I was startled awake in the dead of the night by a phone call. Instantly, I reached for my phone at the foot of my bed and my heart dropped.

I stared at the contact name, sliding off and back on my screen. I'd never imagined to get this call, let alone at two in the morning.

Since he left I'd never spoken to him on the phone, never have I had the courage to call him either. The number had been saved onto my phone just for the sake of it, not because I never intended to use it, but just because having it there made me feel normal, like a normal kid having their father's phone number.

But this call had come in too late. More than ten years late. It brought back the anger I'd forgotten. The anger that had been masked with the fear of his sickness. It resurfaced and knowing I'd say words I'd probably regret to him if I answered it, I turned off my phone and tossed it into my reading desk.

Later at school, I couldn't stop thinking about my dad, his call and my reaction. Wondering what he'd wanted to say to me at two in the morning and if it'd been something I'd wanted to hear.

Twice I started to dial his number, but twice I ended it before it rang. I couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough to it. So, I gave up.

I didn't tell my mum about it either. It seemed like we were struggling through the news in our own different way. I wasn't even sure how she was coping, I was barely making it through each day.

It made me feel guilty, like I'd shut her out, like I hadn't been doing what I was supposed to be doing which was taking care of her. It's been me and her all these years. Just us against the world and now, it was me struggling with self harm and then there was her struggling with... I didn't even know.

A familiar BMW was waiting outside the gate after school had ended. I was heading out towards the bus when I spotted it, my insides turning fuzzy.

I stood by the gate staring, not believing my eyes because there was no way, but the driver side opened and Jungkook walked out, in all of his breathtaking glory.

For a moment I was stunned, just in awe of his looks, his everything that just commanded all eyes to fall on him. Students mumbled and whispered and blushed at his sight but he just looked at me, an apologetic look masking his handsome face.

I didn't want to go over to him, despite how fast my heart was beating, despite how much I'd missed him, I was too angry at him for leaving me. I started to walk away but he mouthed something I didn't quite get.

My brows pinched in confusion and he mouthed it again, this time the wind carried his gentle voice and deposited it in my ears. "Please." It took a minute before I was able to push aside my anger and go over to him.

I didn't enter the car, I stopped by the hood and just stared down at the shiny paintwork of the car. I felt him approach me, smelling his intoxicating scent even before he got to me. His closeness sent my heart accelerating, I swallowed. What was he doing to me?

"I'm so sorry for leaving like that," he said. "But you wouldn't even believe it if I told you."

I wanted to tell him that there was never a time I doubted his words. Until two days ago.

"Please, look at me," he begged, his voice soft and pleading. I ignored him. "I was in an accident," he said.

That made me look at him, and my heart sank at what I saw. He had a bandaid on his forehead, a cut just under his eyes and the right side of his bottom lip had a blister. "How?" the question left my mouth shakily. "I didn't know."

He nodded. "I know," he said, eyes piercing into mine. Worry tore at me. "I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"After I dropped you on Sunday, I received a work call and got distracted, ran a red light and slammed into the side of a truck."

The possibility of what could have happened to him scared the hell out of me. He was lucky to have made it out alive after an accident like that. I couldn't even imagine what I'd do if the situation had been worse than this.

"I'm sorry," I said, all trace of my initial anger gone. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I lost my phone. I should have dropped a message with Joy at the lobby but I was completely out of it and it skipped my mind."

I nodded my understanding. "It's fine. I just wanted to be sure you were okay. I was worried when I didn't hear from you." I was worried you were done with me.

"I can imagine," he said, taking closer steps to me before pulling me into an embrace, his lips pressing against the side of my head.

He sat back against the bonnet of his car, pulling me between his legs. Very conscious of my schoolmates' curious eyes on us, I started to protest. "Not here," I said, leaning away.

His hold around me tightened, he wrapped his legs around my own legs, teapping me in place. "Everywhere," he whispered to me, pressing another kiss into my neck. I smiled.

A sudden calm washed through me, the amount of comfort he brought me was incomparable to any I'd ever felt before. "I'm sorry for making you worry," he said. "I promise it'd never happen again."

I relaxed into his hold, just basking in everything that we were at the moment. I didn't care anymore at the million and one stares or the whsipers floating around us, all I cared for was that Jungkook was here with me.

• • •

Jungkook stopped at his favourite restaurant to buy lunch before we headed to his place. The whole room was enveloped in darkness but flooded with light the moment our feet touched the tiles.

I felt a sense of welcoming as I entered, the kind you feel when you come home. That was how Jungkook's place felt to me, like home.

We'd barely made it into the living room before Jungkook came up behind me, his face nuzzled into my neck, his nose gently rubbing the skin there, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

I leaned into his touch, eager for it, having missed the feeling and the pleasure of a moment of like this. A moment that made me feel the most alive.

