••••••

Her blood still stains my hand. Dark red. Seeped into the fabric of my clothing which I held to my chest to mourn the death of my friend before I was detained by guards rushing into my palace and thrown into a cold, dark cell similar to the one Mo Lian Tan was held in.

It could not have been for Zhao Ji since she was just a mere worker with nothing to her name, a person many would look over. So it had to be about the only who's funeral was held today. Shūfēi Yiyi. Even after death, that bitch can't seem to unrip herself from my life and die peacefully.

I gather myself from lingering thoughts when the jangling of keys rattled the rusty bars as the door was being unlocked. Then, Prince Son entered the small cell with an expression identical to his cunning mother still dressed in his mourning clothes, and took his spot across from me. He waved away the guards.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I asked while forcing myself to smile despite hating the view of his presence before me, still, hung on her death. My cold fingers fidgeted between my legs and her blood, which has stained my hands, was now wet and able to leave its print against more objects.

He's important. He's a prince. He's not his mother, but he's not innocent. He's important.

"You are being held here under interrogation for your involvement in my mother's death."

I sighed. "Then you are wasting your time. I have not met with your mother." I responded naturally, surprised I convinced my own-self.

"But you told me you would meet with her. That you would hear her out. There are witnesses to account for your word." He accused. "And I find it fitting the moment you make this promise to me, she's dead the next morning. And to make it even more suspicious, you failed to attend her funeral when everyone but you was there."

He's important.

He's important but he's aggravating and if someone doesn't put him in his place now and correct the wrong, then who else will? I am already crumbling with a mix of emotions and I don't need any more of their shit weighing me down further.

"Firstly," Failing to comb my stressful fingers through my thick hair while sucking in a calming air of breath to control my faltering temper. "I did not make any promises to you so don't put words in my mouth. I said that I may pay Shūfēi Yiyi a visit over the course of weeks to come when I felt ready to see her face not, when you deem it as appropriate within your timeframe. I'm unreasonable, remember? Do you think I would please your needs over my own? As I said, you're wasting your time. And you aren't the only with witnesses in my palace within my walls with several of present ears who works for me." Leaning over the table I whispered, "You didn't think this through but I admire your spirit." I pulled away. "Because you are grieving, I will forgive you. But next time...I won't."

Prince Son fell quiet. As I said, he didn't think this thoroughly and acted on his heightened emotions. I don't feel bad for him or his shredded tears.

His eyes narrowed to the marks along my neck which was not covered properly since I was torn away in my nightgown with only the blanket Zhao Ji gave me. "Your neck..." Prince Son inquired. "How?"

"My nephew can be playful."

"But you have only recently opened your gates and this look recent."

He got me there, so I thought of something quick before he caught on my lies. "Do you wish to stand at my gates and take attendance of who enters and exits at every hour in one day?" At the sarcasm hidden in my tone, Prince Son grew quiet again. In thought and in much pain. "It's true," He lifted his gaze with a spark of hope. "I don't like your mother and we never got along well as many suffered in the same, but I would never harm her. I'm too much of a coward to take another's life. Besides, what would my involvement do when she hung herself? Hold her down? I think it's time you accept your m — " I reeled back with a gasp when Prince Son flipped the table between us.

He jumped to his feet angrily and pointed his finger at me. "I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING! YOU ARE GUILTY OF MY MOTHER'S DEATH AND I KNOW IT WAS YOU! YOU WILL SPEAK ONE WAY OR ANOTHER."

It was then the blade of his sharpened sword was felt at my neck nicking a few strands of my hair which tickled my hands as they fell. I tilted my head to meet his furious gaze, wondering why I wasn't as afraid as I should be or begging on my knees for his forgiveness. Or what prompted the slightest smirk as I questioned, 'Will I?'. He knew I was guilty and held no remorse toward my actions and it fueled him further, lifting his sword to strike...

Until another sword has met his neck and revealed Zian with the eyes of a man who could murder another without batting an eye. I could tell he rushed here the second he heard as his hair was still falling over his face and his clothes were messily put together. "How dare you shame my wife and drag her from her home in nothing without my authorized permission, then threaten her and raise your sword to strike what is not yours and what may have cost your life. Drop your sword, brother, and return home." He threatened.

Heated tears burned his cheeks, still holding his sword at my neck. "She murdered my mother and the guilty shall suffer for their crimes no matter what status keeps her protected or who." He gritted.

"NOW!"

His hand trembled. He doesn't want to lower his sword but doesn't want to lose his life to his own brother who proved how serious he was by cutting the top layer of his skin. With a conflicting scream, he finally lowered his sword. As promised, Zian did too and moved aside for him to leave. He sent a deadly glare, a warning this wasn't the last of him and left.

