I heard nothing after last night. No gossip. No rumors. Nothing. The last I heard was Lord Huo retiring early while his brother had a tremendous night being catered to by beautiful women. Nothing more, nothing less. It was as if everyone suddenly forgotten the large event held last night. Another thing that worried me, Jingfei didn't return as she said she would. I did what I must for my personal benefits that could harm her in the process, yet I placed myself first.

Giving the heated situation, I needed to think of myself first. I should always since caring for another leads me to trouble, but her long absence killed me inside no matter how hard I tried to turn off that switch to care. I was wrong, yet it was necessary.

"Have you heard of anything?" Wanue looks up with a brow risen. Both her arms wet from the warm water poured into the round container we use to clean the dishes that were used last night. Even with her sleeves rolled up, they still got wet. "About last night? Is there any new gossip or something?"

She thinks of her answer, recalling the event last night and replied, "I heard Lord Huo left early, leaving his brother who is currently still here. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. They have been the talk of all night so it's natural anyone would want an update."     

She only nods, understanding.

The same thing I heard another girl say. However, she said he retired early while Wanue says he left early so which is true? Could Lord Huo be the one who both girls were targeting? If this attack deeply involved Lord Huo then that means it was bigger than I thought it was and Jingfei could be in a lot of trouble because of me.

My thoughts abruptly pulled away at the glisten of something long and sharp being dropped into the bowl of water. Wanue gasped at the moment, and it took my brain a few seconds to realize that the glisten was a knife — a butcher knife. Before the blade touches my fingers, I'm quick to pull them out the water just in time the knife splashes in.

I could feel the rapid thudding of my heart through the tips of the fingers I almost lost if I was any second late. My brain still barely processing what just happened only feeling more than relieved knowing my fingers are safe.

"You almost cut me!" I exclaimed.

As Wanue inspects both my hands, Su Tan appears from behind with her arms held below her back. Her eyes held no remorse for what she just did. "Luckily, you moved in time." She turned on her heels to walk away.

My jaw clenched tightly as slow forced breaths ease from my lungs in hope of calming myself from doing something I'd regret. Did she think this was some kind of joke we'd laugh off together over tea and fresh mooncakes? She could've ruined my life in seconds and all I got was 'luckily, you moved?' Her main intention was to harm me. It was the look in her eyes, that same look I saw when I first arrived — the look of a true-born killer. Su Tan never hesitate her actions.

"Hey," She turned around as I stood to my feet. I took a step forward ready to give my speech, to throw a hand, to react and show her how angry she's made me, but I stopped myself. I can't cause any trouble. I can't gain any more attention than I have now, and I can't be thrown out to the streets. Defeated unfairly, I slump down in my spot. "Never mind." Mumbling low enough for her to still hear me.

Sizing down my frame with a sly smile, she continues straight into the kitchens.

Bitch.

My fist balled tightly. My nails pressing into the palms of my hands now hearing Wanue's voice pushing its way through my ears.

"You let her go just like that? You could've lost your hand! You would have no life without hands. You should report this to Head Feng or your resident advisor."

I don't respond. I'm thinking. I'm still in shock to see my hand attached to my limb. I'm angry and frustrated with myself that I must be the bigger person if I want to last long enough in my bed, but not enough to survive. If she was bold enough to cut me and ruin my life, then she's bold enough to do worse and I must consider her an enemy I must defeat. However, Su Tan's a lovable person shielded around that nasty facade she deceives others to believe, and someone who's loved compared to someone who's not, I act can't too irrational or it'd be me suffering again..

"I'm not letting her go," I tell Wanue. "I'm giving myself time."

Her brows furrowed. "Time? For what?"

My lip pulled between my teeth and I bite hard with thought. "To win."

She gave me the same expression Li Wei gave me before I left home. Her eyes anxious, a questionable tilt of her head yet she smiles. Small but not forced.

