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"We betray our true selves when we do not follow the heart's desire, for what the heart is attracted to, is your destiny."

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The guilt was getting to me.

All I kept seeing were Anakin's somber eyes in my mind after my rejection, as well as hearing his beautiful confession on repeat. I have never had anyone speak so kind and highly of me — not my own parents, not my own husband, not anyone.

And I didn't deserve it.

Him and I would be doomed from the very beginning for so many reasons that don't need to be named. Not to mention I barely ended my marriage mere hours ago and another man is the last thing I should be thinking about. Especially him.

But still, guilt has a way of controlling an individual doesn't it? It urges them to act and find a way to ease the guilt and make things right, it's our body's way of rejecting the intrusive feeling to bring back our default state of peace.

With that being said, I found myself standing outside of Anakin's office. But I have yet to knock or make my presence known in any way, I wasn't sure what to say. I left Ahsoka moments after disclosing that I wasn't entirely truthful with her brother. Thankfully, she didn't follow me when I rushed up the stairs; almost tripping in my four inch heels that have now been kicked off and are laying in this hall two feet away from me.

With a heavy breath and a rush of courage given to me by the alcohol still circulating my system, I raised my hand and prepared to knock. But before I could, the door was aggressively pulled open and Anakin was standing on the other side, glaring down at me, "Are you just going to stand out here like a statue or tell me what you need Ms.Winters." His voice was not as friendly as it usually was, I could hear the hurt, the bitterness.

I glanced down to his undone tie and half unbuttoned shirt, "Um," I drifted my eyes up and met his intimidating stare, "How did you know I was here?"

Without taking his eyes off me, he pointed up towards the ceiling and when I turned my head to follow his gesture I noticed a camera pointing right at us, "I installed a camera this afternoon before we opened, I felt I needed more security measures in place." He said in a monotone.

Good to know.

I spun back to face him, "What for? Did something happen?" I played it off the best I could, and it sounded believable enough.

He sighed, "Nothing that you need to worry about, now do you need something? Because I need to get back to work, I have a busy day ahead tomorrow." He placed his hand on the door and closed it a few inches.

I breathed out a nervous exhale and nodded, "Anakin I wanted to apologiz-"

"There's no need," He cut me off before glancing down to the floor, visibly swallowing as his grip on the doorframe tightened, "It's my own fault for believing something was there that clearly wasn't. I was wrong for putting you in an awkward situation, so I'm the one that's sorry." He said low, "Now if you'll excuse me I have a lot to do so-"

He tried closing the door on me, but I stepped forward and placed my foot inside to stop him, and he halted his movements before crushing my barefoot, "You weren't wrong." I contradicted what I told him downstairs, but for once I just wanted to tell this man the truth, "I lied to you because I was afraid. Feeling what I feel for you was never apart of my plan and I was trying so hard to deny it, but I don't know if I can anymore," My voice cracked and he slowly glanced up to meet my eyes, never speaking a word as he listened, "I've never met anyone like you and I often find myself thinking about you too," Sometimes for the case, and sometimes not. There are moments this man just pops into my head, and I always tried to ignore it, "And I'm really sorry, I was never trying to hurt you the way I did tonight."

"I think it's safe to say that we're adults here and there's no need for confusion, lies, or games," He slowly pulled the door open, "Just tell me, do you want to be with me — yes or no?" He asked with a simple shrug, "If it's a no, then okay. You will still have your job and there will be no ill-treatment towards you for it. But if it's a yes, then please come inside." He took a few steps back, then fell silent as he waited for my answer.

And I already knew my answer, my heart was beating it at this very moment. But what's going to happen if I really do give in to what my heart has been telling me? Will I continue my job? Quit? Find a way around it? Tell him the truth? Give up everything I've ever worked for?

I had no idea what I was going to do in regards to the job... but the will to do what I wanted regarding Anakin was a lot stronger. I couldn't help what I was feeling anymore than I could stop the moon from rising. Because believe me, if I could, I'd feel nothing.

Not even Connor has been crossing my mind. In a matter of hours this man has somehow slithered inside of my skin and laid claim to every part of me. I could hardly breathe being this close to him, everything about him was suddenly so intoxicating and all I wanted to do was give in.

I took another step forward so I was now in the doorway, "I do want you Anakin," I finally admitted aloud, "More than I thought possible, but that doesn't take away the fear that I don't think this is going to end well for us." A tear slid down my cheek. Him and I are from two different worlds. The only way this will end will be with nothing but devastation, betrayal, and lies.

He calmly came forward and placed his hands on my cheeks, "And why do you think that?" He tilted his head slightly to the side, "Because I happen to think this can end very well for us." And that is because you are so blissfully ignorant, "No one has ever made me smile as much as you, and I don't want anyone else, they don't even compare. So if it's cheating that you're worried about, because of what I'm sure my sister has disclosed to you about my past activities, then don't, I won't ever hurt you." He brought our faces close together, his voice getting lower the closer he got.

I placed my hands on his wrists and gazed into his eyes and there it was again, that look. It's not him hurting me that I'm afraid of. I'm the one who's afraid of hurting him.

"I know you want this as much as I do," He lowered his head down more, brushing his lips against mine. My heart rate quickened while goosebumps lathered across my skin, "So why fight it?"

I didn't want to fight it; my heart and my body were both begging for him, begging to be touched by him like I was in that dream. But my mind was against it, it knew the consequences, it knew this would destroy me — us.

"Because a relationship like this is not ideal, it's risky given our opposite positions in life. I'm a co-" I paused to keep myself from giving myself away, but this moment was so entrancing it was making it difficult not to be entirely truthful, "College student and you're my...boss."

