I hope this chapter isn't confusing for anyone, I was trying to make y/n appear confused no matter what angle she turned to because she's subconsciously denying the truth, so she's consistently going to walk into a brick wall until she comes to terms with it. Which is that yes she's heart broken over Connor, but a part of her was already healing and moving on because she's already fallen for another(obviously her true love) without realizing it.
So keep that in mind when reading this chapter and please let me know if I did okay conveying her complex emotions (:

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"You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you're in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don't fall in love with people because they're fun. It just happens."

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Breakfast in the morning was silent on my part. The other three—Anakin, Ahsoka, and Piett—conversed amongst each other, while Anakin occasionally stole a few glances my way, probably thinking I wouldn't notice. I sat there without joining their conversations and slowly ate as I blamed a headache for my off behavior.

But really I was doing my best to hide how hurt I was. It felt like Connor reached down my throat and ripped out my heart. And even after all that happened and I told him not to contact me — he still kept blowing up my phone with calls, voicemails, and texts with him begging me to forgive him. I had to shut it off and leave it in my bag in Ashoka's room when we left for the club so I wouldn't draw attention to myself.

I was devastated, and all I kept thinking about was him on top of someone else, and it was driving me fucking crazy. And if I wasn't being tormented with thoughts on that, then I'd get flashes of the dream of Anakin and I on his kitchen counter. Which ultimately gave me a headache that only subsided when I had alcohol in my system.

I held the long island in my palms and slowly drank it like it was a morning cup of coffee, then smiled when it's numbing affect went through my body like a pulsating wave. For the first time today - the pain in my chest subsided and my mind was clear of any unwanted thoughts regarding Anakin and my backstabbing, cheating husband.

"This is exactly what I needed right now." I sighed with content, taking another drink. Now I see why people with depression drink so much m, it really does have a soothing affect.

To say that my mind was intertwined mess of mass confusion would be an understatement. I hardly knew up from down right now and I'm positive this alcohol isn't helping with anything except temporarily burying unwanted thoughts and feelings that brought me down. Which is what I needed, so I welcomed it.

Ahsoka chuckled as she leaned back in the white, leather couch next to me; the clubs purple and blue lights occasionally crossing her features, "You might want to slow down though, that's your third one so far and we've only been here for thirty minutes." She took a drink of her water from the table in front of us — or at least I think it's water.

"Right," I set the cup down. The last thing I wanted was to black-out within the first hour and wake up on a fishing boat somewhere the next day with a freshly done Justin Bieber tattoo — not that that would happen, I've just seen a lot of movies.

I peered down at the club and eyed the group of people dancing against each other to the loud music. Ahsoka and I were up in the VIP section with two bouncers present that waved off anyone who tried to enter the restricted area. According to Ahsoka, the opportunity to pay for a table up here tonight wasn't even available — this entire upstairs area was only ours for the night. Per Anakin's demand.

And I knew she didn't plan to stay up here too long either, she said when we got here that she was waiting for her edible to kick in before going to dance. So at the moment, I was mentally preparing myself to join the sea of sweat and body odor down below for when the time comes.

As I continued looking around the ground floor, I saw Aaron working behind the bar, and by his side was a woman. She was a bartender like the rest of us, one I have yet to meet or knew existed. I was starting to suspect for awhile that Aaron, Ahsoka, and I were the only bartenders they had since I never met anyone else. But it seems I was wrong.

I watched her laugh at something the man she was talking to said, and she placed a hand on his shoulder while flashing him a flirty smile. Her lips moved, but obviously given our distance and the music, I couldn't hear her, "Is she new?" I asked Ahsoka, never taking my eyes off the woman who slowly slid her hand down the man's arm. Something about her felt off to me, although I wasn't sure what it was yet. I call it my cops intuition and usually it's right.

Ahsoka leaned forward and looked down towards the bar area, her face instantly twisting into a grimace, "No, that's fucking Nevaeh," She rolled her eyes, "She only works like a shift or two a week, thankfully, she's annoying with her constant flirting of every guy she sees. I'm surprised the hoe doesn't have more than the two kids she currently has."

I smirked at her reaction, "Judging by your hostility, I'm guessing she flirts with Piett?" But really, who doesn't flirt with Piett? Besides me obviously. But he's an attractive guy, girls that come to the bar love him, even Aaron has him on his manifestation board — I'm serious, he mentioned it during our first shift together.

"Yes, she's obsessed with him," She scoffed with another eye roll, "But not as obsessed as she is with my brother, she'd drop to her knees and sacrifice her children if he asked her to." She added, and it was then that the man that Nevaeh was talking to turned his head and I finally recognized him to be Anakin.

The woman then got closer to him and fluttered her lashes up at while uttering something to him that was followed by a giggle. I was waiting to see if he'd move away from her touch. But when he didn't and instead leaned closer to her and mumbled something into her ear that made her smile widen, I felt an involuntary painful twist in my gut. I grabbed my drink like a reflex and chugged about half of it to relieve the unsettled tension inside of me.

"You alright?" Ahsoka asked with humor in her voice.

"Yup," I answered as sat the glass cup down with more aggression than I intended to, never taking my eyes off of the pair that began to walk away from the bar and up the stairs - towards us. The closer they got, the more I could hear her laughing, until finally they reached the top of the stairs. Neither of them looking in our direction as they went into the door that led into the hallway that would take them to his office.

"Ew I can smell her chlamydia from over here." Ahsoka said out loud, which I'm sure they may have heard.

