I left in the morning, went home and completed all my chores. The dishes that were left stacked in the sink. The clean clothes pile that was left on my armchair, finally put away, some of which now on my body.

I enjoyed wearing Remus' clothes but it was nice to finally wear underwear that weren't small shorts.

I got ready for the pub, feeling confident and experimental. I wanted to do something fun, something out of my comfort zone. I had met nothing but unexpected milestones and wanted to meet another.

A little blue eyeshadow is nothing compared to sharing a shower with a boy, right?

I attempted a few times. Each time going wrong. I was never allowed to experiment with makeup before at home and all I had done in recent weeks is a lipstick close to my natural colour and learning how to put mascara on without getting it on my eyelids.

I wanted to look nice for Remus, prettier. Like I had bothered to get all dressed up.

In the end I gave up and ran upstairs to Sonny and Dorcas'.

I knocked and waited, though feeling impatient. A vibration in how I waited.

"Where've you been? Tried to knock for you last night to come over." Sonny answered the door.

"Sorry, I was with Remus." I said.

"I thought he was gone for the weekend?" He questioned.

"He came back early." I shrugged with a smile on my face.

"Things are still going well between you two then?" Sonny smirked and made a kissy face.

I rolled my eyes at him but couldn't help smiling back, because things were going great.

"Is Dorcas here?" I verbally ignored him.

"Dee, Arty's here for you." Sonny laughed at my rejection of his question and left the front door back into the living room, as Dorcas appeared taking his place.

"You alright?" She smiled, wiping her hands with a tea towel.

"I need your help with makeup. Please." I looked at her with a begging sense of hope.

She sucked in her cheeks, into an excitable pout. Threw the tea towel behind her and told Sonny she'd be back later.

We both got into my flat and she clapped her hands together with a sense of motivation.

"So what's the vibe? What are we going for?" She questioned, looking me up and down like a living doll.

"I just wanted to do some blue eyeshadow, nothing crazy. But it keeps looking smudged and weird." I said with a huff.

"Oh pfft, easy!" She laughed and sat me down on my dining room chair, where I had a small bag of makeup and a handheld mirror.

She began to dip the brush into the blue and blowing off some of the powder. Brushing it lightly on my eyelids in sweeping but short motions.

"I think you were trying to wing it out, I don't think that particularly works with this shade." She said with concentration.

"Yeah I kept thinking I looked dead." I laughed.

"I've been practicing fake freckles recently, do you want some? It'll be so cute." She offered, a big smile on her face.

I was absorbed by her fun, playful energy and accepted without hesitation, though I had no clue if I'd look ridiculous with them. It just felt nice to be paid attention to in this way by a girl, something I had imagined being friends with them would look like. Doing each other's makeup and hair. My inner child was beaming with joy.

She handed me the mirror and I took a look at myself.

I definitely looked fun and Dorcas had done a much better job than I could have. The freckles looked surprisingly real, but I couldn't help but feel like I actually looked a little childish. Which wasn't the intention I was going for.

"Do you think I look too young? I want Remus to think it looks cool." I said still looking at my reflection.

"Wait here." Dorcas said, before leaving mine and rushing back to her own flat.

Maybe I was trying too hard. I knew I didn't need all of this but I wanted to further find myself, I wanted to be perceived as more free spirited. Other than cutting off some of my hair and getting to decide what I wanted to wear, which honestly hasn't changed too much; I hadn't found my own style yet.

I wanted to feel as pretty as Remus made me feel, even when I'm alone or without him. I wanted to be perceived as brave and care free. Because I was beginning to feel perhaps that may be who I am, hidden under the layers of anxious thought patterns that had been beaten into me. The more separation I had from rules, the more I wanted to create my own. I could finally understand where Sirius' extravagance stemmed from. I could feel the urge to lean into myself without having to live up to certain expectations. To gain the attention from those around me. To feel confident within myself.

Dorcas came back holding up a pair of hoop earrings.

"Now, if we put these in." She said, adding a little 'bloop' noise to pushing through each earrings into my ears.
"And we undo this" she said taking my hair down from the ponytail it was in and fluffing it up.
"You look so fun! Very playboy, actually." She looked impressed.

