"I can't accept this," I said, regrettably, taking a step away from the counter.

Jungkook's brows pinched, a confused expression morphing his gorgeous face. "Why not? You don't like the smell?" he asked.

"I do. But it's really expensive and I won't let you spend that much on me. It's not even my birthday," I protested adamantly.

He laughed, taking my hand and pulling me back to my previous position next to him, our sides pressed together. "Don't think of the price of anything when you're with me." He nodded at the lady behind the counter to ring it up. "When is your birthday, anyway?"

"Why? Namjoon didn't tell you that one?"

He turned to give me a worried look. "You said you weren't pissed about that."

I smiled, nudging my shoulder against him. "I'm just teasing you." I didn't want him to entertain the thought that I was mad at him. "I'm not pissed."

"So, when is your birthday?"

"December 4th," I answered as the lady handed Jungkook back his black card, and handed me the bag of designer perfume he'd just bought me. It was a Penhaligon woodsy perfume. Jungkook had picked it up while we surfed the store, then he'd walked over to me and whispered how he'd love to smell it on my naked body, before spritzing it on my neck.

His words had sent instant warmth to the pit of my stomach.

"Mine's in September," he said and that was probably the first piece of actual information I was learning about him besides his age. "First of September."

"Will you let me take you out for it?" I asked, before completely processing the question myself. I was really making plans for his birthday that was in seven months.

His eyes fell on mine, piercingly, looking through me. At first, I thought my question had annoyed him but the look he gave me wasn't one of anger. "Yes," he breathed out.

My heart throbbed in my throat, and I couldn't move or breathe or look away from his penetrating gaze. My question must have triggered something in him because Jungkook was pulling me towards a backdoor in the store, down a hall and into a one stall bathroom.

He shut the door, pushed me against the door and was on my lips with so much vigor, I could barely breathe. He body pressed tightly against mine as he hungrily ravished my mouth, moans of want and desire leaving both his and my mouth.

"Someone might hear us," I managed to say against his crazed lips. I didn't want him to stop, but a part of me was conscious of where we were.

"Let them," he said, pressing his lips hard against mine.

The bag fell from my shaky hand to the floor and my fingers dove into his hair, fingering, massaging his scalp as his tongue invaded my mouth, moving with reckless abandon until I felt fireworks go off in my head.

I felt his hardness against my thigh, his fingers professionally worked the buttons of shirt stripping me of it and tossing it, while I struggled to peel his own shirts off his muscular frame. There was so much obstruction between us, I was so impatient, I was dying to feel his bare skin against mine.

His lips momentarily left mine and sent trails of kisses down the side of my neck he'd sprayed the perfume. "Oh God," he groaned against my neck, his tongue—wet and wanting—swiping against my skin there, sending an army of goosebumps rising to my body, before returning his lips to my mouth, kissing me with much more passion than before.

Subconsciously, my body knew how to make him want me, and he knew how to make me forget. I was becoming so dependent on him to feel happy, to feel high, to feel free.

It was past nine when I got home.

From the door, I could hear mum in the Kitchen with someone, Aunt Soohyun. She must have arrived sometime this morning after I'd left for school.

I ran my hand over my hair to smoothen out any strand that might be out of place, checked my buttons to make sure they were buttoned correctly and my zip to be sure what was supposed to be tucked away wasn't hanging out.

Satisfied with my look, I made my way to the Kitchen where the two ladies were already watching the door for my arrival, having heard me come in.

Aunty Soohyun jumped off the bench and gave me a tight hug. She was so small against my towering frame, I was afraid I might squish her if I hugged too tight. "My godson! Look at you! You used to be so tiny!" She exclaimed clapping me on the back.

I laughed. "That was maybe ten years ago. I've not been tiny for so long."

"He grows like he's on manure," mum inputted, looking at me with that expression of admiration she always had whenever she bragged about me. "I feed him well."

Aunt Soohyun pulled away to look up at my face. "He used to look like you, Ji-A," She said to my mother. True to her words, when I was a kid I looked like my mother, I was the spitting image of her.

But in my teens, I started to change and now, I was exactly my father. Everything he was in looks, I became. Unfortunately for my mother.

She hugged me again before pulling away. "How long are you staying for?" I said to her. "Are you moving back finally?"

"Should I?" She asked batting her lashes like a doll.

I nodded, chuckling at how girly she was acting.

If I hadn't known her, I'd believe she was still in her twenties. Definitely not the kind of person you'd picture when you hear Godmother. Her pretty face was as smooth as a baby's butt and she was the type to experiment with hair dyes. She was currently spotting a beach wave with a few strands in front streaked with gold. It suited her.

"Then I just have to find an apartment and a job to keep myself busy," she said, decidedly.

"Just like that?" Mum asked, shocked.

"My godson said I should move back here, so I'm moving back here," she said, matter of-factly.

