Roxana

Too many beats a second. They feel like thunders inside me. I stare at the coffee cup. The darkness of the liquid mirrors a wide array of things; some real some imaginary. 

"Signorina, posso raggiungerla per cena?/ Miss, can I join you for dinner?" says a handsome man in his late thirties who must have observed me sitting alone for more than fifteen minutes.

The weather in Rome in early September is hot and sticky like hell or it's me and my profuse nervousness, or both.

"No, grazie, sto aspettando un amico./ No, thank you, I am waiting for a friend."

Right after saying this, my eyes meet the friend who just enters the restaurant and hurries to my table. It seems to me he is even more handsome than I had him in memory.  Instead of a hello, his lips press on mine and I can't help kissing him back.

"Sorry, Roxi, it's just, that I am really happy to see you."

"No, Marco, that's why I am here. I want to be with you. If you'll have me of course. I know it's difficult and -"

"Yes! Yes, it is, but I don't care. I'll figure it out somehow. I am just really happy right now! You look a bit troubled. Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Well... I still have guilt issues and right now I feel strange because of that. Please be patient with me."

He almost crushes me in a hug.

"Yes. You will get all the time and patience in the world. And anything else you want."

After more than a month, I get to sleep again in the villa of the Medici in Rome. it's an odd feeling. 

In the middle of the night, I sneak out from the arms of my sublimely gorgeous lover who only hugged me chastely the whole night because I said my mood is still ambiguous and I don't want to have sex. I lied. Or well, it's a half-truth.

I enter the bathroom as silently as possible and vomit for solid ten minutes everything I ate that day. No, I am not pregnant. It's anxiety and one might wonder how I ended up in this situation. Again.

Two days ago I was with my work colleagues on a hiking trip. Kary said it would be a good idea, to socialize, and meet new people. I did. His name is Luciano and he escorted me at gunpoint to his car, in the name of you will never guess... Stefano Messina.

Stefano was waiting for us in Germany. Not sure why there but he probably didn't want it to be neither Switzerland nor Italy.

"I have something for you, Roxana," he said looking at me with his Cheshire cat smirk.

"I am not interested in whatever you want to show me. If you kill me, Marco will find out and he will mind."

"I know he will. And I don't want to kill you, I want to hire you. Well, sort of. I want to propose you an exchange."

"I highly doubt you have anything I would want," I answer phlegmaticly.

"And here you are wrong. It was a lot of luck and a lot of effort too but I do have something you deeply desire."

If that's your dick, I'll pass. Was there, and it was disappointing.

I was looking at him still unimpressed when he signalled his bodyguards to open a door but I swallowed my words right after when I was faced with an image of a dream and a bit of a nightmare.
Dani was running towards me. He was skinny, pale, indeed missing two fingers of one of his hands but alive.

"Dani!" I cry out and feel like fainting.

"See. Told you. You could have been less arrogant, Roxana."

"How? What do you want?" I scream and run towards Dani to hug him. "Dani. You are alive. I will get you out of here," I whisper crushing him in a hug.

"Roxi! You are here! Please, please help," he cries.

"Take him away; I don't want her to be distracted," he says and Dani is dragged away while several guns are pointed at me.

"Release him now. What the fuck do you want?"

"Sure," he laughs. "Well, you see, me and Marco have a little animosity going on."

"But you told him you want peace."

"I lied. I want it somehow, though over his dead body. But the thing is, how can one kill one of the best assassins in the world, who is besides that severely guarded and always expecting a blow? Seems impossible. Two weeks ago, however, I was in a brothel of one of the Serbian clans. Since Alexei's last blow, they are kinda scattered running like henns. And there... I saw Daniel. His expression reminded me so badly of you that I just had to ask the owner who he was and ding ding ding jackpot. I had indeed seen his face before in the research regarding you.
Anyway, back to my point. How can you kill one of the best assassins in the world? You do it in the way he would least expect. With someone he really, really trusts. I don't know how you did that but that is only you."

"Wait... You... Want me to...?"

No. No. Please don't. Anything but that.

"Yes. His life for your brother's life."

"No. Please. Anything else. I can convince him to give you money, territory, I don't know, any mob stuff. But I can't kill him. I just can't."

"But you don't want Daniel to die, don't you? He suffered so much. I mean he was in a really bad condition when I found him."

"Ivan. Ivan said he killed him."

"Yes, but Ivan only thought he did. He sold him to Milan the Butcher and nobody gets out of his hands in one piece, so it was a safe assumption, but Milan was shortly in prison so the ...well,  butchering part was delayed. And here I am making use of what karma threw at me."

I feel like dying. Dani is alive. Dani needs me to save him. My little brother, but...

"Okay," I muttered thinking that I will figure something out, something but that.

"Now Roxana. Don't even think to tell Marco. I will know and Dani will die."

He signalled something and a guy came towards me, grabbed my arm and kept it in place on the table. A rather big needle was jammed into it and a small button was pressed under my skin.

"This is a microphone. I will hear everything you say. If you remove it I will assume that you betrayed me and guess what? Dani dies. If Marco makes a move in this regard I will also know, I have reliable sources. You have two weeks. Good luck to you."

"No!" I thundered. "If I do that for you, for the life of my brother, I need the guarantee that we will stay alive. You are well aware that Lorenzo will hunt us down and kill us. So it makes no sense for me to go through all that if we will die by torture a few days later. I want you to be ready to extract me at any time, whenever I tell you. I want new documents for us and a million euros. That or nothing."