"Playboy?" I asked, not knowing what the comment meant.

"Sexy but fun! Magazine girls." Dorcas explained.

I laughed at her and she admired her work.

I have never been called sexy before, and I didn't believe it at all...but a part of my enjoyed the comment anyway.

-

This Sunday I was meeting Remus and whoever else was coming alone at the leaky cauldron, instead of somewhere in Hogsmeade.

Which I preferred, as travelling by floo powder often made me feel a little bit sick for about twenty minutes after. I much preferred the walk, especially on a summers evening. August providing nothing but the most amazing sunsets, I didn't want summer to come to an end. September only two weeks around the corner.

I reached the pub and pushed through the door. Looking around for a handsome boy.

I saw him in the corner with James, Sirius and Peter.

I walked up to them with a wave.

"Hi!" I smiled.

"You look amazing! I love the change, very exciting." Sirius gave a tiny applause as I sat down next Remus in the spare seat he saved for me.

"Wait...what's changed?" James awkwardly mumbled. Sirius gave him a look of disapproval.

Peter smirked at me but I refused to let him make me feel insecure about my statement eyeshadow.

"Are those fake?" Remus gestured at my freckles.

"Dorcas drew them, don't they look real?!" I said with amazement.

"wait, you don't usually have freckles?" James said even more confused.

"Thank merlin we're not relying on James to describe you to authorities if you go missing." Sirius pushed his friends head stupidly.

"Well, let's hope she doesn't go missing regardless, ay?" Remus laughed at his friends.

"Do you like the blue?" I whispered to Remus as the others began getting distracted, talking about recent disappearances.

"It's nice." He smiled.
"But those hoops, yeah...they're nice, nice." He dramatically bit his bottom lip. I gave him a light playful slap to follow up my gleeful giggle.

"How's your body feeling?" I asked, starting to rub his back.

"Not too bad, it does feel odd, the spell wearing off and all but it doesn't hurt so that's good." He smiled down at me, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

"So," James smacked his hands down on the table, pulling us all into one conversation and all eyes onto him.

"Art." He raised his eyebrows at me. I pointed to myself in a questioning manner.

"Yes, you. We've all heard that you know about our friends furry little, but kind of big nahh...really just average sized, problem." He dramatised.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh, attempting to cover my mouth. He was so inappropriate.

"Uh, I'm a grower. I don't show off until I need to." Remus stared at James with a deadpan face. I didn't quite know what he meant.

"Once every blue moon. Let's not lie to ourselves. Size doesn't matter, remember? It's the motion of the ocean, boys." James said.

"Insecurity isn't cute, Remus." Sirius added.

I clocked onto what a 'grower' could mean. My mouth forming into the shape of an 'O' and my eyes widening with amusement. If that truly was the case, I was in danger. He had more than enough from what I had a quick glance at in the shower.

"The height fools everyone. Always disappointing." Peter added. All three boys laughed whilst Remus just kept an unimpressed expression, though I could tell he was actually amused too by the glint in his eyes.

"What James is trying to say, we need to have another talk about welcoming you into the marauders, don't we?" Sirius said with a cocky smile.

Peter started to frantically look between the boys.

"You guys didn't tell me about this?" He spoke up.

"You were fine with it a few years back?" Sirius gave him a look.

"We don't even do marauders stuff anymore? So what's the point?" Peter's voice sounded squeakier.

I remember being 'invited' into the marauders just before I was taken out of school. The boys secret club, which seemed really immature but fun. Cool nicknames and an instant loyalty to each other. It's how I knew I had officially gained their trust. We never got to discuss it, I never got to find out more about what it meant, before I was taken away. Feeling as if all was lost.

I was excited to learn more, even if they didn't do the same club things like Peter was saying. Attempting to protest against me joining, I assumed was about to happen.

"Exactly...it's just some fun? It's not like it's serious anymore." Remus looked at him questioningly.

"To you. I can't be arsed with this." Peter sulked, sitting up from his chair and leaving the pub without another word.

We all looked at each other in silence, a mixture of confusion and amusement surrounding his childish behaviour.

