Jacob was right. The next morning came a little easier. It didn't mean that I got off the ship with happy skips and a bright smile and it certainly didn't mean that River apologized for trying to attack me. I'm sure she and some of the others still wanted to cause me great suffering. The tension was heavy and felt just as deadly, the boundaries were set. Jacob was here to protect me, to protect all of us. My sisters may have been fearsome warriors, but they were unpracticed and realistically had no idea what they were up against. A single sword was enough to frighten them into submission.

Any of the rage that still remained seemed to be channeled into training. The queen approached Jacob, asking for assistance in preparing the girls should the worst happen. He was hesitant – as any human would be – because everything he taught could be used against him and the men he trusted. But the unfortunate reality was that he had chosen to stand by the sirens and the sirens were now sitting ducks, just waiting what might befall us.

Late at night, while Oceana snored beside me, I heard Jacob say that if he learned how sirens worked and saw the true extent of their abilities, he could find a way to defeat them if need be. His men seemed content with this and training commenced.

The first day was nothing more than a display of power. Girls compelled girls. Water was whipped about. There was even a race to see who the strongest swimmer was. And each event seemed to horrify Jacob more and more. I wondered what must have been going through his head then, watching the impossible happen right before his eyes. Women channeled water to force others to do their bidding. The ocean swelled and collapsed for girls no older than twenty. And bodies darted through water so quickly it was almost as if they were fish themselves.

But, like any good general, Jacob pressed on through the shock and awe. He carefully instructed girls, showed them blades and cannons so they would not be afraid, taught them how to wiggle out of strong holds and how to maintain safe distances.

And through all of this, I sat on the sidelines. Obviously, I could not compete with my sisters. They had true power that could cause immense damage. But when it came to the more human side of fighting, I eagerly leapt up, prepared to do my part. Prepared to be involved again, instead of just allowing everyone to eye me up like some kind of disease-ridden creature.

But this was not to be. I could be with child and therefore had to be careful, could not risk myself for anything. It was then that all of the women shared their stories. Each time I complained about a headache or a sore back, they told me that they had felt the exact same way through their time. They insisted that I was carrying royal blood and that no harm – or even activity – was to come to me. As much as I was hated, I was fawned over in these moments. It had been so long since anyone had carried a child that I was something of a natural wonder. Hands were placed on my belly, invasive questions were asked about things seldom talked about, and laughter was shared among the older generation that had already had children.

The younger girls were excited too. Never before had they seen pregnancy and few of them could remember ever seeing babies as we had all been born so close together. They giggled about the possibility of holding a child in their arms, all of them offering up name suggestions and guesses on the sex.

Then I was told about the great pain of childbirth, but when I looked stricken everyone assured me that it was simply not so bad – even the girls who had not yet had child. That it would all be worth it. Besides, there was great discomfort that I would have to deal with before that, like swollen feet, sickness, and pains in every part of my body. I was apparently up for nine to ten months of suffering.

I was horrified. And I was scared. Scared beyond what I had been when River lunged at me or when the people in the church finally heard my secret. Scared beyond what I had been while walking down the crowded streets, knowing that my future was completely out of my hands.

I know what they all saw this as. They all thought that all would return to as it was if I was with child. They thought it would save them.

But I could only think that I would have to do all of this alone. That I would be raising a child, alone. If Leo turned his back on me, refused to acknowledge the child, then I was damning them to the same purposeless life that I had. And that sound infinitely worse than screaming through childbirth. How was I supposed to hold a little boy or girl and tell them that I was the source of all of the suffering on this island? How was I supposed to raise a child that was fit for a throne when I only had stones and water to offer?

Then my monthly bleed came. The reactions varied among girls. Oceana, who had read my distress was silent and steady for the first time since we had arrived. I was sure she knew that I didn't want, nor was I prepared for a child.

Others were distraught. Some girls screamed at me, accused me of intentionally trying to rid myself of the child. Some of them simply burst into tears. The fact that I cried as well seemed to help my case, as if my tears were of sadness and defeat instead of relief.

It was then that one of the girls offered up her brilliant idea. "We could force one of these men to impregnate her."

I was stunned into silence. What a vile, wretched thing to do. How could she even reasonably suggest it? But when I looked at the others for support, I saw that their silence came from pondering. Some even eyed the men up. Jacob was immediately out of the running on account of his black skin, another for his midnight hair and almond shaped eyes. But two of them had lighter eyes and fairer skin.

"You can't be serious," I blurted when I saw the queen studying them. Did she not see that their jaw lines were wrong, that their hair hadn't gotten curly? And beyond that, did she not hear how awful it was?

"This could work," she mused, mostly to herself.

"You're being absurd! I am a human being, not a horse or a cow. They are loyal to the crown!"

"We can compel them into the act then into silence."

"They are not your pawns!" I sputtered. "They aren't even your subjects! If this is how choose to behave then it truly is no wonder that humans want nothing to do with us."

Darkness flashed in her eyes. "I'm trying to keep my girls alive! That's more than I can say for you!" the queen lashed, her normally calm disposition slipping. Hands clenched into fists and jaw working, she jammed her eyes shut. "We are running out of options, Ember, and we are running out of time."

"Forcing someone to father a child or carry a child against their wills should never be considered an option," I said lowly. "All you have tying you to the human realm is me. Should you choose to try something reckless, I will be more than happy to jump into the ocean and never come back. These men are here for us. Never disrespect them again."

Thankfully, that was enough to dissolve the conversation, for now. But I knew that this was not the end. They needed to get on main land and if they had to hurt some people to do it, then so be it.

I continued to sleep on the ship as did Oceana. I wasn't sure if she made the choice out of fear or to show that she had also picked her side. Regardless, it was comforting to have her there, snoring away as I stared up at the wooden beams overhead.

But tonight was not a good night. I was furious and hurt. How could my own queen suggest such a thing? These men had come here under Jacob's orders. They were here for us, not for themselves. They were a gift and should be treated as such, not something to throw away and scoff at. Certainly not something to use and manipulate.

I tossed aside my covers, suddenly feeling as if they were too heavy. On bare feet, I padded away from the beds and up the stairs, mindful of where the wood had begun to splinter. After pushing open a hatch, I was greeted by the sight of stars and the sound of gentle waves lapping at the edge of the boat.

But I was not alone. A lantern shone brightly, resting on a crate beside a sprawled body holding something.

"I thought you loved your sleep," I murmured softly, approaching Jacob. With a great huff, I plopped my weary body on a barrel beside him. "I'm sorry for what the queen said if that is what is keeping you awake. She had no right."

"You didn't say it so you certainly don't have to apologize for it," he replied, but his dark eyes were still working over the piece of parchment in his grasp. "To be honest, it made a few of the men respect you more. It has been hard for them to come here, to blindly trust me when so much is uncertain. But you rallied for them when no one else could."

"Then why don't you sound happy? This is the biggest success we have had since we were kicked off mainland." I felt like toasting with some of the bad beer we had on board. The men liked me? Hell, I wasn't going to ask for anything more as long as they didn't want to gut me like a fish anymore. "We should celebrate, just the two of us."

"I'm afraid we have the least to celebrate because Leo sent me a letter. Its worse than we thought."

~~~Distraction Section~~~

I missed my update! I'm sorry y'all!

The good news is that I will update tomorrow to compensate.

The bad news is that it is going to be my last update for a couple weeks.

Why you ask? I'm getting my fourth book published!!! If you are following me on Insta, I'll be posting a reel shortly hinting at which of my works it is!

Question of the Day: Do you prefer hanging out with introverts or extroverts?