(Comments really do fuel me tbh, I love seeing how people are interacting and responding to each chapter. Makes me laugh so much)

The morning was clear with a summer breeze that allowed the birds to drift effortlessly across the sky. Stillness sounded throughout the house until happy birthdays were to echo around the walls. Regulus' sixteenth birthday. The only member of the black family still at Hogwarts, coming back home as a birthday "treat". The house was prepared for his arrival since two nights prior. Reggie was now older than Sirius when I last saw him. Which didn't feel entirely real or possible.

My punishment which led me to leave Hogwarts lessened once I hit the two year mark, actually being allowed to participate in family meals and speak to my sisters and cousin when they came home for the holidays...though my face was still burnt from the tapestry 

"What's done, is done." my uncle would say whenever I glanced in its direction.

Years had passed and all had been forgotten about the incident by the outside world, including probably forgetting about me. I had become the forgotten Black sister once again. I was back at the beginning of my journey.

My days consisted of assisting with watering the plants and sweeping surfaces; Mother taking an interest in herbology last spring and purchasing a small greenhouse in our box sized garden to study plants, specifically poisonous or medicinal species and what their properties may be.

The house elf became my consistent form of communication, though unwillingly. The new house elf (that was hired after the one I released, that caused me to go to Hogwarts in the first place) was stubborn and traditional, often mean and reluctant for my help...which I was still expected to offer and provide regardless. Kreature was his name and he made sure to keep a watchful eye on me during my two years of confinement, being given the task to make sure I didn't wander the halls whilst adults weren't present. He was strict with it and took his roles very seriously.

I had almost become the perfect daughter. Seen and not heard. Crocheting, playing piano and reading in my spare time. With each silent day where I didn't voice my opinion or step outside boundaries, I was allowed more freedom.

The more I could do, the more I was able to distract myself from the sadness that still screamed to be recognised, most days.

Four notebooks of scribbled thoughts later and I feel I have almost rationalised my pain away. I'm aware of how much I have grown up if I re-read the first entry.

The truth is, I don't recognise the girl who fought to go to Hogwarts. I wouldn't recognise the people she met, and I probably wouldn't have clung onto those relationships if I were to have met them under different circumstances, if I were to meet them now. Which feels both devastating and liberating. 

I look back and I'm bewildered by the intensity of it all. I didn't even make it to Christmas, only spending a total of three and a quarter months away on my own and around the people who I became obsessive with for years...and I was more confused than I have ever been in my life surrounded by it all. I don't think I know who I am now, but it's nice not to feel the enormous pressure to live up to my own expectations of what Hogwarts was meant to represent.

It was all far too intense for me to go through, I didn't understand crushes and sexuality and how to fit into a friendship group. I didn't know when the appropriate time for sarcasm was or what was expectable behaviour. Clearly...seeing how everything ended. 

I was fourteen with no experience of friendship or what it meant to be an unsupervised teenager. To think I loved someone and would have been loved in return within three months was a clear sign of how my hormones and emotions ran away with me. I was naive and reactive and ... not ready for it all. I was far too scared to have been dropped in the deep end like I was, and I think that the situation played out exactly how my parents envisioned it to. 

The only reason I must have been sorted into Gryffindor was probably down to my foolish belief I could survive within a world where I wasn't told what to do at every point in the day, how to behave, what to say, who to speak to, who to be interested in.

I'm eighteen next week, probably not going to receive the same graciousness as Regulus will today but I have been promised freedom outside of the house. 

I have had the occasional trip to Diagon Alley with my mother, strictly within term time to avoid the crowds of students, but I have never allowed to leave the house without permission and a chaperone. This was going to change now that I'm to be a legal adult and the thought of that freedom felt a little daunting. Especially considering how an ounce of freedom made me behave in the past.

I wandered downstairs to follow the now sounds of celebration.

Regulus had set down his truck in the corridor for Kreature to take and was giving firm handshakes to his father and mine.

The last time I saw him was around Christmas break (it now being close to the summer holidays) and he had gone through an additional growth spurt since then.

He started growing out his hair last year, dark ringlets now reaching his collarbones. He tied back half of his hair most of the time as he hated it in his face, yet still refusing to cut it short again. He had inherited similar hair to Bellatrix, though less frizzy. He stood taller than what I remember Sirius being, but they looked extremely similar. You couldn't not notice the brotherly similarity. Regulus carried himself differently though. I met Sirius when he was fifteen, proud of being obnoxious and controversial. Reggie was calm and collected, you could almost mistake it for snobbery if you didn't attempt to speak to him. At first glance and within the first impression during conversation, Regulus was everything the Black household stood for, and you could tell the older generation were thrilled he would be the next representation to carry on their lineage. Hence the birthday celebrations.

I didn't know what Sirius' beliefs were anymore, as they could have changed and developed with age. They'd all be nineteen about now and no longer at Hogwarts. But Regulus, Narcissa and Bella all shared the learnt belief that they were to continue the pure-bloodline. In all honesty, I had the feeling I wouldn't get much choice to decide and live by my own beliefs. This slightly worried me, knowing I was turning eighteen next week. Young marriage and having babies was a thing of pride within most pureblood households. It was expected to keep within the same social circle and build stronger bonds between powerful households. Arranged marriages were very common in other words.

Bellatrix had been arranged to join the Lestrange family. Currently parading around France. She never found a suitor on her own account and so her future was arranged for her. Surprisingly she didn't kick off about it, as we all were anticipating. A counter curse for almost every object and spell being learnt before approaching the conversation of the arrangement to her. She simply asked how much money the Lestrange family had, what was expected of her and would she then have a property in France?

If rumours are true, there's been little faithful behaviour between the new fiancés. Simply marrying for power but playing separately. Father exclaimed he didn't need to know, nor cared what she was up to within her relationship. If she was married into a respectable family that was all that mattered.

Narcissa and Lucius are still together, though not engaged...although again there are rumours he's bought a ring. Our family wont and has no need to interfere with their relationship. 

"The Malfoys are a proud pure blood family, we're proud of your choice" I've heard them tell her and so I believe they're just letting the relationship evolve authentically. They've always been childhood sweethearts and the likelihood of that changing is small.

Me on the other hand, I'm the same as Bella...I have no romantic prospects and so the probability of an arrangement within the next coming years is strong. I've often wondered whether they'd bother making a success story out of me though. Sending me off to another proud pure blood family to fuel their obsession with powerful connections. 

I doubt there'd be any family willing enough to accept me as their own.

"Happy Birthday, Regulus" I smiled at him, waiting on the edge of the staircase for everyone to pass by. Everyone ignoring me bar Narcissa who lightly tugged down on my dress, adjusting it to a more 'acceptable' length as she walked by.

Regulus courteously nodded at me with a polite smile.

I can't believe he's now older than Sirius.

Older than when I last saw Sirius, I mean.

Older than I was when I went to Hogwarts.

"Are you coming to join us?" Narcissa snapped me out of it, elegantly walking out of the kitchen to meet me in the hallway.