I was assigned to skinning potatoes. It was the easiest job to do and I was able to sit outside and enjoy the cool wind of the night. The knife I used was quite thin and sharp that if I wasn't careful while cutting the thin surface, I'd cut myself. The kitchen is always moving so fast that it was hard for me to keep up. Hot and sweaty, smelt of foods and spices, and loud. I was never rushed in the kitchen whenever I cooked with my mother or for myself and Zian. It was always peaceful and calm. Not messy and unorganized.

Even worse, I was stuck with Su Tan.

She cuts the best out of all which is why she was paired with me to teach me her technique and boast of how talented she was so that I knew I was nowhere near to compare. She barely taught me anything, could barely get any closer without pulling away or finding an excuse to keep her distance, even almost nicked my finger in the process.

"How is your dress?" Out of nowhere, she asked. Already on another potato, rising it in the bucket of water. "It truly was an accident."

I put on a fake smile as she did. "Thank you for your concerns, I cleaned it the best I could."

"Did you? It does look brand new."

Her eyes are staring at the small brown stain on my chest. Noticing this, she smirks. But when she feels I'm watching, her cunning smirk turns into something innocent-like and pure of ill intentions. My teeth press hard and pink on my tongue, still keeping my smile until she lowers her head to continue her chores and finally, my face falls. Glaring at her.

She is so annoying, and I hated the way she acts when everyone was around compared to it being just us alone. Hostile and passive-aggressive. Even when Head Feng came to check our process, she bashed my pace and cutwork while praising Su Tan's, and she was like a whole different person. 'It's not easy for certain people and Huang Fei tries her best though she gives me a hard time with her lack of skill-ship. I guess the girls from Quying are not as skilled in the kitchen as they say.' She insulted.

Gossip traveled around quite quickly amongst laborers, of the rich guest who've arrived for the company of Meihua's women and exquisite wine. From a rich city, Lord Hou and his younger brother here to celebrate his 16th birthday. And so, Madam Xuan prepared a great feast and entertainment upon their arrival and the brother's birthday. They must've been important people based on the preparation, but I'm sure it's cause of their title.

A 'pssing' sound was heard low and harsh while I rinse the last of the potatoes I have left. The loud splashing drowned majority of the hist and I simply paid no mind to it until I heard it again. Louder this time. Following the noise, I looked past the clothing line to a shadow staring back at me — Zhao Jì.

Seeing her handsome face has caused my shoulders to release the tension sparking a weird feeling of happiness. She gestures her head.

I begin to stand, Su Tan and another girl who snuck here notices but keeps gossiping about the guest and how handsome they heard both brothers are. "I'm going to throw out the water and refill it," I tell Su Tan.

"Okay."

She barely glances at me and continues the conversation she was having.

I take the heavy bucket of dirt-mixed water into my arms and waddled over to where Zhao Jì stood, meeting her behind the kitchen building. She looked the same as before but much cleaner with different clothes though the style was the same. I'm not surprised her bow is nowhere to be found but I found it unusual since she never went anywhere without it or at least a weapon on hand. She must've felt safe enough in this place having to not worry about danger. I wish I could say the same.

"Why did you bring that?" She's talking about the bucket I place down, fearing it'd slip and ruin my dress even more.

"I needed an excuse to leave or I'll get in trouble again."

"Again?"

I huffed. "It's a long story." While peeking around, "where have you been all day? I was looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found until now."

"Out."

"Out where?"

She's quiet. And I back down now realizing I was interrogating her. She might think I care. And I kind of did, but I didn't want her to know or she'd pick on me and it'd be all weird so I try to look as if I don't, but her eyes continue to make out the meaning of my words.

Giving up, she continues. "Does it matter? I heard you were bullied?" She changed the subject.

"So you did know what happened after all yet you were out?"

She shrugs while leaning against the building. "People talk. It's not hard getting information when you hang behind the scenes. Besides, nothing leaves these doors without me knowing, especially when it involves you. Because it's my job." She adds the last part after thinking of her words.

"I'm sure."

She was right about one thing; people do talk and gossip spreads like a plague especially when you just listen. It hasn't even been a full day living here and I've heard secrets about almost everyone throughout this place. Even of the guest visiting here, the titles they hold, their position to the throne, how many children the Lord has, how much money men they spend here even while having no money to spend at all. This place was a pothole of information that anyone could use to their advantage.

