3 | 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝
●●●●●●
Helping my little brother wash up was what I was doing when I heard the wagon pull up. My mother was running around in an effort to make sure the house was spotless. The snacks were well made in case my betrothed's family were hungry from the long trip, plus Wàipó loved homemade sweets, or so she mentioned.
Running the water through Jiei's growing hair, I peeked through one of the windows to see a tall figure exiting the wagon. Since the window was a bit dirty and there was a wooden log nailed across it so it wouldn't break, I wasn't able to see the tall figure's face, but whoever the person was was dressed in a black tunic and the figure's hair cascaded down only to stop at his mid-back.
Could it be my betrothed?
"Where is Peizhi? Peizhi!" I heard my mother call out my name. The sound of her running around could be heard until she found me helping Jiei. Her gaze of scrutiny came alongside her long sigh as she asked, "what are you doing? Your betrothed is here and you're all wet."
"It was my fault," Jiei whined, "I asked Peizhi to help since you were too busy."
I stopped what I was doing as my mother came over with a cloth to dry me off. "I am busy because your sister is meeting some very important people who will become a part of our family soon," she explained to my brother as she dabbed the cloth on my body. "You are so wet all over."
"Just my arms are wet," I argued, but I felt a pang of guilt, so I was quick to add, "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's me, panicking and trying to make sure everything is perfect before I send you off for good." Her eyes were glossed as if she was crying or was about to cry. "My little girl is all grown up and it's something I am still trying to get used to."
"Niáng, don't say it like that. I will surely come to visit," I tried to console her the best I could. "And if I can't, then I will find a way to come home back to you."
My mother stared at me for a long time, sulking in the last moments between us before telling Li Wei to have Jiei get dressed and me to fetch the kettle from the kitchen, then to meet everyone in the gathering room.
The gathering room was one of the nicest rooms we kept clean and well-furnished in case we had guests coming over or important people, like today. We used this room only for guests and sometimes just to relax in, but my mother wanted us to keep out at all times so we wouldn't break anything. Being the rebellious kids we were, it never stopped us from going inside.
"...My husband is still doing business west from here but he shall be back in a week or two," Lady Xiaomeng's voice could be heard from outside of the gathering room as I walked closer. "But how are you? As the man of the house, and husband to my dear friend, I feel as if I never see you around."
Halting my steps by the entrance, I listened to my father talk of his day and apologize for not showing his face more often. I tried to peek inside the room, and when I did, the figure dressed in black clothing was sitting in a position where he could see me peeking, only for me to pull away when I thought his head turned. Still, I didn't see his face.
"Where is the girl?" Wàipó asked. "Has she gotten cold feet?"
My heart thudded. I was about to meet my betrothed, the man I will marry and be with for the rest of my life and I was scared, of course. Because I knew that after I entered the room, I would never have the chance to enter again.
My mother chuckled lightly. "She is coming. Please, have some refreshments while we wait for her." Nervousness was evident in her tone, fearful that I was second-guessing a marriage that had already been set. There was no way I would let my mother down, considering her high hopes for me.
Taking in a deep breath, I clutched the hot kettle in my hands that were beginning to burn through the cloth and entered the room. I kept my head up, striding towards the small table in the center to fill the cups on it.
"Oh! This is my daughter, Jiang Peizhi," my mother introduced me. I gave a small bow, refusing to look him in his eyes, as I was afraid of his expression, of what he was thinking of me. "I know this may be of shock because her appearance isn't like the other women you see daily, but she is much more beyond her skin color and I hope you do accept her for who she is."
I caught a glimpse of my betrothed's arm reaching for my mothers. "You don't have to beg for my acceptance, Niáng." I paused mid-way filling the cups with tea. My mother was pleased to be called Niáng by my betrothed, but I was more focused on his words. Of what he was going to say next. "She is just the same as any woman I see daily because she is a woman. Her skin shouldn't make her any less of a woman I suppose, so I don't see much of a problem with it."
