My mind feels so much calmer. Harry's convinced me that no one genuinely hates me. 

But he's also told me if I want them back in my life, that it'll take a lot of work.

I've only seen two of four boys so far, which makes me nervous. I don't know how Louis and Liam feel about me, and I don't want to find out. I was lucky with Niall, even though I still need to apologize for being such a bitch. Zayn's that one weird person who can be mad one day and completely casual the next, so I'm not too worried about him.

I just need to apologize to everyone and make it worthwhile.

But, that has to wait. They all need to physically be here, and I have more pressing things to worry about, like school. And Laine. And my sorta psycho roommate...

"I can't believe it's already Tuesday," I complain to Audrey. The break is whizzing past and not in a good way. She looks up from her laptop and smiles, agreeing. She then redirects her focus on her current project.

Drew walks into the living room, giving her a kiss on the head and plopping on the couch.

"Hey, any chance you know if anything is going on tonight? I was thinking of going to a party," I ask. Audrey raises her brows while typing and Drew gives me a puzzled look.

"What? On a Tuesday?" he asks in the most insulted tone.

"Ugh, I'm just gonna say it." I hesitate for a split second. The last thing I want is for them to get offended. Then I remember they're my best friends and sometimes the truth needs to be said. "Ever since you guys grew up, you've been boring."

"Hm, ask Harry," Audrey says absentmindedly. She's definitely not listening.

Drew lightly smacks her arm before turning to me with his full attention. "What are you talking about? We're the same age."

"It doesn't feel like it," I scoff. "She has a real-life job now and she's either at work or working from home and you're barely here too. It's so... weird."

He lightly chuckles. "I guess... but I wouldn't say we're not fun."

"Oh please, Drew! Compared to last year, you aren't."

Audrey blocks out our conversation, furiously typing something. I don't know if I should be impressed or offended by her skills.

"Anyway," I stand up and brush the imaginary dust off my pants. "I'm gonna scour the town and see if I find anything of interest. I'll see you guys later."

"Hey, I think the college here is also on break, so I'd check there," Drew calls out from behind me. I then hear him turn to her and ask if they're boring.

"Of course not, baby," she reassures him, but based on the typing, she isn't even paying attention.

I go into my room and dig out some cute clothes. The dress I was wearing from Sunday night sits on the floor from where I never picked it up. I blush at the memory and keep looking through my bag. I pull out a pink denim skirt and a black bodysuit. Perfect.

After changing and putting on makeup, I'm ready to go. I pair the outfit with white vans and practically skip outside, ready for an adventure. Anythings better than sitting at home all day. If I wanted that, I would've stayed with my mom.

"Uh no. You are not wearing that," Drew protests as soon as he sees me. "I can see your ass."

I roll my eyes at him. He's so dramatic. My skirt totally covers all my assets... unless I bend. Simple, I just won't.

 "Drew, let her be. She looks cute," Audrey smiles. I shiver in disgust, seeing the resemblance between them and parents. Well, not my parents, but the kind I imagine that most people have. 

I guess they're my new mom and dad.

"Thank you Audrey," I say overdramatically. "Besides, since when do you dictate what I can and can't wear?" I put my hand on my hips and narrow my eyes at him.

"You're going out alone, I don't want creeps approaching you," he defends, throwing his hands up to show he means no harm. I grin and kiss him on the cheek.

"You're sweet. I'll be fine, but thanks dad," I laugh, earning a groan.

"You're making me feel old," he moans disdainfully.

I wave goodbye to the pair and make my way to my car. I stop at the hood, debating whether it's worth it to drive. Knowing me, I'll get drunk and I don't want to leave my car at some random place.

I don't even know where I'm going for fuck's sake!

My phone rings and I pick it up without hesitation. "Hello?" I silently curse myself for not checking caller-id. What if it was my lovely father calling to chat?

"Where are you going?" an unexpected voice asks. I look up and scan the parking lot to see a black range rover reversed parked into a spot. Harry nods at me through the windshield.

"Okay, uh, are you stalking me now? Because that genuinely has me concerned," I speak into the phone. He chuckles and hangs up. I watch him turn off his car and make quick strides to me. His eyes give me a once over and darken considerably, but the goofy grin on his face doesn't fade.

He goes in for a hug but stops himself. Force of habit, I get it. Just like every time I see him I have the urge to rip his clothes off.

Oh, is that not the same thing?

"You're dressed... nice... for an evening out," he gulps, looking at my exposed legs. I smack him on the head to catch his attention. He shakes his head, curls falling into his eyes, to gather his thoughts. "Um, yeah, sorry. I promise I wasn't stalking you. I was debating whether to go in or not."

