Remus' POV

I was so tired, sleep trying to pull me in a number of times. I knew I should have let it take me. Arty lightly snored next to me, her arm heavier on top of me now that she wasn't conscious of being gentle. I liked the pressure, it felt amazing to be able to feel her so closely next to me.  A reminder that she was real, that the tiny snores weren't fabricated by my imagination.

The spell she had performed on me still was working, magnificently. A dull tingling sensation, like pins and needles, instead of the burning feeling that pained me before.

The spell, though great, was less magnificent than the impact she had on me though. She was the reason I wasn't succumbing to sleep. I didn't want to go to sleep and wake up to her changing her mind.

The embarrassment, the fear and the panic from finding out that Arty knew about me being a werewolf had almost been eradicated by her claim.

She was falling in love with me.

I didn't want her to change her mind. What if she woke up tomorrow and realised it wasn't love that she was beginning to feel? What if she had confused something else for love?

When she said it, I couldn't think straight. Words felt strained. What if she wakes up embarrassed because I didn't say it back?

I didn't say it back because I'm not falling in love with her.

I've already fallen.

I'm in love with her, already.

I fell in love with her the night she remet Sirius at Sonny's. The way she laughed and joked with them, the way she looked to me and enjoyed watching my reaction after new pieces of information was learnt. Just to react again when I'd confirm or deny.

I told her the truth earlier, I don't like being topless around people but that night I didn't think twice about it. I felt so confident in being seen and touched if it was by her. With other people I had never slept next to them, I always left. Simply sleeping next to someone always felt too intimate. I always kept a top on and was a strictly under the covers person. Around Arty I just wanted to be as close to her as possible. I felt safe being vulnerable. To act out of character, which oddly felt more me than previous behaviour. That night I just knew I needed to be next to her, close to her. I knew.

I never thought I was falling in love with her before that night. I didn't have a conscious thought about it. I did have a conscious thought revolving obsessing over her. Whether I confused falling in love with obsession, I'm not sure. When I saw her for the first time on the floor of the bookshop my mind ran away with me. I didn't stop thinking about her and when she walked back  into the shop and right up to me, it only intensified. I never thought about falling in love with her because it was so obviously inevitable. From the first moment I met her at Hogwarts I've been in the process of falling in love with her. So knowing I did love her came pretty quickly.

I couldn't reply that I was falling in love with her when I was already past that point.

I didn't want her to find out about my condition, which conflicted how vulnerable I wanted to be with her; I just wanted to live in my fantasy for a while longer. That I could have everything everyone else can. Love that isn't a threat, which my condition is.

No one had ever told me they were falling in love with me before tonight. I have never heard someone tell me they love me and it not be platonic. I had genuinely thought I'd never be on the reciprocating end of that conversation. Which made it so much easier to not pursue love. She found me though offering it, and it's complicated everything in the most wonderful way.

I wanted to push her away. To protect her. If I'm not living in the fantasy that I'm under control, that I'm just an average wizard- I have to confront the truth. That I am often a burden to care for. From mood swings, to severe injuries, I'm a lot to deal with. Chaos disguised by meticulous attention to detail and ruthless self control. Being seen for who I really am is terrifying because I'm not as kind as people believe.

I'm sick with jealousy, insecurity and anger. All things that don't translate very well in a relationship. All things that are heightened by transformations and when I'm not controlled by it, I am too drained to feel much of anything else at all.

I live a life of highs and lows and often the highs I experience are someone's definition of a low, or at least very neutral.

She deserved to not be a slave to the moon cycle. To not have to worry every time I have to go through what I do. I deeply appreciate her concern, but to think that she'd be signing up for a lifetime of it upsets me. It's a draining experience. One that my friends can detach from, but have altered their schedules to accommodate me regardless. Become animagus' for me. It's an intense responsibility to have, caring for someone like me. Arty deserved a life of freedom and laughter. Not preplanning and pain. A partner can't always take a step back like a friend can. Especially if you go into the relationship stage of living together and doing most things together. I'm a burden.

