Marco

Cotton Candy and rain; I think this is it. That's what she smells like.

My hmm... not sure how to call her. If it's to think about it, not my anything.

Stefano will not let her be, as he will not let go of his hate for me and he is not someone to talk to rationally. He is... not someone to trust. Sadly.

And Lorenzo? It should be possible to sway him to let me have my so-called toy as long as I do what I am told. My toy. It's rather the other way around.

This night felt strange, to say the least, and sleep didn't come to me that easily, though it felt good holding her, as good as I remembered.

It's a guilty pleasure that I never should have indulged in, and still, it does appear as if I am the part of her life that is less fucked up. Who would have thought? If everything she said was true, and why wouldn't it be, she watched her family being mutilated and killed despite all efforts to avoid it. People are horrible and I am people.

All my victims were criminals, never civilians, still, they were people with feelings, sometimes families; no man is an island after all. As Stefano's brother, I could choose not to obey an order if I didn't feel like it. Sure he would throw a tantrum but he couldn't force me, so I never felt I crossed a man that didn't deserve it. That I deserve it too most certainly, that's another topic.

She whimpers again in her sleep like she did several times during the night when she pressed closer to me and it made me feel needed and powerless at the same time.

"Roxi, I will go see Grampa and arrange everything, okay?" I whisper and graze my lips over her cheek.

"Mmm, don't go," she says turning around and smiling sleepily.

"I can't stay in bed and plan murder at the same time; I am not Dr. Manhattan."

"Dr. Manhattan looks like a smurf. He has great abs though... But so do you," she says, touching my face.

That brief moment makes room for a lot of strangeness inside me. It makes me think how our life would have been were we born differently. We likely wouldn't have met but if we had, we would have been so grossly happy.

"What are you thinking about? You smile so weirdly."

"I am amazed that you know who Dr. Manhattan is." I lie, partially.

"I have a brother. Well, had. He liked comics," she says and the smile vanishes. Her eyes become glassy and the tears just fall over her face.

"I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry." But I know that regardless of what I say it will not matter or help.

"He liked playing violin and Ivan cut his fingers off. I cannot even imagine what must have been in his mind at that point," she whispers and her gaze looks lost, almost mad. "Did you ever do that? Cut someone's fingers off?"

With every word, I feel the bile rising up in my body. I have never felt so disgusted with myself in my whole life.

"No, I... prefer to be quick."

"How do you kill them?" she asks in a steady, calm voice that is profusely frightening.

"Why do you want to torture yourself?"

"Because I deserve it because Dani is dead and I am here playing house with you."

And you are torturing me too, just that I actually deserve it.

"We are not playing house. You are doing what you see fit to avenge your family and to survive. I don't want anything from you, Roxi and I know we are not going to sail into the sunrise together."

"What if I want to? What if I am so disgusting and actually want to?"

"Then we can figure out how to be abominable and disgusting together but calm down now. I will go get you a pill and a therapist. You are so not well," I answer without being able to hide the concern.

"It's okay. I am ok. More than ok actually," she says and lifts her head to kiss me on the lips. My relationships have always been in the not quite-normal category but this one kiss feels like the weirdest so far, profusely wrong all over, continuing and breaking it off feeling just as wrong.

She doesn't stop at that, but moves her hands under my t-shirt, lifting it over my head and I am too dumbstruck to do anything about it, just let it happen.

This escalates quickly in a very wrong and cataclysmic direction.

I gasp when I feel her fingernails on my back.

"Fuck me," she whispers in the kiss and it would have sounded as perfected as can be were we different people in different circumstances.

God give me strength. Don't be an idiot, Marco. Get your shit together.

"I... don't want to..." I manage to say in the end. Which is paradoxically a lie and the truth at the same time.

"You are hard," she counters and movers her hands down my abs lifting the band of the pants and underwear.

"I would be amazed if I wouldn't be."

Thanks to the providence I manage to breathe in and grab her hands to pin them over her head.

"Roxi, stop it. We are not having sex. You don't have to sleep with me and I don't want you to sleep with me unless I am sure it's what you desire, which cannot happen at the moment because I don't trust your impaired judgment for the time being. Stay put. I am going to shower."

And luckily I go through with it and stand up from the bed.

"Where are you going? The shower is the other way," she says lifting an eyebrow.

"Not there, some other shower. You are dangerous."

Every word is dearly meant as I look at her. That incredible sensuality she possesses is most likely something she is not aware of. The way her dishevelled hair falls over her shoulders, the contrast her skin tone makes with the navy blue dress or how that piece of clothing reveals now far more than it should or is healthy for my sanity paint a dangerous picture.

And there is something more that draws my attention now that the cleavage of the dress is dragged lower than it should be. A burn mark a few centimetres over her sternum. A... lion. Stefano you fucking sadist! And people think I am the deranged one.

"Stay put, understood?"

