•••••••

The waves are crashing, a sick motion pitted in my belly. I swallowed it down, washing the stained cloth in the bowl of red water and applying it to his fresh stitches. Pushing back his hair, I allow the coolness from the open window cool down his fever. It's been on and off for days now. But he's a fighter.

Without warning, Mo Lian Tan shot upwards from his resting position. He must've had a horrible dream judging by his throaty scream or confused by the strange motion of his surroundings. His hands were desperate to escape the small room that confined him.

"You've lost a lot of blood, stop!" I held him down quickly before his stitches were ruined, blood already seeping beneath the detailed work. Meeting my calm face, Mo Lian Tan is calmer than before. His heart was a drum against my hand. "You're safe, Mo Lian Tan. You're safe."

His hand reached for my warm cheek. "You're safe?" The worry in his tone is stretching to find a connection between his reality and the dream he had.

Smiling, I nodded. "I'm safe." I took his hand from my cheek and kissed it before holding it to my chest. "We're both safe."

"Am I dead?"

"No," I chuckled. "We've made it. I found the woman and we're on her boat. We're going home now."

Mo Lian Tan furrowed his brows. "We did? I don't remember anything. Or how I got here."

"You passed out..." I started only to be interrupted by a voice behind us.

"You took a mean arrow to your shoulder. A clean shot. One that could kill. Luckily, it was your arm." The short woman dressed in a green tunic with black trousers fitting her waist searches for a red apple. Finding it, she cuts pieces with her dagger and placed it between her thin lips. Her big nose wrinkled like clothes when she laughed. "If it was your heart or any vital organs, you'd be long dead. If I didn't find you when I did — dead."

Mo Lian Tan looked to me and to the woman he's never met before. "This is—"

"Snake is easier." Snake interrupted again.

He nodded and fell against the floor mat as pain surged from putting pressure against his arm. "A friend of a friend through a friend. Nice to meet you." He greeted her.

"Likewise," Snake said. "We have a long journey up head but the clouds are mainly clear. We should have a smooth sail to our destination. Try not to cause any sudden movements — it's already hard scrubbing out blood and it wasn't easy taking that arrow out. Steady fingers." She wiggled her fingers

When she left, Mo Lian Tan turned to face me. He must've noticed something from the corner of his eyes and had to question it. "Are you bleeding? When did you get hurt? Where are you hurt?" The pressure on his arm from sitting up forced him back to the mat.

I reminded him to stay still like Snake ordered and until he heals a bit more. It's no surprise he'd disobey simple orders. He has always been hard-headed. And selfish. "It's not mine. Zian's. I stabbed him. Distracted him long enough to get us here. " I replied, painting the picture clear in my head.

It was a difficult plan trying to escape from him. Mo Lian Tan passed out after slaying General Wang. I had to buy enough time for Snake to pull his weight onto her boat, feeding into Zian's fantasy world where it would be just us. And perhaps, there was a part of me that wasn't pretending. A part of me that savored the kiss we shared; remembering his every touch and bathing myself in his familiar scent. One last farewell before I stabbed him under his rib. Deep enough to scar. To hurt. To distract him. And I ran. Pushing through with every strength I had left to jump on the boat sailing away to get a head start.

Zian stared back at me. Painfully bleeding in his hand, he watched the distance between us further. He could've gotten on any boat and sailed behind me to drag me back — but he stood there. Angry. Betrayed. Heartbroken. He suppressed every bit of will from getting me back...just to let me go. Just like that.

He freed me.

To give me what I most wanted which he could no longer provide me, or it was a form of  an apology. Guilt for murdering LI Wei. For using me and taking me from my home. For suffering the pain in his shoes. Whatever it was, he granted my leave. My choice. Allowing me to go home.

And perhaps, one day, he would search for me again. I know he will. I know he will never be finished with me. But it won't be until a long time from now. Until we're older and more mature. And happy in our own way of happiness and suffering.

"Are you alright?" Mo Lian Tan asked though he didn't wish to and seem considerate of my feelings that still lingered for Zian.

I lay next to Mo Lian Tan and wrapped my arm carefully over his waist, seeking his warmth and comfort. "It no longer matters. We're free." It still was a foreign feeling I'm adjusting to. "I'm free." He pulled me tighter and kissed the top of my head.

I'm free.

••••••

I wrote this with hope, in another life, or universe, the events could've turned out this way and not the way it did. But to also give the readers peace for what I've put you through. Believe in whatever ending sounds best for you 💗