••••••

I should have known since tonight's catastrophe, I would be ordered to stay in my palace for the next couple of days until Zian catches the made-up men who kidnapped me and whoever was behind the explosion. The next few days were also to determine any potential harm to my body or the baby that might creep up over time, but I felt good for the most part. Besides my butchered hands, my lower back ached and so did my feet.

"That might be because of the weight as the prince grows within," The Physician informed. Of course, he believed it to be a prince. Everyone did. He was in the process of wrapping my hands in light brown cloths after I had washed my hands clean of dirt and blood. He applied a herb from far away which stung like hell, only to soothe the wounds minutes after. "I advise you rest for the next few days as His Majesty stated, and keep watch on your wounds. Let me know when they don't begin to heal."

The Physician stood from his sitting position and began to gather his things.

"I will, thank you."

He bowed. "My honor, Your Highness."

When the Physician left, my gaze fell upon Zhao Ji who stood far off the side of the room glaring at me with her arms crossed. She held in her words to respect my wish for a peaceful night, but there was no reason for her to hold in since the words were brooding from her eyes.

Yan Ran came back from walking the Royal Physician out, ready to get me set for bed despite the heated tension. "Your Highness, I — "

Rolling my eyes with a heavy sigh, I pulled the covers over my head as I lie uncomfortably on my left side. However, it wasn't enough because I could still feel her gaze burning a hole through my head and it was frustrating! She is getting on my nerves and if meant to stop her from agitating me, I must allow her to speak.

With a loud groan, I sat up from my bed after pulling off the covers, scaring Yan Ran who stood near putting away the old clothes I wore. "What?" I pressed. "You might as well say it now since you have something to say! So what is it?"

"Your Highness, be careful to not overdo yourself remember." Yan Ran reminded. I should be living my pregnant days in peace and quiet without stress on my mind or hanging over my shoulders, she told me before. It will help with my child's development and it's healthy and common. However, it was a lot harder to do so. Much when everyone was against me.

"A coincidence?" Zhao Ji did not hesitate once allowed to state her bold opinions, she was even relieved I gave up my fight easily. "I am beginning to think his intentions are on purpose and I don't like it."

Yan Ran minds her business. She and Laoliu were the only who knew Zhao Ji was no ordinary maid, and she knew by the conversations we shared, she wasn't just an ordinary guard.

"Whether it is or not, that is up for me to decide! Keep your enemies close, remember?" I tried to use her words against her, but it failed as a boisterous laugh filled her throat.

She ran her hand over the slick part of her ponytail. "You know very well you don't think of him as an enemy. Better yet, you have befriended a stranger you don't know, who could turn his back on you with the very sword he chose to serve and protect you with. Tell His Majesty you refuse his wish to serve you and he should pick another that doesn't involve your name."

I chewed at my bottom lip. I never thought of Mo Lian Tan as an enemy for the reason being his presence never seethed the betrayal of his aura. To me, he was only a man who shared childish tendencies and held no filter with his words and agitated me to the core that I would pull out my hair if it was easy to do so. Not someone with malicious plans to use my blood for his benefits. And so, therefore...

"I trust him,"

Though my words were soft and doubtful, my eyes held hope as Zhao Ji released a sigh that could cool the room in the heat.  "Peizhi..." she trailed disappointedly.

"I know you wish the best for me and you speak from your heart out of interest, and I'm sure you still see me as that small naive girl with no clue of the real world, but I need you to trust me. Even if I'm wrong, trust me. Even if you disagree and hate me for the outcome of my decisions, trust me. Just...put your trust in me. I don't have the knowledge you do, but the world keeps changing and as it changes, I must learn to adapt to survive. And to adapt, I will make mistakes. And to survive, I will follow blindly down many paths which only one will hold a light at the end. But to allow guidance, you'll have to let me go."

"Alright. Fine," Zhao Ji walked across the room until she was at my side and bent to her knees so that I didn't strain my neck to look up at her. "You do as you please and I will back off. But the moment it goes south, the moment your trust in him fades, the moment he raises his sword at you, I will not hesitate to paint his blood on my hands. And you won't stop me this time."