"Zi Fan," His lowered figure appeared at Zian's side out of nowhere, his eyes taking no peeks in my direction though he acknowledged my presence. "This arrest was not authorized with my consent. I want every guard involved executed by tomorrow morning and extra patrolling to ensure Prince Son remains far from my wife."

He bowed. "Yes, Bìxià." And left.

Zian immediately noticed the blood staining my hands but didn't question the reason as he stood me to my feet and tightened the blanket around my shoulders so I'd remain warm. Her body wasn't hard to miss and knowing him, I'm sure he took care of it and is choosing to look past my actions as he did for Shūfēi Yiyi. "I'm glad I came in time. You must be freezing, let's get you home and warmed up — what are you doing?" Zian questioned when I stepped into my cell. His brows furrowed when I shifted from his grip to remain in the cell and sighed. "Peizhi, you are no longer a prisoner here. You can leave. You aren't guilty."

"I am guilty," I told him. "I'm guilty of attempting to murder the Emperor in his sleep with this." I uncovered the hairpin somehow hidden in my thick hair. "I was going to jab it in your neck and watch you bleed."

I don't know what came over me, but I can't waste another second lying in the same bed next to him. Let alone be left alone with him and tormented by his peaceful breathing and his suffocating presence.

Zian snapped his head in the direction of the guards who heard my confession and deepened the crease between his brows as he forced himself to understand me, but when coming at a loss, he finally gave up and asked. "Why?" He frowned.

I chuckled. "Must you ask why even when the answer is so obvious?"

"I don't understand why we keep playing this foolish game back and forth, Peizhi. Is my love not enough for you? Is my will withholding myself from barging down your doors to allow you your space which I granted even when I want to be at your side, isn't enough for you? Is covering for your crimes not enough for you? Tell me, what can I do to mend our problems so that we can go back as husband and wife?"

"You're a smart man, Zian. Probably the smartest man I'll ever meet, but you're not being smart now. You're not using your head." I continued after a short beat. "Why would I kill my closest friend and leave her for dead if not for a secret she has kept from me? A secret you kept from me. Think about it."

We shared a long and silent stare. Then his brooding expression faltered as a pit of guilt nuzzled deep in his belly, and took a few staggering steps back. I could see Zian was coming to realization of the truth only he and Zhao Ji would share. His breath quivered, hoping it wasn't what he thought he was until he knew. Just by the hatred which I burned into his soul, he knew.

A nervous chuckle left Zian's lips though worry filled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, as if it would help speed time or the tension would wake from this reality that wasn't a dream. He's crumbling. Finally revealing his true face before me, and when I expected more by cornering him with his lies, he concealed every bit of it. "I don't think you are well, Peizhi." He started. "In fact, you haven't been yourself in these last few months and I can't blame you for what you can't control. Perhaps...there is still poison in your system conjuring these ideas."

What is he doing? Is he trying to make me out as ill?

"Are you serious right now?"

Zian said nothing.

I pushed him against the cell but he fell through the open door which none of us saw. His guard caught him before he fell and the other unveiled his steel sword from their scabbard viewing me as their enemy and not Zian's respected wife. Zian rose his hand to lower his sword immediately.

"How dare you try to turn me out as some crazed woman because your secret has spoiled and now your soft-loving wife who you approached willingly knows that you left her for dead. You," I croaked. The pain in my voice was felt through my chest, my heart overworking itself to beat with what pieces were still left behind. Pain which even he was hesitant to face and narrowed his gaze. "You left me for dead. You manipulated me and tore me from my home to suffer a far worse faith because you can't let me go and ignored my pleads because my problems don't benefit you anymore. Yet you still keep me around? Probably as a reminder of your failures. Now you can't look me in my eyes? Has guilt run you dry?"

Still refusing my gaze. "I'm not guilty."

"And I'm insane."

"You are and that's why you will stay here until you gain some sense — " I sprinted for the door he was closing and failed to fight against his strength. He snatched the keys from the guard and held no remorse as he locked me in. " — and remember that I, your husband who you love and cherish, whom kept you protected, fed, and happy at my grace which I extended, am bonded to you for life. What we share...no other can come in between. And no other can break."

"LET ME OUT! ZIAN! COME BACK!"

No matter the force I used against the cold bars of the cell rusting my palms black, it wouldn't open. Zian ignored my panic pleads that became more desperate than enraged, following along the cell as he walked away. Only my fingers brushed the slightest strand of hair until there was no room for me to move.

I screamed. A deafening, earsplitting, enraging scream that echoed back.

A chilling scream that forced Zian to halt his steps. I couldn't tell whether he was reconsidering his rash decision to lock me up because his back was faced me and it was dim despite a guard holding a lantern. His figure spun.

