Marco

There were some gunshots, a near-death experience, another discussion with Lorenzo that didn't sit so well, and other few unpleasant things but also some nice ones, like the fact that for a change Roxi is smiling lightly when waking up.

"I still don't possess pyjamas," she whispers, pressing her body closer to mine.

"I don't think you are cold. It's twenty-eight degrees in here," I answer and caress the dishevelled hair from her face away to kiss her forehead.

"No..."

"Then I don't see anybody in this room minding. I am joking, we can get some; I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I don't. Maybe a bit shy. I have told you, it's been almost five years  since I had, as the psychologist lady calls it, a voluntary sexual interaction with anybody."

"Ah, Pebbles..." I sigh, leaning forward and kissing her gently on the lips.

"What?"

"I feel like saying a lot of cheesy cliches, that just aren't viable."

"Like what? Amuse me," she says and smiles brightly, with that smile of hers that appears when she doesn't take life too seriously and that I haven't seen lately.

"Ok, like, 'oh don't worry amore, we are going to make up for all the lost time', or 'you are gorgeous, why didn't the men around you notice you?'. But well, we won't, and the men did actually notice you, they were all just a real disgrace to mankind and I am sorry you met most of them."

"Oh, are you not a poet," she answers stretching out her tongue.

"I can be. Now I was just being honest."

"Come on, they weren't all awful."

"Oh, don't get me started. The only one who is actually a decent human being is your friend from the construction troupe."

"Damian?"

"Yes."

"He thinks you are okay too, after the initial reluctance passed. At first, he thought you were presumptuous and preppy, and he didn't want to leave me alone with you."

"See. Good friend."

"So today we go to that party?" she asks a bit lost in thought. 

"Yes, after therapy. Any preference for a dress? "

"No, you can choose. You have remarkably good taste for a non-gay guy."

It's so horrible and dangerous because I could actually get used to this life. And it's so tempting to ask her to stay with me but I am aware of how selfish that would be. And what else, Marco? You just don't want to hear the answer, right?
No, I sure as hell don't...

Lorenzo doesn't leave me out of sight. That means bodyguards follow me around all day long. I told him I am really, and I mean really, hard to kill when I am actually expecting a blow, like now. What I mean is that I have learned my lesson. But regardless, he doesn't want to hear of anything. He even insisted on Roxi having bodyguards while we were still lovers just to keep me out of any possible whiff of trouble and danger.

Speaking of the devil, I see his name on the phone screen while waiting for Roxi to finish her therapy session.

"Pronto."

"Boy, your friend Alexei's bodyguard just dropped by and delivered a package from the east."

"Yuri? Big, bald?"

"Yes."

"And what did you do with the 'package'?"

"Put it down in the basement to cool down. It's waiting for you."

"Okay, thanks. Make sure it's still intact when I find it."

"That I cannot guarantee. It was pretty slippery, it fell down the stairs, you know, these things happen sometimes. But it's as good as new."

I sigh. He just cannot help himself, but a beating is not something the guy doesn't deserve.

"Okay. Thanks. See you in two days?"

"Yes. Have fun at the gathering."

I hope I will.

"Marco!" says, for the given situation, a relatively jolly Roxi, pressing a kiss to my cheek and letting herself fall onto the backseat of the car.

"Uh. Not grumpy. Cute." I react pulling her closer and kissing her forehead.

The closure is becoming more and more natural and hell how I enjoy it.

"Yeah, dunno'. I feel strange today," she says while leaning with her head on my shoulder.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I had an interesting talk with the psychologist lady about forgiving oneself and how to handle guilt. Though I hate admitting it, she had a point. No amount of guilt will change the past and even if I will not be able to help feeling it for a long time I also see that it is not actually helping anybody and today I strangely feel like I do want to help people. After everything is over I want to help children who had to deal with violence like... Dani, my brother, to maybe forgive myself one day. And I want to be there for the few friends I have, Kary, Damian, even Peter."

The strange light in her eyes is both adorable and unsettling.

"It makes me happy to hear that. If you ever need funding, I have... a lot of blood money to spare."