I met the eyes of my betrothed, finally easing away my fear of rejection to see the man with wise words. He wasn't ugly, he wasn't old, he wasn't awkward to look at. He was a bit young, at least around his 20's, and he was quite fascinating to the eye. His dark brows were thick but nicely-shaped and they gave his feminine features masculinity. His lips were just like his mother's — full and round with a tinted color of pink. His hair was long, it looked like a rich jet-black color from what I could see and it was held up by a thin band. He had the body of no Greek God but he was definitely more built than the average man.
I didn't realize I was still pouring tea until there was a burning sensation stinging my flesh. With a gasp, I placed the hot kettle on the table and yanked my hand back, rubbing over the scalded spot.
"Are you okay?" The voice belonged to my betrothed and his hand was reaching over to mine. His shadow appeared so tall that I was afraid to look him in his eyes once more. "Did you burn yourself?"
Subconsciously, I pulled away before he could touch me and offered the tea to both Wàipó and Lady Xiaomeng. Both took my offer, Wàipó — concerned if I had hurt myself, and Lady Xiaomeng — hesitant to take the tea from my hand. I sat beside my mother after I was done and kept my head down, or at least away from my betrothed.
"So I hear you are a soldier?" My father continued the conversation they were having before. "And you came back from your second campaign? You must be a fine soldier, huh?"
My mother rested her hand on top of mine. She asked if I was alright and I told her I was fine so she let it be.
My betrothed, Zian Xiaomeng, shrugged. "I'm decent," he commented. "I just happen to know how to stay alive."
My father laughed, unsure if what Zian said was a joke or not. Everyone else besides Zian and I joined in my father's boisterous laughter.
"My eldest son was recently recruited for his first campaign, but thank God he came back in one piece." My mother added, "you as well, Zian."
"Thank you, Niáng. I do wish your son good health and luck if he does return. The war can be lonely without a little hope of returning back home."
My mind had zoned off, tuning off the conversation and remembering the time when Li Wei was first summoned to join the Imperial Army. Around the time Yiyan was getting married to her husband and everything seemed calm besides her complaining about how old her betrothed appeared, besides him being rich.
Mother and I would pray for his safety, and that he wouldn't put anyone else's life before his; that he would come back in one piece and not missing a limb, or carrying wounds that would end up scarring. Also that he would fear no death and keep thriving.
I remembered when Li Wei came home after his duty. There were a few scars but he came in one piece, but he wasn't the same as he used to be. Though he put on a brave face for mother and father, he would tell the truth of his journeys after sunset.
"Many men slept with their eyes open, while many didn't sleep at all," Li Wei had said. "Some were starved, fighting against our enemies with little to no energy to pick up a sword. I saw many men get slaughtered in front of me, women and children raped by lonely men, and many men who ran away to escape the war. It was lonely. Not waking up to the aroma of your mother or wife's cooking, not seeing your children's faces, or seeing any women besides our enemy's women. The war felt long, cold, sickening, but they say it's worth fighting if you're fighting for your home, your nation, and your Emperor."
Emperor, he mentioned. Besides being one of the most powerful nations, we were also a weak one. A powerful nation without a real Emperor, with Emperor's mother, Dowager Empress Xu Huian, on the throne.
I don't know much about the royal family since I've never seen them nor did I live in the capital to have a chance to, only hearing stories from my family of which they heard from neighbors, who heard from others and so forth. But I did know the late Emperor had died from a rare illness, passing his title and position over to his only legitimate son, Xu Li Jun, who was only 4 years old around the time. But because Xu Li Jun was too young to rule, his mother took his place as the Dowager Empress who was to rule the nation until the Emperor became of age.
I would hear stories often made into songs of the Emperor who is now of age to rule and has yet taken the throne. That no one has seen the Emperor's face on the day of every three months where the people can see the face of the Royals. That this country was ran by a faceless King who still sucks on his mother's nipples.
My attention was brought back to reality when my betrothed said something I wasn't expecting. "If it's alright with everyone, I would like to walk with my betrothed, to have a chance to get to know her."
