Fen had barely left his room all week. It had been three days since adoption day, and he hadn't been himself since. He only left the room to shower or when the kids needed him, but otherwise, he stayed holed up, keeping his distance from everyone else. CJ had taken it upon himself to stick to Fen like glue, the little ball of fur seeming to sense that his usual stoic companion was struggling. The kitten had claimed a permanent spot on Fen's chest, his small paws kneading rhythmically into Fen's shirt as if he could massage the tension out of him.

I stood in the doorway, watching Fen absentmindedly pet CJ, his gaze distant. His face was paler than usual, eyes red and tired like he hadn't slept in days. The sight of him like this tore at me. The kids were excited seeing as adoption day had been a huge success, but it was painful to come upstairs and see what a terrible condition my mate was in.

He tried to be happy at first. Lola and Abel were potentially getting adopted, Genevieve had met a family from a neighboring pack who adored her, and even Eddy—a teen Fen had told me about—had met a family of four who'd taken a strong liking to him. The day had gone as planned, but his faux enthusiasm didn't last for long.

"Hey," I said softly, stepping into the room. "You've been in here for days. Talk to me."

Fen didn't look up, his fingers still gently running over CJ's fur. "I'm fine," he mumbled, his voice flat and distant.

I sat on the edge of the bed, close but not too close, giving him space if he needed it. "You're not fine," I said gently. "You've barely left your room. You don't have to carry all of this alone."

Fen finally looked at me, his eyes filled with a mix of exhaustion, and sighed. "As fucked up as it sounds, I kind of hoped they would be bad people—David and Amelia, I mean. I hoped they'd do something to justify not letting them get to know Abel and Lola; to not let them potentially adopt them."

I felt a pang of understanding for his struggle. "It's not messed up. You're trying to protect them—and yourself."

"But they're not bad," he continued, his frustration mounting. "They're perfect. They actually care, and that makes this even harder. Did you know that immediately after adoption day ended, they were already planning the next time they could take the kids out? They were also asking when they could officially adopt them. Knowing that hurt, Cronan."

"Fen..."

"I know I'm being fucking selfish and I should be happy for them—happy that they have people who want to love them the way I do, but it...it feels like a punch to the gut." He sat up and moved so that his feet were hanging off the edge of the bed and CJ moved so he could nuzzle against Fen's side. "I knew this day would come when I agreed to help, but I didn't think it would hurt so much to say goodbye when the time came."

"It doesn't have to be goodbye. You clearly adore them and I'm sure Lola, Abel, and all the other children here would love it if you were still a part of their lives even after their adoptions. You're family to them."

Fen's eyes seemed to lighten at the word family, but his gaze shifted away just as quickly and anger bloomed in my chest. Not at him but at his parents and even a bit at myself, knowing we were the reason why he felt like he could never be loved or even consider the idea of having a family of his own. An actual family and not just people who felt they had to care for him to an extent because they shared blood.

I moved so that I was crouched in front of him and raised my hand to gently cup the sides of his face. "I know I haven't always been the best mate to you. I've pushed you away more times than you've deserved and I'm sorry for that, but I need you to look at me right now." He reluctantly did so. "You...you are an amazing person, Fen. Have you made mistakes in the past? Yes, but you've spent so much time trying to make up for it and continue to do so. Trust me when I say those kids down there love you. They won't forget about you, hate you, or whatever other negative thoughts are going on in your mind. They'll continue to remember the way you watched after them and love you the way I do."

The both of us froze and the words replayed in my mind while Fen stared at me with wide eyes as if he couldn't believe what I just said.

That I loved him.

I loved him...?

It sounded surreal to say those words out loud, but it was the truth. The warmth I felt when he was around and the way my heart fluttered were signs of it. The fact I'd come out here in the first place was too. I couldn't see myself doing that for many other people, but Fen? I'd do anything for Fen, as terrifying as it sounded.

"You love me?" He questioned incredulously.

I could feel my face heating up and my instinct was to turn away, from him but I fought it because I needed him to know I was telling the truth. I needed him to believe every word that came out of my mouth.

"I love how thoughtful you are. I love how you always try to make me happy. I love how amusing you are when you drink too much. I love the way you are around children and animals."

Fen's expression softened, his shock slowly giving way to something more vulnerable, more receptive.

"I love your determination," I continued, feeling bolder. "You never back down from a challenge, even when it's hard. I love how you push through your own pain to help others. I love the quiet strength you carry, even when you feel lost. I love how possessive you can get. I love how amazing you are at board games even if I think you're cheating half the time."

"Cronan—"

"I love you so much, Fen," I interrupted, standing up. "There's still a lot I have to learn, but every word that leaves my mouth is the honest to goddess truth and I need you to know that. I fucking love you, Fen, you. So damn much and if you'll let me, I want to continue doing so—"

Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me down, catching me off guard. Fen moved so I was partially on the bed and partially on top of him, but I didn't have the chance to consider our position because his lips were on mine in seconds.

The sparks I missed more than I thought I would returned and we stayed like that for a minute before he rolled so that he was hovering over me and staring into my eyes.

"Say that again," he demanded.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you, Fen."

He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine. I raised my hand to run my fingers through his dark hair as a smile spread across my face.

We weren't perfect by any means and we still had a lot we needed to get through with the kids and our bond in general but this was progress. I had him back and this time, I wouldn't let him go again.