I smiled softly while placing my hand on hers, and though the feeling surprised her, she placed her free hand on top of mine. "I know you will. And if that moment does come, I won't stop you," A thought then came to mind. "I need a favor."

Zhao Ji smacked her lips and attempted to pull away from me. I grabbed her hand tightly and kept her close so that she wouldn't pull far from me. "I knew you wanted something. I felt the build-up." She said.

"Come on,"

"What do you need?" Still pulling her hand from mines, she stopped once she realized I was a lot stronger than her. Pregnancy had its perks."And it better not be something for that man...It is, isn't it? I should've known better."

The smile on my face grew bigger. "I need to visit him alone wherever the Attending Office is located."

"One day, I will die because of you,"

I shrugged. "It was you on your knees swearing loyalty, not I. Next time think about who you give your life to."

"Fair enough."

"Wait here," Zhao Ji commanded as she slipped through the door before me. I clasped together my hands as I peered over my shoulder, out towards the guards patrolling the area and hid more into darkness so that I was invisible. I don't know how Zhao Ji did it, but she found a back door for us to sneak into the Attending Office, but when I noticed the sign on the building, it was a different wording. One I was unfamiliar with. But then again, I wasn't familiar with the characters for the Attending Office either.

Moments later, Zhao Ji opened the large door only squeezing half of herself through the door as she peeked out her head. "Let's go and be careful to not step on anyone. It's dark." Her figure was lost in darkness.

My brows furrowed at her words. "Step on anyone?"

Something squishy but hard filled my bottom foot as I slipped through the small crack of the door, and while adjusting my eyes in the dim-lighting building, I pulled back with a gasped at the sight of guards lying unconscious on the cold floor. My foot hovered over the fat belly of a man knocked out in an awkward position.

I hopped over the man, walking around another, stepped on a finger, to the free space where no one stood. "Are they dead?" I said in a whisper, shooting Zhao Ji a disappointed glare. "Zhao Ji, when I said I wanted to sneak in, I don't mean to kill everyone! How are we going to cover this up now?"

She rolled her eyes, stepping on whomever as she pleased. A hand, someone's leg, a belly, someone's hair. "I didn't kill anyone, relax. They will wake up soon, of course...I am sure. Which means we don't have much time." Zhao Ji checked the hands of the unconscious guards until she found a set of keys laying in a sweaty pair of hands. "Besides, I know better than to not kill with a pregnant woman near. You will just weigh me back since I'm faster."

She grabbed the arm I slapped. I didn't hit her hard nor soft but in a playful manner.

"I am kidding...partially."

"Zhao Ji."

"Here," She changed the subject by handing me the keys carefully and gestured her head toward the door, or the guards. "I will stay to keep guard and keep them unconscious, but you have 15 minutes until they begin to notice no one is on guard."

I sent her an appreciative look. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do...since he will die anyway." She said the last part under her breath but because it was quiet where we stood, I was able to hear her as clear as day. I sucked in a large portion of air and ignored her.

I trailed down the dark hallways searching for Mo Lian Tan. It got colder the further I walked and rubbed my arms violently to keep myself warm. I never thought there could be a place as lonely and dark and cold to exist. If I was left in such a place, I would get sick immediately or die of pure coldness. It was as well dark so I shuffled lightly, following down the lit lanterns hung along the walls to help navigate through the unfamiliar area. As I passed the many cells of women and men begging to be let out and reasoned with, knocked out on the floor, shoving their mouths of what might be their last meal of the day, I finally came across Mo Lian Tan's cell.

He rests on the small dirty bed with both hands propped behind to support his head as he stared up at the ceiling. The arm which held the wound he gashed had been wrapped and well treated for and a gleam of healing medicine smeared above his eyebrow, but he was still in the same clothing he wore. His cell was quite small but at least he had eaten, given by the empty bowl and cup placed on the chipped wooden table.