Lady Xiaomeng had opened her mouth to say something, but Wàipó spoke right over her. "Yes, yes, take her. While you take her, the parents here can discuss both of your futures." She gave her grandson a warming smile.
I could see his tall figure standing up and coming over to me. "Shall we go?" He offered me his hand.
I looked nervously towards my mother whose eyes signal for me to go.
"Ah, yes." I took his hand to stand and together we walked out of the gathering room.
Side by side, we walked along the path through the farm. I showed him the barn and what we grew on our farm, though I don't think he cared since he didn't have the lifestyle I had or would've ever worked on a farm. I doubted he even understood the terms I spoke about or knew the tools that are used on a farm. He probably was pretending he was interested when all he wanted to do was something else much better.
After showing Zian the farm and many other things around the house, we decided to take a break and stand under the tree I used to climb with my siblings. He stood leaning against the tree trunk while I stood a few inches from him, playing with my fingers. I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to say anything that would make him end up hating me.
"I'm curious," Zian started, breaking the silence between us, "is there a reason you can't look me in my eyes properly? Do I appear... distasteful to look at?"
"No," I said hurriedly, my voice an octave higher, and I was telling the truth. Zian was no distaste to look at. He was quite handsome, but there were other reasons as well. "I fear you might fear me."
"What is there to fear?"
As my reply, I shrugged. I don't know what he was thinking. I was afraid he would find me disgusting as his mother did simply because I had African blood. Though his words were unexpected when assuring my mother, for all I knew, it could have been an act to seem like an open-minded and a well-mannered son only in front of my parents.
"You don't have to be afraid to look at me. I won't bite. But, I would like to see the face of my bride and not just her forehead or the side of her face."
At that, I lifted my head to meet his curious gaze. My cheeks felt a bit warm as he finally took a good look at me. From this angle, Zian's hair looked as if it was a dark brown color like mine instead of the original raven I thought it was. "You know, when my mother told me the woman I am to marry is of African origin, I had a different image in my head. But seeing you here now in front of me, I can say those images are long vanished."
My head jerked up once more to look him in the eye. "You didn't cancel once you heard?"
"Why would I? My nǎi nai* personally picking you out of all the Chinese women they've visited must be for a reason, don't you agree? Besides, she just want to see me married at this point even if it's to an horse. "
I narrowed my gaze, feeling this sort of distance within my existence. "I have Chinese blood as well." I didn't want to come off as fussy but it naturally happened.
He must've noticed me getting slightly offended, of which I hoped he didn't end up hating me and treating me badly for. "You do, and I apologize for speaking too freely without thought," he apologized.
I wasn't expecting him to apologize. Given his looks, he didn't seem like the type to do so, more like an arrogantly domineering person. Maybe I was making too many assumptions about him, making him out into someone he wasn't, it was just my way of preparing for all that was coming my way.
I spotted the sword in its scabbard around his waist. "Do you bring that with you everywhere?" so I decided to change the subject.
He followed my gesture towards his sword and nodded in affirmation to my question. "It's to accompany me everywhere I go. I can protect myself and you with it."
"Are you... skilled with that sword?"
He smiled. "Yes, I am very skilled." He must've also noticed the way I was looking at his sword and unsheathed it, holding it out towards me. "Would you like to hold it?"
Of course, I did! I was fascinated by the engraved designs on the handle. It was different from the swords I'd ever set my eyes on. It was very much newer and cared for than the one Li Wei owned that was rusting out around the handle but he always kept it sharpened. But knowing my position as his wife and afraid of seeming atypical from the wives men would normally want, I had to refuse.
"I don't think a woman as fragile as me should touch something as precious to my betrothed." My eyes lingered a little before looking away.
His head lifted in curiosity. "Who told you that?"
"My mother and aunts," I told him honestly. "My mother specifically told me men and women each have their roles within a marriage and I am not to interfere with the man's way of living as you shouldn't with a woman."
He hummed before replying, "Your mother is an outspoken woman, but there's nothing wrong with a fragile woman as yourself knowing how to protect herself. So, I insist."