Mum gaped at us in disbelief. She had been trying to get Aunt Soohyun to move back to Korea for so long. She looked shocked that the decision had just been made because I suggested it.

I shrugged. "Power of a godson," I mouthed to mum, before kissing both women good night on the forehead and making my way upstairs to my room. I felt both exhausted and refreshed from the eventful day.

My hand still ached a bit so when I took a shower that night I held it under cold water for two minutes, not sure if that would do anything or not.

As I lay in bed, the events of the day replayed in my head. My mind drifted to Hoseok, burrowing on the disappointed look he'd given me before he left. I was mad at him. He hadn't given me a chance to explain before tagging me the bad guy. I was mad at myself as well, because I should have blurted the truth out to him in that moment without stalling or caring how it would make Taehyung feel.

I turned on my bed, the thought making me uneasy. Hoseok and I had never fought before. My anger towards him was a new feeling. I hated it. I wanted it to end, but I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about how he's rushed over to Taehyung's side.

A frustrated groan left my throat. I grabbed a pillow and pressed it over my face, wanting to drown my thoughts. It was killing me, how actively torturous my mind was. It was becoming the one thing I hated the most about myself—how it replayed painful memories in my head like a broken record.

I grabbed my phone and went on the Spotify app, searched for a soft piano playlist and let it play. It took my mind off everything as I zeroed in on the soft, rhythmic keys.

Eventually, almost five minutes later, my eyes felt heavy and the world shifted to a whole different one.

• • •

A woman stood next to me. She wore a flowing black dress, the sleeves as long as her wrist which was then hidden behind dark gloves. I couldn't see her face but something told me I knew her. She had a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles over and over again.

I heard a faint humming, but I couldn't place the source. It was calming, almost as calming as the fingers laced through mine of the other person standing on my right side. I looked down, they were long and thready with silver rings adorning each finger. It held unto me tightly as if telling me, it was going to be okay. Just like the woman from my left, the face was blurred.

I couldn't understand why I felt sad, despite the soothing rubs on my back and the calming squeezes on my hand. Even the air smelt fresh and the warm sun soothed me.

Still, my heart was breaking.

There were a lot of people there, black shadows with no faces but I felt familiar with them. I felt at home with them. Who were they?

They were looking at me. My heart picked up race. The faceless people were now smiling down at me, laughing at me—mocking. But why?

Then I felt it. Loose clumps of dirt on me. I looked around me, around the hole I stood. It was as tall as I was; 6ft. I looked back up, unable to decipher what was going on or why.

More dirts were poured on me. I couldn't move. I opened my mouth, silence. I couldn't form words or think them. I tried to reach out but my hands stayed glued to my side. I was alone. I was empty, but I was afraid and I didn't know how to express it.

I felt myself gasp for air. Nothing. I'd forgotten how to breathe. My eyes scanned the mocking faces, helplessly, pleading but all they did was laugh and pour more sand.

More dirt, more water. Razorlike rain slashed the air, but it hovered over me alone. It stayed sunny around them but it fell on me, cut me, drenched me, drowned me.

The dirt and the water.

• • •

My eyes flew open, air rushing into my lungs. I sprang upright, gasping and clutching the air for stability. My chest hurt and my eyes stung.

I shut my eyes and counted down from twenty in my head. It had been a dream. I couldn't remember the last time I had a dream, let alone a bad one.

When I opened my eyes again, I took note of my surrounding, especially the ray of sun pouring through my window. I checked my phone for the time; seven-fifteen a.m.

I sat in bed for 10 minutes, just going over my dream. It had been terrifying. It had shaken me, to be honest. The dirt, all over as I was buried alive. I pushed the memory to the back of my mind, blacking out my mind.

I climbed out of bed to prepare for school, knowing every second I spent doing nothing would be filled with thoughts I didn't want to entertain.

My mother banged on my door after I'd been in there for fifteen minutes. "Are you giving birth in there?!" Her voice came.

I turned off the shower as soon as her scolding came. I'd long washed my body. I'd just stood there letting the hot water run over my body. In the mirror, my skin was red and sore. But under the scalding water, had been a momentary distraction, a momentary high that I had enjoyed just as I'd hated.

Mum caught my hand just as I made my way out of the bathroom. The contact burned, causing me to hiss from pain.

"What?" She asked. Her eyes scanned my body, widening at the redness. "Did you boil yourself in there?" she asked, eyes filling with worry.

"I was cold," I said. I hated lying but I realised if I wanted to protect the people I loved I'd have to do it once in a while. "The entire night."

"Do you have a fever?" she pressed her hand to my forehead. "Do you feel pain anywhere else?"

I could mention a few places where I felt pain but saying it out loud would do her no good, so I shook my head, forcing a smile to show she had nothing to worry about. "I'm fine. I think I just forgot to shut my window."