She opens her mouth to protest but I put smoothly my finger on her lips to silence her.

"It beats the purpose somehow, I know, I just couldn't help saying it."

Her lips move gently along the finger.

"It's okay. Today I don't want to be gloomy for a change. Let's go to your party."

Later that day, I look just as fascinated at her, how she is staring dead seriously down at three dresses and I am very aware of how fucked I am. The hangover of this non-relationship will be horribly long and excessively painful.

"They are all beautiful," she says.

"Just choose the one you would feel more comfortable in."

"I am incapable. You choose."

"I could of course but it's more fun to see you struggle with menial tasks like these. I will wait in the living room. Surprise me but hurry up."

"Asshole." But her face is jolly while she shows me a middle finger.

Not sure how many minutes later, because I was dressing up and reading unholy grandpa's emails, I hear a throat clearing.

"How do I look? Fancy enough? I was overwhelmed with a lot of choices from the stuff you bought."

Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder because I have seen lots of objectively beautiful women in my life and couldn't care less, but this one image, I am sure, will remain in my memory forever. In sheer fascination, I observe the way the ivory silk dress envelops her figure. The subtle shine is so pleasantly complementing the colour of her skin, crowned now with too-rosy cheeks and too-blazing lips. The flowing blond curls, the sparkling eyes, and the innocent but still intelligent smile show me what I was fugitively imagining on sleepless nights but never quite took shape until now.

"I swear you are the hottest guy I know. By far," she blurs out and I can't help but chuckle.

"Only when you are looking. You look sublimely beautiful, Roxi. I will indulge in saying something very cheesy. It feels like you caught shape from my dreams."

"Yeah, it is cheesy, but I never had this type of cheesy before and I am surprisingly into it."

And to continue with the flair of the day I am telling myself I will pretend we are actually a couple and just get high on all the wrong feelings. It's just one night, after all, just an illusion that will fade in the morning... her hand in mine, her easy smile, the magnolia perfume mixed with her natural scent of cotton candy and rain... 

"Why are there journalists outside?" she whispers, while we approach the venue.

"Because this is how they roll. Don't worry, we will use the back entrance and you can be sure there are none inside."

"I don't really care, I am a nobody but maybe your grampa will. Wow, the place is amazing," she says distracted, tilting her head to admire the painting on the ceiling.

"Marco!" says a familiar voice and we both turn our heads.

Nate, dressed elegantly in a green velvet dress is jumping not so elegantly towards me to give me a hug. Then she turns towards a lightly frowning Roxi who is again really adorable.

"And you must be the not-girlfriend who shamed Alex for not being very proactive in a critical situation. It's nice meeting you, Roxana. I am Natalia. You managed to surprise my husband, which is rare. I would also have been furious at him if Marco died. Don't tell Christoph that, but you are the nicest among Alex's friends."

The frown on Roxi's face changes to slight astonishment when Alex appears from the crowd and wraps his arms around Nate.

"You idiot, you scared the hell out of me," he says, looking at me with some genuine annoyance.

"Happy to see you too, future warden of the east. Are the rumors true?" I ask, referring to what Lorenzo briefed me about. Alex seems to want to assume the leadership of the eastern clans after all, after years of actively avoiding it."

"In a way. Long story, that we will need to talk about, but not today," he says giving me a genuine hug.

"Roxana, nice meeting you in person," he says smiling at Roxi who can't move and barely blinks.

"Sir, I am so awfully sorry. I didn't mean to, but I was so nervous, and I..."

"You didn't mean to? Hmmm... In my opinion, you most certainly did mean everything you said." His voice is deadly calm like when conducting the atrociously boring business meetings with his finance guys. He is toying with her and it's mean.

"You don't need to be nervous, Pebbles. Alex only seems grumpy sometimes but he actually isn't." I blow off his facade. Roxi is intimidated enough by the situation as a whole. 

"No, he isn't. I married him after all, though, at the beginning of our relationship, he had a similar effect on me," says Nate encouragingly and laughing wholeheartedly.

After they excuse themselves, Roxi seems to relax a bit.