Mo Lian Tan scrambled to his feet as he heard the set of keys I searched for and opened his cell. He immediately saw it was me and came forward. "Huang Fei — "

"Speak," Making my way into the small cell, I leaned my back against the opposite side of Mo Lian Tan. I would have sat on the small cushion placed at the table, but my stomach was too big for me to cross my legs as I normally did and it was too much work so I decided to stand. I won't be here for long anyway.

I have 15 minutes. Probably 10 or less since I spent half the time looking for him and searching for the right key to open his cell.

"We are alone for now, but we don't have much time," I assured the anxious crease set between his brows as he scanned the surroundings for a nearby guard or Zian. "You promised you would tell me everything and that's why I'm here. I want to know everything you're not telling me. No more lies."

"Okay, but before I tell you anything, you should know this isn't on my free will. I only take orders and if I could do it any other way, then I would. I mean it."

"Okay."

He stood in a way so that we were level-eyed. His gaze narrowed from my face to my belly, to the ground as he swallowed hard against his dry throat, searching for the right words to start with. I waited patiently and prepared myself for whatever's to leave his lips.

"I..." He cleared his throat for the second time. Watching my expression intensively, he continued. "I had been hired to assassinate the Crown Prince – now the current Emperor – as word of his existence scattered around the ears of those who wish him dead. However, after he slaughtered a bunch of noblemen and high-titled soldiers, my employer grew impatient and anxious of his next move. But he saw an opportunity, a weakness to catch the Emperor off guard and kill him in his most vulnerable moment..."

I stepped away from Mo Lian Tan almost tripping over myself to create more than enough space between us as I try to make sense of his words. He said a lot in a few sentences. Too much for me to process all at once and despite all that's been admitted, only one seemed to have stuck out. "You were going to kill me?" My voice was soft, almost fragile, as if my heart would break any moment.

"No," He replied immediately, hurt by the tone of my voice. "No, I was going to kill the one who held the title of Guìfēi Pearl...not you."

"But I hold that title, Mo Lian Tan! What difference does it make? I trusted you and you...you wanted me dead."

"You were Huang Fei when I first met you as you were when I left and when I saved you before from the fire, as I see you now. You were not the Imperial Noble Consort Pearl then, before, ago, so why would I assume now? Such a prestigious, difficult title to reach, belonged to a simple commoner woman who cleans and cook for whores with barely anything in her name? I would be called a drunk if I were to tell this story to anyone."

Mo Lian Tan regretted his words the moment they slipped from his lips. He was frantic as he tried to think of a way to retrace back his steps, but it was already too late.

I heard him loud and clear, and it ripped into my chest. "So now I'm not fitted for the title, is that what it is? A lucky blessing I am not worthy of, too high above to reach, that you can't imagine it?" I continued to spit out my words of venom, giving him no chance to backtrack the second his lips parted to form words. "Are you reminding me of my place? You think because of my apparent appearance, and that you witnessed me at my lowest, that I don't deserve nice things too?"

"I didn't say that," He attempted to step forward as if it would help me reason. A gleam shine could be seen coated in his eyes now clear of blood, frowned at the cold tears beating my warm cheeks. "And that's not what I meant. Your appearance has nothing to do with this. My words came out wrong, but I don't wish bad fortune upon your name. I am happy for you. You deserve everything, and if I could, I would give you the world and more but my path leads a different lane. And I see yours do too."

It's not healthy for me to be as frustrated as I was with myself. It's not healthy at all. And I don't know how else to express myself appropriately without somehow over-spilling myself to Mo Lian Tan; to a man who was hired to assassinate me, whom I trusted. How am I to face someone I clung to as a friend, someone who reminded me much of Li Wei in ways and been there on my darkest days. I had even shared the burden of Mr. Mou's death. I'm so ashamed of myself.

My shoulders fell in a slum, embarrassed I could no longer look him in the eyes. "Why don't you kill me now? While I'm here out in the open...alone...and unprotected. You can have what you want now."

His eyes flashed to mines, almost hurt and disgusted with himself that I would ever suggest my life willingly in his hands. "I would never harm you, Huang Fei." He expressed softly.

"But you would harm my husband?"

His silence filled the air.

As I took in his long pause of silence, waiting for him to expand his word along Zian's name, I nodded in realization and understood that even if he was telling the truth as he promised; about not hurting me or allowing any harm to come in my direction, his words would never apply to Zian. And there was a high percentage I won't be able to talk him out of potentially killing him.

At my finger jabbed in his chest, Mo Lian Tan shuffled from my impact and held his stance, allowing my nail to pierce within his skin. "Do you think I would allow you or any harm to come to him? He is not only the Emperor, but he is the father of my unborn child and the man I love — " He grimaced at my words. " — and if he is gone, then I have no place in this world for either of us. I might as well perish along his side."

He bit on his lower lip as my nail dug deeper,  a soft moan of pain left between his lips but he didn't dare to remove my hand. And I as well didn't, wanting him to feel pain, any kind of pain that would easily express my hurt and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," He breathed against my face.

Seconds later, I released my nail from his chest and just stood there. Hopeless.

"You do understand what you admitted to me is a crime that could put you to death or locked away for life?"

"It's not that simple, Huang Fei," Mo Lian Tan explained. "There is too much hanging over my head that I simply can't just stop. I want out of it too, but there is nothing I can do. I will die if he doesn't."

"So die." No emotion detected in my tone, or that I tried to conceal. I will forever choose Zian. Even if I was placed in a room and forced to choose who gets to survive while the other must perish, I will still choose him. My husband. The father of our child.

I felt his burning gaze seeking to make contact, as if he wanted to find out the truth of my words buried from within. Finally, he looked elsewhere and I was able to release the breath of air I held in. His shoulder brushed against mines as he trailed around my figure so that he was able to breathe in the air I hadn't contaminated with my presence. I stood still.

"I will," I spun to face him with my lips parted, somehow guilty. "One day, I will die." My gaze shifted to the peeling bars when he faced me. "But that day will not be now, nor tomorrow, or anytime near — but when I am old and have lived my life in comfort and peace. I am sorry, but I will survive and make it to old age."

He was determined. It was the same fire I saw in Zian's eyes, that I often recognized within myself. He will do what he must so that he makes it to his goal.

"Then I will report you!"

I whirled around him and headed outside of the cell to find someone to report his confession to, but I was left with an indistinct weakness. Why didn't he stop me? I thought he would stop me from leaving. Grab my arm, or halt my steps by placing his body in front of mines, or even steal the keys from my hands and lock me in the cell and hold me for ransom — nothing. He might've caught my bluff as my steps slowed, waiting for his intervene only to pick back up my speed. Why would I wait for him? It's him or Zian and my child's future. So why was I waiting when I knew the answer myself? I must get my head checked out immediately.

But then, finally, Mo Lian Tan spoke up. He didn't choose to physically stop me from leaving the cell — though I had already stopped myself inches out — but the choice of wording sure did the job. "Go ahead, but if you report me, be sure to know it will not end with only me." I faced him with furrowed brows, not surprised he would find a way to keep me from reporting him one way or another. But I was curious too.

What did he mean it doesn't stop with him? There is more?

"He is powerful, Huang Fei, and he has powerful men backing his stance. And when he wants something, he will obtain it one way or another. You have not seen what I witnessed, heard what I listened, he is no match for either of us. There is no mercy on his agenda! You can report me, go ahead I won't stop you. But if you get rid of me, he will be forced to hire someone more determined to finish what I won't. But with me here....at your side will buy more than enough time for everyone. He is smart to lay low after tonight's catastrophe, and will assume I have a plan under my sleeve by using you to get close to the Emperor or will come to me when it's time."

"But that is what you will do ...use me to get closer to the Emperor," I pointed out.

He stared. "I will use another way without using you — "

"No." I interrupted, my brown eyes boring into his. "I don't think you heard me the first time. You won't touch him or use any method to lay your hands upon him because if you kill him,  then I will kill you myself. Of course, you know I would since I've done it before. You were there that night."

He's quiet as he recalled the night he found me covered in Mr.Mou's blood. He cleared his throat scratching at his chin and acknowledged it was something I was quite capable of and decided to no longer provoke me or bring up Zian.

I stepped forward into the cell. "Who is he? Who hired you?"

"I don't ever want to lie to you, but some things just can't be said for your safety."

"I'm not a child." I rolled my eyes.

"No, you're a woman." He stated clearly, a low growl formed around the word 'woman' making me shiver. "A woman that I genuinely care about despite being stars away, and I don't dare put you through any of my troubles. If not yourself, think of your child. The less you know, the better."

My hand pressed gently against my bump, my chest heaved through the loose cloak tied around my neck as another chill traveled throughout my nervous system. How dare he speak of my child. All I have done was think of my child and their future, but creating a peaceful world for them to live in seemed more like a dream than a reality I could make happen. And so when it becomes too hard for me to reach, then what do I do?

Contemplating his warning, I came to a final decision for us all. For me, my child, Zian...and Mo Lian Tan. I will keep us safe, or at least try to keep us safe and pay back my debt to Mo Lian Tan for the kindness he extended toward me and for saving my life. In another life, I would have just paid him back with a nice meal or maybe enough money to set his future the way he wanted. I just need to keep him from harming Zian and his puppet master from making any rash movements.

The keys dangled around my finger as I stood straight, becoming yet again the person people will seek me as for the sake of my survival. "You don't serve him anymore, you serve me. So when I ask you of something, you answer. That's how it goes or you pay with your life and you won't be able to reach old age. Now, who is the man who wants to harm my family?"

I caught the cocked smirk on his face before it fell and he anxiously nibbled at his bottom lip. "Xu Donghai," Hesitantly, he answered.

That name sounded familiar... "Xu Donghai?" I repeated softly, almost as if the name was foreign against my tongue. But then, I suddenly remembered the name written on the note ripped to pieces by my hands before the explosion and gasped with wide eyes. "Xu Donghai, as in Zian's uncle?"

"Zian...?"

Right. No one knew him by Zian. No one here but me. "Xu Li Jun," I corrected

In response, he agreed with a nod.

This changes everything! Not only was I to befriend a man I can't easily meet on my own, but I was to befriend a man hungry to place Zian amongst his ancestors even if it meant eliminating me and his heir to reach him. And his vengeance for Zian wasn't a grudge he recently discovered, it was long before when he knew Zian as the Crown Prince, not the Emperor. And it hit me. Could Xu Donghai be the person who betrayed the former Emperor and caused the Blood War? And could he be the man who Zian wished to have killed but couldn't because of his influences?

This changes everything indeed.

Zhao Ji's dashing figure scared me from behind as she showed up from out of nowhere. She had always been light on her toes and often scared me a lot more than usual, especially since she never warns anyone of her arrival and shows up expected.

I noticed she was out of breath. Clung on the bars to catch her breath, sweat appeared along her hairline as she filled me in her view relieved to find me. "The guards are waking up and His Majesty is here to question those who've been detained, including him." Refusing to acknowledge Mo Lian Tan's existence, she reached out for my hand. "We must leave now before they catch us here. This is no place to be caught at especially by His Majesty."

My face went white hearing of Zian's arrival. And just over her shoulder, a faded light could be seen against the dark walls. Each second, it grew bigger.

Mo Lian Tan saw it too and quickly rushed me out. "Go. You should leave."

I was already out the cell. The keys somehow found themselves in Zhao Ji's hands as she closed the cell gently and locked it tight. After locking it, she grabbed for my hand and we both ran in the opposite direction from the burning light, in the direction we originally came from. But a matter that has been pegging me grew selfish for an answer, and so I slipped my hand from Zhao Ji's and rushed back toward Mo Lian Tan's cell.

"Peizhi, don't you dare — "

"I will only be a second," I told Zhao Ji as I found Mo Lian Tan's cell again.

He was just about to sit on the bed while running a stressful hand through his short hair, until the jangle of my hands gripping the bars scared him, only to pull back with a loud hiss. I forgot about my hands. I grabbed the bars with the only hand that wasn't cut across my palm.