I rushed off the cell when Zian was standing before me on the other side. His eyes were blood red unable to contain a guilty tear from falling, his chest heaving when pointing his finger at me. "I came back for you," He stated breathlessly. His tears left me stunned, witnessing a face that was unfamiliar to me. I didn't know how to react but continued to glare. "I could have left you for dead and went on about my life as though it never happened, but I risked everything to the extent of almost exposing the plan and my identity and came back because I love you. Whatever your mind is exaggerating, know that my feelings have always been genuine. I do and will always love you, Peizhi. It's the truth. And I want to move past this so that we can restore what we had because I miss us. I miss you. And I don't know what I'll do if I'm alone again. If you decide to leave me alone. Forgive me, please."

As a sign of peace, he slipped his bare hand between the cell. Waiting for me to take his desperate hold.

"Let us live peacefully. Whatever you want you shall have. You have my word."

My hand clamped around my mouth when finally admitting the truth.

Though moved by his vulnerability boosting the side which loves him most and was the slightest tempted by his admission of guilt, I can't fall for it again. I can't trust him. What if his tears are fake? What if he's manipulating me again with words he knew I'd want to hear him say? There's no way I can live peacefully with him if I hadn't before.

"We have never lived peacefully and my trust in you to uphold your word is so little I would trust a hungry wolf over you. I've always wanted to be the bad guy everyone is so keen on me being, but I never knew how much it takes from you to become one. Feeding off your weaknesses until you are nothing but a scared ball of dirt, easily to be stepped on and smeared along the ground like nothing. I was willing to do anything to keep what I have — to keep you. To never become that scared naïve girl who followed blindly behind anyone who was nice enough to care, but now..... I don't even recognize myself. And I lost more than what I have gained. I always thought it was because of me...and yes, I played the part, but it all began because of you, Zian. You are the poison I cannot cure and it has reached my heart, driven me into insane."

His expression contorted in disdain. The tears that have stained his cheeks were nonexistent and Zian lifted his head as though he hadn't just wished for my forgiveness and a brand new harmonious start, a look which even I couldn't read but somehow grew fearful of its outcome. "Then I pray the poison will help you reason or these walls will be the only to keep you comfort." He motioned around before he took his leave and left me to rot in the cold cell.

"ZIAN! COME BACK! I HATE YOU! I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER!"

125.

I have counted the bars which kept me contained. 125. No more. No less.

I pray by now that my family are far from this wretched city. That my sacrifice was worth their safety and more than enough time before Zian discovers they're missing and long gone, finally with peace and content they won't have to look over their shoulders for an enemy I brought into their lives. After some time, I was escorted back to the Fortune of Youth Palace under confinement. Unlike Shūfēi Yiyi, I was able to keep most of my workers but wasn't allowed visitors, not that anyone dared to show up, and guards were patrolling every inch of my palace from the outside makings sure I stayed where Zian wants me.

But the boring day which I had, took a turn of events as Empress Xiuying presented herself at my doorsteps. "Your Majesty," my lips pulled tightly as I stood to greet her though I'd rather sit and get back to my boring day than entertain someone I hate. "My apologies if I'm not prepared for your visit. I wasn't expecting any guests for a while now. Not you especially."

She waved her hand with a humbling smile. "Please, sit. We are family. No need for formal introductions." Empress Xiuying took her seat across from me. Her long braid flipped over her shoulder while pressing her palms against the fur hugging her neck warm. While her style has adjusted to fit our society, traces of her culture even as small as the jewelry made itself known.

Yan Ran stopped herself from pouring Empress Xiuying a warm drink when I shook my head. Though she's a guest, she isn't mine. She doesn't get to drink with me no matter her title. And I'd rather she leave before I do something I won't regret doing. That I'm tempted to do even right now.

"I don't mean to be rash, but is there a purpose for your visit?"

After sending away her attendant and Yan Ran hesitantly taking her leave, Empress Xiuying wasted no time in stalling the moment and began. "I told you before I must do what is right by my people. That because you are still the most favorable woman in the Inner City, being Empress is nothing if His Majesty worries only for you and these last months, distraction clouds his mind because of you." She continued. "We made a deal before, but I offer a new proposition. One that will grant your freedom from this place and allow me to carry on my duties."

My head perked with interest. "You would help me even knowing it's a crime? Why? Why should I trust you won't turn me in?" I questioned.

