•••••••

An arm bigger and warmer than Yan Ran's wrapped itself over my waist while dipping their weight in bed next to me, tugging me from my nap. Their breath tickled down my neck. They were careful not to wake me but made their movement as though I knew someone was there.

My pulse heightened.

There's someone next to me. A visitor trespassing my quarters and invading my privacy when I am no longer allowed any guest if not Yan Ran.

My thoughts went to Zian instantly and sat up so fast my head grew dizzy and my vision blurred; my gasp being choked down my throat by a large hand clamped over my mouth, pushing me back to the bed. Not hard but unexpected. Of course, Zian would sneak himself into my bed pursuing his way to force me back into his arms. I never thought he would try something like this but it wasn't his first time, and it won't be the last.

"Peizhi, calm down. It's me."

I tried to fight out of his grip which he doesn't fight against, but instead angled my head so I could see who I was fighting. His scent. His short hair. The rough brushing of his peach fuzz along the back of my hand halted. I knew him all too well.

He cocked his head with a charming smile. "It's me." Mo Lian Tan breathed, reassuring me once again.

Adjusting his features after he released his hand from my mouth, I gasped. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be — "

"And they're safe. I made sure of it as I promised...but I heard what happened and grew impatient to rush back to you. My wife." A shiver traveled throughout my body as his thumb trailed along my cheek and down toward my chin. The title felt warm and more fitting coming from his lips I loved it immediately. He smiled at the word. It's new for him too and it made him happy. Me as well.

"You passed through all those guards?"

He shrugged, a cocky smirk tugging his lips. "A challenge, but I found a way." I followed the motion of his hand traveling down armor he doesn't own. Armor which only the imperial guards wore.

I don't care how he got here or what it took to get him here with me, he's here now. I wasted no time and threw my arms around his neck, embracing him tightly against my chest. He hugged me back almost as if the action was ingrained. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. To know that you came back for me." Squeezing him tighter. "Very happy."

"Me too." Mo Lian Tan nestled his chin in the crook of my neck while stroking down my back careful not to tangle his fingers through my hair. "Has he hurt you?"

"No more than he already has."

A creak at the door pulled me away from Mo Lian Tan already pushing out my arms to gather myself quickly when a figure entered my room and revealed themselves. My thudding heart calmed itself as it was only Yan Ran, but I was still cautious. Mo Lian Tan hit the floor with a hard thud glaring at me until he followed my frightful gaze to Yan Ran.

Though she hesitated for a moment to undress the scene, there seemed to be more important matters at hand, and ignored Mo Lian Tan rushing at my side with a pair of folded clothes. "We don't have much time, Your Highness. You must change these clothes quickly. I have a pair for you too," She handed Mo Lian Tan his clothes and then faced me. "The men are here to take the storages to be cleaned, so you must dress quickly before they leave."

At my furrowed brows, Yan Ran prepared her answers. "Her Majesty spoke of me the plan and I told Mo Lian Tan seeing how he is more fit to take my place at your side than me." She pulled me to my feet after taking my hands and continued, "This is your only chance to escape and we can't waste it. It has been a great honor serving at your side, Your Highness. You have treated me well and with much kindness, but you don't belong here. You have suffered too much and I can't allow you to wither away as many before you had. This is the only way I can pay back your kindness."

"What will happen to you?"

"Don't worry about me, Your Highness. Get dressed quickly."

"If he finds out — "

She narrowed her gaze. "I know. I shall cross that bridge when it comes."

Mo Lian Tan and I exchanged a look before I went to change behind the bamboo panel with Yan Ran's help. A simple dress dressed my body. Slim-fitting with fur-cuff sleeves and wolf fur along the neck area and around the hem of my dress, including the inside and outside of my boots which will keep me warm enough for the weather to come. I braided my hair messily before meeting Mo Lian Tan slipping on his top. A glimpse of his fitted frame and buffed chest glued to my mind.

Yan Ran rushed us to the sitting area where an opened chest faced us. Because it was part of the plan she briefed, Mo Lian Tan got in first. He adjusted himself before offering his hand for me to join him.

I hesitated.

I glanced around the room.

One last look of a place I shall never visit again.

