REMUS' POV

"I have you know I spent weeks trying to find a charm that reversed the damage to your burnt-out portrait and I have you know I spent months punished for defending your name AND I have you know I spent years locked up inside, unable to go to school and live my own life because of you" Arty spat at Sirius, growing unbelievably pink in the face. I tried grabbing her hands, covered in mash potato to clean but she whacked my hands out the way each time, seeing her smudge the green scribbly ink swirling her name on the front of the envelope with food. 

My heart was thumping in my chest looking at her, understandably her face was filled with anger "All I asked for was just a bit of sympathy and you're too proud to even do that" Her eyes sunk and started glistening with angry tears, her cheeks started turning a blotchy red. She stormed out, padding along the floor a clump of potato falling off of her hands with each strong step.

I turned to face Sirius once Arty finally slipped out of the great hall doors, my eyebrows furrowed together.

"Sirius what was that about?" I calmly asked.

"She's done nothing to you-" Lily spoke up, obviously feeling as sorry for Arty as I did. She took over cleaning the table for me.

"If anything it sounds like she's entirely on your side and you won't even give her a chance" Lily sighed, gaining a groan of frustration from Sirius. 

"She hasn't eaten anything." I mumbled to myself, glancing over at her messy looking plate. 

"I'll bring her up some food later" Lily placed a hand on my arm reassuring me.

"She's probably used to starving, I wouldn't bother." Sirius shrugged shoving yet another huge amount of food into his mouth. Lily looked at him worryingly and then to James and Peter who awkwardly was watching the situation unfold. 

"and that makes it okay because?" she mumbled, not even noticing how James had now crept an arm around her shoulders.

"Pack it in mate" I mouthed at him and he reeled his arm away slowly, with wide eyes.

"I'm not saying it's okay, but she's probably used to the occasional skipped meal at home. Wouldn't be out of the ordinary." He shrugged and rolled his eyes at us, pushing his food around his plate.

"Don't you feel bad at all?" I quirked an eyebrow up, I quickly shoved a bread roll in my pocket. He didn't show a reaction, just carried on eating.

"I should go check on her, right?" I turned to Lily, already I found myself standing up.

"No, leave her alone for now" She sadly smiled and I sat back down, hesitatingly pouring myself another glass of pumpkin juice to get rid of the tight feeling in my throat.

"I don't see why you care so much?" Sirius scoffed, I could see guilt invading his stern looking face, something others found it hard to pick up on other than James and I.

"As much as you don't want to, you need to apologise." I poured him another glass of Pumpkin juice too, to try and keep this conversation civil. His expression softened, watching the juice flow into his glass. 

"I know" He sighed, running his hands through his hair "how was I meant to know she stuck up for me, when I wasn't there to see or hear it?" He sighed, his voice quiet.

"You weren't" I reassured him "But now you do, so you need to find ways to redeem yourself" I smiled softly at him, making sure he didn't seem forced to do something- otherwise he would make sure (even if he wanted to) not to do that something.

Lily's shoulders sunk with a sigh.

"Oh Remus, you're so mature" she beamed up at me. James eyed me up with a confused look.

"What the fuck?" he rolled his eyes "All I have to do to get your attention is act like a bloody Grandfather?" he looked longingly at Lily for her to give him some clue towards what she's looking for but she just shrugged him off.

"Oh fuck off" I laughed and levitated his bowl to his face, making his nose dip into the bowl of ice cream.

"I spoke too soon" Lily rolled her eyes and giggled "You're both dumb".

*

Dinner finished soon after the argument occurred and as a group we all plodded our way up to the common room. I was tugged back by James.

"Is that Arty girl okay?" He mumbled, deciding to ask about the situation away from everyone's listening ears. I shrugged my shoulders, not actually knowing the answer.

"Sirius feels bad, I saw" James nodded towards the dark-haired boy who was sulking ahead of the group, chatting with Marlene quietly.

"I know he does, rightfully so-" I nodded "We're gonna have to help him redeem himself." I locked eyes with James.

"How?" His face perked up with excitement, clapping his hands lightly with excitement.

"We're gonna have to plan something, aren't we?" I winked and James' face beamed but then fell quickly.