While drying the wet dishes off with a dry cloth to place in the pantry for later usage, Zhao Ji's figure is seen passing by behind a few girls. I thought she'd look in my direction and lure me to follow her as before but she continued straight as if I was invisible. At least she kept her promise.

I rushed off my feet in the direction Zhao Ji went after letting Wanue know where I was going. She promised to finish the rest so Head Feng wouldn't notice my slight absence and I promised to pay her back while I tiptoed past the busy kitchen and off to wherever Zhao Ji went.

A man delivering a basket of fresh apples passes by as the back of Zhao Ji's frame turns another corner. I called out her name in a whisper hoping she'd hear me but she doesn't turn at my voice. Was this a trick she's playing? I picked up my speed to reach her but as I turned the corner as she did — she was gone. Vanished like a ghost with no trail left behind.

"Where did she go?" I checked around the area in hopes she'd pop out somewhere trying to scare me but failed to find her. She was just here yet she disappeared before my eyes. She shouldn't have gotten far but I don't know how far she went or where to start looking.

A door behind me opens only to be filled with disappointment when two girls who weren't Zhao Ji exited with rolls of fabrics curled in their arms. The two paid no mind to me as their span of attention was being intrigued with the daily gossip.

I waited a bit longer for Zhao Ji to appear wanting to run off her ears about Su Tan but she has yet shown herself so I was beginning to think she had no intentions of meeting me in the first place and was meeting with someone else.

I start to head back to the kitchen before Head Feng notices but stopped when Jingfei's name airs through one of the girl's lips.

"...Sister Jingfei promised to help me with that after she rests for a bit. She's been out all night so I won't bother her much today." The one with braided hair said.

Jingfei? The one I know? She has returned safely?

"Did you say Jingfei is resting in bed?" The words already out my lips. Both girls turned to see who joined into their conversation uninvited. "Jí Jingfei?"

One looks to her friend hesitantly. "Yes...you share a room with her..."

Giving no moment of delay, I rushed off to meet Jingfei in bed with the covers over her head. Amongst entering with force, she sat up with her hand against her chest ready to come up with an excuse if I was Lady Ting Yu but is staring at me in confusion when seeing it wasn't. Her eyes were slightly dazed and her hair a mess. Bai Han Zhi was as well here, sitting on her bed chatting until I entered and quickly got up to leave. I don't stop her.

Jingfei yawned. "What is your problem? Could've scared the whole house awake and me in the process of it." She attempts to lie back down until I began to speak and sat right back up.

"I thought something happened to you since you didn't come back right after." It was the truth. I was worried the information I told her had gotten her killed, but here she was in bed resting as if nothing happened too. "Did you tell Madam Xuan?"

There's a slight pause. "Of course."

"What did she say?"

"She will look into it."

"Why didn't you return?" Afterthought, I asked.

"I was occupied with guests." She replied quickly after and began making herself comfortable in bed. "If you don't mind, I'm tired and I would like to rest for a bit."

I let her sleep. I'm glad Madam Xuan now knows of the problem but I fear Jingfei's mind could travel back to the thought of my identity and this wasn't enough to conceal her. I must think of something soon but for now, I'll let her sleep.

The sound of my fake name was called while closing the door behind me. I assumed it to be Zhao Ji, frowning as I turned to the voice who wasn't Zhao Ji at all but one of the kitchen girls I never spoke to.

"Oh, Huang Fei, there you are!" She rushes over with a basket of fresh red apples, the same I saw the man bring in. Her hair braided down her back with a cheap pin bringing out her round eyes. "Head Feng wants you to deliver these to the West Wing."

"W-west Wing?"

She nodded. "A guest requested a basket of apples for when he returns, and I was told to give these to you to deliver."

"But I'm not allowed there — Head Feng should know this too. Can't you take it?"

"You dare to disobey?" Raising her brows, she questioned.