The second I step into this chest, the faces of my family would be only an old memory. Their love to be a vacant space waiting to be filled. Only the distance of the ocean which will keep us parted, will leave time to ponder a future in our image to keep us sane and strong enough to move on. I have no reason to trust Empress Xiuying and I'm unsure how this journey shall end and whose side she'll remain on, but I'm willing to take a leap of faith. To carry out this endless road where both ends are not seen with light, but only one is where I'm desperate to be.

The chest was big enough to fit in but because of his long legs, I had to squeeze myself between him with my back pressed against his beating chest.

Yan Ran kneeled to stuff the rest of my dress inside to keep from slipping out. "Are you comfortable, Your Highness? I know it's stuffy but bear it a bit longer. You have a long journey up ahead." She encouraged though her gaze grew worrisome of the plan if it failed through. We were all worried.

"I'll have to be if I wish to make it out of here." I took her cold hand as she was standing. Yan Ran lowered herself again and waited for what I would tell her. "Thank you."

Smiling, she found Mo Lian Tan who seemed to enjoy our close proximity. "Take good care of her." That was the last she said before I released my grip so she may stand. One last look at my past before the chest closed and nothing but darkness and Mo Lian Tan's warmth surrounded me.

"I should've thought of this before had I known we would be this close to one another." His seductive whisper made me hold my breath. A hand that wasn't mine was trailing along the fur of my dress closest to my neck area, sending a chill as his lips brushed along my ears. Then a soft kiss just at the rim. He's teasing me. "Be careful of your movement. The end result may come of surprise." He said when my body responded to his light touches.

There was no space for me to move and his actions through darkness left my imagination to play, though his breath tickling my ears forced out a giggle — caught in his hand around my mouth as the chest was being lifted. There were two eunuchs carrying the chest to be placed on the back of a wagon. One of them complained about it being heavier than usual while the other wished to complete their tasks for the day.

There's no telling of our exact location or if we were heading in the right direction between being tossed and violently shaken from the rough travel and handiness, but I believe we were with an older man now. A few unaudited words were exchanged before we were passed off to the man and been in his wagon for a long time. It was to the point my fear grew dull and I grew sleepy and fluttered my heavy eyelids before resting my head against Mo Lian Tan's chest. He didn't seem to mind my extra weight against him, passing the time playing with my fingers or stroking my arms.

Until the abruptness of the wagon halting its trip and a loud, hard voice bleeding through the chest woke me from my short rest. "State your business," A voice outside the chest asked. It wasn't a voice I recognized and judging by the tone of his voice and the clanking of his armor sorted my conclusion out to be a guard.

"I'm transporting these crates of wolf fur and rice to my master up-head past village beyond the mountains. They are in need of the delivery by sundown." The older man answered with honesty, or he practiced it long enough to sound truthful. "May I ask what's the hold-up? Has something happened? There are more guards than usual."

"Standard procedure." There's movement on the wagon. Footsteps that wasn't the guard speaking, beginning to check the many crates onboard. "We've been informed to check everyone and everything thoroughly before exiting the city. A rumor has gone around that the Guìfēi  Pearl has escaped her palace so they're closing gates and monitoring tightly before we allow anyone to leave. Please cooperate."

Zian knows I'm gone.

My heart thudded out my chest. I don't know how long I've been presumed as missing but both cities were so big and require hefty time to travel through, not to mention the lines of people going through and exiting and being constantly transported everywhere, it's possible more than three to four hours or so has passed by.

"Are you traveling alone?" The guard on the wagon asked. He closes a crate before moving on to another.

"Y-yes. Only me."

Mo Lian Tan shifted my body to reveal a dagger hidden in his clothing, clutched tight in his fist as if it would escape.

The old man interjected the second a crate on top of ours was lifted, the guard's legs kicking the chest on accident trying to set down the heavy crate. "If you don't mind, I'm running on a tight schedule. You can see all that I have is wolf fur and rice as I said, and my master isn't someone to — "

"We'll ask for your opinion old man when we ask for it. Have your master answer to their emperor if they feel unsatisfied by our services."

