By the next morning, I still hadn't heard anything from Jungkook and it sank me further into the ocean of worry.

Jungkook hadn't struck me as the type to run at the display of affection because when it came to displaying affection, he was a pro at it.

Two times, he'd offered to change my phone. He bought me a perfume worth hundreds of dollars. Every time I was at his place, he opened a bottle of wine which cost more than some people's rent. So, when it came to acts of romance, Jungkook knew all about them.

Which was why I still couldn't wrap my head around his silence. In fact, I hadn't heard from Jungkook since he'd dropped me off on Sunday night, when I'd drunk myself to stupor at his place. It made me wonder if his silence had nothing to do with my confession, at all.

Pushing aside my thoughts, I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. It was switched off. This heightened my anxiety level. I dialed his number 4 more times hoping it would magically come on and he'd pick up, but the result was the same: switched off.

I was already dressed for school, so I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs. Mum and Aunt Soohyun were in the Kitchen, talking. "Jin, I wanted to talk to you about something," Mum said as soon as I got to the door.

"Later, please," I said, not walking into the kitchen. I stood by the door, already eager to carry on. "I really have to go now."

Mum was still talking but I was already outside the door, racing to the bus stop. I wasn't sure why but I had a strong feeling that something was not right.

On my way to the bus stop, I found a taxi and hopped in. I was spending so much on cab fares but that was the least of my worries at the moment. I just wanted to make sure that Jungkook was okay, that his silence was intentional.

The cab driver couldn't get to his apartment fast enough. I turned out the window and stared out, praying deep down that Jungkook was fine.

After what seemed like an eternity, the cab stopped in front the familiar apartment complex that loomed twenty stories into the sky. It was the biggest building in this part of town; the filthy rich part of town.

I paid the fare, before making my way into the building. Cold breeze from the air conditioner wrapped around my body like a blanket. The receptionist motioned me over as I headed to the elevator.

"Mr. Jeon isn't around," She said to me, her smile soft and sweet. She reminded me of those female Kpop idols on TV with her bright skin and trendy outfit.

"Where did he go?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure but he left on Sunday night."

"Did he seem okay?" I asked, unable to hide the worry lacing every word I spoke. I was certain the worry was evident on my face as well because she gave me an apologetic look.

"He seemed fine," she assured me. "He didn't tell you he was leaving?"

I shook my head but forced on a smile. "I'm sure he forgot." But I didn't understand how could he forget to tell me he was leaving? "Do you have any idea when he's coming back?"

"I'm sorry I don't," she said.

I nodded before making my way out of the building, completely torn and dejected.

Namjoon was certain that I was overthinking this whole thing with Jungkook being gone and not telling me about it. But I wasn't.

"You are," he said adamantly, climbing out of the driver's side of his Aston Martin and making it around to my side. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason why he went AWOL."

I shook my head. "I don't care what his reason is, Namjoon. I just want to see him and know that he's okay."

Namjoon let out a sigh next to me as we walked towards the schoolyard. He was going with me to school because the carnival was open to the public and I didn't want to spend the day feeling horrible about my life.

Tents had already been set up because I was two hours late to school and the carnival was supposed to end by twelve, according to the principal.

"Maybe he got tired of me," I said in frustration.

"Stop overthinking this," he said, throwing his arm around my shoulder. "Wait, isn't that the dude that came to the house?" Namjoon asked, suddenly. He was frowning so I followed his gaze to Yoongi's tent where Taehyung was standing handing out free doughnuts to people. "He really does go to your school."

"Yeah. Just ignore him."

"As a matter of fact, I have some money to spend," he said, his childish mischief setting in as he made his way over with me trying to stop him. "It's the homeless dude," he called, a fake laugh leaving his mouth.

Taehyung turned to us, confusion evident on his face. "Namjoon?"

"You know my name. Funny thing, I don't know yours. Funnier thing, I couldn't give a shit what you're called, you boyfriend stealing bastard." He drew out his wallet, grabbed a couple of bills and tossed it on the table, probably five times more than what everything on the table cost.

The he grabbed the basket of bracelets and dumped the entire thing on the floor, kicking here and there, causing an unwarranted attention.

"Namjoon, stop it," I said sternly, pulling him by his arm and giving him a hard look. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Can we take this somewhere else?" Taehyung asked, eyes darting towards the curious onlookers. Then they settled on me. "Yoongi would be so disappointed in you when he returns and sees this mess."

"If you utter a single word to him again, I swear you'll be eating these beads off the floor," Namjoon gritted out. "Do you think you have the right to point fingers?" Namjoon continued, ignoring the crowd. It wasn't his school, he had nothing to fear or be embarrassed by.

But I had. "Quit it," I said to Namjoon, but if he'd heard me, he didn't show it.

"This is completely uncalled for. Why do you have to make a mess to prove your point?" He shook his head, face clouded with disapproval. "You're so childish."

In seconds, Namjoon had already kicked Taehyung in the chest, sending him crashing against the table, the contents flying to the floor. Then he was on top of him, punching his face and stuffing a handful of bracelets into his mouth.

I dashed towards them, tearing a raging Namjoon from him. He was kicking and hauling insults at Taehyung. I'd never seen him that upset.