Thinking too much as always, I forgot Zhao Ji was still here leaned against the wall with her arms crossed looking back at me. She's been by Zian's side for a while now, I'm assuming because of how comfortable they chat with each other, so I'm sure there was a lot she knew about Zian that I didn't. A lot that she was voluntarily not telling me.

I will have no choice but to be honest with you which shall uncover some dark secrets.

"Did," I started, playing with my fingers. "Did Zian visit here a lot?"

I don't know why I felt nervous about something I should have the right to know as his wife. Maybe I fear I'd get the answer I wanted and be stuck with it all my life, regretting I asked the question in the first place. And now I wished I said nothing but it was already too late as Zhao Ji was always answering me.

"Zian's life outside his marriage with you is not something I'm familiar with. Precisely, it is none of my business with what he does nor should it concern me. He's a man and I'm sure it's in the past before this marriage, so why are you bothered now?"

I take offense, though I inwardly sigh with relief. "I'm not bothered. Just curious to know him more that's a — "

"Where is that vile girl? I give her a simple task to fulfill and she has run off to god knows where. I already have my hands full and cannot spare any second with this foolishness. Huang Fei!" It's Head Feng. I jumped at her voice as if I felt it tickling at the back of my neck. Calling out my name she continues to talk bad of me, no longer wanting to waste her time so she sends a girl to look for me.

"I should go. Will you be here tomorrow? Actually present?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sure."

I bend to carry the bucket back into my arms. The water was still there so I poured majority out which made it easier to carry and rushed over to Head Feng noticing me instantly. Su Tan pretends to see me for the first time as if she had no clue I was gone.

"Where have you been? The potatoes are getting brown."

"I was throwing out the water to refill it but I heard you calling my name so I came back."

She waves me off and collects the bucket of peeled potatoes with another helper. "Make it quick and while you are out, take the bucket Su Tan has."

Su Tan shoved the bucket into my chest as I was moving the other bucket I currently had to my hand, the thin handle plunging deep into the creases of my fingers which were beginning to hurt.

"Oh and Huang Fei," I turn to Head Feng the moment she calls my name. "The well near the back wall is best."

I paused. The respectable smile I wore dialed when the girls broke into a soft snicker, each of them, including me, knowing what lies near the back wall. In my current powerless position, there was no way for me to decline going there. And if I were to go to the near well, they'd know if I came back too early or if my skin didn't give off a certain smell that's prominent.

So I went anyways.

I carried both buckets to the well. It's a bit further from the kitchens, way in the back that I was also facing one of the walls that surrounded MeiHua. I don't like being here by myself since it was isolated and quite dark when at night. This was where many laborers went to use the bathroom or clean the toilets that have been used by others so it was devastatingly smelly — which they all knew and sent me here while knowing it. Sometimes it was breathable but when it wasn't, I'd feel sick to my stomach that I would just hold my breath until I was finished, fearing I'd step on someone's feces who didn't have time.

Filling up the second bucket, a noise behind me had caught my attention. When checking behind, I only saw a girl rushing with a vase of wine slipping her chubby fingers. But next to where she was rushing, a building she anxiously enters, a candle is lit dimly but bright enough for me to notice. Judging by her clothing, she was a laborer but the place she entered was also the same door I saw a prostitute enter the moment I arrived. I didn't think much of it, but now it's a bit weird considering a woman of her background would never be seen here besides the kitchens and whatnot.

The water fills the bucket and I, curious as ever, got up to inspect the situation leaving the buckets behind.

"Did anyone see you?" I peeked through the crack of the window; my back pressed against the wall to hide the shadow of the lit candle lighting in different areas as the woman moves around. I can only see a glimpse of their clothing and hair but never a face.

"No."

"Good," there's movement. The woman in elaborate clothing is handing over a small brown pouch she pulled from within her dress. "Put only a few spoons of this in his drink and he should be out cold."

He? Who is he? The Lord? Someone else?

She takes it. "Will this kill him?"

"Let's hope not. We need him alive. Can you do it?"

"I can."

I try to adjust myself to see what's been given, slightly pressed against the window, using my head to inch it open, only to duck below when their heads turn in my direction at the sound of a loud creak coming from behind me. The candle blew out. Both girls just as scared I was being caught. Hearing their footsteps after we both waited, I quickly rushed over to hide behind the barrel just in time when one rushes out. It was the laborer. I couldn't make out much of her features since I was holding my breath to the point my face was growing hot and my chest was hurting, but I did catch a mole on her neck before she ran away.