"Oh Christ in heaven, please tell me that guy is not going to want my head eventually too."

"Alex? No way. He likes you."

"He is frightening, super hot but frightening, and that girl... She seems so jolly and unaffected it strikes me."

"It's actually quite different. Am I frightening too, now that you know me? "

"Hmm no. I mean yes you should be but I got to know you and you are just weird but not dangerous."

"To you. Roxi, no gangter will ever touch you. I promise."

She sighs and looks in the other direction blinking away tears.

"Would you maybe want to dance?" she asks trying to break away from the spontaneous sadness.

"Yes. I have been waiting for this moment."

I actually have. The moment the quartet plays the first accords of the Shostakovich waltz number two, I know this will also be a moment to remember just like our first dance.

In the eighteenth century, when it became popular, the waltz was viewed as pretty scandalous. Characterized by its rise and fall action, it includes a step, slide, and step in three-quarters time. Taap- slide, fast-tap.

"Do you know this one?" I ask cautiously.

"Are you kidding me? This is one of the most famous waltzes," she answers grinning and I notice right after just what she means.

It's not that she knows it, she breathes it and like that precious first time, all the movements feel so natural, so hideously well synchronized as if we were dancing together for a long, long time. As if you were made for me, Pebbles.

In the end, when the music extinguishes I lean down to kiss her like I felt like doing months before but refrained from it.

"I was fantasizing about a moment like this and right now it feels like a fairy tale," she whispers.

"Adorable," says an unmistakable deep voice and I shudder internally.

"Stefano!" I frown and advert my gaze towards him. "I didn't know you would be here," I say cautiously knowing that one wrong step could bring all of us on live TV.

"I was not invited but I managed to get a last-minute change of heart from the organizing team. Can we talk, little brother?"

I honestly don't think I have much of a choice.

"It will not take long. Go find Alex and Nate, okay?" I whisper to Roxi. Alex will know what to do if things go wrong.

"No, Marco, I..."

"Go. Everything is under control," I lie.

She nods and walks away while Stefano signals me to head towards a side room. It's empty and silent. If he is armed, it will be heard. But even if he is, I don't really need a gun if I want to kill someone...

"You really like her. I am amazed. I was doubting you even like girls. Or boys, or anything."

"I do. But you didn't come here to say this so why did you come, Stefano?"

"I want to propose a pact. In the end, I have to see reason. You didn't kill Anabella and given your current position..." He hesitates. "It's better for the house of Messina to not have the Medici as enemies."

I stare at him dumbfounded. I know Stefano and I know what this confession might mean, and I know how difficult it is for him to say it. With his impulsive personality and his pride, this is pure and bitter humiliation.

"Stefano, you know I never wanted us to be enemies. I still want to find Anabella's murderer and make him or her pay. Regardless of everything, you are my brother and I don't want to hurt you but you went to unimaginable and gruesome lengths just to hurt me. Why? Why on earth? I did everything you asked me, I was always faithful to you and the family, so why do you hate me?"

"I..." he releases a deep sigh. " I cannot undo it. But this is me trying; trying to build a bridge and rebuild a relationship with my brother. I will never oppose you or your house nor will I ever touch your girl again. I know trust needs time to build again and wounds to heal but..." His voice breaks. "You are the only one I have left," he says finally.

"Stefano..." Now that I hear all these things, but I am lacking words.

"I have severed all ties with Aziz. I have broken off all deals to weapon traffic. You were right all along. Here, I said it."

And I feel no satisfaction whatsoever hearing it. But still, I know what it means for him to do all this.

"Give me a chance to build trust between us again."

"Okay," I answer.

After this short conversation, he leaves and I am left alone with my thoughts and with an anxious Roxi.

"Can we go?" she asks.

"No, we don't have to go," I say slightly irritated that this incident ruined my date night. I just can't help it.

"But I want to. Can we please?"

"Of course. I feel so sorry."

"What for?" she continues asking while we walk to the car, and once we sit inside she lets her head fall on my chest grabbing one of my hands. "Will you not tell me what he wanted?"

"To make up," I answer. My voice is a whisper. "Because he is dying."