Upon his hands fumbling for the lid of the chest, Mo Lian Tan scooted my body forward so that my knees were to my chest and lowered my head either to offer him more space or so I won't see what will happen next despite my eyes witnessing worse. I attempted to control my shaky breath by clamping my hand over my mouth but failed. I can't go back. I won't go back. I am so close to regaining my freedom, to be where I should be in life, and I can't allow it to end this way. My eyes squeezed shut as light began seeping through the crack and a breeze of cool air shivers me cold. Mo Lian Tan readied himself to attack the second the guard opens the lid further, and while he was focused to protect us both, I felt his warm hand rubbing my lower back in an attempt of calming me down. To know that it'll be okay. That he will protect me now.

I waited for something to happen — nothing.

Peeking open an eye, we were in darkness again. Not too far, a man is yelling on the top of his lungs stating he's an important man who shouldn't be checked or suffer in this long line of lowborns going nowhere when the day grows colder. The scene seemed to have attracted many guards in his direction. Perhaps he was causing further disturbance than his shouting. We heard the guard jump off the wagon to assist the situation and the old man stacking back the crates before he was able to pass through the gates.

I sighed with relief.

"Are you alright?" Mo Lian Tan questioned. He held me against his chest after putting away his dagger, so tight he didn't mind the little air he breathed.

I nodded in response. I just want to get as far away from here as I can get.

Traveling for yet longer than before, the wagon comes to a complete stop. I'm awake this time but Mo Lian Tan was asleep until the jerking woke him up. The dagger was found in his hand within seconds.

But lowered his dagger to the face of a harmless old man opening the lid and revealing us to the darkening sky. "My apologies, Your Highness, but this is as far as I can take you both. My wagon won't make it through this weather and thick snow — careful as you get out." He offered his helping hand as I got out of the chest, facing the white fall of snow coating the woods with no sense of direction as to where we were.

Mo Lian Tan followed after me.

My legs wobbled having not been on my weight for hours I fell against Mo Lian Tan's chest, regaining myself. My feet suck in the snow within seconds. "Where are we?" I asked the old man who wasn't a familiar face.

"Not far from Green Lake, but if you head in that direction there," I followed his pointed finger which appeared the same all around. "You will reach Gold Port in two days' time though in this kind of weather, it may depend. I don't have much, but this should be enough for the journey."

Mo Lian Tan took the bag the old man handed; food, water, a blanket, and more wolf fur. I took the spare lantern after he passed us each one. "Which way is the nearest village?"

"Still in that direction, though it will be miles from here. You could freeze your asses off or be dinner to the wolves. Now, I must go. Safe journeys."

"Wolves?" I questioned with fear just as he was taking his leave.

Mo Lian Tan took my hand when he noticed I wasn't following behind him in the direction the old man pointed and scoffed. "Don't tell me you fear wolves?" His lantern guides us through the howling woods while I kept flashing in every direction in sight for wolves.

"And you don't? I've seen what their claws can do. I will be the first they attack."

"At least it will give me time to run to safety."

I released my hand to push him from me, but because of the snow holding our ankles hostage, the impact wasn't how I imagined. These were memories I would hold dearly to my heart. Filled with glee laughing with a man who always knew how to distract my mind from reality to the point I almost forgot why we were on the run. Mo Lian Tan seemed to have that effect on me from the first moment we met, and I knew for sure if not then or now, that he was someone I could truly be happy with for a long time. Had I known earlier I could've been happy then, but, the universe had other plans for me. All I can do now is be happy at the moment while it last and to never make the same mistake again — as a dear friend once said.

Shining the lantern, something is different. We're making turns rather than keeping straight as the man informed, and though our surroundings appeared the same, I knew we went off trail.

My heavy feet stomped at Mo Lian Tan's side when our inches grew longer, a smirk could be seen on his face when I bumped his shoulder trying to keep up.  "This is not where the man told us to go. You've lost us in the middle of nowhere and the temperature's continuously lowering. W-we'll die out here." My teeth chattered.

He didn't seem bothered by the change of direction and dared to not correct his error. "We'll die before we make it to the next village." Mo Lian Tan answered without worry, though his reassuring tone made me aware his directions weren't an error. "If we're near Green Lake then there should be a cave for us to rest in for the night."

"How do you know this?"

"My profession before you requires traveling, and to travel, I must know my surroundings well. Had I gone through..." he trailed, wishing I filled in the blank; had he killed me or Zian. "...with it, the cave would've been first on my list."