"If we get caught by McGonagall again and I'm the only one who gets detention, I'll be pissed." he tried to remain a frustrated look but broke out into a big lopsided smile again.

"How could you give this face a detention?" I smiled warmly, batting my eyelids and came to a halt abruptly.

"Quite easily Mr. Lupin, 10 points from Gryffindor- if I catch you lingering around these halls one more time I will personally send you back to first year where your mental maturity will finally make more sense" James imitated McGonagall's voice. My face fell as I saw the same woman approach James from behind.

"She's behind me, isn't she?" James sighed rolling his eyes and I nodded in response. He spun around on his feet, greeting her with a bow "Ah my favourite professor" He giggled.

"Is that so? I suppose you won't mind spending some time in detention with me tomorrow afternoon then will you Mr. Potter?" She raised her eyebrows. James' face fell.

"Mr. Lupin" Professor McGonagall nodded, giving me a quick smile and transformed into her animagus form and padded down the hall where we stood.

"Mother fucker!" James looked bewildered "How do you do it?" he grabbed both shoulders, shaking me violently.

"I, Remus John Lupin, never get up to anything bad" I dramatically gasped "So Mr. Potter I don't exactly know what you're implying?" I innocently smiled. James threw his head back with a huge groan. 

"It's not fair" He whined "You're literally the mastermind of our pranks" He complained.

"So you admit it then? I'm the smart one, the boss?" I smirked and James instantly straightened himself out.

"Not what I said at all Moony" He coughed, starting to walk again towards the common room.

*

We reached the others, scattering ourselves around the open fire, everyone warming their fingers and toes except me who's naturally pretty warm so the cold castle really didn't affect me that badly. I let Peter have the closest seat to the fire instead of me.

Sirius didn't join us, instead he slumped upstairs without a word.

"Should I go check if he's okay?" Marlene said once she finished watching him walk up the stairs.

"No, leave him be. He probably wants to go over a couple of things in his head before he speaks to anyone" I smiled over to her, she looked concerned for him and as much as they fought with each other I knew that Marlene really cared about Sirius and Sirius was always willing to defend Marlene at any given moment.

I wanted to take my own advice, I really did but everything was pulling me towards the girls' dorm upstairs to check if Arty was okay. She looked devastated and I knew she probably felt like the loneliest person in the world, which is why I bothered with her so much. 

I often feel like a lost cause;  full of multiple dead-end roads, whilst travelling with the many people in my life who have access to all sorts of directions that seem so out of reach for me. At times, I feel numb with sadness feeling trapped in a lifestyle that I wish I could end right then and there.

 I know James suffers from an obsessive personality that exhausts him to the point of breaking down occasionally feeling like no one understands his enthusiastic behaviour and constant need to be doing something at all times, including himself.

Sirius has always struggled with panic attacks that he knew how to hide worryingly well and we all (myself, James and Peter) knew that behind the jokes and the 'I don't care about anything but myself' exterior, he cared a greater deal than all of us combined but never learnt how to manage his emotions in a healthy way due to his life at home. He was learning though.

Peter occasionally suffers from spikes of social anxiety, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the scale of the school...but slowly he's getting better at managing crowds without going occasionally mute and anxiously giggly at the worst of times.

 Also I knew Marlene suffered from anger issues that she hated herself for not being able to control at points. 

Lily was more of a mystery and I think that's one of the reasons why James is so fascinated by her, but I knew something happened between her and Snape last year  that she's still incredibly unhappy about and she seems a little hard to become close to at times. Guarded.

Arty fit in perfectly with our group, we were the most confused bunch of outsiders together, keeping our own amount of self-hatred at a comfortable enough level not to have life changing melt downs. The loners being lonely together.

I wanted to involve her, show her that it didn't matter what background or history you have and it didn't matter how many issues you may have developed over the years, if you're fighting through your loneliness and issues with others, they may be able to fill gaps in your life that you need and you might be able to return the favour; helping you along a journey of your own self-improvement.

I knew that Sirius needed some space because I've learnt how he works over the years, but just because they shared some similar qualities I didnt know if Arty was okay by herself or if she needed someone more than ever in these types of situations.

I found myself on my feet and half way up the stairs before I registered in my mind what I was doing "Arty?" I lightly knocked on the door "Can I come in?".