(I'm having to write this on my phone as my laptop is broken, so sorry if there's any mistakes. Enjoy)

ARTY'S POV
Remus ignored me all day. I tried attracting his eye in multiple classes, and either he wasn't interested in paying notice to those obvious calls for attention or he was too focused on bouncing his quill rhythmically into his ink an obsessive amount of times to notice my stares and awkward smiles.

Something was off. The way he almost strutted around the halls, the boys by his side barely keeping up with his long strides.

At Lunch he polished off, not only his own large plate of food, but Frank and Marlene's left overs. No one seemed perplexed by his sudden change in attitude.

He had picked the skin around his fingernails off red raw; peeling and scratching at the pink skin at any moment he didn't have something to occupy his hands. A few times Alice and Peter swatted his own hands from attacking themselves, but again...no one seemed to see a difference.

Little habits that I hadn't even known I had noticed seemed to be gone.

The way he cracked his neck and rubbed at his shoulders, like clockwork, every half hour. Vanished and replaced by relaxed shoulders and posture my mother would be proud of.

A lop sided shy smile, one that didn't hold much meaning other than feeling content with company was replaced by a straight line and obvious signs he was biting the inside of his cheeks to contain a grin. One that didn't read happy though, almost... like his body was stressed, though his eyes read of someone dangerously relaxed.

I knew a similar look.

Bellatrix had it when she felt on top of the world, after doing something that would make others feel like they should be buried deep beneath it. A glint in her eye, a contained smile, slightly raised eyebrows (as if she knew in herself that she was better than everyone else in the room with her) and restless body. Bouncing, dancing with the wind that threaten to push her down.

I knew a similar look.

Andromeda and I used to call it "The liquid luck of the lost". When you feel like you have nothing to lose from unleashing the madness from within. When there's nothing left that can stop you from feeling untouchable, or at least a moment of confusing the truth of what you have to lose with nothing of importance. The bravery of the lost.

It always comes crashing down though, always. Bellatrix always had an almighty comedown from these moments of "luck" from within. Never puzzling together that each time the consequences to her actions would surface when the fuzz of "liquid luck of the lost" would evaporate from the witches brain.

Unpredictability is something I'm scared of. Fear. Unpredictability, in my experience, never resulted in a scenario that didn't fuel the nightmares.

Remus' behaviour (though not threatening to anyone) was unpredictable and that mad glint in his eye is something I cannot unsee. Fear told me that his comedown is one I don't know how to deal with.

*
Dinner was finally here, lessons over. Robes replaced with knitted jumpers. Students slumping their way with rumbling stomachs to the hall for hot food and drink.

I felt unsettled. Perhaps it was because of Remus but I knew that because the others had such low energy in comparison to how they usually do, that didn't help.

"Honestly, I'm so tired I don't think I'm going to be able to eat" yawned Peter.

"You'll find a way to shove something down your throat Pete" Sirius sleepily laughed, looking just as beat as Peter did. Peter swatted him.

"Is that a fat joke?" Peter huffed though you could tell he was just testing Sirius. A cheeky smile plastered on his flushed face.

"You're not fat, Peter! Sirius is just jealous you actually have a backside and not a bony arse." Protested Lily and linked arms with the slightly smaller boy. Peter's face became a soft shade of purple.

"You've been staring at Peters arse?" James piped up, stopping dead still in front of them both. Lily and Marlene started laughing, turning to look at each other.

"What do you think us girls talk about when we're alone ay Potter?" Marlene winked and slapped James' bum causing him to jump upright and give a little jog away pretending to be all shy.

"We thought you probably spoke about how unattractive they all are, excluding me obviously" Sirius laughed. The girls and shook their heads at his response.

Remus' mouth formed a smile properly for the first time that day, a half sided smile. A pop of a dimple and showing his one small twisted tooth. But he looked down at his feet, again for the first time today, he didn't look confident.

"They do." Remus said dryly a puff of air escaping his nose like a silent laugh. His eyes quickly lifting to find mine staring at him as we all walked to the hall. He looked me up and down, in a way to assess my body language, before looking away entirely.

That's when I remembered. The creak on the stairs the night before.