I couldn't disobey even if I dreaded to. This was a direct order from Head Feng so I had no choice but to comply if it means I can stir away from her bad side. However, though she found pleasure turning me into a laughing stock I found it odd she'd as well risk herself getting in trouble by letting me into restricted areas I wasn't allowed in. Judging by their last meet-up, she heeded carefully to not get on Madam Xuan's bad side. So why was it now different?

Nevertheless, I was in no position to refuse.

While Sighing, "No — "

"Okay thanks!" She shoved the heavy basket into my arms.

I begin making my way towards the West Wing already meeting countless beautiful women along my journey. A woman on my left, while gazing around the area like an eager child and through a cracked open window, is lying on the bed propped on her hand with a sheer robe brushing against her pink nipples. Behind her, another woman is sitting behind with grapes in her mouth as the man sitting in front of them both paints their figure. When the girl lying down catches my gaze with a smirk on her lips, I snatched my head away and continued straight. Loud moans erupt from another room and a few ladies passed me giggling from stories they told each other.

It was so beautiful and free-spirited here and all they did was have fun with one another. I could see why many women go out their way to gain Madam Xuan's attention. If this was my life before, I would've done the same.

You dare to disobey?

I wish I really could. Each step that was taken felt like a thousand knives sinking into the soles of my feet. The weight of the apples took a toll on the palms of my hands as my grip on the straw-like material became much tighter. I didn't feel like myself.

You know you're not allowed in here Peizhi. You should turn back now.

My inner thoughts created illusions of all the things that could go wrong with my visit. What if someone recognizes me? What if I ran into Madam Xuan? Why is the heart that dares to betray me beat and pumps so loud that it could be heard from the mountain tops. I put a hand over my heart to calm my nerves. Deep breaths Peizhi.

The West Wing consisted of white and pink decorative strings that hung high from the ceiling. The traditional designs of the building was much like the East wing when I first arrived but consumed its own character of design. Yet something was strange. It was lifeless. Not one soul is seen nor heard. The uneasiness rose in my stomach as I held the apple basket closer to my chest.

"Apples for the West Wing... please collect your order."

The sing song manner in my voice hides my nervous demeanor. I almost forgot that I was beyond shaken up. I took a deep breath and smiled while scoping the place out, gliding across the room to find some form of life. The staircase that leads to the upper floors catches my eyes.

My footsteps echoed against the flooring of the stairs and small patters were sounded on each step. My hitched deep breaths were evidently heard through my smile but I kept my composure. After all; these were Head Fengs' direct orders.

"Hello? Order for the West Wing!" The apples became burdensome in my hands. Once I reached the top of the steps I searched for a room with any bit of life, repeating the same lines from the beginning. Empty room after empty room. My legs were moving faster than I could acknowledge and I soon realize that everyone was gone.

The last room I visited looked very worn out. The twin-sized bed was pushed against the wall with messy dirty sheets strolled across it. There was a round table in the middle of the room, taking up more space than it should, and the only stream of light that came from the room was from the outside. There were no windows.

I waved one of my hands in front of my face fanning the air. The room had tiny fragments of dust floating in the air and it was a no-brainer that this room was neglected of a great cleaning. The spiders and their uniquely shaped webs have made their home in various corners collecting the prey that dare to challenge them. I coughed a bit while fully entering the small room. This was nothing like how I imagined visiting the West Wing.

I was consumed by my own thoughts. It was dimly lit so I searched a bit more around the room for someone. It's impossible for EVERYONE to be out. And If everyone was gone for the evening why was I sent to deliver the order? Don't they know Apples can spoil within hours without the proper care? Nothing made sense.

You dare to disobey?

Those words haunted my mind once again and my thoughts of an investigation depleted as I set the basket down on the table carefully. It wobbled from the impact and my arms instantly flung out ready to catch and protect any fallen apples. "No!" The legs teetered and shook but soon held its sturdiness. I backed away slowly while bringing my arms to my side, keeping my eyes ingrained on the table. I let out the breath I was holding and relaxed my shoulders a bit.