Despite many appropriate worries that should invade my headspace, one kept sneaking itself through until it left my lips. "Are there wolves in the cave?"

"Maybe." He read my glare at the humor in his tone and let out a sharp bark of a laugh. Then with my cold hand in his, he leaned to press his lips against my forehead. "But I will protect you so you have nothing to worry about."

"Is that before or after you decide to run to save yourself?"

"After." He responded with a smile. "After I created some distance, I will then regret my decision and come running back to you. Who else will put up with my selfishness?"

If my face wasn't already red, it'd be red and aching from how hard I was smiling. "Who says I've been putting up with it?"

"Well, you're here now, are you? And you're holding my hand quite tight."

I loosened my grip. "Sorry."

"I never said I didn't like it." He squeezed my hand as it was before.

Yeah...I can see a happy future together.

We arrived at the entrance of a dark and dreary hillside cave just at nightfall, darkness so thick it's impossible to see more than a few feet in front of me. Mo Lian Tan's the first to enter and check out if it was secure before his echoey voice carried me to follow his lit lantern. Because of snow seeping through the entrance made it slippery to walk through but the further we continued, the drier and somewhat warmer the cave felt. Though still, it was cold. It's much bearable now.

My head perked when Mo Lian Tan began heading out the cave once settling our things down. "W-where are you going?" I asked, fear soaking my tongue for valid reasons. I don't want to be left here by myself and it's not safe for him to go out while Zian's looking for me.

He kept walking despite my worry. "To find dry wood or else we'll freeze to death. I won't be gone long and there are no wolves in the cave, it's a round cave." He assured.

I sat on the ground and leaned against the grainy wall of the round cave when Mo Lian Tan took his leave. With my hands cuffed, I blew warmly to thaw out my stiff fingers and remained as quiet as I could to not draw any attention. Mo Lian Tan returned after a moment with the wood and spent more time brushing the snow off and drying it.

He reeled back his head, impressed when I volunteered to help him and light the fire myself. It was probably the first time we worked together on a simple task, like a married couple.

After successfully growing the fire now felt along our skin, I caught his expression unable to look away. A prideful expression that warmed me inside. "I'm a farmer's girl. These skills are a must." I informed, failing to bite back my inching smile.

With a groan, Mo Lian Tan sat across from me. Bread the elder packed us was found in his hand, halving it and giving the other to me. "It's a shame you won't be a farmer's girl or wife when we're married and across the sea."

"Oh, really?" My brow lifted curiously. "And how will this be like? What will I do?"

"As promised, you will live comfortably without stress or slaving yourself to labor. If you wish to do more, then I shall provide it, though I'd like if you stuck to relaxation and spending money as you seem fit."

"And you? What will you do once I've spent everything?" Leaning in careful of the blazing flames, I whispered loudly. "And I'm determined to run you dry."

Grinning delightfully, "I plan to drop my profession and become a simple merchant who sells the fish I catch every morning." He responded with honesty. "With all the money I've obtained over the years, it doesn't matter what I do because we'll still live comfortably until we're of old age and our children have children."

I took a breath then went back to chewing my half of bread. I never thought about having children after losing one so soon. It was still a tough subject to speak on without my throat tightening and tears blurring my vision, but I knew Mo Lian Tan would be a good father one day. I could picture myself leaning against the wall of our home with a smile too big on my face watching him show our child how to fish properly. Or him allowing our child to walk in his shoes around the house. At least I'm assured he'll love our child no matter their differences.

Mo Lian Tan caught the narrow of my gaze followed by my short silence and slapped his lips. "I'm sorry. My mind went without speaking, I don't mean to open a fresh wound. I meant in the future, if you would like — "

"After we're settled across the sea, then we may revisit this conversation."

He nodded in agreement.

The mood shifted and I didn't want to be at fault so I decided to continue our previous conversation. "Wherever we go, I would like to own a small farm because it reminds me of home and it's a part of who I am," I told him. "I know too much to waste my skills and we can have our own crops to eat and sell from."

He smiled. "I know nothing of farming since I fed hay to horses as a boy and kept them healthy. You will have to teach me these skills."

"And me fishing."