She nods and I close the door exhausted when the day only just began.

It's not enough, the honourable Lorenzo sends for me shortly after. It was expected; I actively avoided him yesterday.

"Your Highness," I say entering his office.

"Grandson. I see you are as rude and ungrateful as always."

"Apologies. I will refrain from comments from now on." No need to poke the bear.

Lorenzo smiles that annoying smile of his that makes one really uneasy.

"I have to acknowledge that you did exceptionally well at the meeting. I was called to be congratulated. That didn't happen in a while."

"Cool. Listen, I will take some days off."

Lorenzo laughs.

"You might not know it but you are more of a Medici than you think."

By acting like an ass? Yeah, it's probably fitting.

"And what do you want the days off for?"

"Travel, make some new friends."

"Marco, I am serious. You cannot wander around unprotected as you used to."

Oh, watch me.

"Don't give me that face. You are a prominent person now. And you are my heir."

"I am also one of the best assassins in the world; I think I can take care of myself."

"Were. I expect you to refrain from that now. You are not Stefano's lap dog anymore."

True, I am yours.

"I don't want you to die, boy. I am... strangely fond of you."

And I am certain hell froze over.

"Anyway, I will go. I should be back in three to four days. But I want to be forthcoming so today I am at your orders to make up for it."

"No, you may go. I will call in my debt after."

Of course.

"Fine, thanks. See you."

And I am gone before he has more ideas or changes his mind.

I take a few minutes to think about the best approach and a few hours to do some research regarding this particular branch of the eastern mob. Roxi's acquaintances are not particularly high-ranking. Vitali can be convinced quite easily to lick the dust off her shoes with one phone call. We will however be forthcoming. It's better to have friends and people that owe you favours.

Ivan is not that easy to track since he seems to be hiding from his former colleagues too. But no person is invisible and he doesn't seem particularly bright to cover all his tracks.

My phone starts vibrating. Alex. That must be telepathy.

"Hey, I just wanted to call you."

"When? Two days ago when we were supposed to go out for lunch after you got my wife all hyped talking about pencils."

"Hehe. Tell Nate I say hi. Alex, I need a favour."

"Well talk, prodigal friend."

"I need to find a certain East European thug. His name is Ivan Ivanovici."

Alex is laughing.

"And why do you want to find this gentleman?"

"Well to hmm, play some darts."

I hear Alex trying to suppress some chuckles.

"Nikolai will send you a file later on."

"And uh. That therapist Nate went to after... Can you send me her number?"

There were some moments of silence.

"Oh. Now that I think of it, you once sent me a photo of a girl's shoulder with debt marks on it. Let me guess who the author is."

"Yeah. So?"

"I  would be very tempted to make fun of you if I didn't understand your situation too well. Let me know if you want help playing darts."

"Thanks."

"No need to thank me," he says finally and hangs up.

When I return to the room Roxi is sitting on the bed looking calm. That's good.

"How are you feeling?"

"Besides awkward? Fine."

"Let's forget about it. You need some clothes for travelling; we are leaving in a few hours."

"Where to?"

"Switzerland. It seems Vitali likes mountain air. You can also wait for me here till I am done."

"No. That is out of the question."

"Thought so. Let's go?"

A few hours later we are on the freeway towards Südtirol. Roxi is strangely silent looking out the window.

"Are you okay? I mean as ok as you can be," I ask in the end after refraining from it for some time.

"Why wouldn't I be? I am here wearing the most expensive pair of jeans I ever set my eyes on, in an outrageously expensive car watching the sunset with a hot guy by my side and a million euros in a suitcase on the backseat. Sounds awesome, if I disregard the fact that the guy is a killer, this is mob money and we are actively planning to commit homicide anytime soon."

"Auch. True but harsh. I am almost sorry for asking."

And what do I learn from it? To shut up for the time being but it is not making the ten hours of drive more comfortable. I can take a pick from the things I did wrong but in all honesty, I am not sure which she is mad about now.

At some point, she falls asleep with her head leaning on the window and the rest is only stolen glances and silence. 

"Roxi, we are here, wake up," I whisper hoping that I will not be rewarded with a slap though it would be funny.

She takes some minutes to get acquainted with the surroundings.

"That's my place and Kary's. Why did we come here?"

"We are going to meet Vitali tomorrow. He is in Zürich."

"Dude, are you sure you are actually good at your job? We are going here in plain daylight for him to see where I am and what I am doing."

"Yes, and most of all with whom. I want him to know and to see. And if he knows what's good for him he will not dare to come close to you ever again. You see, Grandpa has a reputation that sometimes comes in handy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am pretty sure tomorrow in the morning I am going to get a very interesting call from him. Now, do you mind showing me your place? Would you stop being mad at me if we visit, say, a clock museum tomorrow?" 

She rolls her eyes but can't help smiling a tiny bit.

"Let's go up for you to meet Kary."