as his head ducks down to mine. Our lips collide in a rather sloppy way thanks to my inebriated state. As soon as I grant him entrance, our tongues dance.

Just for a second, he tastes like Harry.

No! No! Bad Ellie. No more Harry.

I rest my hands on his chest while his hands wrap around the small of my back. A soft moan escapes my lips and he tenses. His lips part from mine, allowing me to breathe. He peppers kisses down my jaw all the way to my neck.

"Permission to hickey you?"

I giggle. "Yes Mr.President, sir!"

He smiles against my skin before gently biting down. Another moan escapes me and I cock my head to give him more access. My eyes flutter closed. After he's satisfied, he plants a soft kiss in the same spot before continuing his trail of hot kisses.

A group of hoots breaks us out of our spell. We both jump apart and I hide my embarrassed face in his chest while he groans. "Fuck off guys!" he yells before wrapping his arms protectively around me.

Once I'm sure they're gone and my blush has died down, I lift up my head. "We really have to stop giving people a show."

Something flashes in his eyes before he smirks. "Damn straight."

After that event, we decide to go back inside. I drag his cute little butt to the dance floor after grabbing another drink, something stronger this time.

Harry never danced with me. At least Laine does.

Ellie, stop thinking about Harry. That chapter's closed. Relax.

Closing my eyes, I press my back into Laine's front. My arms reach over and hook around his neck and he grabs my waist. We both sway to the rhythm but it gets to the point where I'm no longer coordinated so he guides me with his hands.

Soon enough, we get hot and heavy. I turn in my arms and hungrily crash my lips to his. By now, all the shock is faded and he follows suit quickly.

The bodies sway around us in a sweaty sea but we're in our own bubble. Just Laine and I. No Harry.

STOP STOP STOP!

"Laine! C'mon dude, we're doing beer bongs!" one of his 'brothers' calls, grabbing him by the shoulder and inevitably ending our make out. I don't hide my irritation, which amuses Laine to great lengths. He grabs my hand and squeezes before pulling me to follow his friend.

Eh, at least we're having fun.

~~~

I lose count of how many drinks I've had, but all I know is that I'm in the perfect euphoric state that most aim to achieve when drunk.

It's amazing.

"I cannot believe you outdrank all of them," Laine whispers from behind as his arms encircle my waist. I proudly grin and nod.

"Am I one of the bros now?" I slur slightly.

He spins me in his arms so I'm facing him. His face is slightly scrunched up, making him look like a puppy. "No, because if you were a bro, I wouldn't kiss you."

My brows teasingly raise as I stand on my tippy toes. Instead of kissing his lips, I go straight for the crook of his neck. As soon as my lips make contact, I feel him stiffen underneath me.

Smiling, I trail kisses across his collarbones, then go up on the other side to his jaw. His grip on my waist tightens, almost to the point where it's painful.

Then I trail over to his ear. "The bros don't kiss you like that?"

I pull away to see his darkened eyes. His mouth opens to say something but a hand clamps over his shoulder from behind. I snicker as the irritation radiates off of him in waves.

But being the good president he is, he lets himself be cockblocked. "What is it, Trent?"

Trent smirks and nods toward me. "What, you're going to let this little thing beat us out in everything?"

I narrow my eyes and get ready to squeal some comment about him being sexist when Laine comes to my aid. "What, you jealous?" he asks.

Trent narrows his eyes at his friend. "How about you try then?"

His words sound like a fantastic idea and I find myself encouraging it. Laine just looks amused at me then finally agrees. "Really to be beaten, babe?"

"Never!" I maniacally laugh.

We decide to play Quarters, a game where you bounce the coin into the cup. The person who loses the most has to drink.

"Let the games begin." I crack my knuckles and focus on my target.

We decide that the first to get three points wins. I miss the first couple of shots thanks to my drunkness. Laine quickly gains two points and I focus on the cup.

I am one with the quarter.

I close my eyes and blindly throw. The sound of metal hitting plastic meets my ears and I jump as I realize I got a point.

I immaturely stick my tongue out at Laine. "Hah! Take that!"

"Yo, you still need two points to win," someone reminds me from the crowd. Way to rain on my parade!

I manage to make the second cup so we're tied now. My need to prove all these frat boys wrong is strong. I don't want to be another one of their helpless followers, I want to show that I can do it by myself.

I want to win.

I cover my eyes and blindly throw the coin. Why? Not sure. Maybe I can't bear to see myself lose.

Suddenly, I'm engulfed in a pair of arms. "Babe! You did it! You won!"

"Whipped!" some people holler from the crowd before dispersing.

"Really?" I squeak in disbelief.

He nods and kisses the top of my forehead. I laugh and hug him tightly.

Damn straight I won!

Still, I take the drink Laine's supposed to have because I respect his decision to stay sober.

And it's a free opportunity to drink.

~~~

Soon enough, I'm drunk enough to not be able to stand upright.