"We are not sisters, but we are family. I am not your enemy, but I am not your friend either — at least, to you we aren't friends. I know the look of an unhappy woman all too well. There was no one there to help me when I needed the help but now I'm in position of power to offer my hand when needed, and if there's anyone who should live happily between us, I hope it's you." She said. "I have an uncle who is a righteous and good man, who can help settle you a good home on land in your name. It's quite the journey and you will have to travel by sea, but you will be so deep in my country His Majesty won't find you and he never will. He won't expect my involvement and have no right to search my country. You can bring someone if you like, but only one may come of your choosing."

I was left stunned.

There are no words to express the heavy weight of relief flourishing my shoulders or to comprehend why Empress Xiuying's extending her helping hand after what she's done to me. She took my baby from me and almost my life, yet I found no fault in her proposition. She's telling the truth. She wants to help me escape. Offer me the life I've been dreaming of, the life I deserve and finally be at peace with my life. If there is any peace to obtain.

But that escalated feeling soon faltered as a thought came to mind. When her hand ripped from being pressed lightly against her lower abdomen which she had done without realizing after following my confounded gaze. Then I felt numbed. Again.

My bet is on her majesty's. After all, you are the first wife and your son would have had his benefits before the empress whose sole duty is to produce an heir to protect her country.

"Was it you?" I asked finally.

Knowing immediately to which I referred, Empress Xiuying narrowed her gaze. "No." Her tone soft and genuine, but still, guilt coated her tongue.

"But," while standing to my feet. "You know who it was?"

Quiet.

Of course, she knew. It's the only reason behind her silence which meant it was someone close to her, someone worth protecting and least suspecting, and someone who has been giving me the same glare since the moment she arrived. Breathing a shaky breath, a smile forced itself to replace the tears dreading to fall. "So it's her. Your m — "

"She did without my knowledge. What she thought was in my best interest but was for her greed." Empress Xiuying choked on her confession before I could say her name. She broke easier than I expected. "When I found out, it was too late. But it wasn't me. I would never harm a child and I have no bad blood with you. I was just as torn when I heard..."

"And you are now with child...how funny."

She tensed upon the sharp pinch of my hairpin dragging up her arm. "Hurt my baby, our deal is off."

Her baby. A child which she created with a man I love. Who I loved more than anything around the time and the fact that her belly hasn't snugged her fabric yet meant Zian was keeping his bed warm and his cock fed while I grieved the child we created together first. I told him to leave, but I expected more effort in his comfort. Instead, he moved on with his life and left me behind. And that hurts.

And I'm tempted to end her life right here, right now. To watch her bleed out and choke on her blood with fear in her eyes to a future no longer bestowed. How dare Zian gets his happy ending one way or another without me? I want to take everything away from them both. Make them suffer as I had, but if I do that, I may never be granted another opportunity for freedom and I'll be stuck here forever with Zian. Hissing painfully, Empress Xiuying clamped her hand toward the bleeding cut along the right side of her neck. Not too deep but deep enough to scar. A scar which she will remember and others will too as a woman's beauty was most sacred, and when placed in the right spot, her beauty goes along with it.

Empress Xiuying suffered her pain silently. "You didn't say I couldn't hurt you." I continued dragging the tip toward her cheek and pinched deeply. "Should I mark your pretty face too? Compared to what I truly wish to do to you, and trust me, my mind is quite imaginative, this is mercy."

"If you must, I will suffer your — " I cut her cheek. From the center almost touching her ear. Still, she fought through the pain though tears burned her flushed cheeks and blood poured like a river. More blood than I expected.

Leaning down, my lips brushed along her ear where her warm blood has smeared my skin. "I will come for your mother the day she returns home and leave you here to fend for yourself after you've given your Emperor an heir, and you will not stop me. She will suffer far worse than a scar and I will make sure her screams have been heard until she is nothing but a beating flesh begging me for mercy she won't receive." She trembled at my words because she knew there was no hope for her mother and whomever else I choose to go after next if I'm not satisfied with just her and I'm not. I want Empress Xiuying too, but she's my only ticket out. "Warn her for me. Or don't. A surprise is good but being scared of the unknown is better."

"I-I-I will," breath shaky and stood quickly with her gaze refusing mine. Her palm was full of blood which stained her dress. Even spotted droplets between her feet. "And I will prepare the arrangements. You will hear from me soon."

••••••

A/N

I grew impatient. After talking to everyone, they agreed to post the 3 chapters now (3rd one needs to be re read because I changed something last minute so expect it this week). Sorry if I had y'all waiting, but I needed time on my on time to finish this book anddddd I DID!!!! Definitely had some drinks with friends LMAOO. But I'm heavily editing  these last few chapters because I breezed through them to get words and the idea out, so it might take a lil minute for another update. But the book is there and I can't wait to mark it as completed and move the fuck on. There are some really good future books I've been planning on publishing soon