Despite knowing that love is complicated if I'm involved, I couldn't help but feel selfish for not wanting her to leave. I couldn't push her away because I'm so starved for affection. I crave it, I crave her. My desire to be loved outweighed how doomed I feel regarding it. I wanted to care for her the same way she rushed to care for me, putting all pride aside to show up for the other.

Eventually I was forced into sleep. My body not being able to cope with another level of tiredness but before I did I just smiled knowing that the beautiful girl next to me, wanted to love me.

-

I woke up to sun streaming into my room. The curtains now open and the feeling of Arty's fingers tracing up and down my arm. She was sat up in the bed, in one of my T-shirts, flicking through a random book with the other hand.

"Good morning." She smiled down at me, as my eyes still adjusted to waking up.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily. Feeling like I wasn't yet in the real world.

"About two." She replied.

"In the afternoon? I'm so sorry for keeping you inside! You should have woken me up." I said surprised. Attempting to get up. Arty gently pushed me back down.

"The spell. Don't cause more damage that you can't feel. You needed the rest, so don't apologise." She reassured.

I just felt extremely fatigue, instead of in pain. So I had forgotten about the bandaged area.

I looked at her, the stream of sunlight hitting her perfectly and illuminating her features. She had such beautiful big eyes. So kind.

I always dream. Even if it's a small, insignificant one. My brain never seems to shut off completely. I didn't dream last night, I just rested so deeply that I woke up confused but so refreshed. I wondered if she had anything to do with it, or if I just felt able to shut off and rest around her. She exudes peace to me.

"Thank you for staying with me." I said sincerely.

She looked at me as to say there was no need to thank her, but there was. The average person wouldn't sleep so soundly to the point of small snores next to someone they knew was a werewolf, and treat them with unconditional kindness as she did to me.

I let out a yawn and stretched, beginning to properly wake up and leaving that groggy state of mind.

"I need a shower." I admitted out loud after catching a whiff during the stretch.

"Can you with your cuts?" She asked curiously.

Truthfully I knew I shouldn't shower whilst healing, but I always have done and it hasn't slowed down the process.

"A shower will feel good, and then we'll make something to eat? Have you eaten?" I asked.

"I haven't wanted to see Peter, he wasn't too thrilled with me last night so...no. Food sounds good." She admitted.

I understood why he was so blunt with her, the boys knew how people could potentially react to me. He was simply protecting me.

"I'll talk to him." I said.
"If I can't feel where it hurts, can you help me get up?" I asked, a little embarrassed but knowing that she wanted to be there to help.

She hopped up out of bed spritely. My T-shirt swamping her body. If was oversized on me, so on her it was a dress. She looked so comfy and attractive. I didn't know what it was but the fact she was in my clothes made me feel a rush of excitement.

She helped me get up, body part by body part. Until I was stood in front of her.

"I'll just wait in here for you. Do you need me to do anything?" She asked, already beginning to make the bed we had got out off as I began to walk slowly towards my door, my muscles aching and feeling strained.

"You can come in with me if you want, just sit and talk to me?" I offered, knowing how she might not know what to do with herself and before I knew it my whole room would be reorganised.

We wandered to my bathroom, Arty keeping close behind me. Locking the door behind us as we went inside.

I turned on the shower and waited a little.

"It takes a while to heat up." I mentioned.

I was already just in boxers, so didn't need to get unchanged.

"My shower gets too hot, sometimes." She replied.

"Alright, don't rub it in." I joked.

"You have a bit more life in your face today. I'm glad." She said softly.

"Sorry if I worried you, I just get really tired."

"That's why I let you sleep. You snore by the way." She smirked.

"So do you." I said back.

"No I don't!" She insisted and I laughed in response.

I placed my hand behind the shower curtain to check the temperature, it finally being warm enough to step into.

"Oh, sorry." Arty said realising she was just staring at me, turning around so that I could get completely naked.

I did and got into the shower.

"You can turn back around now." I said, poking my head out from around the shower curtain to see she was still facing towards a wall.

She turned around and ended up sitting crossed legged on the floor.

I walked underneath the water. Feeling my muscles relax a little under the heat. I let out a sigh of relief. Feeling the sensation of each stream of water individually instead of as one.

I was too tall for the shower head, having to bend down in a slouch to get my hair wet. I could feel my back muscles stretch as I did. Painful in a satisfying way.