Laine notices this. "Okay, missy. Let's get you back before you fall over."

I pout and hug his arm as he leads us outside. "Why can't we go back to your place? I don't wanna deal with my roomie. She's crazy," I blurt out.

He chuckles and wraps an arm around my waist as we pass a group of boys. "Because you have class tomorrow and I don't think you brought your stuff with you."

Damn him! He's right.

"Fine," I dramatically sigh. "You win this time."

He laughs harder and it echoes into the night. The sound brings a smile to my face. Laine is so carefree. How can one be so unbothered by everything? It's like he's achieved zen.

"Lainey – can I call you that?" I ask as we walk back to my dorm.

He scrunches his nose. "My mom calls me that."

"Ew. I'll stick with Prez. So, Prez. Why are you so perfect?"

His brows shoot up and amusement twinkles in his beautiful eyes. "Careful, you might boost my ego too much."

Taking his warning to heart, I stop with the questions and compliments. We walk in silence, except for my occasional giggling at things that aren't funny.

My building finally comes into view and I scrunch my nose in disgust. "I don't wanna go," I whine.

He turns to me and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"So," I wiggle my brows, completely ruining the romantic vibe, "am I one of the bros now?"

He shakes his head with a toothy grin. "No."

After all that? Still no?

"Why not?" I pout and cross my arms.

He steps closer and cups one of my cheeks. "You're better."

"I am?" I ask breathlessly. "Why?"

My eyes flutter closed as his lips brush against mine. We lock into another kiss, one that doesn't fail to bring butterflies.

After, he rests his forehead on mine. "Because I can do that."

What were we talking about?

OH! I'm better than his bros because he can kiss me.

"Well, I sure hope you aren't doing that with them," I cheekily grin. He kisses my nose before pulling away. "Okay, well I guess I'll let you leave now."

He laughs and strokes my cheek one last time before stepping back. "I'll see you."

"Bye," I sing as I stumble into the building.

As I walk down the empty hallway to my room, an idea pops up in my mind. It's genius, brilliant even!

Sober me is going to love this!

I pace in the hallway of my floor, my sticky shoes sticking to the linoleum floors every time I take a step. The phone rings against my ear.

"El," the British voice breaths on the other line.

I ignore the way the butterflies swarm by the mere mention of my name.

Focus! We have a mission!

I grin. "Styles! I did it! I completely proved you wrong!"

"Are you drunk?"

"Why, yes good sir. I am, in fact, drunk." I pause to hiccup. "That doesn't matter though. Well... maybe it does. That's the whole point of this call! Wait... why did I call. Oh! Right! I'm right, you're wrong."

I can hear the amusement in his voice. "And about what, exactly?"

"I got drunk tonight and I didn't have sex with Laine! I'm fully capable of controlling myself. You totally took advantage of me! In. Your. Face!" I sing as I twirl around the hallway.

He laughs on the other end. Laughs! Can you believe that?

"It seems like your proving my point."

When I don't respond, he elaborates.

"Well, for starters, you yourself just admitted that you were capable of controlling yourself. If that were true, why'd you fuck me then, huh? You wanted it just as bad as me," he says. "And then there's also the fact that you hung out with him all night yet I'm the one you're drunk calling. Admit it El, you want me just as bad as I want you."

I stare at my phone, dumbfounded. Is that true?

I slide down the wall until my butt's touching the floor. "That... that makes a lot of sense."

"You really are drunk if you're admitting I'm right."

I furrow my brows. "I don't know. I'm just confused," I truthfully admit.

"I know. Sometimes you forget that I know you better than yourself."

He's got that right.

I sigh and rest my head against the wall. "I'm sorry for picking a fight with you before I left."

He dramatically gasps. "Apologizing? Now I know you're really drunk."

"Haha," I sarcastically laugh. "I am and I'll never admit that again so take it or leave it." I pause, then add, "but that doesn't mean we're good again."

He groans frustratedly.

I use my free hand to massage my temple. "Harry... I'm just so... I don't know. Insecure? Broken? There are so many other girls you could be with. Girls that fit into your world. Why would you waste your time on a boring random girl like me?"

"El, you're my soulmate," he reminds me. My heart drops. I expected him to refute my claims but all he did was refer back to our forced bond. It's a stark reminder that we would've never been a thing if it weren't for the whole soulmate thing.

And it hurts a little.

"So? A lot of people love people who aren't their soulmates. Just look at my parents," I rush out in one breath. "Look, I have to go. Sorry again. Bye. Don't call me."

I hang up before he has the chance to remind me that my dad ended up marrying his soulmate.

Why does the fact that we're only soulmates hurt? It's like he's trying to tell me he's out of my league. It's completely true, but it hurts nonetheless.

If we weren't soulmates, we would never be a thing. He'd never notice me and I wouldn't be bothered by him.

We'd be nonexistent.

~

Happy new year!!!!! Hope 2021 is amazing!