In agreement, we shared a nod. Me, more of a blushing smile. Him, already picturing our life together. I'm happy to gain his support in my choice of lifestyle, that we were able to compromise without me feeling guilty of what I was taking from him. Is this what it's supposed to be like? A healthy relationship? Will it always be this easy to meet in the middle?

After we finished our bread, I lay near the fire with the blanket hugging my body forcing myself in a comfortable position to sleep through the night. However, I couldn't. There were too many thoughts clogging my mind, my fear of wolves being one of them, so I watched the dancing flames in hopes I'll doze off.

Mo Lian Tan must've been watching me the entire time — besides keeping watch — as I struggled to sleep and decided he had enough, the movement of his body could be seen through the flames as he lifted himself from the cave's wall and sat before the flames. Opposite from me. "You would be warmer if you sat next to me. Perhaps, you will sleep better too." He offered while patting the empty spot next to him.

I don't think about his proposal before I stood to my feet and sat next to him. Instantly warmer and at ease with my fears eating me inside, Mo Lian Tan guided my head to rest upon his shoulder and pulled me closer into his warmth. It's comforting. Nice. And he smells well. Like him.

"And if we were naked..."

I smacked my head gently against his shoulder, forcing a laughter from him. "Don't spoil your luck."

We stayed like this for a while longer listening to the silent whistles of the wind, satisfied just by one's side until I loosen my top and let it slide off my shoulders, exposing the top half of my body before his eyes.

"But if we were naked..." Guiding Mo Lian Tan's cool hand down my thudding chest anxious to be naked before another man who wasn't Zian, a man soon to be my husband. The man I deserve and was sure I wanted. "What else would we do?"

Giving Mo Lian Tan no time to take me in as he wished, I crashed my plump lips desirably against his and he wasted no time flipping our position. With me on my back against the blanket we shared and him between my legs. "Is this okay?" He asked against my lips, still applying kisses in between.

My fingers traced along his bare chest after successfully removing his top. "Yes. I want you now. Is this okay, for you?" I returned his question.

"Yes. Absolutely yes."

Upon our consent, Mo Lian Tan allowed his hands to feel along my body leaving little to no space between us; a hand reached at my neck to keep up with my lips. The other much lower helping me undress until I'm completely naked beneath him.

His eyes had darkened with lust but his cheeks were flushed while taking in my naked frame, admiring every inch of what he's never seen before. "You are very beautiful, Peizhi." His genuine compliment made me smile. It helped flush any thoughts biting me though nervousness still took hold under his view. "I — and I am privileged enough to see you in every shape and form to share this moment with you, that you are comfortable to allow me to handle you with care. But I warn you now," his thumb trailing along the edge of my jaw and his gaze darkens. "I will have you sore by morning."

My throat cleared as my cheeks kept burning. "You are beautiful too, Mo Lian Tan."

He chuckled lightly at my unexpected compliment. "Am I?" I nodded. "I will take your word on it, but it will never level with what I see right now. What I've always seen before."

My heart fluttered as he looks at me with a look I could only describe as pure love and admiration and security. And all I could think of was how much I love him, and the time I wasted loving someone else who didn't deserve my love to begin with. This man has been patient with me since the very beginning. He waited for me to come to him first and respected my wishes no matter how foolish they were, and saw a side that not even Zian has witnessed and loved me for it all.

And it is true, I do love Mo Lian Tan.

I was sure the thought was kept to myself but his cocked head, his finger gently brushing a strand behind my ear and caressing my flushed cheeks told me otherwise. "And I love you too." His tongue licked up my chin to my lips, gripping me into a passionate kiss.  He's a passionate kisser. Far better than Zian and often used his tongue in any way he could. "Keep loving me the way you do and don't stop until you've used me well."

Each kiss filled my heart enormously. And my body responded to his every touch; his hand tenderly on my breast, his hard bulge grinding against me and I was losing it. My head fell against the blanket, biting my lips while letting my eyes roll back.

"Are you teasing me?" I breathed out.

"I haven't started yet."

My pants grew at the feeling of his kisses dragging down my body and lifted my head. "What are you doing?" A sense of unfamiliarity found my voice.

"You will love this. Just relax."