His pulled my shirt from my trouser and slid his hands under it, caressing my torso, tracing the curve of each of my abs, taunting the V line of my hips. His hardness pressed against my ass, his hips moving gently into mine.

My eyes shut, soft sighs escaped my parted lips. I was in heaven, hearing the faint harmonies of moans from Jungkook's mouth, finding bliss in the kisses he planted on my neck and shoulder, and eternity in each thrust of his hips.

"I missed you," he said, his words strained by how turned on he was. "So much."

I wanted to tell him that I missed him too but words failed me, as I basked in the high I was on. He reached into my pant and grabbed my hardness, a gasp escaped from my lips as I slammed my hands against his sides, holding on for balance and he pumped me, slowly at first, then his pace increased by the second.

It felt so good and soon, I was reaching a high I never wanted to come down from.

Jungkook urged me to take a shower with him, which was just a coy to have me naked. We spent more time in the bathroom than we were supposed to but I wasn't complaining. I'd craved him so much and in every moment I spent with him, I wanted to use it to satisfy that craving.

After our long intense shower, I changed into some of Jungkook's clothes and we sat to eat the food he'd bought. I managed to eat with him while we talked, catching up on everything and nothing.

There'd been a little glitch with his work that had required him to travel to Thailand, but it was all good now.

"What kind of work exactly?" I'd asked.

"Logistics," he'd said.

"Sounds fun. Though, I know nothing about logistics."

He dropped his spoon, and turned to me. "Basically, logistics is transporting. But our kind of logistics is transportations of intermodal containers. These containers are used to send really large amount of goods across countries and continents by sea, usually. What happens is, once a ship carrying these containers docks at the wharf, the containers goes through customs just to make certain they aren't contrabands. After they're cleared, the clients—that is the owners of these intermodal containers—would have at this point already bargained with a logistics company to move these containers to certain places. Now, this is where my job comes up. Transporting these containers with our trucks."

"A whole ship full of containers for a single client?" My eyes bulged at the magnitude.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No. A lot of the containers belongs to a lot of different people and organizations. The most containers we've had to handle from a single client on one ship are 90."

"The company you work for has 90 trucks? That's a lot."

"Not 90. We actually have 500."

"Woah. So, where are these containers transported to?" I asked, finding myself intrigued in this. To be honest, it didn't matter what Jungkook did for a living, I just found myself interested in anything that had to do with him.

"A warehouse, garage, private property, a different state. Literally, anywhere we have permission to take them to."

Nodding, I asked. "Oh, I understand now. Is it hard? I mean, is it stressful? Your job."

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

"I'm guessing you have a strict boss."

He hummed in thought for a second then nodded. "He can be overbearing and harsh on me. He pushes me to work harder everyday and although, it annoys the hell out of me, in the end I love my job so it's not a problem," he answered, and my heart tugged at the thought of a strict boss shouting orders to him.

"So, I'm guessing he's not happy with you not being at work today or did he give you some days of because of the accident?"

"Well, the accident is one reason why I'm not a work. The other is sitting right in front of me."

Feeling suddenly flustered by his words, I turned away to hide my blush. "Right."

"Look, my boss can shove it. I don't care what he thinks. I'm going to spend as much time with you as I want and he has to deal with it."

"Wouldn't that get you in trouble?" I asked biting down on my lip to hide my smile from excitement.

"Probably, but he can't afford to fire me."

"He can't?"

He shook his head. "If he does, then I'll pick up the entire company and erect it somewhere else."

My brows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

"I own it. It's my company."

To be honest, I knew Jungkook was rich. Everything about him proved that he had money—his penthouse apartment fully furnished with expensive furnitures and beautiful decor, his cars, the way he dresses and how he spends money like he had a flowing river of it.

I just thought he was spending his father's money or something. He was 22, but he owned such a big logistics company with 500 trucks! It was just as impressive but I was curious.

"You have questions, don't you?" He asked, giving me a slightly wary look, like he believed I disapproved of what he'd just told me.

It took a minute before I could open my mouth to speak because I didn't want him to think he was right, that I disapproved of this or was cautious. I just wanted to understand how. "But you're so young."

"I lived in Thailand for four years," he said. "There I did a lot of horrible things to survive. I worked with the most heartless man to ever live and he tried to turn me into another version of himself. But I couldn't live that way. I wanted more for my life, I wanted to live honest and right, so I left and came home to Korea. I started my logistics business with 20 trucks, but 2 months into my business I ran into someone I used to know in Bangkok. I'd helped him out of a sticky situation with my former boss, and to show his appreciation, he invested in my company and linked me up with half the clients I have right now. I got more trucks, received so many quotations. It was insane how fast my company took off with his help. In just 2 years, I've made twice the money he invested in it. My past was disgusting, Jin, but that's not who I am anymore. I run a clean business and try to live a honest life. You have nothing to be afraid of."

