••••••

"She is not your friend."

Zhao Ji spoke in the air as we walked together heading for Grand Empress Dowager's palace upon Défēi Wang Xu's invitation. As the first of Zian's harem, it was important I don't miss my first meeting or upset the Grand Empress Dowager. Being a part of this world meant I must be a part of every little thing that happens within and without.

Assuming she was speaking of Shūfēi Yiyi, I replied, "I know."

"The both of them."

I was quiet, which I knew wasn't going to stop Zhao Ji from expressing her opinion honestly. And I expected nothing less of her.

"Anyone can tell they are just being nice to you to save their ass since you are the most favorable woman in the Inner City." When speaking of both consorts, she kept her voice lowered so Yan Ran wouldn't hear Zhao Ji's bold opinion, though she stood back as requested. "Once you are nothing, they will not hesitate to turn their backs on you. It is a known fact. I suggest you keep your enemies closer. Utilize their power and find their triggers. Finding their weaknesses is key to stability for both you and your child."

"Isn't Zian enough?" I understood what Zhao Ji told me, but I was genuinely curious about other options to use from.

She gave me a look from the corner of her eyes, which was enough to answer my question. "Men...can be men which is never enough. Depending on a man to save you is your biggest mistake that will kill you faster than you have lived. And Zian — His Majesty..." She trailed to find the words to described Zian without offending anyone. Me, personally. "...he can be a different person to those he doesn't need, and even different to those who do."

Lienna has also said something similar about Zian. She described him as a man of steel, and often a difficult person to read as he was cold to everyone compared to me. And she specifically told me Zian was loyal to those who are loyal to him. It also wasn't the first time Zhao Ji has said similar words about him. It seems Zian isn't a through person. At least, which with me he wasn't.

I stopped in my steps and faced Zhao Ji with a question ready to be asked. "What do you mean by that?"

She chose now to keep her mouth shut.

"I wasn't asking as a friend," I made clear. "I want to know the kind of man everyone sees that I don't."

She gave me a long stare before she agreed, having no choice but to. "The truth?"

"Yes."

"His majesty is the scariest man I have ever met in my entire life. Just being in his presence alone shivers me into fear, but he is a ruler I will admit. A natural-born. And I believe he will leave his print bigger than his father's or any king that has ruled."

"Zhao Ji," I dragged, looking levelly at her. I can tell my stare has made her nervous, though she masked it well. "Do you know something about Zian that I don't?"

She stared.

I stared.

She waited.

I waited with her.

And I watch as the corner of her lip curled upwards. She ran a hand down her neck as she broke my contact. "I only know what I'm told, which isn't as much as you know." She replied simply, but simply wasn't enough for me.

But instead of addressing it or sinking my brain into an endless think-train, a figure over Zhao Ji's shoulder caught my eye. I was already pushing past Zhao Ji with Yan Ran leading me towards the person I had been looking for all this time.

"Shūfēi Yiyi," I called out with a small wave.

It was already too late for her to ignore me or continue walking as if she never saw me, so she stood put and greeted me with a bow. "Guìfēi Pearl, what brings you here to my palace?" She asked with a strained smile.

My lips pulled into a pout. "Don't you remember? We were to walk to Grand Empress Dowager's palace together. You do know the way, right?"

"I do."

"Great." I motioned the path ahead of us. "Lead the way."

With a pressing smile still pasted on her face, she gave a nod and continued to lead the way, her attendant gave a look that was shared with Shūfēi Yiyi. We walked in silence the majority of the journey since there wasn't much to say and I knew my presence agitated Shūfēi Yiyi enough. The heat wasn't as bad today but it didn't stop the sweat from dripping down my neck, especially since I wore my hair down mostly.

Shūfēi Yiyi took note of those who followed behind us and formed a question to kill the long silence. "I see you don't travel with many people as I do. Why is that?" She asked. I hadn't noticed until now that her number of maids was multiplied as opposed to mines who traveled with only my attendant, Zhao Ji and another maid to hide Zhao Ji's cover.

"It's suffocating," I replied honestly. "Is it not the same for you?"

"I never thought much of it since it is something I am used to, but I see how it can be for you." She very much hinted I wasn't of this world, which I knew already. "You have a lot to learn, and if I was carrying a royal child, first of His Majesty's harem, I would allow the whole military to accompany my walks even if I were to take three steps outside my palace, regardless if it made me uncomfortable or not. However, I am not you as you are not me."

