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"Someday we will find what we are looking for. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll find something greater than that."

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You know that moment when your entire life flashes before your eyes and you see every single joyous memory you have, and even the memories you had hoped to never relive again?

Well, that's what happened to me the second I locked eyes with a suspected murderous crime lord. While holding a device that I had planted in his office to spy on him.

I saw happy memories with my parents, sad memories where I lost people I loved, the time I met my now husband, when I graduated the police academy, and the day I got married.

My wedding day is the key memory that stood out though. But I wasn't thinking about walking down the aisle, uttering words of devotion, or crying at the altar. Actually, I didn't even cry on my wedding day.

Don't get me wrong, I do love Connor and I was happy that day, but I wasn't overcome with joy to the point to where I was pushed to tears. It was simply another Thursday for me, with a dress, cake, and alcohol. Oh, and presents.

But the moment I was thinking about, and was on replay in my mind during this instant - was ten minutes prior to walking down the aisle.

꧁꧂

My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I was looking at myself in the mirror, scared beyond belief. I had two options flowing through my mind right about now; option one, I could crawl out of the window and make a run for it; or option two, swallow the overwhelming fear and go tell the man that loves me 'I do'.

Both were tempting — equally tempting.

I took a few deep breaths as I leaned forward onto the vanity and closed my eyes, "I can do this, I can do this," I whispered before looking  up and locked eyes with myself through the mirror, "I can do this." I repeated as I attempted to muster up the courage to make the one decision that would've leave a church full of people hating me.

"Honey?" There was a knock on the room door, before it slowly opened and my mother came in with an expression of concern, "Baby we're all waiting for you, are you-" She paused when she got closer and eyed my dress as watered formed in her eyes, "Oh honey, you look so beautiful." She beamed with an excited joy.

And I wanted to give her the same joy in return. In fact, I wanted to be bouncing off the walls with excitement as I always expected I'd be on my wedding day. But instead, she received a solemn sigh as I dropped my head down, "I don't feel beautiful, I feel so out of place."

"What do you mean? Are you okay?" She gently placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it for a soothing comfort that only worked to an extent.

I was silent for a few moments as I thought of the words I wanted to say; hoping they made just as much sense out loud as they did in my head, "I'm scared I'm making the wrong choice mom. I love Connor and I think he's the kindest, sweetest, most genuine man in the world and he treats me so well. It's hard to even believe he's real," I glanced up to meet her gaze through the mirror, "But I feel like there's something that's missing. I just don't know what it is."

She slowly smiled as she squeezed my shoulder before dropping it down and adjusting my dress that was wrinkling in a few places, "Baby that's just the cold feet talking, you and Connor are soulmates. This feeling is normal, but it'll pass." She assured me in a soft tone.

I spun around to face her and she began adjusting the strands of hair around my face, "I guess I just always thought there was more to love than this," Not that Connor isn't doing enough, he's doing everything a woman deserves.

Like I said before, I do love him, but it feels like an average kind of love - something you see in everyday life. When I'm someone who has seen every romance movie and read every romance novel there is — then spent the majority of my life daydreaming of having that endearing love that electrifies the heart and leaves the mind feeling like it's high on cloud nine.

And sadly, that's not something I get with Connor. There's no deep passion or intense butterflies, and he has never once put me in a position that has taken my breath away. This relationship just felt so — normal. It wasn't electrifying or jaw-dropping, just plain normal boring love.

But I guess that's on me, I should have never put my expectations so unrealistically high.

So maybe my Mom is right, maybe Connor really is my soulmate and all I need to do is pull my head out of the clouds to see it, "Baby if you truly think he's not the one then-"

"No," I interrupted her as I slowly grabbed the veil from on top of the vanity, "You're right. It's just cold feet. Connor is an amazing man and he really loves me." I forced a smile as I tried to push away my doubt that was casting a shadow over me, "I know he's the one." I placed the veil on top of my head with a low sigh.

Or at least...I hope he is.

꧁꧂

But why? Why is that the memory that my mind keeps showing me?

I heard movement in front of me and I quickly snapped myself back to reality. Skywalker was slowly trying to get up, but judging my his slow movements and the drunken daze in his eyes — he was going to fall flat on his face.

I stood up straight from where I was and made my way to him, "Don't, you're gonna fall or throw up in here and I'm definitely not cleaning it," I placed my hand on his chest and my fingertips brushed against his bare skin that was exposed from his unbuttoned shirt, before I gently pushed him back down.

He didn't put up a fight as I expected him to and allowed me to lay him back down with his head laying  against the arm rest, "Calm down, I didn't even drink that much," He mumbled in a slur as brought his arms up and placed them behind his head, his eyes on me.

Didn't drink that much? Funny, he probably drank more than Clovis and his friends combined. It's a miracle he's even able to speak right now, but then again, I'm not sure what his tolerance is - he could've built it up over the years. His poor liver.