"Okay..." he answered smiling.

Fucking die. I hope you will, slow, painful, and alone.

And here I am, searching for an occasion to murder the guy I like the most. I keep telling myself that he is a gangster and a murderer and he deserves it but despite these facts, it isn't any easier.

It's for Dani though, who doesn't deserve any of it. I love you Dani, I would rip my heart off my chest for you. I will ...

After a night of troubled sleep, I wake up to Marco smiling at me. I feel like dying.

"Pebbles, I am really sorry but unholy grampa wants me to deal with business today but I promise you we will do something nice in the evening, okay? I will make it up to you. Are you sure you are well? You look pale."

"Yes, don't worry." I fake a smile. "Go. See you in the evening."

The whole day is torture. How on earth can I do that? Mentally and practically.
If I do it, I will never come off the villa of the Medici out alive.

I want proof, send a photo, said the motherfucker.

When the door to the room opens again hours later I try to hide the crying mess that I am.

He sits down on the bed stern-faced and hugging me.

"You know I am here for when you are ready to talk."

I nod only.

"I thought you would welcome a more neutral environment so I was thinking we will fly to Paris tonight. What do you say?"

Paris. Far away from Grampa.

"Yes, I would love to."

They say Paris is the city of love, but the city of tears is more appropriate, I think, while we drive from the airport to the apartment near the Champs Elysees.

"No bodyguards?" I ask while we climb up the stairs to the penthouse apartment.

"No. I can take care of myself. They are in the city though, just in case," he says, untying a gun from his hip and putting it on the table, as if he is doing something very normal, like emptying his pockets of change.

"Okay..." I answer blandly, knowing what that might mean: that we are alone.

We step together into the suite and every damn table, counter, and top of anything has at least one white rose on it.

The tears just stream down my cheeks.

"I know it's cheesy and cliche but Kary said you like them and I thought it might just make you happy," he said kissing me on the lips.

I feel so lost and desperate so I sink into the kiss and tear at his clothes because I want to feel something that would silence my thoughts.

"Fuck me. Please. Don't be Italian, or yourself for a bit, and fuck me."

The rest is a frenzy, how my t-shirt and jeans fly across the room together with his polishes businessman wear, the hands in my hair and his, the fingertips that this time are not that gentle and might leave some purple traces.

It's skin rubbing on skin, nails that draw blood, sweat, swearwords and tears.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't; I want to feel you."

Even if a bit more abrupt than our first time, he still is caring, and cannot stop being.

"Good?"

"Really good. More. Harder." Because I want to numb everything.

This time the orgasm is like thunder and painted in teeth, tears, sperm, and blood on the sheets, my back pressed against the headboard, and my legs around him.

It was amazing but not even amazing can bring sleep over my troubled mind. Stefano said I have two weeks and that it is non-negotiable.

The sun comes out over Paris and I didn't sleep at all. A ray hits the revolver on the table making the metal shine.

In a trance, I get out of bed and look at him, how beautiful and peaceful he looks. The white roses on the nightstand make the picture almost angelic.

I walk to the table and look at the revolver for a minute. There might be no other occasion and Dani will die. I cannot let that happen.

Grabbing the gun I point my trembling arms at him and aim for the heart; I don't have the stomach to aim for the head.

One breath, two breaths, body, please don't bail on me.

"Remember, synchronize the shot with the heartbeats," he says and I freeze. A small sad smile stretches over his face.

"Marco..."

"It's okay. I love you, Pebbles. Aim, shoot, and run."

And I push the trigger and look how the blood splatters all over the white sheets. I feel like dying but I shoot the photo and run.

I run to the street, call Stefano and trash the phone, get a burner and call him again.

"Beautiful photo. I will call it 'black death and white roses'. The plane will board in one hour; the boy is already there. Good luck, clumsy Swiss girl."

"Fuck you."

Dani is indeed waiting for me at the gate and we board the plane with our new documents.

The sun is setting over the world while we fly into the darkness.

"Roxi. You don't stop crying and shaking. I am here; it is going to be fine. It is over. Are you not happy we are together again? It has been so horrible," says Dani too, with tears in his eyes.

"I am. Of course, I am. You are my heart and you know that."

Or half of it, the other half I had to shoot dead to set you free...

END.

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For the few that get attached when they read, don't hate me. I got a bit emotional myself when I wrote the end of this story.

This was the image that set off the whole book, black death and white roses, the story of a girl who falls in love with a gangster guy but kills him in the end when he actually, for a change, doesn't deserve to die. (Relatively at least).

And I love Marco, god how I love him.

There will surprisingly be a second part because I still have ideas for stuff to happen and there are a few loose threads.

Please tell me your feelings and thank you so much for making it to the end. ❤️

The second part is up now. It's called Death and Love Poems and it shows how Roxi's story continues. You can find it here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/328269078-alchemy-of-blood-2-mafia-romance

About this: don't hate me, and trust the process.

If you enjoyed this story, please tell me. It will encourage me to keep writing and improving.

If you like this story, consider giving one of my other stories a chance.

Moonspell is one of my favourites. It's a fantasy romance with werewolves. This might make some cringe but if you enjoyed this story you already know the books I write are not that much(only a bit) of a cliche but rather entertaining. That one also has more and more diverse smut 😂 most of all if you get as far as Moon Goddess.

The Empty Ones is my newest baby, that's a high fantasy for those who like more world-building and plot and less smut, though there is also going to be some.