I was quiet as I thought on Shūfēi Yiyi's advice. I never thought of it that way because when I think of Zian, my first thought is the son of Xiaomeng household which I married, not Li Jun Xu the Emperor. I never thought of the fact that the child I carry will become the first royal child to be born in the Inner City since the Blood War, first of Zian's harem and shared bloodline, and first to be born from a mother of mixed African origin. This child and I weren't safe here, surrounded by Zian's faceless enemies and those who believed I have tainted the royal history because of my black skin and poor background. They all have a reason to kill me and my unborn child, and that made me even hungrier for power now that I have something to protect. Even more than myself.

I refuse to allow my child to suffer as I had, and I will give them the world even if it means I must peel it off my back. They will have it all.

Our journey was cut short after reaching Grand Empress Dowager's Palace. There were a lot more workers present, most taking care of the small garden filling the open space of her courtyard, greeted by a eunuch who led us to a room where Grand Empress Dowager currently reside in the center chair, leaned over whispering into her attendant's ear who then pulled back with an acknowledging nod before noticing our entrance.

"Grand Empress Dowager," We greeted in union, learning from my past mistake to not add any more than needed to be.

Her eyes lit up with excitement upon our arrival. "And I almost believed you weren't coming, or you got lost along the way." She gave a light chuckle that I joined into knowing she was speaking directly to me.

"I would have been lost if it wasn't for Shūfēi Yiyi allowing me to follow behind. Thank you, again. Your kindness will be remembered."

Shūfēi Yiyi brushed off my compliments with a graceful bow, already putting on a show in front of Grand Empress Dowager. "The honor is all mines." She wasn't all this happy when it was just her and I. I gave her a silly look her attendant caught and quickly avoided my gaze.

"Well, I am glad you are both here, now we can discuss important matters. Please, sit and make yourselves comfortable." She motioned around the room with a cheerful look in her eyes.

The few other seats located on the sides of Grand Empress Dowager in front of her are filled with Jingfei, Défēi Wang Xu, and another woman I didn't recognize but she was beautiful and young. She resembled Défēi Wang Xu with her round puppy-like eyes and small ears.

I took my seat quickly next to Jingfei already being served warm treats and something to wash it down with.

"I'm glad you're here to save me." Under her breath, Jingfei made the comment.

"It's me who needs the saving."

Grand Empress Dowager's voice quiet down the soft chuckle Jingfei and I shared as she continued to speak on the important matter that's to be discussed. But then I heard a name breeze softly in the sentence as the main subject, and my smile had faltered. I could feel Yan Ran's cornered stare, her head lowered but it was clear she was trying to figure out my current emotions, cautiously watching my fingers smush the soft cake before shoving it into my mouth.

Défēi Wang Xu is the first to speak up after Grand Empress Dowager finished. "When does she arrive?" Excited of the news, she asked.

She. Now I am to recognize her as she. A woman. A person. A human just as I. She.

"Zhendao is far beyond our borders, she surely won't arrive in Changqiu in weeks to a month or more." Shūfēi Yiyi informed.

Grand Empress Dowager offered a graceful smile. " which is more than enough time to prepare,"

"Prepare?" The silent word lingered their attention before I had enough time to cover my disinterest with a small smile. "What exactly do we prepare for?" I quickly added to save myself.

"For the arrival of the 4th princess of Zhendao," answered Grand Empress Dowager calmly. "As part of the Inner City, it's our job to prepare these kinds of things since the Emperor is too busy to handle such matters. It helps take the load off his shoulders and gives us something to do. And because the 4th princess of Zhendao is no ordinary woman, our preparations must be thoroughly well planned. You understand?"

"Yes"

"Great. Is there anyone who would like to take the lead?"

No one spoke a word as her gaze swept the room, waiting for an eager volunteer. No one dared to be the first to volunteer but was afraid to be the last to say nothing especially when the Grand Empress Dowager is asking for help. I would rather be last, I don't care. I have no intentions of taking on a big responsibility nor did I know how to plan for events never having to do it my whole life.

"I believe," while adjusting herself in her seat, noticeably refusing to look in my direction besides the one second I caught her. That one second was able to prepare me for what Shūfēi Yiyi was to say next. "Guìfēi Pearl should take lead. Though it may seem like a big responsibility, it can be a good challenge for her as she is new here and she and the 4th princess of Zhendao will become sisters. She may even be highly praised by His Majesty himself."

My teeth released from my bottom lip and sent a knowing smile to Grand Empress Dowager when she looked my way, considering Shūfēi Yiyi's idea.

"Isn't that too much for her to handle?" It was almost as if Jingfei was my light, my breath of air. I would hug her if we weren't in the presence of the women of the Inner City, and if it was allowed with our titles. I believe? "Both Guìfēi Pearl and I are new to the Inner City. And because the 4th princess of Zhendao is an important guest, I don't think it's fair for her to take on such a responsibility. What if it doesn't go as planned? Then she is forced to pay for any mistakes and it would make His Majesty and her look bad."