He handed me his sword and I was hesitant to take it. He beckoned the sword for me to grab and said, "Besides, I try to stir from gender roles. Especially within a marriage, or at least this marriage between us."
The sword felt much weightier in my hands compared to how it looked when it was out of my reach. It was a bit heavier than my brother's sword for some reason. Maybe it was made out of rare steel or something Zian was rich enough to buy. Holding the sword downwards toward the ground with my feet spread just in case I dropped it and it wouldn't stab me, I looked up to Zian who wore a calm expression on his face.
"Here, let me show you how to properly hold it like a soldier." He guided my legs to their right positions, even picking up my foot to place it correctly. "That looks good. Move that one a little — perfect."
Then he was behind me, close enough that he was able to wrap his arms around my body, hovering his hand over mine. "You want to hold it up, diagonally. The handle should be tilted, perfectly toward the center of your abdominal. The tip, straight up to the sky. For soldiers, if it's too heavy to hold, they would be forced to do pushups until a man is able to hold it up. Some will have to bear with the pain. But for you, because it's your first time holding a sword and you are my bride, I will hold it for you."
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I had never been this close to a man or had a man this close to me, besides my brothers and my father, but this was different. His tall, warm body pressed against my backside with his arms right above mine as guidance. His hands felt big compared to mine but they were surprisingly soft, and his chest? His chest felt hard against my backside, so close that I could feel his heartbeat. Also, his bulge felt naturally hard against my butt. Why was he so close? Why was my heart thudding and my cheeks flustered? Why was I thinking of something inappropriate just from a single touch?
I moved myself from Zian's hold, around the same time he had taken the sword from my hands and back to his side at the sound of his mother's voice shouting for us to come over. I looked back at Zian who had been looking at me.
He gestured his head towards our family. "We should go," he said and I nodded in agreement. "And if you want, I can show you more techniques some other time."
I said nothing. Together, we walked to our family who awaited us to finally proceed our marriage after Zian agreed he would have me as his wife. The wedding was taken place right then and it was kept short and straight to the point since it was hours before we got back to the city before curfew or the gates would've locked us out. And because Wàipó grew impatient to wait once more.
"Well." Lady Xiaomeng was grateful the wedding was finally over and done with. She bowed towards my family who was officially sending me off to my new family in the front of our little house. "It has been a long day. It's a shame we must put this time into an end. Until another time, Bei?"
My mother returned her gesture, bowing.
When Lady Xiaomeng turned around, she briefly met my gaze before saying, "Peizhi, say your goodbyes to your family but don't take too much time. We still have a long ride ahead of us."
Both Wàipó and Lady Xiaomeng went down the steps and over to the wagon. My husband, Zian, stayed by my side. Husband, I thought to myself. The word itself was weird as it was only just registering to my brain that he was my husband.
My mother was brought to tears, but still kept her head up to be strong about it. My father smiled warmly, my little sister cried out her heart along with my little brother, and Le Wei came to embrace me tightly into his strong grip. He told me to be strong, to be myself and reminded me I will always have a choice. Letting go, he kissed my forehead just as Gho did telling me everything would be okay and that I was lucky he wasn't old.
"You be a good wife, okay?" My mother hugged me, her natural scent wafted through my nose. It was something I was going to miss. "You obey his family and cause no trouble. Make sure you brush your hair thoroughly, don't forget to cool off the water when you're making tea. And if the pain is too much to bare once you two consumate your marriage, close your eyes and think of good things. The pain will be over as soon as you open them."
"Of course, Niáng."
"And Peizhi," She looked me in the eyes. "If anything goes wrong, anything! You can always come home. Even if you're ashamed or feel you shamed us, these doors are always open."
Our farewell was cut short after Lady Xiaomeng reminded us that we had to get going. I hugged my mother for the last time and finally parted ways.
As the wagon rode off, I watched my family down the cobblestoned path, their figures getting smaller with every step forward the wagon took.
●●●●●●●
奶奶 (nǎi nai) = Paternal Grandmother
[I've been so busy all week I thought today was Wednesday and not Friday]
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro