I was far from queen like when I snatched the paper from his grasp. I had seldom seen Leo's writing but I knew the short jagged lines to be his.

"How did you get letters here? Wouldn't they have to go through the queen?" I demanded, not allowing my eyes to even skim.

"We spent a fair amount of time having pigeons trained to find ships, this one in particular. We just took the same pigeon that delivered letters to the queen and trained it to come to the ship instead. I know you may be loyal to her, but she is not an advantageous middle man." he explained.

I took a deep breath, dying to know what the letter said but afraid to give my eyes a chance to read it. If it was enough to keep him awake at night, what would it do to me? "I'm scared. Jacob, I'm so afraid of so many things right now."

He tipped his head back, staring at the stars above. I wished that I could read him then, but his voice was even and the curve of his mouth revealed nothing. "We are all worried, Ember. These are hard times that no one saw coming. I won't tell you what is going on if you don't want to know. Ignorance can be bliss. I think you deserve a little bit of that."

"But I'm not ignorant enough to believe that nothing is going on. Not knowing is eating at me. It keeps me up at night."

He only shrugged his big shoulders. So, I made my own choice and read.

Jacob,

I hope that you are well. I worry about you constantly. You may be talented with a blade, but those sirens are beyond anything either of us expected.

But I am not writing to you to tell you that I am thinking of you, unfortunately. You see, things have gone from bad to worse since you left. The fairies are convinced that war is the only way, not that any of us find that surprising. What is surprising is that they rallied the trolls on their side. Though I knew that trolls weren't on our side, I never thought they would join the fairies. They must be enraged to come out of their neutral position.

Our people are against me just the same. They feel that there was no punishment delivered, that I was too weak to do something permanent. They fear that I am ruled by emotions. I was on the brink of losing support. Thankfully, Archer has joined the battle, coming on our side and he helped me convince the towns people to evacuate the surrounding area. We both know the fairies want anything that glitters and is gold. I'm okay was sacrificing my riches if it means saving some lives. Archer will also fight beside me in two days' time. I told him to stay away, both for his sake and his wife's sake. He refused and I'll be glad to have him beside me in Valemont Valley.

I wanted to tell you that you may have to prepare for what we always feared. And I am ordering you to stay on the island until you receive word that the battle is over.

Take care of her.

-Leo

I read the later at least half a dozen times before handing it back to Jacob. The tone was heavy, the words ominous. That was not to be denied. However, there was still much unknown and the reality was that nothing had happened yet.

And he had asked Jacob to take care of me. Unless he had meant someone else, but I couldn't fathom who. The fact that he had wrote about me, even in such a tiny part, warmed my heart. Was he worried about me? Did he still care? Did he have a gut feeling that I hadn't slaughtered his brother without cause?

"It sounds like everything is alright," I said carefully. "He wants us to stay here, that's okay."

Jacob scraped a hand down his face. "That is because you don't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

"For one, werewolves seldom jump into wars aside from their own. Werewolves are the tie between humanity and the supernatural creatures. Historically, whenever they step in, it is because they are trying to keep a balance. Them stepping in to help the humans can only mean that the humans are at a severe disadvantage."

"But surely, Leo would want his right hand man with him if things were going really sour."

"It may seem that way," Jacob sighed. "But there are two reasons I get left behind at times like these. One reason is that I'm no use on the battle field. If anything, I'm actually a risk."

I snorted. "You're lying. You taught me how to fight. You are teaching my sisters how to fight."

He shook his head. "Technique has always come easy to me. I'm good at swinging a blade when I know that the men and I are going to share a beer afterwards. It's needing to use those skills that is hard. I have killed one person. That is it. And seeing the light fade from their eyes, listening to them gasp for air, to call for their mother, Ember it haunts me to this day. He was trying to kill me and it still lives in my nightmares."

My gut twisted so hard that I had to suck back a gasp. "I understand," I whispered, because God, I did, more than I ever wanted to.

"I can never hold a blade to another human being. Taking a life, even when necessary, almost killed me too. Now, when I'm on the field, I fumble, I hesitate. I will get myself killed out there."

It was haunting and each word was making me feel sicker, but it was too late to stop now. "And the second reason?"

"If Leo dies, I'm the last one to take the throne, the only one that he has named to take his place."

My heart stuttered immediately. I wondered if I should dart to the side of the boat to vomit my seaweed and crab dinner. But my legs wouldn't carry me and I couldn't force my mind to communicate with the rest of my body. I deflated. 

The four words that I thought would give me hope for days suddenly meant nothing.

"What do we do, Jacob?" I whispered.

His arm fell around my shoulder, pulling me into his side and placing a kiss on the top of my head. "We pray, Ember."

Praying was not enough that night. After Jacob insisted we try and get some rest, I returned below deck and beneath the blankets. Oceana hardly stirred. The next morning I felt as if I had only slept a single wink. I joined my sisters for breakfast, but felt nothing. I hardly moved when Amaya asked me to help her collect eggs from her chickens.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, her fingers touching the back of my hand that was numbly cradling an egg.

"Would you be?" I shot back.

We didn't speak much after that.

Afterwards, Oceana tried to meet my eyes as I mended my clothing. I ignored her. During the battle practice, River sneered at me as I sat on the sidelines, saying something about me being useless as she often did now. I didn't doubt that if Jacob and the queen weren't here, she would have commanded the water to drown me. I skipped supper, exhausted from all of the wandering eyes. I took a book with me, pretending like I would be spending the evening reading by the sunset, but when I perched on the rocks my hands went limp and the book fell into the water. I watched the tide wash it away.

When did Jacob receive that letter? Was Leo fighting now? Was Archer preparing for war right beside him, armed with a bow and arrow, ready to let it loose on anyone who crossed them? Would Willow ever forgive me if she lost her husband to a war I started?

Would I forgive myself?

Was Leo even alive right now? Was he bleeding out on the battle field, alone and afraid?

A strangled sound left my lips, so rough and hoarse it felt like it was choking me. But a great noise stopped me, the tears rimming my eyes but unshed. In the distance there was a black triangle slicing the ocean. A dorsal fin. Then another one appeared, releasing a massive breath into the air. A chirp could be heard as they communicated with each other.

The black fish.

Leo had called them killer whales. He feared them unlike he had ever feared anything before. The panic in his eyes when I had disclosed that I had been swimming with them was like nothing I had seen from him. A fierce predator in the water, feared by humans and sea dwellers alike.

But the beautiful beasts were not like sharks, they had to breach. They had to breathe in air just like I did. One of the most powerful swimmers, an animal that could be called the king of the sea, needed to break the surface to survive. The most successful creature in the ocean seemed as if it had not be designed perfectly, but the combination of both worlds is what made it perfect.

The combination of both worlds is what made it the perfect beast.

I rose onto shaky legs. And dove into the water that I thought hated me.

~~~Question of the Day~~~

What is your favorite trait that you possess?