She sent me a we're-in-this-together nod. I was happy to have her here with me. I don't think I would be able to make it out alive or keep up with my act without her familiar presence.

"Fair?" She questioned Jingfei's statement. "It is only a small challenge that I'm sure she can take on. Not only will it show how involved she is, but it will also show she is welcoming the 4th princess of Zhendao into her home."

Darting in my direction, her lips quirked.

That sly bitch. I should've expected it, but now I am more sure there is a spy in my palace who is most likely working for her. She knew of my pregnancy, and now she knows the bitterness the 4th princess of Zhendao left on my tongue. And if I don't say something now, then I will be stuck with her.

I took in a nervous breath, allowing myself to become the person people want me to be and the words flew out.

"It's kind of you to appoint me for this task, Shūfēi Yiyi. It shows how much you believe in me." Of course, she knew what was coming next as I turned to the Grand Empress Dowager and spoke to her directly while I was still speaking of Shūfēi Yiyi. "But I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to your words as Princess Jing stated, we are new to the Inner City and I won't be able to live with myself messing it all up. I believe you — " I have found Shūfēi Yiyi's glowered gaze " — should take responsibility so I may seek guidance and learn in your shadow so that I have the strength to take on the next. Please rethink my request."

I eased out a calm breath, fitting my chest in my hand but made it look as if I were fixing my dress. My heart thudded loudly.

Giving thought to both our suggestions, Grand Empress Dowager then motioned her hand. "Very well. Shūfēi Yiyi will take lead and both Princess Jing and Guìfēi Pearl will shadow and learn well." She announced.

Shūfēi Yiyi bit hard on her bottom lip until it was flushed red.

I smiled towards Shūfēi Yiyi as if my head was clear of everything. "Thank you, Grand Empress Dowager, I will learn well."

The meeting didn't take as long as I thought it would. After discussing a few more matters about the arrival of the 4th Princess of Zhendao, we were able to socialize and enjoy the sweets Grand Empress Dowager prepared for us. I found out a lot of things including the other woman within the room was in fact Défēi Wang Xu's daughter who came to butter up the Grand Empress Dowager into allowing her to travel somewhere in the country when spring came around. We didn't talk much and I got the feeling she wasn't fond of me as many of them weren't, but they were good at hiding it, so I left early to take a nap. Jingfei left to join me and offered to accompany her around the Inner City.

"I kind of miss MeiHua," She said while brushing her fingers through the ends of her hair. Both our attendants followed behind, giving us enough space to chat privately with one another. And I listened quietly while holding my lower abdomen. "Besides everything else, it was the only true place I had to call home. But I miss playing for people and being praised for it. It was nice. The attention, I mean. And the different kinds of people I would meet daily, and able to be my own person in peace. What about you?"

"You and I had a very different experience. All the things you loved, I hated. Especially the people."

She gave a nervous chuckle, ashamed she had asked such a question because she forgot how different our lives both were until the memory came back to her. "Right, sorry. I should've thought about that before I asked." Her hands rubbed together.

I waved off her apology. "It's fine." A short second later I thought of an unanswered memory. "Do you remember the night I overheard those women speaking about drugging Lord Hou and I came to report it to you? You told me you would tell Madam Xuan immediately. What happened with that? Did you ever tell her?"

"There was nothing to tell. She knew all about it," Jingfei answered, unfazed the truth was a shock to me.

My head jerked back in confusion. "Did you know?"

"No." A beat later. "Well, not exactly. I suspected something was up since on certain occasions incidence like these were common and I would just keep my head lowered unless I was needed. Different from others, I was told Lord Hou was taken to a secret hideout to meet with a powerful man to open his borders to him. Everything else is such a blur. But you know...."

I began to drown out her voice while brushing my hand along the bridge we were crossing over. I don't know Lord Hou personally so I could care less about what had happened to him, I was only curious since it was a weird night and everyone acted as if it was normal. Also, my exposed identity was on the line. My eyes wandered around our surroundings taking in the view of maids and eunuchs making their daily rounds to where they are needed, and  the guards patrolling the perimeter or in small groups speaking lowly amongst one another until we passed by.

Suddenly, my feet stopped itself in its path.

Straight ahead, there is a eunuch who has caught my eye. He was carrying a tray of folded cloths navigating through the crowds and the puzzling corners as if he had a map taped to the back of his head. What was even more unexplained — he wore a familiar face I knew.

"Mo Lian Tan?"

