Tobirama:

I am sorry.

From the bottom of my heart, I am so, so sorry.

One day I want to explain to you that it stood between this, and Madara having his way with you.

You might have preferred to die, judging by how you screamed his name.

Emil's name.

Would you scream my name the same way if you saw me being tortured?

But if Madara killed you, he would have you watch that tape, torture you the same, AND kill you.

This way, at least you only got to watch the tape, and have your heart shattered as I, once again, betrayed you.

I hope I made the right choice.

I just want you to live a life I will never be able to.

To find someone else like Emil that can take you through life with joy.

I am sorry.

From the bottom of my heart I am so, so sorry.

Izuna:

My team found me five minutes after the tape was finished by tracing the tracker I wore, that Tobirama hadn't been smart enough to figure out he should look for.

It had taken them so long as his house was guarded by cameras, and they had to bring a hacker to make them show empty photage in order to get in and save me.

I hadn't seen the last part of the tape. Or, I had seen it, but my brain had shut off so I didn't understand a thing. My team found me slumped in my chair, drooling.

I was brought to hospital to get fluids into my veins; I was so dehydrated. Tobirama was captured and taken to custody. I was home for two weeks, sleeping. Just sleeping. Cassandra came to take care of me. She cooked me soups which she basically force-fed me.

"Open up. Come on, don't be such a bitch."

She was very motherly, really. She just had a weird way of showing it. And I did hear her cry in my bathroom one night. Whether if it was for my sake or for the trauma of having been kidnapped herself at the same time I was, I didn't know, neither did I have the energy to ask.

I didn't speak more than a few "please" and "thank you" at first, but then started opening up more about what had happened. Cassandra wondered if she could record it to use it as an official police investigation. I accepted. But some more personal things, I said to her off-tape.

"I have feelings for him now, Cassandra!" I wailed. "I wish he was alive! I wish he was alive so I could give him what he wanted, and let him give me what I want!"

Cassandra held me as I cried my heart out. "Would you..." she began. "If you turned back time to when Emil was still alive and Tobirama was still who you thought he were... With the information you had back then, could you have done anything different?"

I thought back on it, the tingling sensation Emil gave me, but also the immense love I felt regarding Tobirama. The hot sex, the cosy cuddles, the deep conversation, the feeling of matureness and safety. I had no doubt Emil could've given me all of that, but at the time, my heart had wanted Tobirama. That made the answer to Cassandra's question "no".

I had nightmares every night, waking up in fits and screams, gasping for air, my skin hurting from where I'd dreamed it had been pulled off, the smell of burnt flesh in my nostrils. In the end, I couldn't take it anymore, but went to the morgue with my police badge.

"I need to see Emil Evergreen's body for our investigation."

The staff didn't even question it. Why would they?

I waited outside as they prepared it, and once they were done, I was let in.

"Do you desire to be alone for your investigation?" the middle-aged woman who was part of the staff asked.

"Yes, please."

Why are you doing this to yourself, Izuna?

This time, his body wasn't on a soft bed, but on a cold metal stretcher. He was completely naked except for a towel over his hips, as opposed to in the farewell room where he'd been fully dressed. He'd lost all color, his skin doughy and white and blue. His face looked ice-cold, his lips slightly parted. He barely looked like Emil anymore. In the farewell room, he'd looked so peaceful, but here, he looked dead. He looked like he was dead and like he was going to be dead forever. He looked like he didn't belong to this world anymore, that he didn't belong to existing.

I put on gloves, went forwards, inspected his cold, clammy hands. Indeed, five of his fingernails were much shorter than the others, never having grown back out properly since they were torn off in his torture. Two of his fingers were slightly crooked, not having healed properly from having been broken. I had never noticed any of that. He was lucky to only get a burn on the one side of his lower face.

This is a boy who has plants as a hobby...

He was so cold.

So, so cold.

"Emil..." I said. This was the first time I spoke to him out loud in his death. "Emil, I love you. I am in love with you and I love you. I'm sorry that didn't happen while you were alive. I'm sorry I never asked about how you got your burn so I could hold you and comfort you." I knew it was ludicrous, that Emil was strong and didn't need anyone to comfort him, that he fought his battles alone to not bother anyone and fought them splendidly at that. "I'm sorry. I miss you. Come back..." I started crying. I put my gloved hand on his cheek. "Come back, Emil."

I went back home, fell asleep immediately.

In my dreams, I could smell burnt flesh.