"Huang Fei?" Eyes filled with worry, "Why did you come back? Leave. Leave before you are caught."

"I will leave, but before I do, I just want to know one thing and I will go. When we met, did you — "

"A coincidence." He already knew what I was going to ask him which made it easy for me. I didn't have to explain anything. The feeling of his hand brushing against mines while gripping the bars just inches above my hand, his breath blew warm against my face. "Or destiny, as I call it." He smiled. I didn't. "As I said before, you were always and will forever be Huang Fei to me. My intentions for approaching you were sinless and purely a coincidence. I only wish we could have crossed paths a different way. You know, I have never lied to you; we still have the same objective and I'm very close to finding him. But do with me what you must, I'm sorry this had to happen."

"I..." I breathed. "I will..."

However, I was given no chance to respond to him with whatever words first came to my head without thought as Zhao Ji snatched my hand into hers and forcefully peeled me from the bars and far from Mo Lian Tan's cell. She sent him a glare throughout the process.

"That was longer than a second we don't have." Said Zhao Ji.

A guard was fully aware of his surroundings as we began to approach the back door. Sat upon his knees, he violently shook awake his comrade just as another was beginning to grow conscious.

"What the hell happened? I barely remember a thing." The man questioned himself already up on his feet to report the incident.

Zhao Ji cursed under her breath.

As if the guard felt our presence, he spun around assuming it was help or the person coming back to finish the job, but just before he was able to make out our faces, his body was met to the cold floor by the impact of her kick. His body sprawled out on his belly, tongue licking the floor, blood spotted at the tip of Zhao Ji's shoe matching the same color drained from his nostrils.

Immediately we rushed out.

It was then once we reached the comfort of the Fortune of Youth Palace, when I slipped into my chambers leaving no sign that I had left, my thoughts clustered, when Zhao Ji followed quietly behind me.

"So," She started. She kept her voice lowered, eyeing Yan Ran who just left to prepare a snack for me to munch on since I've grown hungry. "What did he tell you? Did you find the answers you needed?"

I sat uncomfortably in my chair and pondered on what's been said. "What have I done?" Quietly speaking to myself, I leaned back in my chair and stared up at the ceiling while I undid my cloak allowing it to fall to the floor.

Yan Ran came back with a snack and Zhao Ji left me be seeing how I was in no mood to discuss my exchange with Mo Lian Tan.

I don't have an exact answer for what I did. Only what I thought was best for everyone, but it's so hard thinking for everyone else while thinking for myself.  If I report Mo Lian Tan to Zian then his uncle will hire another more capable to assassinate him and me if deemed fit, and if I lose Zian, then I lose everything. Most importantly my security for both me and my child. I could care less about everything else but the moment Zian named me his pearl, it changed everything. No longer can I hide in plain sight as the story of my upcoming has filled the ears of those who were just born and those who've passed. And if I choose to not report Mo Lian Tan — as I've already decided — Zian's uncle, Xu Donghai can only control him, who's now partially controlled by me.

I sighed heavily.

This would be a lot easier if I had met Zian in another lifetime when he is not set to take the throne after his father, but a simple man from a simple background with simple duties. Now his problems have become mines and mines have become his. And now I must find a way to solve all of our problems without placing Zian in a difficult situation as he was in now, without causing too much stress to my body, without  Mo Lian Tan harming Zian, without me losing almost everything in such a short span of time. But the answer was simple.

The man who poses a threat to all of us and could either be our downfall or our victory is Xu Donghai.

He is the problem.

And he must be dealt with.

••••••••

I couldn't wait to finish the last two chapters. I'm getting closer to writing the chapter I reeeeeaallly can't wait to write out completely. But heyy y'all. A lot of things happened with Mo Lian Tan but I still gonna keep his qualities. A lot of people had different theories about him being Zian's brother or the actual Emperor, which were actually good cause I considered it even and was deleting and rewriting words but I kept to the original plan I have for him. It will play out.....however way it goes💀