Whew.

Mission Complete.

See it was all in your head Peizhi. You had nothing to worry about from the beginning. Turning around in triumph, I laced my fingers together and smile to myself, walking towards the exit but before I could process my next thought, the door slammed shut causing the dust of the room to violently swarm around me. I covered my mouth and nose with my forearm and sprinted for the door, pushing open the door. It was locked.

"Hello?! I'm not an intruder! Please let me out!" My panicked voice became more desperate and I slammed my fist against the door repeatedly to get their attention. "I just have the apples yo — " Before I could finish my sentence a rupture of laughter is heard behind the door.

"Give it up already." The woman behind the door lets out another laugh. Her words were a bit hard for me to hear so I pressed my ear against the door smudging the side of my face in the process. "Who knew a girl from Quying could be so gullible? I never thought she'd believe it as quick as she did." A small gasp left my lips as the realization filled my eyes. I could feel her daring evil glare through the door.

Su Tan.

She reverted her conversation towards whomever she was with. "What a delightful show? She never disappoints." Her grin was so wide because of her success, I could feel it.

"This isn't funny Su Tan! Let me out immediately!" I raised my voice toward the door feeling my face become hot. I was angry, boiling with the deepest hatred for Su Tan. The woman that is always out to get me. The woman that showed no empathy of almost chopping my finger clean off. She disgusted me.

She came closer to the door and tapped her fingertips one by one in a mocking way. "I'm sorry what did you say? I can't hear you clearly, you must speak up!" The atmosphere grew quiet and my sniffles had relished to Su Tan.

"You think you're suffering.." she began. The tears on my face stung because I was giving her what she wanted. Her fist hit the door abruptly startling me away, I backed away quickly only to run into the table causing me to soar back into the ground along with the basket of apples. They were scattered along my body and I lay spread out on my back.

"You haven't suffered enough!" Her voice boomed and echoed. "Do you think you can take my spot along Madam Xuan's side and take the promotion that has failed to come my way since you've arrived? To take everything I have worked so hard for? If it's fear that lingers for me then hold onto it because this is only the beginning. I will make your life a living hell each day your presence is near — might as well take the path below."

My back ached but I don't move. I'm drowned with tears and my cries were silent no more. "Please...Su Tan don't do this." She continued to ignore me. "Su Tan open the door! I can't breathe in here!" I managed to croak out, my throat tickling. Su tan continued to talk among her peers and I was once again. Helpless.

A woman spoke up in a familiar voice. "You're not... leaving her to die, right?" her tone is hesitant and nervous.

Su tan lets out a taunting laugh. "Don't worry about her, getting her was here was enough, okay? The girls moved their things closer to the city for the big event. They could be gone for.. maybe a few days...weeks. And with the conditions of the room, she's lucky to survive the night." Their footsteps were now heading away from the door, their voices faint to my ears.

I can't give up like this. My mother wouldn't approve of me lying here with tears without putting up some kind of fight. "Su Tan. SU TAN!" My body scrambled from the floor but before I could reach the door, my body flung forward causing great pain in my chest. I tripped over the mess of apples.

Instead of trying my fate again, I was weak.

Battered.

Bruised.

And Helpless.

I settled in my own defeat. The tears that streamed down my face stained my cheeks. I let out one last thing before soaking in my tears on the floor.

"Please don't leave me here."

••••••

I can't believe it's been a month I'm so sorryy 😁❤️ been really busy recently and that unmotivated phrase came thru but I'm soooooo thankful for my best friend that I love sooo much! She helped me with this chapter and got me out of the phase a bit. She also started a wattpad (she used to write August Alsina fics (don't tell her I told you 😭) but I Highkey forgot her @/ so I'll ask her for it. But she's starting a new book soon and she's a beautiful writer, I was shocked reading her work cause I never did in the years we were friends. Jk got it jythewriter !!! Check her out or else 🔫🔫

How are y'all?