"James...probably." Lily told me. She was wrong. James didn't hear a word. Remus did and he was subtly letting me know that he heard what happened. Remus knew what I had said. Remus heard himself that I had practically called him ugly...in a kind way. I'm sure it didn't feel kind to hear it that way though.

I stopped and fell behind the group, letting them walk ahead of me. Frank turned around, noticing me no longer by his side.

"You alright?" He asked and motioned his head to follow again. I shook my head and smiled lightly.

"Frank, can you tell the others I've decided I'm far too tired to eat, I'll just have to have a big breakfast tomorrow. I'm sure they'll understand!" I fake laughed. He went on to catch up with the rest of the group who had by now slipped into the crowd, making their way into the hall for food.

I wasn't too tired to eat, the dull ache of my stomach making it known it was actually hungry. But I couldn't sit close to Remus with his attitude right now and knowing he had heard me be so dismissive over the thought of him, made me feel really bad about myself. I had been the cause of his change.

"Honestly, like I said Remus is cute. He's cute because he's really nice but I'm not attracted to him at all!" I laughed.

I laughed.

How does that sentence come across to someone who overhears?

'He's a nice guy so I can't say he's ugly, cause that would make me look bad...but I'm not attracted to him AT ALL'

Those two words ending the sentence with a sharpness. Followed by a laugh. It sounded like I laughed at him. I didn't mean to laugh.

I found myself knocking on the kitchen doors and finding my way to the corner table the kitchen elves had previously shown me to.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Miss" one of them shouted, head inside a cupboard, clearing away from preparing dinner.

"Can I ask you guys a question?" I mumbled, whilst being given a plate of food that was rejected from the dinner spread (though tasty, just not the prettiest presented).

"Of course Miss.Arty, what may we help you with? Culinary questions?" Flumink, an older elf asked. Looking up from her spot wiping dusted flour from the surfaces.

"No actually, I was wondering- uh- how would you approach apologising to someone for calling them unattractive? Rather a sensitive comment to make about someone" I asked, scoffing food in my mouth to play off comfort.

"You could just say you didn't mean it, Miss?" A younger elf spoke up. His head popping down under the counter when Flumink gave him a stern look.

"Do you find this someone unattractive? No point in lying to save your back. But this is all just my opinion remember Miss. Arty" she said in a wise tone.

"I wouldn't be lying if I said I didn't mean it, but at the same time I did. It's complicated." I sighed.

"How can it be complicated?" She questioned again, whilst cleaning up some food I had accidentally managed to get onto the table.

"Because he's not...unattractive I mean" my face began to feel flushed.

"But you had said this someone was?" Flumink questioned, organising spices on the shelf next to me. Never looking me directly in the eye.

"He's different" I stated, sounding more like a question to myself. Unsure sounding. There was a pause for Flumink to answer. She scratched her chin to find the right words but before she could, I had finished my plate and was up on my feet with embarrassment.

"So sorry for the silly questions, thank you so much for your help. I'll just say I didn't mean it, thanks" I smiled towards the younger elf that spoke up earlier and quickly rushed out of the room.

I closed the door firmly behind me, my eyes squeezed tight. Why was I making this situation so difficult for myself? What exactly was confusing me?

"Ah Miss. Black" a soft voice sounded, footsteps approaching the kitchen doors. My eyes snapped open to meet-

"Headmaster- Professor Dumbledore, Sir. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here" I panicked. He smiled in response and licked his lips.

"It's hard not to follow the smell of the wonderful food this school has to offer- " he smiled down at me through half crescent shaped glasses "wise that smell brings to you to the kitchens instead of the grand hall. You know-" he leant in and lowered his voice. My body pressed up against the door with fear I'd be punished.

"- you didn't hear this from me but old Flumink makes a fantastic lemon sherbet soufflé. She loves to make it too, if your ever fancy something sweet" he winked at me like a grandfather from old story books, encouraging bad behaviour. I nervously laughed.

"I'll be sure to remember that Professor Dumbledore" I smiled and opened the door lightly for him to pass.

"Oh and Miss Black?" He questioned before I could run off. I hummed in response.

"We often neglect the feelings we don't know how to explain. Different can be a wonderful thing when not feared. Learning doesn't only need to happen within classroom walls, if there's questions unanswered, one only has to ask. Perhaps the unknown is what we've always been seeking." And with that he gave a slow nod and closed the kitchen door behind him.