Jingfei stopped when she saw I was no longer at her side, questioning if I had said something to her, only have yelled out to me as I walked past her. "Where are you going? Do you even know where we are?" She shouted but I was already too far for her to catch up with me.

Yan Ran ended her short conversation with Jingfei's attendant when she saw I was doing as I did before, running away. "Your Highness, wait for me!" She exclaimed.

I wasn't as far that Yan Ran couldn't have kept up. She was already at my side but it was hard for her to know which direction I was heading in and often lost her footing. I ignored her questions asking me where I would like to go and since she knew the city well, she could take me there quicker. I lifted my dress and hurried down the wide stairs and into another corner where I believe I last saw him.

Up ahead – I spotted his figure pacing along the sides of the giant-built walls when others of higher status passed him. It was then, when he turned sideways to greet the individual with his eyes locked to the ground, I was sure it was him. Mo Lian Tan. His short hair was scraped up into a bun though small pieces hung out, his beard still in contact but has been recently shaved, and he looked even better than the last I saw of him. My heart pulse and my hands grew sweaty just looking at him from afar.

The last time I saw Mo Lian Tan was a few days after meeting with No Name. We sat together at the Round Blue Lake, where we ate a warm meal before he told me he was going to leave the city for some time and he wasn't sure how long until he would be back. Upon No Name's demands, to give us what we wanted, Mo Lian Tan had to do something for him first. I never asked what it was, but only when he would return. Of course, he accused me of missing him and to not miss him too much since he was capable of protecting himself, and made me promise him I wouldn't go around killing men. And another promise that I kept.

I could feel his hand vividly brushed along mines and the warm color filling my cheeks as he met my gaze under the clear moon. The violent shiver running through my chest down to my toes as he continued to study my face.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" My voice grew dry. Clearing it made it no better. Swallowing too.

I could tell there was something he had wished to tell me, I could even see the words moving on his lips. But he washed away the thought with a grin and narrowed his gaze. "Will you wait for me?" He suddenly asked.

"For your return?"

A slight pause. "Sure. For my return."

"I will wait — " his smile broaden. " — But don't you think it's because I will miss you, because I will not. And I do not miss you. You and I have a common enemy, and I need you so we can take him down."

"Promise me then,"

I glanced down at his pinky held out in front of me and then back to him. He couldn't be serious? We have already agreed to work together and now he wants me to promise him that we will and I will wait for his return? He must think he is so special especially because I need him, but if it will get me what I want, then I will make that promise.

"Fine," Our pinky's connected. "I promise."

"...that you will miss me too?"

I pulled my hand with a disgusted 'ew.' "I will take back my promise." I threatened.

But now that he was here, in the Inner City, the most secluded place no one could enter, here before my very gaze, brought up more questions that needed answers. Why is he here? What business does he have in the Inner City? How did he get inside?

I continued to follow his tall figure from afar after I had lost him for a slight second in another crowd of eunuchs, before a voice deeper than a well had scared me from behind. "Why are you alone, unattended?" I spun to face the voice with a gasp, recognizing the man to be the one who stood at Zian's side in the throne room. He was dressed well for his title, his dark hair pulled into a bun clamped with a golden piece, and he stood before me with his hands below his back and his head titled.

There was no way he magically showed up since the pathway we stood upon grew long, meaning I had passed him without knowing it.

In response to his presence, my feet shuffled a few steps backward, until Yan Ran had caught up with me and bowed towards the man in the midst of expressing her distress with me running away. "Prince Son," She greeted immediately.

Prince Son. 2nd prince, Ming Son, Zian's brother. Shufei Yiyi's only son.

I bowed quickly to greet him.

"Rise," Yan Ran rushed quickly to my side with her head down, daring to make no contact with the prince. I could feel his intense stare even when glancing over his shoulder and allowed myself to react when Mo Lian Tan was no longer in sight. I lost him. "Are you lost?" He had followed my reaction to nothing but a clear path of guards patrolling.

"No," then I took in my surroundings. The symmetric walls made me dizzy I had to close my eyes for a few moments to keep myself from throwing up. "Maybe a little, but I can find my way back. My attendant knows the way. Yan Ran let's — "

"Walk with me, I shall lead you back." It didn't sound much of a choice and he was already walking in the opposite direction I was heading towards, so if I declined he wouldn't have heard me.

I took one last glance before I caught up with Prince Son. He slowed down his legs so that we were beside one another. Yan Ran stood back, but she was much closer in case I ran off again without warning.

We both walked in silence until it was broken when Prince Son made a random comment, "You are an interesting woman." Both Yan Ran and I shot him a stare. She lowered her head before Prince Son caught it, but I continued my stare. "I am trying to seek what about you makes you so special that my brother, the Emperor, chose to fight on your behalf. What is it about women that can control a man in ways others can't understand?"