"What is life without a little risk?" He said low as he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs, a blush involuntarily forming, "And (y/n), you, you are worth every risk."

Fuck. How can I say no after that?

My next words parting from my lips before I had time to even register them,  "Something tells me you're worth every risk too," I leaned into his warm touch on my cheeks, and I watched him melt at my words. And I'm almost positive that now I was giving him that look.

The next thing I knew, he shut the door behind me and pinned me against it with his hands now on my hips. And I let him as my heart raced with anticipation, "I've thought about doing this for so long," He whispered, lightly grazing his lips against mine, "And how you would taste, wondering if you'd be sweet." My breathe caught in my throat as goosebumps covered my skin, and I leaned upwards to bring our lips even closer. A part of me was still trying to fight it, but the other part of me was much stronger, "(Y/n), are you going to kiss me?" He repeated my words from last night in the kitchen in a low whisper.

The room was silent other than our fast and nervous breathing, followed by the heavy beatings of hearts that sounded as if they were one, "I-" I could hardly form any words, this position was making it hard to breathe.

He slowly smiled, "Let me help you."

Without another word, Anakin pressed our lips together, filling my heart with a song that had every lyric as his name. I didn't even hesitate to kiss him back like I thought I would, instead I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the embrace. Nothing else mattered to me in this moment, it was only him and I.

The feeling I got from this kiss was more mind and soul-consuming than anything else I've ever experienced. And I couldn't deny the way my heart raced with desire as the butterflies danced in my stomach. I can blame the alcohol in my system if I wanted to like I have been most of this night — but this, this is something my heart and soul wants, no, needs.

The kiss grew to be more passionate and his grip on my hips tightened while his lips moved quickly against mine. I brought my hands up and ran them through his hair and soon, I found myself being lifted from the floor and carried away as I wrapped my legs around his waste. Our embrace never ending.

Anakin set me down on his desk and settled himself between my legs, just as he did in the kitchen, and just like my dream. His kisses traveled to my neck and I moaned in bliss while tugging on his hair. This isn't at all how I thought it would feel, that dream hardly did it justice.

"Wait," He breathed, pulling away from the kiss to look deep in my eyes. He brushed my hair away from face and placed it behind my ear, "Are you sure you actually want this? Because earlier when you said-"

I interrupted him by pressing my lips to his for a moment before looking back into his beautiful eyes that were making me feel weak. I needed to stop him from questioning it, because if he questions it, then I'll question it and I didn't want this to end, "I do want this," I whispered as my lips grazed his. I had to whisper, I truly had no breath in my lungs, he took it all away, "Anakin, I want you. Don't you want me too?" I flickered my gaze up, he was looking at me again in a way no one ever has. And it warmed my heart and made me fall just a little harder.P

He slowly smiled as he caressed my jawline with the tip of his index finger, "You have no idea how much I want you. To be with you." He kissed the tip of my nose, "To bring you into my bed," He kissed my right cheek, "To wake up in the morning and have you be the first person I see," He kissed my left cheek, "Fuck (y/n) you have a deep hold on me that no one has ever had, and I will do anything you ask."

"Anything?" I whispered.

He nodded, his eyes scanning my features with pure affection and devotion, "Yes, anything."

"Then kiss me again," I slid my hands down from his hair and cupped his neck, "Please." I pulled him closer to close the distance between our lips.

And as soon as he was going to kiss me like I begged for, we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, "So is this why you were so keen on keeping this delectable woman from me?"

I know that voice — Clovis.

Anakin sighed heavily through his nose and pressed his forehead against mine, never taking his eyes away from me, "You're early Clovis." He said in annoyed tone.

Clovis chuckled and I could hear him entering the room with slow and heavy steps, "I'm not actually, I'm late. But it seems you were too busy impregnating your staff as usual to notice."

Anakin squinted his eyes closed at Clovis's comment while I felt a stabbing pain of jealousy in my heart, "I'm sorry," He whispered to me before opening his eyes again, and I'm sure he could see my hurt by Clovis's words. Which feels hypocritical of me, I'm the one that's married, "I promise that you actually mean something."

"How adorable, have you said that to any of them before? To Padmé maybe?" Clovis laughed as he was clearly trying to set a fire to burn down what has barely begun.

"Alright," Anakin groaned as he helped me off the desk and placed me back on my feet. As he did so, a long paper slid off with me and I caught it just before it hit the ground. I was only able to glance at it for a brief moment before Anakin took it from me and rolled it up. But I saw what it was, a blueprint although I'm not sure to where, "Love, we're going to have to talk about this another time - I have business to take care of." He set the rolled up blueprint on the desk and grabbed my hand, placing a kiss on the back of it.

I nodded before momentarily glancing at his lips and the urge to feel them again was so strong that it was painful not to, "Okay," I responded and he walked me past Clovis and out into the hall.

"It was so lovely to see you again gorgeous, call me if you ever get tired of this one," Clovis cackled, causing Anakin to shoot him a threatening side glare.

"I'll be back out there soon and we can have a real dance," He placed his hand on my cheek and leaned down to give me one final kiss, before backing away and closing the door.

I wanted to stay and listen, but when I remembered the camera that was currently pointing at me, I knew that wouldn't be the best decision. So I turned down the hall, picked up my shoes, and followed the loud music back to the club.

All while I ran my fingertips along my lips that were still tingling from his touch.

What the hell did I just do?

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Hope you liked it!❤️ I would have posted this earlier but I was binge watching Bridgerton all day yesterday which foiled my plans of multiple updates lol but I swear to get them out today!
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