The woman leaves with the wine in one hand and the brown pouch in another that she pours the powder-like substance into the wine before she runs off into the night. The woman soon leaves afterward.

Once I confirm no one is near, I rush from the barrel for the buckets I left behind and back to the kitchens where I belonged.

Another night and Bai Han Zhi is not in her bed when I return from the baths. JingFei isn't in her bed either but if what Wanue said was true then I'm sure she's still entertaining guest. I lie on my back sprawled amongst my bed with knowledge of a possible crime disrupting my train of thoughts. I'd rather think of Head Feng sending me to that well for water I could barely carry back with the smell still lingering just to tell me the water isn't needed and I can toss it to the grass, than knowing someone is about to — if not already — be drugged.

"Why should it matter?" I turn over to my side facing Jingfei's empty bed while pushing back my hair that fell in my face. "I don't know them. Their life isn't affecting mines and it's not like they're being killed — only drugged to sleep..." My thoughts begin to trail. "but can't you kill someone in their sleep? They could be robbed—" I forcefully turn on my back. "—well, if it's the Lord then it shouldn't matter. He will gain money regardless and owns many properties that can replace what's been lost, and he could probably a nasty bastard who deserves it. I shouldn't risk my life and identity for someone who wouldn't do the same for me — I am already in a life-or-death situation, and Zian brought me here to a place where he has possibly slept with countless beautiful women, and I'm told to forget and move on simply because he is my husband and it's in the past."

I'm getting off topic.

I let out a stressful groan. Truthfully speaking, I wasn't angry with Zian's past of his presence being here though I was curious to know about it, it was just easy pinning my problems at him so I don't deal with them head on. I'm angry that he left me alone in a place where I didn't fit in, in a moment I needed him most. I'm angry that because of my mistakes I can no longer visit home. I'm angry that Zian preaches he and I would be equals to one another yet he continues to leave me in the dark of his past, these secrets he shares with Zhao Ji, the tassel I found under our bed that was in the hands of Lienna's, and the number of strangers I meet that is a 'friend' to him but no one to me.

I'm angry at myself.

I'm always angry at myself. I have always been.

I'm not a perfect wife. I'm not a hero. I'm not Huang Fei. I'm not even a perfect daughter, so who am I? That, I'm still figuring out.

As more thoughts came barging in and drowning me out, the same one continues to circle back. Maybe I should tell Madam Xuan. At least let her know someone has planned a potential crime within her house which can lead to an investigation and me having to find somewhere else to live. I'll just tell her and let her deal with it so the weight isn't just on my shoulders.

Agreeing with the decision, I rise from my bed to quickly dress and head for the door.

Upon walking out the door, a body coming into the same direction bumps their chest against mines. "Where are you going? It's past curfew." I meet a beautiful woman dressed in bright colors. Her hair is pinned up illuminating her long neck, makeup done so effortlessly, shoulders long and slim — it was JingFei. She was utterly beautiful she looked like a princess.

She smells sweet, a bit of alcohol though I don't smell it on her breath. And in her hand when peering down, I noticed a laborer uniform crumpled side-ways into her fist, of which she pulls behind her, a dress she normally never wears.

"To see Madam Xuan," I answer simply.

I begin to walk around her, only for her to stop me in the process. "She is out. Why do you need to see her?" She proceeds to ask.

I look at her. "I have something important that I need to tell her. Excuse me." I continue around her and straight.

This was the first time I cross paths with Jingfei since this morning. Since she is a Jì, she would be out with the people in the main wings yet I hear she often hangs out in the laborer building, which I find weird she is the only Jì sleeping in the laborer quarters and not with the others or with her own beautiful room as I heard the others have. Maybe she is of low class. A low-class Jì, though I don't think someone of low class would dress as elegant as h —

A body pushes its way next to me walking along my side, Jingfei. "Then I will come with you."

"That's alright, you had a long night and I'm sure your fingers are exhausted. You can retire first and I'll meet you back."

I had hoped she would agree and leave, but she doesn't. She's determined to tag along.

"I wasn't asking," Great. First the weird question and now she doesn't want to leave me alone? "I am to make an example for the girls here and you will get me — us both — in trouble for leaving out after curfew especially if you are not working. I can leave and go around about my day, but you can't. So either you allow me to come along or we get in trouble and possibly sentenced to a harsher consequence or even worse, expelled. You think about it."