"I don't get what you mean."

"The 6 ministries, 5 out of 1, doesn't agree with your status. They believe you have tainted the pure history of the Guìfēi title, a curse to His Majesty's harem and will lead him to an early death. But he is set on his plans with you, and they dare to not fight back. At least, publicly after what happened the day before my brother's coronation. Would you like to know what happened?"

I don't get why he's telling this to me. Was he searching for a reaction? Was he trying to scare me away? I don't understand and I do not understand him. Being oddly ...odd must run in the family. Zian, Jingfei, and now Prince Son. I just hope my child doesn't attract the trait. My hair will be snatched from my scalp.

I took in a deep, calm breath. "Sure."

"Your Emperor raided the city with an army of his owns and demanded our uncle to step down as he is the rightful king with our father's Royal Imperial edict. He has beheaded and slaughtered many men on the grounds we walk upon. Those who did not follow his lead, those who were against him, and those whose generations have served the crown for decades. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed the dark stains of blood as you entered the throne room. It was the bloodiest as well as the steps. I'm sure it is still there now."

He stared at me as he spoke of Zian's doings as if he was waiting for me to run off or accuse him of lying. And when I didn't give him the reaction he wanted out of me, he would continue to detail his story and failed miserably. Maybe something was wrong with me since I felt nothing towards hearing this about Zian. Whether he slaughtered innocent people or those who deserved it, I felt empty inside. We are all not saints, Mo Lian Tan told me. We all do bad things out of desperation or revenge or just cause. I knew what I was getting myself into beforehand when I married a man who had served in the military. As well as my brother who served the crown. Li Wei told me most people he killed, he was sure they were innocent men dressed in the enemy's clothing laced in fear. Besides, what Zian had done has nothing to do with me. From his story, these people were traders and they deserved it.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why not? You're a great listener."

I am because I don't know what else to say. But everything he's said about Zian and the tone he used when speaking of him created an assumption unable to be kept to itself.

"Do you despise His Majesty?"

When I asked him the harmless question, he looked at me as if I had uncovered something he was trying to hide or as if he was offended I would ever assume that. But can he blame me? Just as all his siblings I've met, they are confusing.

Prince Son sucked in a harsh breath. "That is a bold accusation, do you dare pay for its crimes?"

Yan Ran grabbed at my arm, hinting what I said was out of line. So I apologized. "I shouldn't have asked that, I apologize." Genuinely, I did.

"No, you shouldn't have, but you did." We stopped once we had reached a pathway that led straight towards my palace. I peeked back and then forward, slightly surprised we reached here faster than I thought. Note; I must get use to navigating around the Inner City. It could come in handy one day. "But, it looks like our time is up. Your company was swell."

"Of course. Thank you again."

He shrugged as a response and left.

Yan Ran rushed up to my side, exhaling a large proportion of air she held in. "Your Highness, you must watch what you say to Prince Son or he will put you on his list." She warned

"List?"

"There is a rumor Prince Son has a list of all the names that have cursed his name or treated him wrongly. Awhen the time came, the people that are on his list would sometimes disappear or end up in a deadly situation. His teacher, for example, said he was the worse in his studies and was failing. Then the next day, his hands were missing. His servants mistakenly misplaced his favorite toy when he was five. He then switched their morning drinks with a toxic poison. They were bedridden for months!"

"Guìfēi Pearl," Yan Ran jumped back at Prince Son's voice calling for my attention. We both thought he was gone, but he was a lot closer. Close enough to have possibly heard Yan Ran's gossip.  And if he did, he didn't show it. "Your Emperor has installed fear upon making his mark in the court. People with fear are the most dangerous, even I am not safe for you, now that I know where you lie in his heart. So you should think twice about running off unattended."

"What is your opinion on all of this?" I blurted. "Do you think I have tainted the title of Guìfēi as well? Am I a threat to His Majesty?"

He simply shrugged. "Maybe. But it makes it a lot easier for me." With a small smile inching on his lips, "Get home safely."

He was gone for good.

My head cocked slightly at Prince Son's fading figure, ignoring Yan Ran's panic for gossiping behind his back. She feared her name was written on his list. "He is so strange. And I can't tell whether he hates his brother or likes him, and or if he wishes me well or is threatening me." To myself, I said.

••••••

This chapter felt like nothing. But many things that happened are very important to the story. But the next chapter is WILD yall. Or it's the one after? IDK ! But I'm editing it and wrapping up some things so it should be out soon

But Mo Lian Tan back! What for? Mmm