Tobirama:

Izuna...

I wasn't angry.

I wasn't mad.

I was furious.

Didn't he understand what danger he put himself in when raising court?

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

I had wished for him to figure it out, but for himself.

I didn't want him to try to get me out.

Madara would find him.

And he would kill him.

Izuna:

There were so many things I needed to reconsider.

Ever since I found out the truth about Tobirama, who he truly was, I had believed he was a bad person. When I was him have Emil killed, I had believed he was a coward, having others do his dirty work. When I saw him in panic when I'd almost drowned him during torture, I had thought he was pathetic. When I'd realised he'd been manipulated, I had thought he was selfish for not just walking away, trading other's lives for his own. When he'd said he'd killed Emil instead of me, I'd been furious because I'd rather have died than Emil.

Now, though...

I had realised that it was never others' lives against his own. He had known everything would keep going even without him, but by carrying out the dirty work of being the mafia boss himself, he'd prevented me from being killed. He hadn't been able to just walk away from Madara, because nothing would change other than me being alive or not. He hadn't chosen between me or Emil; Emil would have died either way, but by keep doing what Madara wanted, I wouldn't.

And he didn't have others doing his dirty work for him. He just couldn't kill. He didn't have it in him.

And of course he was afraid of torture. Anyone would be. That was the whole point. It must have been particularly awful losing control that way after having been manipulated for so long.

Tobirama was broken.

Tobirama suffered from severe depression.

But Tobirama was brave.

My entire being was trembling as I walked down the aisle of the courtroom. I swallowed. Two and a half years. It's been two and a half years.

My heels echoed in the vast room, and people turned to look at me, whispering, probably discussing whether I was a man or woman, and what the fuck someone like me was doing there defending one of the most sought-out criminals in the country.

I held my head high, looked straight ahead and to the right, where my table was.

And on a chair behind it sat Tobirama.

His hair had grown a good bit, so it was as long as Emil's had been, not quite reaching his shoulders. He wore his red stripes but no other makeup, and he wore his glasses. He was dressed in a navy blue suit and a light blue shirt. As I came closer, I could sense he'd changed cologne; instead of his musky vanilla one, this one was fresh, with hints of elder and citrus and mixed splendidly with the wood and leather of the room. Holy shit, he's FORTY-ONE now, I thought.

When he looked at me, I could see his entire face drop. I looked away, suddenly shy before this man whom I'd shared so much with. I sat down.

"Hi", I said.

"Hi", he answered, but his voice cracked, and he tried to cover it up by clearing his throat and trying again. "Umm, hi." It was adorable.

We didn't say anything, just sat there, extremely aware of each other's presence. He towered next to me, radiated confidence and competence and poise, but there was something underneath. An insecurity, a fear, a plea. And I indulged in it.

The hearing began, and I could tell Tobirama was extremely uncomfortable.

"Were you..." I asked. "Or were you not, being controlled by a man called Madara?"

Tobirama gritted his teeth. "I was."

"And why didn't you tell us."

"Because he threatened me."

"With what?" I asked.

He looked extremely uncomfortable then. "Your life."

"And why didn't you think my life was worth the many others who were taken?"

Tobirama became quiet for a while, collecting his thoughts. "If I'd given in, nothing would change. The people would die anyway. The drug dealings would still take place. Madara would make sure of that. But you would die. So I acted. I acted my part."

"You are also responsible for the death of police officer Emil Evergreen." It still crushed my heart. After all this time, it still crushed my heart. "Was that also under threat of Madara?"

"Yes", Tobirama confessed reluctantly to the room.

"And what if you refused?"

"Madara would have him killed. And you."

It went on like this.

For hour after hour, it went on like this.

I had brought Emil's diary and letters, and showcased them. I put up the photos of Madara on a screen, showing off his rings, and compared them to the ones on photos I'd taken with Tobirama. I connected that to what Emil had written in his diary.

I had never worked so hard for anything in my entire life.

We had a break for lunch, and I found Tobirama sitting on a bench in an empty corridor, guarded by two prison guards, legs splayed, elbows on his things, his hands clasped together. He was leaning forwards, looking exhausted. He must've heard my heels, but didn't react.

"Tobes..?"

He looked up, smiled a crooked smile.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry", I said.

"You're doing what you have to do."

I sat down next to him, legs together.

"Fells strange seeing you in a suit", Tobirama said.

I smiled. "You expected a dress?"

"No. But I hoped for one."

I blushed like a madman.

"What will you do?" he asked. "When he comes after you?"

"Madara?" I asked. I smiled a sneaky smile. "Oh, I have a plan for that."

"Will you let me know?" Tobirama asked.

"In time."

We were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, neither of us moving, both silent. In the end, we both broke the silence by speaking simultaneously.

"I have one question-" I begun.

"I need to ask something", Tobirama said at the same time.

"You first", Tobirama said, smiling.

"Did you... Did you know Madara was Emil's ex boyfriend?"

"I had no clue", Tobirama said.

"Were you in love with Madara?" I asked as a follow-up.

He thought for a while, as if creating a perfect sentence in his head like a string of pearls, one pearl at a time.

"In the beginning. Washed away when I saw through him, though."

I looked down. I hadn't even considered the fact that they could've been a couple. What a Goddamn mess.

"Your turn", I said.

At this, Tobirama turned his entire upper body towards me, looked at me with intent. "You said you lied when you said you didn't love me. Was that a lie? Did you still love me?"

I looked back at him, surprised by his question. Of all the things he must be wondering...

I leaned forwards, placed the quickest peck on his lips.

"I still do", I said.

Then I stood up and walked back to court.