He tried to pry out of my hold but I was able to pull him away from the gasps and the whisperings and the judging eyes.

"Will you just relax?!" I yelled at him and my raised voice shut him up. He huffed and folded his arms over his chest before settling on the steps at the back of the school that led to the backdoor exit. "You've given the entire school something to talk about for the next few days."

"You're all welcome."

"What the hell is wrong with you? It's not a joke, Namjoon. What you did back there was unnecessary. Every damn thing. That was Yoongi's booth."

"The target was obviously not your Yoongi. That smug asshole just happened to be there, unfortunately, and what happened to the booth happened," he said stubbornly, still certain his action was right. "Imagine calling me childish."

I couldn't believe him. I'd thought he had matured but he was still the same immature idiot I'd known him to be. There was no way I'd get away with what just happened. I'd be suspended for sure.

"If you don't want to be called childish then act mature," I said. "It's your fault if I get in trouble for this," I accused him.

"Yeah yeah, I'll take responsibility for it," he said dismissively causing me to wince at the familiarity of the words.

I blocked out the memory that had almost creeped and expelled a deep breath before settling on the step next to Namjoon. We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke "I punched Taehyung last week."

Namjoon turned to look at me, his mouth hanging low and his eyes wide as two Petri dishes placed side by side. Then he started laughing hysterically. "What happened?"

I narrated everything to Namjoon. The situation with Taehyung and Yoongi, Taehyung and Hoseok's weird relationship and Hoseok's confession to me.

"Jesus Christ. My brother's nasty!" Namjoon said, wincing and rolling his eyes. "So, he wants you to be in a relationship with him and Taehyung?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't ask for details because I don't need them."

He nodded. "So, you really don't have feelings for him again? It's all Jungkook in there now."

"It's not that simple. Until I met Jungkook—even after that—I was still certain I wanted Hoseok. But when he told me he had feelings for me, honestly, I wished he hadn't told me."

I hadn't even responded to his confession. He'd called and sent texts asking to meet up but I didn't think meeting with Hoseok would do me any good now. First, there was no way in hell I would date him if he was rolling around with Taehyung whenever he was horny. Also, I wanted to be with someone else. Not him, anymore.

"I guess you're getting over him."

"I still care about him deeply," I said sincerely.

"Getting over someone doesn't mean you stop caring for them. It just means you're ready to put the past aside and start new," he said, and I couldn't deny the truth in those words.

Namjoon didn't stay long after the altercation. He told me he was going to come to my house after visiting Chef Guy later in the night.

Yoongi's anger towards me increased. His glare intensified everytime he saw me and when I tried to buy a bracelet from his booth to support his campaign, he completely ignored me and leered at any of his friends who tried to take my money.

Instead, I bought a bracelet from Mino. It wasn't out of spite for Yoongi but because of the kind of bracelet he was selling. I chose a white pearl baracelet with a single fake blue sapphire stone which was a symbol of love. He was taking advantage of Valentine's Day which was in two days, which was smart because when I bought the bracelet there were just three left in the basket.

I thought of Jungkook as I pocketed it, not sure why I was even buying it but I couldn't bring myself to walk by his tent without stopping.

I tried apologizing to Yoongi after the carnival had ended. I didn't make the apology personal or about Taehyung, I just said sorry for ruining his booth. "I'm ready to do whatever to make up for it," I said, hoping he'd take advantage of the offer and ask me to help with something regarding his campaign, that way I could slowly wriggle my back into his good book.

Yoongi had stared at me with a bored expression for the longest time before spitting at me to go fuck myself.

There was a rally after the Carnival by the electoral candidates at the school's field but I didn't stay for it. I'd had enough social interaction for one day and packed up my backpack and went home.

I tried Jungkook's number again, but it was still the same story. I tossed my phone on the bed, wishing I knew more about Jungkook. Wishing I knew, at least, one friend of his that I could call.

But while he probably had Namjoon's number, I had nothing, knew nothing. He was like a beautiful ghost, haunting my heart and soul with his presence— and more painfully—his absence.

I lay in my bed in my uniform feeling emotionally frustrated. He shouldn't have let me fall for him if he was going to just disappear without a warning. He should have warned me that the thing between us was strictly sex and nothing more. He should not have been good to me. He should not have held me up every time I felt low and promised I would be okay every time I wasn't.

More importantly, he shouldn't have given me the assurance that he'd be here whenever I needed him, because I needed him now and he wasn't here.

I felt a pull towards the bathroom, to lock the door behind me and run water over my body—drown myself in hot water, from the top of my head to the sole of my feet.

Don't you need a distraction? The voice in my head asked. The one that constantly promised a relief every time I went to the bathroom. Just hold on a little longer, Jin, it always urged.

The pain you feel on your body cancels the pain you feel in your heart, it assured me. And God knows, it did. I tried to ignore that voice for so long but when I indulged, I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Now, willing myself to remain on my bed and not rush in there—towards the faucet or the shower whichever my temporal relief would be—was driving me nuts. I wrapped my arms around my body, slamming my head back against the mattress, begging this feeling to go away.

The feeling that was choking, squeezing and clawing at my sanity. That made me want to scream until my lungs gave out. I knew I was slowly going crazy because everything I felt wasn't normal.