"Sounds so legit," I say sarcastically. "What's up?"

"Well, I was gonna ask if you wanted to do something tonight, but it seems like you're busy..." he trails, waiting for my confirmation.

I sheepishly laugh and confess I have no plans. "Going with the flow," I say. Then, I ponder about inviting him. I could sure use some company. "How's your night looking?" I ask instead, getting a feel for whether he wants to come.

"Free," he says quickly, then clears his throat. "I mean, I was just gonna hang with you anyway..."

"So, do you wanna come?"

"Sure," he says nonchalantly. "But I'm driving."

"Hey!" I smack his arm as we walk to his car. "I'm a good driver."

"Please, that was a five-minute drive, barely enough time to judge," he points out and unlocks his car. His arm shoots out across me and opens the passenger side for me.

"Oh wow," I snort. I whisper "kiss-ass" under my breath, earning a grunt. 

He gets into the driver's seat fumbles with the radio before pulling out of the lot. A weird part of me wished he parked normally, so he'd have to reverse.

I can just picture it now. His hand on my thigh, but he moves it to change the gear. Then, his hand would be behind my headrest as he turns 180 and reverses out, even though the car has a review camera. There would be a small crinkle between his brows as he focuses on not hitting anything.

I dreamily sigh.

"Everything okay?" he asks, his hand lingering on the gear shift. My face turns a bright pink and I angle myself toward the window, watching our building disappear from sight.

"All good," I squeak back. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," a slight smirk plays on his lips, making me nervous. Whatever he has planned must not be in my favor.

I redirect my attention to the window, watching the view. "So, how have things been?" I decide to play catch-up with him, even though I'm uninterested in hearing about him and Trina. Hopefully, he's smart enough to omit those details. "How are the boys? I haven't seen Louis in a hot minute."

"Things have been good," he replies. I see his right hand reach out for my leg, but he stops himself and settles it on the gear instead. Disappointment washes over me, even though this is what I asked for. "I've been trying to stay lowkey, but it's been tough. Louis' been good, I think. He's a tad bit cross with me."

My interest piques. "Oh, why?"

He gives me a deadpan look before facing the road. "Why do you think?" My mouth makes an o-shape as I process the reason. Obviously, they're fighting about me. "He thought I should have tried harder," he says quietly.

I awkwardly shift in my seat. This is definitely not where I want the conversation to go.

"Have you talked to Lily?" he asks seconds later and I let out a breath of relief. "About your dad, I mean."

"Not really. I don't know how to. Every time I even think about bringing it up, I get so angry that I know I'd yell at her. I don't want her to hate me," I admit.

He nods like he understands where I'm coming from. The rest of the car ride is awkwardly silent, but I manage by keeping my eyes out the window. It's like we've run out of things to talk about. There are no safe topics.

"How's uni been?" he asks, breaking the silence once again. "The campus was nice."

"Oh trust me, you probably saw a fifth of it. It's really nice, honestly. I made some good friends, even though some are more vulnerable than others," I joke. "Overall, it's amazing though. Like, I enjoy it so much. Classes aren't too bad, except chemistry..." and just like that, I ramble for the rest of the car ride. He actively listens, showing interest in my life.

We eventually pull into a small ice skating rink. Not many cars are parked outside, but it's expected for a Tuesday night. I cock my brow in amusement and he just grins. Out of all the places I expected him to take me, this was definitely not one of them.

We walk up the building, but I hesitantly stop before reaching the door. "Uh, are you sure this is okay? You know, you being here..."

He chuckles and grabs my hand, pulling me inside. "I don't care, El. I don't care if the entire world knows about you. Hell, I'd shout it from the rooftop if you'd let me."

Yes, but I don't want the world to know.

Nonetheless, I appreciate the thought and follow him to the rental counter. We pay for our skates and I suddenly regret not dressing warmer.

"I'm a bloody idiot," he groans, scanning my outfit. "I didn't even think about you getting cold."

"No, it's fine," I laugh, tying up my skates. "I'll be okay. I'm warning you though, Styles. If I fall on my ass, we're out of here."

"Yes ma'am," he mock-salutes. He reaches out a hand to help me up, but I push myself up, smirking a little.

I'm pretty good at skating. Ever since my family took that trip to Chicago last winter, I brushed up on my skating skills.

My stomach drops as I relive that trip. Clyde.

Clyde Kent was a sweet boy I met during that trip. He worked at the cabin sight, chopping firewood. I befriended him quickly, seeing as my sister had a small crush on him. He made the trip much more enjoyable, until the end. He confessed that I was his soulmate, which made no sense considering Harry was already mine.