"He's never felt the touch of a woman. Poor bloke." James spoke out loud and we all broke the silence with laughter.

"Anyway, do you remember us mentioning the marauders?" Sirius asked.

"Your little club?" I asked.

"More like protecting our little cub" Sirius narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to sense if I was getting the very obvious point. James throwing a cutesy arm around Remus, with a little kiss on his cheek. Remus pushed him off.

"Lily and Marlene became honourable members at some point in time. We'd like you to be too. Finally." Remus smiled at me.

"Yeah, I'd love that. But what does it mean?" I laughed. Containing the excitement I should have felt back when I was fourteen.

Part of me felt as if I was healing with this funny conversation, having this inclusion and interaction I should have completed all those years ago. I felt as if I was being able to honour the young teenager that should have felt as giddy as I do now.

"We're animagi." Sirius said looking rightfully impressed with himself.

It was very impressive to successfully become and witch or wizard who was capable of such transformation at will. Not everyone could, no matter how talented they were.

"Which means we watch over Remus." James smiled brightly.

"My wolf form isn't exactly me. I'd attack the boys if they looked the way they do now." Remus awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
"But apparently the wolf side of me is friends with their animal form, for some reason? I don't attack them, I don't know why. Cause I do hunt other animals." He shrugged. I nodded interestingly.

I could tell that he wasn't entirely comfortable with talking about his transformations when jokes weren't incorporated into the facts he began sharing.

"We only join Remus when he asks us to, now. At school we did every time." Sirius added.

"I'm a stag. Pretty majestic, actually." James approved of himself.

"I'm a dog. A big black one. Cause I'm all bark and no bite and ...our surname. Thought it would be funny when I was younger, now I just look like a scary stray." Sirius threw his hands up a little, judging himself.  

I laughed a little at him.

"Peter's a rat." Remus added.

"That's not very nice." I responded, quick witted causing a big roar of laughter from James.

"Nice one." He approved.

"He can get in and out of most places. He drew the short straw, quite literally." Remus laughed too.

"The marauders, just means you know our secrets. You can be trusted. It's nothing more than that really, but it feels like a little family." James smiled.

"It's why Marlene and Lily didn't know how to approach you at times. She thought you were a safe person but we all just were making sure. Keeping an eye out. Lily was trying to get us to talk to you about it from the moment Remus took a fancying towards you." Sirius said.

Which made complete sense to their on and off again behaviour.

"But I thought, at the time, you'd expose us cause who really likes someone from our family? Not me, back then! However, seeing the blue eyeshadow today, you're forgiven." Sirius explained in a sassy tone.

"And then you were a bit anti-werewolf at one point and we were like," James said, pulling an over the top cautious face.
"We're all a bit protective over each other, that's the point."

I cringed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I fell victim to the book explanations." I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it." Remus gave me a reassuring wink and rested his arm over me.

Knowing that Lily and Marlene were trying to figure out if I'd respond well to finding out their groups secret, made me feel a lot better about how I was treated during my time at Hogwarts. It made their kindness seem less fake and more caught up in the moment. It made their hostile behaviour make sense, especially if I had voiced up my opinion on making werewolves known. Especially, if I didn't know how to comprehend many things, let alone the secrets of the marauders. Which came with getting to know Remus more deeply.  They were young too, which I never thought about at the time. Everyone felt so much older than me because of my lack of experience everywhere else. Most peoples energy intimidated me, instead of making me curious to learn from them. They were teenage girls who knew their friend was a werewolf and knew that I, a new girl, was interested in him and wasn't giving them much information about myself for them to figure out if that was safe. On reflection, they were probably actually quite forgiving with me given the circumstances.

"Marlene and Lily can't become animagi. They've tried. But when any of us need each other, we're here. It's just a name that means any trouble is looked after." Remus explained further.

"We can look after you too, if you want? Since you want to look after Rem." Sirius smiled, more authentically than jokingly like he had been.

"I'd love that, guys." I said, a warmth exploding in my chest.

"Then welcome to the marauders, kiddo." Sirius did a little head bow.

"Part two." James winked.

"It's about time." Remus said, leaning his head on top of mine.