Between my breast, he continued. To my belly button, he's there. My back arched the lower he traveled and he locked his hands around my thighs to give more excess and keep my legs from closing him in. I had no clue what he was planning to do because it was nothing Zian has ever done before, though it felt similar to stories the women around MeiHua would tell. Something Lienna shared and Zhao Ji joked about.

Mo Lian Tan must've felt my head lifting because he commanded me down again. And kissed my lower abdomen. I obeyed. Or tried to.

My hips hoisted at the feeling of Mo Lian Tan's warm breath at my inner thighs, overwhelming my desires which craved him to keep going. But he's too close. "W-wait," I moaned out. My lips could bleed by how hard my teethed pulled at it and my heart could probably burst beating as fast as it did.

Mo Lian Tan stopped his movements and peered up from between my legs. His brows rose amusedly. "Do you wish for me to stop, Peizhi? Despite how beautiful you're looking at me right now?" A smirk found his lips when my body jerked at his soft kisses narrowing closer to my opening. I swore he commented how sensitive I am. "Do you?" Then his wet tongue glazes up my slit toward my clitoris, forcing a pleasurable squeal and my thighs to clench around him.

He does so again and I wanted to scream. A mixture of excitement and feeling as if I wanted to laugh only because it tickled. But it felt soooo good.

A dazed feeling that had me drowning in pleasure flourishes my system. "Yes," My fingers buried through his thick hair. "I mean no. No, don't stop. Please."

My begging seemed to have switched something in Mo Lian Tan where he was now devouring himself between my legs. My breath halted as though air was being choked out of my lungs. He continued to lavish me with broad and gentle strokes, tasting his tongue and soft kisses where no man hasn't. And to me, it felt incredibly intimate.

"Breathe, Peizhi. You're holding your breath." His sultry voice found itself through my fuzzy ears and kissed my thighs to allow my accelerated heart to calm down.

My hand pushed him down. "I will. Please..." I held his contact and found myself even more aroused just watching him do so as he did to watch my face unravel. "continue."

And he does.

He didn't mind my fingers ripping at his hair, my hips grinding against his warm mouth to the point of suffocation, or my loud moans echoing back, and my muscles began to tense up in anticipation. Not only did I feel sensational there but all through my body. It was nothing I have ever felt before and felt more drunk than sober. My toes tingled and my belly warmed, pleasure so intense it was overwhelming to the point I felt tears blurring my vision. Then, my body quivered in a spark of tidal waves as I released the growing pit.

We took a moment to calm ourselves, both our chests rising and falling rapidly before Mo Lian Tan climbed over me and kissed me passionately. "I said you would love it, did I lie?" He broke away from the kiss to lie next to me so proud of my reaction which still jerked at the simplest touch or it was his talents that still lingered.

"No, you didn't. I loved it a lot." His confidence vividly grew, but I couldn't help but allow my mind to wonder now that the wave was clearing. "Have you done this before?"

"I don't meet many people to try this on."

"But you knew how to do it?"

Instead of answering my question, Mo Lian Tan propped himself on his elbow and cocked his head, smirking as if he knew something I didn't. "Is this your way of asking me? You know, if you wish me to do it again you can just ask. I have caught my breath since someone enjoys suffocating." He teased.

Rolling my eyes, "Whatever."

"Whatever." He playfully mocked me, his breathy voice close to matching. Then his lips brushed along my sweaty skin, placing the softest kiss along my chin. "Yes? Are you asking?"

"Are you serious?"

"Very."

I sat up to view him clearly. "Do you want me to ask?"

"I do, yes. I would love it if you did."

He laughed at my expression when I fell back to the blanket in a pout. Of course, he would want me to ask for a sexual favor I never had before. Though, as I thought more about it, having sex with him was fun and new and I want more. I needed more. Besides, I couldn't think with his finger circling around my belly button.

I then spun over and pressed my hand against his wide chest. "Please," He hissed upon my lips kissing upwards but my hand trailed over the hard bulge pressing against his trousers. "I need you," kissing the corner of his lips. "I want more. More of you." He leaned forward aching my lips but I pulled away, peeking up at him with big doe eyes. "Will you give me more?"

No hesitation, "Yes."

A squeal left my lips as he tugged me closer by his grip on my thighs without warning, devouring my lips while leading himself on top. Another round and more.

••••••••

You're welcome