She did have a point. I'm not allowed to leave after curfew or be seen at the main wings which is a risk since Madam Xuan's quarters is located near the main courtyard in the front. However, this was an important matter so it was a risk to take, but not risky enough to be expelled.

I agree to let Jingfei come along.

Together we walk side-by-side through the laborer building avoiding Lady Ting Yu at all cost. It's quiet and an awkward breeze blew between us for a long moment.

"I hear you are from Quying?" She breaks the awkwardness first.

I merely look at her. "I am."

She draws a short hum, spiking my anxiety. "You don't have the accent." As she continues, my neck stiffens as we walk through the backway to avoid passing the resident advisor quarters. She might've noticed the tension within my body but doesn't address it. "The girls around here have never met someone Quying as I and the working sisters have, so they wouldn't know what a person from Quying sounds like. Meeting people from all over this nation, and judging by the way you pronounce some of your words, I'd guess you're from the countryside? Somewhere northern from here?"

I keep my lips shut. Why is it so hot? Why am I suddenly sweating? I tug on the inside of my dress to let in some cool air only to feel much hotter than before. I can't let my identity be discovered. I can't fail my husband or my family, or even myself. This is the last place for me and I can't let some well-educated girl ruin that for me.

I'm frightened when Jingfei holds out something to me, my brain telling me it's a knife and she will hold me hostage until General Wang comes to collect me and dissevers my head, only to feel relieved when it's the dress she was holding earlier. "I brought this for you since yours is ruined, took the girl hours to resize it so it should fit you." She dangles it when I don't take it immediately.

Hesitantly, I take it. "Thank you." I muffled.

I smile through my fears that increases each second that passes by, taking small steps ahead to continue forward.

Jingfei doesn't move her arm which causes her hand to punch my gut.

"I'm not here to rat you out so you can breathe. Every girl, including myself, has a story and reason for why they're here. You don't need to tell me your story but if you're going to impersonate as someone, you must do it right or someone will catch you in a lie as I have."

I nod, taking in her advice. I guess it never occurred to me the proper dialect the people of Quying uses. I also never met a person from Quying nor did I know what they sound like or acted, however, I'm happy the others who aren't as smart as Jingfei — which includes Su Tan — found out yet. I'll do my best to blend here until every inch of farm-girl Peizhi has erased my being.

Jingfei isn't so bad of a person I made her out to be. She was still weird and something about her reminded me of Zian which was putting me off, yet she gave me advice the moment we met as she did now and was nice enough to bring me a new uniform to wear, but she is still someone I can't trust. I mustn't trust too easily as I normally did and stray her mind from any curiosity she might have about my identity. And telling her what I heard might just do the trick.

Fixing my head levelly, "Jingfei there is something I need to tell you. Something I overheard and I'm not sure what I should do about it." She leans in her head attentively at the story I began telling her. She's calm and reacts with her brows pulling into the center as the story continues.

Once I'm finished, I lean back and allow her to process the information I just shared. A part of me wanted to smile, but the other part forces me not to. By the slow nod of her head, I knew I succeeded the distraction.

"I don't know what to do so I thought it was best I tell Madam Xuan and let her deal with it." I added.

"No, what you're doing is correct and I'm glad you told me. Madam Xuan should know of this and I will tell her. You head back first and I shall be there shortly."

My expression softens. "Are you sure? I should come with you since I — "

"Don't make me repeat it again." Her tone is stern, very sister-like. "You can't be out past curfew if not working, I can. Madam Xuan's quarters is near the main courtyard which leaves you visible to many people even Lady Ting Yu."

Pushing it no more, I back down and let Jingfei be the one to tell Madam Xuan. When her back faces me and she walks away, I can no longer contain the gripping feeling I felt jabbing my stomach. Who would've thought I was capable of tricking someone into my plan to avoid being exposed? It was a lot easier than I thought and it didn't take much either. Just a calm head and a throughly thought out plan that serves best towards the outcome of my future is all I needed before I act irrationally.

If I could trick Jingfei, who else can I trick?

•••••••
This was a long ass chapter. I'm positive there's mad grammar mistakes, I'm only human. I tried

Also Look at what ThePlanetOfStigma  sent me through discord 😭😭 plz ily

It's the way y'all might actually hate his ass frfr 👀💀