We ended the trip on a bad note, having a huge fight. Later, I found out he did in a car accident. Even though things ended ugly, I still had a good memory of him. I was sure he was lying about the soulmate thing, but I'd never get to ask.

He was too young to die.

"Hey, where's your mind?" Harry softly asks, breaking me out of my memories.

I muster a small smile and tell him. "I was just thinking about Clyde. The last time I went skating was with him."

His brows furrow in confusion, then realization dawns on him, followed by... panic? Is he scared that I'm going to have a breakdown?

"I'm fine," I reassure him before skillfully waddling to the ice rink. He quickly catches up and I step on, momentarily losing my balance. Before I fall, my arms shoot up and I hold myself upright.

I triumphantly grin before starting to skate. I'm a little rusty at first but I quickly get the hang of it.

Harry? Not so much. He takes small glides and holds on to the wall for his dear life. He's only halfway around the rink when I pass by him for the second time.

"Come on, Styles, I'm pretty sure the kids are moving faster than you," I tease, skating backward to face him. The rink is barely populated so I don't worry about colliding into anyone.

"How are you so good at this?" He groans in frustration. I playfully roll my eyes and skate toward him, stopping myself with the wall.

I hold out my hands and he skeptically looks at me before grabbing them. There's definitely a warm feeling in my chest but I ignore it. Going backward, I slowly pull him away from the safety of the wall and toward the middle of the rink. He looks terrified and I bite back a laugh.

Poor thing.

"Bend your knees a little," I instruct. He nods and crouches low to the ground. I don't even hold off on my laughter. "Not that low! Like this," I giggle, showing him my stance.

He chuckles and stands taller, mimicking me. I let go of his hands for a second and panic spreads across his face as he calls out for me. I roll my eyes and skate to his side so we're facing the same direction.

His hand finds mine and grips tightly, as if he's going to fall at any second. I slowly start skating, dragging him along with me. We make it around the rink once and then I'm confident in his abilities.

I speed up a little so he can gain momentum, then I let go.

"Babe! I'm doing it!" he excitedly yelps. I grin at his childlike excitement, ignoring the endearing term he used. He turns around to make sure I'm looking and I shoot him a thumbs up.

"Watch out!" I scream before hearing a thud. I quickly skate over to a hunched over Harry, who hit the wall because he wasn't paying attention.

He glares at me as I approach him, as if this is my fault. I stop right in front of him and hold my hand out.

I could see him mentally debating whether he should drag me down as a form of revenge. His eyes rake over my outfit again and he decides against it, grabbing my arm and pulling himself up. Smart man.

"Maybe we should go," he huffs.

"Aw, little baby is sad because he fell," I tease, pinching his cheek. He groans and swats my hand away. I follow him to the exit though, because it's getting way too cold for me.

Of course, I have to help him there.

The rental guy looks amused at our short visit but doesn't comment on it, thankfully. I'm not sure if Harry's ego can take any more hits.

"If I knew you were so good at skating then I wouldn't have brought you here," he huffs as we walk back out in the warm Florida air. I welcome the heat with open arms.

I smugly smirk as we sit back in the car. Harry's good at a lot of things, but ice skating is something I have him beat at. It's a good feeling.

"What are you smirking at?" He glances over at me before throwing the car in reverse. I feel giddy inside. He's finally doing it! He puts his arm around my seat and twists his whole body, facing the back. He furrows his brows in concentration, making sure he isn't going to hit anyone.

I stop myself from sighing, knowing he'd ask about it. Instead, I answer his earlier question. "I'm finally better than you at something."

He looks deeply offended by my statement. When the car is in drive, he finally replies. "I was just pretending to be bad so you'd help me."

"Mhm, sure," I smirk, not believing a word. He doesn't even argue and I silently pat myself on the back for winning this fight.

He turns on the radio to fill the silent car ride. Even though I had different plans for tonight, I find myself feeling exhausted. Skating really sucked the energy out of me.

I'm not even a little disappointed when we turn back into the apartment complex. 

He pulls into the closet spot and kills the engine. I feel his gaze on me, but I can't find myself to meet it.

"Do you want to come inside?" The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. I nervously look at him. He definitely looks a little surprised. His hesitation makes me feel dumb for even suggesting it though.

"Uh, yeah," he replies, fighting back a small grin. I hop out of the car, him on my trail. As we make our way up, I call Drew. I'd rather not walk in on something... intimate. He answers and lets me know that the door is unlocked.

Harry makes himself right at home as soon as we step in. It makes me wonder how often he really visited this place. Even I felt out of place here, but it didn't seem to be a problem for him.

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate. You want some?" I ask, heading into the kitchen. He mumbles an affirmative answer and I pull out two mugs.