She didn't look like she bought it. Her eyes still held concern. "Jin."

"I promise, I'm fine."

Finally, she left me, still looking doubtful. I went to my room to get changed into my uniform. It was still very early to go to school, so I decided to walk Aqua for a minute.

She was in the Kitchen with Aunt Soohyun and ran over to me when she saw me with her leash. I greeted good morning to Aunt Soohyun while I leashed Aqua and made my way out.

The sun was warm against my skin, reminding me of the one in my dream. The one that warmed me and later deserted me, warming everyone else while I got beaten by the rain.

I pondered, trying to find meaning in the dream. I understood it to an extent, the black outfit and me being sad—it had been a funeral. His funeral? I swallowed thickly.

But if that part was clear, what about the part of me being buried under a pile of sand and water, the people laughing at me, the person shovelling the sand—what did those parts mean?

A honk startled me and I blinked my surrounding back into focus. I was in the middle of the road, my hand empty with a black car inches from me.

The driver's side opened and Hoseok climbed out, his face masked with fear. "Jin! Are you okay?" He ran over to me, his hands on my shoulder.

At first, I couldn't understand what was happening, where I was or what I was doing here. It took a few seconds before I recalled I'd been walking Aqua.

Aqua.

I spun around looking for my dog, she was nowhere in sight. "Aqua," I said in realization, more to myself than to Hoseok. I'd lost her.

"Aqua's in my car," Hoseok said. "I found her down the road and let her in." True to his word, she was on the passenger side, tongue out as she watched us both.

Relief flooded through me. I started to make my way to let her out, but Hoseok stopped me.

I turned to look at him and the look of unease on his face was still very much there. "What is going on, Jin?" he asked.

Looking away from him, I shook my head. "What'd you mean?"

"I mean, why were you standing in the middle of the road looking lost?" He asked. "Someone could have ran you over."

"I'm fine."

"You're lying. I know you and I know you're lying to me right now," he said.

"You know me?" I asked. "You didn't think that way yesterday."

"That is why I'm here to drive you to school so we could talk about it," he explained.

"I don't want to talk."

"It's not about what you want. You messed up. I messed up. We have to fix it," he said. "So, get into the car and let's go."

He looked serious and I couldn't protest anymore, so I followed him to the car and got into the passenger side, carrying Aqua on my legs. He drove me back to the house so I could finish dressing and I headed back to where Hoseok was waiting for me.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday," he said after moments of silence, eyes not leaving the road. He had one hand on his leg, while the other was stretched out on the steering wheel. "It's just I'd never seen you act that way before."

"The more reason you should have heard my own side before condemning me as the enemy."

"Enemy? Jin, you know how much you mean to me. After what happened, I could barely focus on anything. I was mad at you. I was mad at myself. And I just couldn't take it anymore this morning which is why I'm here to clear the air."

"Taehyung isn't being honest with you."

"It would seem like that."

"It doesn't seem like that. It is like that. You don't understand, you're blinded by your feelings towards him that you don't see he's lying to you," I said.

"You're talking about Yoongi, aren't you?" He asked.

I couldn't help the shock that swallowed me. "You know about Yoongi?"

He took in a deep breath, then swerved the car to the side and parked by the road. He faced me. "Yes. I know about Yoongi and he knows about you."

My furrowed brows must have shown my confusion because he sighed. His throat flexed from swallowing. "I'm confused."

"Taehyung and I aren't an official couple, you see," he said, like it was supposed to make sense to me.

"I'm still confused."

He nodded, shifting in his seat so he could turn to face me. "So, we hookup and I like him, but we aren't exclusive." Still not making sense. "I know he has feelings for Yoongi and I'm okay with it."

"So, it's like a throuple?"

A small laugh left his mouth probably at the word I'd used, but I was sure that was what it was called. "No, not that. Yoongi has nothing to do with me. He's all Taehyung's," he said.

"And you don't mind it? That Taehyung is cheating."

"He's not cheating. Like I said, we aren't exclusive. Besides, Taehyung knows, too."

"Knows what?"

He just stared at me. He licked over his lips and let out a breath. He swallowed. "He knows that I have feelings for you."

The world slowed, then stopped. Even my breathing, I think. And my ability to process and hear things, because I was sure I'd heard wrong.

"I'm sorry," he said, with a sad smile. "I don't mean to startle you. I just wanted you to know that Taehyung didn't do anything wrong. I also wanted to me honest about my feelings."

I didn't give a rat's free ass about Taehyung anymore. Hoseok had just confessed to me. What I'd been aching to hear for five years, he'd just said it to me.

"I couldn't keep it to myself anymore, Jin," he continued when I stayed quiet. "I had to tell you."

Even though I'd been dying to hear those words for so long, I definitely didn't feel the excitement I thought I would finally hearing them.