I rolled my eyes, "The two empty bottles you have sitting on your desk say otherwise."

He smiled as he looked down to my hand that was still touching him, and I instantly retracted it, "Those were from yesterday," He flickered his gaze back up with a light shrug, clearly lying. And before I was able to comment, he spoke first, "And you didn't answer my question, what do you have there?" He asked, slowly tilting his head to the side. The dark circles under his eyes were darker than usual and his eyes were bloodshot.

My hand tightened around the device and for a moment, I stopped breathing out of fear that I was about to be caught. Until I came to realize something — I can use this to my advantage.

I can use this to help him trust me.

I raised the hand that held the listening device and showed it to him resting in my palm, "I'm not sure, I was thinking it was apart of your laptop," I said confidently as he brought an arm up from behind his head so he could reach over and take the bug from me. He brought it close to his eyes and inspected it as he twisted it between his thumb and index finger.

"And where was it?" He asked without taking his eyes off of it.

"The floor over by your desk," I answered honestly.

By handing this over without hesitation, it makes me look trustworthy. It'll aid him in believing that I have nothing to hide, and by playing the clueless card - I look even more innocent. Maybe this can be the start of him slowly letting his guard down with me.

He hummed before placing it in his pants pocket, "Yeah it might be. I have a buddy who can take a look at it tomorrow." He out his arm back behind his head with a yawn.

He's not stupid, he knows exactly what it is, and I know he has to be bothered by it, but he's probably keeping himself calm and collected because I'm here. And as soon as I get back to that apartment tonight, I'm going to have to shatter that laptop so it can't be traced back to me. Since I'm positive this buddy he mentioned, is going to attempt to track down where the bug came from.

"So what exactly are you doing in here? I don't recall allowing you to come in." His eyes met mine once more as he adjusted his position to get comfortable.

"Sorry Mr.Skywalker," I walked backwards towards his desk and grabbed the contract - my save, "I was told by Piett to come and bring this for you to sign. I did knock, but when I got no answer I was worried you'd be knocking on heavens door due to alcohol poisoning." I was next to him again and I held out the contract for him to take.

He smiled and breathed a low chuckle, "That's cute that you think I'd be going to heaven, and that you were worried about me." He took it from me with a quick wink before his eyes scanned over the words;his comment replaying in my mind until he spoke again, "Oh, its your contract, congratulations on passing Pietts stupid little trial days." He held his palm open towards me and I eyed it with confusion. After a few moments of awkward silence he looked at me from the corner of his eye, "Can't sign it without a pen (y/n)."

I narrowed me eyes before going to his desk to grab the first pen I saw, "Well you could have asked me nicely." I said, placing the pen in his palm with a little more force than necessary.

He rolled his eyes as he flipped to the last page and placed the tip of the pen on the line he was meant to sign, "Well you should have brought a pen when you handed this to me, it's common sense," He blinked slowly a few times and I was positive it's cause he was seeing double, maybe even triple judging by the slurring of his words.

"You know, you don't have to be so rude, I haven't done anything to deserve it," I folded my arms over my chest and glared down at him.

He snapped his blood shot gaze up, annoyance in his eyes,"You're awfully bold for someone who needs my signature to remain employed."

"I wouldn't say I'm being bold, but I have shown you nothing but respect since meeting you, and it's only right to give me the same respect in return — wether you're my superior or not." I spoke respectfully, despite wanting to yell it at him. But this is something I wholeheartedly believe and am passionate about, given I had a similar situation to this when I first became a cop. Let me tell you, being a woman in the field of law enforcement is no walk in the park.

He looked a little stunned by my words and said  nothing for a few moments before turning his attention back to the contract, and slowly signing it, "Here." He held it towards me, "I need yours, then you can leave it on my desk for me to file tomorrow." He said without commenting on what I had said before. But the calmness of his demeanor led me to believe that he knew I was right, and he was being an unsolicited ass.

I took it from him, and the pen, and did exactly that. After placing the document on his desk, I faced the door, "Thank you sir, I'll see you tomorrow." I stepped forward to leave, but paused when he stopped me.

"Hold on," He slowly sat up with his eyes still on me, and then I noticed he was holding something towards me, "Take it."

It was money, a lot of it.

I furrowed my brows and made no efforts to take it from him, "Why?"

He shrugged with a low sigh, "For how I acted okay, just take it."

Tempting, but no, "I don't want your money sir, a simple apology would suffice."

He dropped his hand down with a look of intrigue in his eyes, "You'd rather me mumble a few syllables than take three hundred dollars?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes actually."

He smiled as he put the money back into his pocket, "Okay then, I'm sorry." The words parted from his lips in a soft tone, as if he was delicately stroking them with his tongue.

"Apology not accepted."

His eyes widened slightly and I swear his jaw almost hit the floor, "What?"