Even though I've warmed up, I'm still a little cold. As the milk heats up, I make my way to my bedroom, changing out of the skimpy clothing. I was just lucky no one got a face-full of ass tonight.

I wear shorts and a hoodie, along with fuzzy socks to keep me warm. I instinctively glide back into the kitchen, admiring Harry's back on the way.

My phone rings and I pick it up without checking the caller-id for the next time tonight. "You've reached Ellie Marsh!"

"Ellie," a familiar voice chirps on the other line. "How are you?"

"Mace!" I grin into the phone. "I'm doing so much better."

"Who is it?" Harry asks from the living room. Gosh, nosy much?

"Oh! Is that a certain British hottie I hear? Did you guys make up?" She teases, but being nosy at the same time. Seems like they have something in common after all.

I bite back a smile. "No, nothing like that. Well, I guess we did. It's more complicated than I'd like to admit."

"Aw, poor El. You'll figure it out, you always do," she reassures me, then moves on to her gossip. She fills me in on her break and I laugh in amusement. She's really having a great time. She sounds happy too, which is all that matters.

I eventually hang up, needing two hands to finish the beverage. After I top it with a mountain of whip cream, I bring out the mugs and hand one to Harry.

He thanks me and sips on it, practically burning his tongue. If it hurts, he sure doesn't show it. I take my time, blowing on the mug before taking the tiniest of sips. I still manage to burn myself though.

"Who was that on the phone earlier?"

Right, I never answered him the first time. "Just Macy. She was the redhead," I remind him.

"Right. Speaking of, have you met Niall's soulmate?"

I nearly snort. "Oh yeah... she's a piece of work," I reply bitterly. Honestly, Sydney is not on my good side. She seemed pretty stuck up and controlling, but I've only seen her twice, so I can't make a quick judgment. "Where is Niall anyway?"

"Probably at some hotel, waiting for you to invite him over. Poor lad, he's so platonically whipped for you," he chuckles, shaking his head.

I start to feel bad. I do feel a little guilty for exploding at him, but he had good intentions. He may have handled it wrong, but I think a little scolding would set him straight.

"Call him..." Harry urges, sensing my dilemma. He doesn't have to tell me twice. I pick up my phone and then give him a sheepish look.

"I may have deleted his number." I thought I originally blocked him, but I guess I deleted it instead.

"I'll give it, but under one condition." I warily wait for him to continue. "You'll finally give me your number."

"Hm, I kind of like the effort you put in. Think about it. Now, if you have to talk to me, you'll come visit, right? Calling is so lame compared to that," I tease but tense after. The whole point is to let him live his life and let me live mine.

He actually contemplates my answer, making me hold in a laugh. "You're so stubborn," he caves, handing me his phone. While I'm scrolling through his contacts, I end up adding mine without his knowledge.

I keep it under the contact 'My Soul' so he wouldn't notice it right away.

"Gracias," I grin, giving him his phone back. I dial Niall's saved number and wait. To my surprise, it sends me into automatic voicemail. My jaw drops out of surprise. "I think he blocked me..."

Harry snickers, obviously finding a lot of amusement in this.

I hold out my hand and wait for him to give me his phone. After an eye-roll, he does. I dial Niall's number and put it on speaker.

He picks up right away, proving my assumption. "Hello mate, what's going on?"

I nudge for Harry to speak into the phone. "Uh, hey Niall. Just calling to check-in, see how you're doing."

"Aw, lad! That's so sweet. I'm just sitting in my hotel room, lonely as ever," Niall dramatically sighs.

"What a shame. I heard something about Ellie calling you to invite you over, but your phone went straight to voicemail. Know anything about that?" Harry smirks, enjoying this just as much as I do.

Niall groans from the line. "Aw man, I blocked her because I wanted to be petty. Now I'm regretting it. Tell her to call me again, I'll pick up."

This time, I spoke. "Sorry, Niall you missed your chance. That's what you get," I tease into the phone, earning another groan. I quickly hang up before he can beg.

Harry's amused eyes meet mine. "All that trouble to not invite him over?"

"Yeah," I sheepishly grin. "Maybe tomorrow. I'm super tired."

He knowingly smiles at me and gets up, taking the hint. "Okay, I'll get going. I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," I reply, unsure if that's the truth.

~

Hi, it's been a while, hasn't it?

I have a question. Do y'all prefer quicker but worse quality chapters? Or would you rather I take the time to rewrite/edit my prewritten ones, which would probably take a few more days but be better quality?

Since I'm home for break, I'll try to update more often but for some reason, my updating game is only strong when I'm mega-procrastinating so I can't make promises.