"I'm sorry again if I overstepped any boundaries last night but ... thank you for letting me stay." I heard her say on the other side of the shower curtain.

"Thank you for not letting me push you away." I said honestly.

Perhaps she did overstep some boundaries, but how can you not when you're approaching caring for someone you know is lying to you. Those boundaries were understandably blurred. It was a complicated situation to be in and I didn't blame her for acting like she did. If anything she acted more understandably than I could have ever imagined. I never imagined her to be so accepting over me. Her bursting into my room wanting to care for me was if anything, very welcomed. Once I pushed aside my shame.

"That water sounds good." She said.

"It feels good." I replied.

"Could I maybe have one after you? Do you have a spare towel?" She asked.

I took a moment and reflected upon my instinct of what I wanted to say.

"Come join me." I said a little quieter than before. Not knowing if I wanted her to hear me or for it to be drowned out by the sound of the water.

"Really?" She said shyly.

"If you want to." I said.

I stayed still. Not wanting to look behind the curtain. Just listening for any sound of movement.

Next thing I could hear was the sound of the curtain being pulled back across the rail as Arty stepped into the shower. Which I couldn't see as I had my back turned to her.

"Here." She whispered. Taking my washing sponge from my hand, coming up from behind me and beginning to gently wash my back. Avoiding any graze.

I could feel my heart beat harder, but remain slow and calm.

I eventually turned around, looking deeply into her big expressive eyes. She looked shy. I probably did too.

I made her swap places with me so that she wasn't standing naked without warmth, watching the water wash over her bare body. Which was surreally beautiful.

Something that caught my eye was the stretch marks that wonderfully appeared around her hips and across her bum. White marks that almost mimicked my own faded scars. The light ones that didn't cut too deep. Marks I never viewed as anything special until I saw similar ones on her.

I watched as her hair dampened a shade darker and her eyelashes became dark and clumped together from the water droplets. She was angelic.

I couldn't help my hands from reaching out to her and touching her soft skin. From pulling her a little closer to me.

"What?" She smiled up at me, as I stared at her amazed by her beauty.

"You're absolutely gorgeous." I stated as if there was nothing else I could possibly say.

I kissed her. Holding her body against mine. One hand around the stretch marks and one finding its way behind the wet hair that rested thickly behind her neck.

I got lost in her. The aching in my body feeling underwhelming in comparison to how her lips against mine made my body feel. Her kiss making me relax more than the heat of the water.

I deepened the kiss, my tongue lightly reaching out to hers. I could feel her body pressing against mine, so soft and safe.

I felt her hands trail up and down my back, nails giving me gentle scratches, sending goosebumps to appear across my body.

I started to smile into the kiss. Pulling us out of the intensity of the deepness. I couldn't contain my happiness. The woman I loved was standing naked in front of me, kissing me after washing the parts of my body that I couldn't currently reach.

I felt so special.

"Let me wash your hair for you. I don't want you reaching too much." She pulled out of the kiss.

"I'd have to bend down and reach to wash it out anyway." I said, still feeling like I was on cloud nine.

"Then let's sit. There's no rules to say we can't sit in the shower." She smiled.

She guided me to sit down in front of her. Reaching out and grabbing the shampoo bottle. Beginning to massage the soap into my hair, her nails making my eyes instinctively shut or else they'd be rolling to the back of my head.

I felt like crying.

Crying out of pure joy that someone wanted to look after me this way. To touch me with such innocence. Not wanting anything from me other than my company. I didn't need to entertain her, to offer advice, to be someone to lean on...I just could exist and she was celebrating that with gentle touches and loving gestures.

I felt so loved.

"No one's ever made me feel the way you do." I quietly said, feeling high off of being so relaxed.

"Remus Lupin, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" She replied.

I turned my head to look at her, after she had finished washing out the shampoo with cupped handfuls of water she had collected.

"I feel so happy." I said emotionally. The feeling of crying out of joy prominent in my voice.

Arty smiled at me, the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Confirming I couldn't deny this love, even if I had always thought I could never put someone through loving me.

She was the one and meeting the one changes everything. Every expectation, every fear, every meaning.