I couldn't help it, I needed a little laugh to help me feel better over this stressful first week, "I'm just messing with you, you're forgiven boss."

He breathed a laugh, and I felt like it was the first time I have ever heard him really laugh. I've heard him chuckle under his breath or give a quiet giggle, but never a laugh like this, "You got me-" He paused and the look on his face was all too familiar.

(TW: vomiting)
I quickly grabbed the wastebasket and ran to his side just in time for him to vomit into it. He grabbed the sides and let everything out, "Thought you said you didn't drink that much?"

Without taking a break from his heaving, he raised one hand - holding up the middle finger.

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"You're getting it everywhere." I complained as my drunken boss spilled water all over the floor instead of drinking it.

He smirked, "That's what she said."

I rolled my eyes with a sigh, men.

After his little vomiting episode, his mood changed. It seemed like the alcohol was flowing freely and he was a lot less serious and a lot more — happy.

"Try again, you have to take these and drink some water or in the morning, you'll regret ever being born," I placed the aspirin in his palm and held the water out towards him.

With a hiccup, he took the aspirin and the bottled water, this time being careful not to drop it, "Okay I'll take this Winnie," Oh that incessant nickname he has decided to call me, I absolutely hate it, "But first," He raised his index finger with the hand holding the pills before pointing to his mouth, "You gotta give me a kiss."

I raised my brows, suppressing a laugh, "You want me to kiss you after you just threw up less than fifteen minutes ago?" He is completely wasted, he even offered to buy me a car a few minutes ago. And a house.

He shrugged, dropping his hand down lazily and it smacked against the floor - which is where he decided he wanted to be, "I used mouthwash," He whined.

"Sir, you're very drunk and I am not kissing you. You're my boss and I'm your employee, it would be wrong." And I'm married and trying to send you to prison.

He was now smirking again, "Exactly, doesn't that make it even more exciting?"

I grabbed his hand that had the pills and brought it closer to his mouth, "Not happening, now take the pills."

"No," He protested like a toddler.

How the hell did I get myself in this situation? I'm basically babysitting and neither Piett nor Ahsoka were anymore in sight. And my morals wouldn't allow me to leave Skywalker alone like this. But at least this will make a great story for my daily report to Kenobi.

"Sir, take the asprin, please," I begged pushing his own hand closer to his mouth.

"Fine, but only cause you said please," He gave in easily, but I had a feeling there was a catch, "But I'm going to need you to give them to me." He stuck his tongue out dramatically.

I was this close to just giving up and leaving, but I decided to play along in hopes that he'll eventually comply, fall asleep, and I can put him in the care of someone else - anyone else.

I took the pills from his palm and set them on his tongue, all while I kept my eyes locked with his. My stomach then did an involuntary flip as he slowly retracted his tongue and uttered a few words that I didn't expect to hear, "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" He asked softly, looking at me in a way that I've never been looked at before.

"Um," His words caught me by surprise, and thankfully I didn't have to think of a response for him because the door to his office opened. In walked Ahsoka whose eyes widened when they landed on her intoxicated brother.

"Fuck," She came to his side in an instant and brushed through his hair with her fingers gently as she used a napkin she had with her to wipe the sweat away from his face, "How bad is he?" She asked me as he mumbled a few words that were incoherent to us both.

"Well he threw up and asked me to kiss him," I said bluntly, earning me a sigh from her.

"Thank you for helping him, but I'm so sorry (y/n), I know this isn't what you signed up for." She threw the napkin to the side, never taking her eyes off her  brother, "You can go home, Piett and I will take care of it from here." She turned to me for only a second, shooting me a soft smile, before looking back at him.

"Are you sure?" I stood up and Skywalker's eyes followed me the entire time, "I haven't even finished cleaning downstairs."

"We got it covered," She assured me softly as she sat down next to her brother and grabbed the water bottle to offer it to him - which he took, "You helped more than enough. And I swear he doesn't get like this often, just sometimes he gets overwhelmed and swears alcohol is a solution." She sighed, glancing up at me with apologetic eyes. She was probably assuming I thought bad of him, and although I do have a negative view of this man - it wasn't because of this.

"It's okay, I understand what stress can do to a person," I smiled with a reassuring nod, "I'll see you tomorrow then, if you're here."

"I am," She took the water back from him before he could spill it on the carpet, "I'll see you then."

I turned to leave, but before I could. Skywalker said something that caught my attention, "I think I know what you are." I stopped as I was in the doorway, stunned, "(y/n)," He called me and I looked in his direction, fear creeping up my spine as I anticipated his next words. He eyed me up and down, before giving me half-smile "I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. I can read people well — you're sugar."

I breathed out a long exhale of relief, "Yes I am, goodnight sir." I gave him one last nod before exiting his office.

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Hope you liked it! And I was definitely half asleep as I wore that ending so I hope it's not messy haha 💕
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