I shook my head, leaning out  on the stool. "I would never judge you for anything. I've come to know you, Jungkook, and I know whatever you did, you did it to survive. Whatever bad decision you did, it led you to make a good one. It led you to make the decision to be better, to live better and that's all that matters. It doesn't matter where you're coming from. What matters is where you are now and where you're headed."

Afraid? Didn't he know he was my sanctuary?

"Jin," he called, but didn't say anything. He just stared at me with soft eyes.

"My reaction wasn't from fear," I explained. "It's awe. You're so young yet you've achieved so much. That's a lot to talk about and be proud of. Don't ever look or sound ashamed for achieving so much so soon. Never, kook."

Still, he said nothing, instead, Jungkook grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto his lap, crashing his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back, feeling butterflies in my stomach and a tug on my heart string. But this time, the emotions I felt were out of respect and pride for him.

When he pulled away, he cocked a brow and smirked. "Kook?" He asked.

"What?"

"You just called me Kook," he said.

"No, I didn't," I denied instantly, climbing off him and settling back on my seat.

"Yes, you did," he said, his perfect mouth breaking into a perfect smile. His perfect brown eyes pierced into mine. "I like it. Keep calling me that."

"No way." I shook my head.

"Yes way," he said, giving me a teasing grin.

I opened my mouth to protest but his doorbell rang. He had a doorbell, I realized. I never for once used it. I always knocked on the door out of habit.

"Give me a second," he said before slipping off the stool and making his way to the living room. I remained in my seat, basking in embarrassment.

Moments later, he returned holding a gift bag. I, instantly recognized it and had to hold myself back from diving towards him, snatching the bag away and running to bury it in the sahara dessert.

He had a confused crease on his forehead as he lifted the bottle of wine, and then dropped it on the table. I swallowed nervously. Then he pulled out the flower that had already started to die.

I didn't wait for him to pull out the note before I got to my feet and headed straight up the stairs and shut the door behind me. I was not supposed to be here when he received them. In fact, I was supposed to have withdrawn them after I hadn't heard from him, if it was possible.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I hated how nervous I felt. I should never have done something like this if I wasn't ready to face the consequences of it and trust me, I wasn't.

I stayed upstairs, listening and waiting for him to appear as well, dreading the moment as the minutes ticked by. But he didn't.

Ten minutes later, I gathered enough courage and made my way downstairs. Taking the stairs, one step at a time. Jungkook was by the kitchen, trimming the flowers, probably trying to salvage what was left of it.

"It's dying," he said without looking back, exhaling deeply. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to receive this."

"It's okay."

He shook his head, dumping the whole thing in the sink before leaning against the table. "No, it's not," he said, evidently upset. "This is the sweetest thing someone I care about has ever done for me. I should have been here. I should have let you know. You're important to me, you should know where I go and I just—" he shook his head.

I crossed the room in long strides and held his face in my hands, hating how upset he was, wanting to take it all away. He was always so collected and this emotion was different. "I promise, it's fine, Kook," I said, hoping the name he liked would cheer him up.

The shadow of a small smile appeared on his lips. He leaned in and kissed me once, then hugged me. "Thank you," He said. "I like you, too, baby, more than you could ever comprehend."

"What happened to your hand?" Jungkook asked, bringing my hand away from his lips to examine.

It was past eight and he was driving me home, my left hand intertwined with his right hand, while his other hand controlled the steering wheel.

He'd been placing subconscious kisses on the back of my hand, his eye fixed on the road as soft music played from his stereo. I hadn't stopped watching him.

The skin around my left hand was tanner than usual from scalding. I'd lotioned it like crazy but it still peeled. I'd done a pretty good job keeping my hand out of view since the incident. But Jungkook had had it in his face for the last five minutes.

I couldn't tell him I'd held it under a faucet and let hot water run all over it so that the physical pain would subdue the one inside my head and my heart. He'd think I was crazy. He'd not want to have anything to do with a crazy person.

"It's probably an allergy," I lied.

"What are you allergic to?"

I shrugged. "Your absence."

He choked on his laugh. "Oh my Lord, Jin." He shook his head. "You're unbelievable. But does it hurt?" He asked.

"It doesn't," I answered.

"Should we go to see a pharmacist for some drugs or an ointment?"

"It's fine. I already applied something to it. It should be fine in a few days. No need to worry." Jungkook nodded and brought my hand to his chest as he drove on.