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Yoon Nabi had left behind her past, her home, her family and found a sliver of solace in a foreign country. On the surface she was the quintessence of perfection, having been the only child of influential parents she led an illustrious life, but it was no easy feat. She had long understood that her accomplishments were not hers alone that the stares like canines sunken into tender flesh observed her and she had grown to feel, even by oneself, their constant shadow enamelling its shape onto her as she swelted under their control.

Her childhood was a blur of moments all strung together into one hefty faded memory. Heartbeats, footsteps and heavy breathing, a child and a gruesome sight. It all swathed her memory like a clear window dotted with darkened stains, ones she could not cleanse away for they hid too skilfully. It was etched onto her, engraved as a secret sullied and her body knew, it knew all too well. Yet, no matter the nightmares no matter the figments of terror, it chose to elude her and though, with much might, she had pursued it there was nothing.

The memories kept had faded into the abyss.

Despite her determination she had let it drift afar, only the whispers of days passed remained, and so she willed herself to do what was expected of her. She endured her days in a repetitive cycle many would soon find suffocating but for a time Nabi welcomed the lulling quiet of it until she, too, had come to desire more. Her days a constant hollow dulled into each other like gravelled paths of a caged maze and she had roamed each path, over and over again.

Years after, her silent plea had been answered, she found herself far removed from the pressures her lineage had threaded onto her and now she wandered the cool air of a new land. Through utterances she was not aware of Nabi discovered herself before the FBI building in Quantico. Her mother had insisted this would be best for her because of reasons untold and Nabi thought not to ask for this is what she had silently wished for and it was granted. She had emerged above all her peers, taught the finest and only that, Nabi put all her teachings to use solving cases she had only ever studied in class. Macabre, grotesque and monstrous images she had seen on screen now lay themselves before her very own eyes in flesh. And though it took some time for her to get used to it Nabi eventually did with the help of her team and one specific agent in particular.

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Spencer Reid, the genius, had only ever known books as his escape from the worldly pains and frustrations. As a hungry child starved of food his nourishment came in the form of knowledge, a way to abandon all else and rest for hours on end. Growing up, where children his age would find themselves in fairy-tales and fantasies Spencer would escape into books filled with reality, the opposite, he would read at levels years beyond his age and as a consequence he then, too, studied at a degree much greater than those around him. A fact that brought immense fulfilment and contentment had soon morphed into something wicked, children are mean and they tease- that is true, yet none bore the tragedy of it as agonisingly as he had done so.

Those memories would never fade instead the abyss of it had bound itself to him.

He had endured it all perhaps it had even shaped him into a stronger person. Quickly he had risen, a sight to behold, he would find his place amidst those who would understand him for all he is. The FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit had carved out a seat for him and he had gladly taken it.

Dr Spencer Reid had nestled himself into a fallacy -misconception- of security, he had not truly foreseen nor comprehended the instability of such a position not until he had bared the truth of it. In the midst of it all he had found himself detached, a feeling of isolation which pierced at his skin as does the needle he fought to supress. He knew he was struggling yet he denied such a matter, a dim and cold vagueness he wished not to familiarise himself with had sought him out as it wrapped its odious arms around his weak state and he felt himself falling, succumbing into its grasp.

And as the days passed he swallowed the weight of it hiding behind a false pretence of stability. His solace crept up out of the shadows, an illumination of steadiness an understanding and a connection in the form of a girl, an agent.

——

Over the years Yoon Nabi and Spencer Reid had rooted themselves in each others lives addicted to filling every hollow flaw and blemish that would surface, the need to cover every frown of doubt creased into their skin. A friendship that blossomed and flourished and would soon take shape of something more, an intimacy, a thread of love just fashioning itself around them.

Piece by piece out of the depths of the clouded obscurities arose a plight which would soon unveil itself as a significant fragment of Nabi's past. The memories she had coveted would soon splatter themselves across every wall of her mind, the truth was abysmal and the future even more so.

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CHARACTERS:

YOON NABI:

SPENCER REID:

SPENCER AND NABI:

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"Because of everything, it is you and will always be you,

I have loved you

for as long as we have known each other."

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Playlist

Why Why by Shannon Williams.
Family Tree by Ethel Cain.
Die with a smile by Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars.
Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes after sex.
Imperfect for you by Ariana Grande.
What I am by ZAYN.
Sleepless rainy night by IU.
My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski.
Wildflower by Billie Eilish.
Stay Alive by Jungkook, Suga.
Still with you by Jungkook.
Losing Myself by Mia Baron.
Eat Your Young by Hozier.
Goddess by Laufey.
Dark but just a game by Lana Del Rey.
The Blackest Day by Lana Del Rey.
Say yes to heaven by Lana Del Rey.
Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo.
Are you satisfied? by Marina.
Afraid by The Neighbourhood.
Heart on the window by Jin, WENDY.

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This story includes

- Dark themes.

- Violent themes.

- Mentions of death and gore.

- Psychological Trauma.

- Themes usually found in criminal minds are included.

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A/N: As a HUGE fan of criminal minds (and Spencer) I just HAD to do this. I am super excited to write this fanfiction and even more excited for you all to read it!!! Thank you so much for all your support 🫶