The image that I was once trying to suppress returned, and the dream flashed through my mind once again. Except this time it wasn't me kissing him or being doted upon by him - it was her. The setting changed from his kitchen to his office and now all I kept thinking about is why they went off alone, and what they were doing. And it felt the exact same way it felt when I thought of Connor and his infidelity — both hurt and I didn't understand why I was feeling like this, nor did I know which one hurt more.

"Let's dance," I stood up and the affect the alcohol had on my body finally made itself known. Sitting down I felt fine, sober even, but standing up split my vision into two and I grabbed the end of the couch to keep myself from falling down.

"Woah, are you sure?" She stood up as well and came to my side quickly. She held her hands out in case I was going to fall over, "If you're jealous (y/n)-"

"I'm not jealous Ahsoka," I cut her off, "I can't be jealous, because I don't have any feelings for him." I said sternly and the look she was giving me showed that she didn't believe anything I was saying.

The idea of me having feelings for him was ludicrous, he was an assignment and nothing more. It was just the alcohol having an affect on my judgment, I was depressed over Connor and my mind was trying to find something or someone else to focus on so I wouldn't think of what's really hurting me.

It's simple psychology.

She folded her arms over the sparkling black dress that resembled the one I was wearing, we were matching just as she wanted, "Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" She raised her brows.

"You," I answered confidently as I chugged the second half of my third drink, my eyes lingering on the door where Anakin disappeared off to with that whore. Did he take her back there to sleep with her- no, I don't care he can do whatever he wants. I brought the empty cup down and set it on the table next to my other empty cups, "I think I need another drink, and then I want to dance."

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Now I can see what the hype is all about.

As I danced on the floor with my dress dazzling underneath the club lights, I could feel the music vibrating through every inch of my body. It was a euphoric experience that I wish I experienced sooner in my youth. But I spent so much of my life working to reach the top and being a good wife that I missed a large piece of my youth - all to get shit on by my husband and boss.

So I deserved this, I deserved this night of no stress, no worries, and an empty mind. Well at least I'm trying to keep it empty, but I couldn't help myself from consistently glancing upstairs to see if Anakin came back out yet, but he hasn't, "How are you doing?" Ahsoka shouted over the music.

I gave her a thumbs up with a forced sloppy grin, "I'm great," I yelled before glancing back up at the stairs, "Do you think Anakin is sleeping with Nevaeh?" I couldn't stop myself from asking, it came out before my intoxicated mind put the words together.

Ahsoka failed to hold back a smirk, one that resembled her brothers, "Why do you care? You wouldn't happen to like him do you?"

"No," I answered quickly, "I'm just- curious that's all."

She nodded with a look that screamed she didn't believe me, then she shrugged, "I don't know. It wouldn't be unlike him to sleep with some of the staff, but I also like to think he has a bit more class than that." She shivered.

Her words hurt me more than they should have, "Did you say he sleeps with his staff?" Is that what his flirting with me is all about, he wants to add another notch to his belt?

She nodded as she continued to sway with the music and push away any guy that attempted to dance with her, "None that are here now, except maybe Nevaeh and one or two of the dancers he usually hires for the Sunday events," She said simply, not realizing how much what she was saying was actually devastating me. And it shouldn't, I know it shouldn't, but it was an involuntary feeling that I couldn't shake no matter how hard I tried.

It was then that I glanced up and saw Anakin standing on the top floor with Piett by his side. They were smiling and laughing together, probably talking about his latest conquest with the walking STD, who just happened to be strutting towards Ahsoka and I to get back to the bar. Without thinking, I stuck out my foot when Nevaeh walked past me, tripping her and causing her to fall flat on her face. It was such a high school move, but it was the first thing that came to mind to do.

"Oh my god," I said with no enthusiasm as the crowd around her gasped and one man helped her up to her feet, "Are you okay?"

She stood up and wiped the dirt off of her from the ground and fixed her blonde hair, "I'm fine." She snapped bitterly before walking back to the bar.

"I saw that." Ahsoka nudged my shoulder with an amused smile.

I shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about." I said with an unbothered grin on my face as I began swaying with the music, my eyes drifting up and meeting a pair of ocean blue. Anakin was watching me now with a smirk on his face, which makes me wonder if he saw what I did or not.

And it irked me that he found my envy to be amusing.

Envy.. that's exactly what I was feeling and even though I knew it my heart I shouldn't be, especially over him — it was something I couldn't control, and it terrified me.

But in this moment, my fear was temporarily pushed down and it was being taken over by envy and anger. If he thinks it's so funny, then why don't I give him something to laugh about?

The music changed to another song that was slower than the rest, but it still had a soft and quick beat to dance properly to. I took my eyes away from Anakin's for only a moment when I grabbed the closest guy to me that didn't look like he came with anyone, and with the beat, I danced against him.

I drifted my gaze back up to Anakin as I guided the man's hand to my neck and moved my body with his to the melody, "Are you still going to deny there's any feelings? Because it's obvious what you're trying to do," Ahsoka mumbled close to my ear as I watched Anakin's jaw clench, his eyes glossing over with the same anger and envy that I was feeling.

I leaned my head back into the strangers chest with a mischievous grin, "Not sure what you mean. He was up there doing whatever he wants, and now I'm down here doing what I want."

Ahsoka looked away from me for a few seconds, then glanced in my direction again with a sheepish smile, "He's coming down here." She announced. And when I turned my attention back to where Anakin once was - I saw him walking down the steps, his vexed eyes on me.

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I hope I did okay with this one and no one was confused on how she feels, and if you are then please let me know so I can explain it better (:
I always get so anxious when I write a complex transition like this, you know like when I have my characters come to terms with something. It gets difficult writing out all those emotions effectively so please give me all your feedback ❤️
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