*Make sure you read Chapter 34 first!*

The next few days pass thankfully without another big incident. The house was still a little awkward after the big scene, but we all seemed to reach an unspoken agreement to put it behind us on the day of the ceremony.

It wasn't until a few hours, but Reed had left early in the morning to prepare which meant my options were either to be alone with Eli who was running around the house like a madman to make sure he had everything, or to take a quick run before I needed to get ready.

Obviously, I chose the latter.

The fresh air and the rhythmic pounding of my paws against the forest floor helped clear my mind. Running always gave me a sense of freedom, a temporary escape from all the pressures and expectations. I let the forest engulf me, losing myself in the sights and sounds around me.

But as I ran, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. A nagging sensation tugged at the back of my mind, urging me to go deeper into the woods. Curiosity got the better of me, and I followed the invisible thread pulling me forward.

It wasn't long before I picked up a familiar scent—Judas. I slowed down, carefully weaving through the trees until I saw him. He was standing a little ways off, pacing back and forth, his phone pressed to his ear. Even from a distance, I could see the irritation etched across his features.

"Do you have a fucking death wish?" I hear Judas growl out. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life miserable and alone because that's what's going to happen if you don't grow a pair—"

His words seemingly were cut iffy by the person on the other side of the phone and Judas let out a dry laugh.

"You know, sometimes I really don't get you. You love to lecture everyone else but refuse to take charge of your own life. How does that make any sense?"

I shifted back to human form, grabbing clothing from one of the spare bags the pack had scattered around the woods in case of accidents. I tried to keep my movements quiet as I approached. Just as I got close enough to hear snippets of the other side of the conversation, he turned and spotted me.

"I'm gonna have to let you go," Judas grumbled and hung up the phone. He turned his full attention to me and asked, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not that long," I admitted but my gaze lingered on the phone still tightly gripping in his hand. "Is everything alright?"

I fully expected him to tell me that it was none of my business and I wouldn't be able to blame him because it wasn't, but he didn't. He gripped his dark hair and turned away from me.

"That was your brother," he admitted. "Your very stubborn, annoying little brother."

The moment the words left his mouth, he seemed to remember who he was talking to and almost seemed like he was going to backtrack, but I just shook my head.

"Trust me, you aren't saying anything I haven't thought or said to his face before," I assured. "Why were you two fighting? I thought you guys were close these days."

Judas bit his lip. "We are and usually we get along pretty well, but recently he's been making crazy decisions and I can't understand him sometimes."

I frowned. "What do you mean by crazy decisions?"

"That's actually what I was hoping to talk to you about," he admitted. "You know him better so maybe you can help me understand. It started with him mentioning he wanted to become beta and I supported it because it's not uncommon for betas, gammas, or even alphas to challenge one another if there are multiple in a pack like ours. I thought he was doing it partly because he wanted to and also because of your parents, but that seemed to only be the start."

"What do you mean?"

Judas let out a deep sigh, his frustration evident. "Reed's been all over the place lately. He's been training recklessly, ignoring advice, acting impulsively—you name it. He's behaving completely differently than he used to. I just found out today that he..."

"He what?" I pushed, frowning to myself as he listed the strange behaviors.

What was wrong with my brother?

"He rejected his mate a while back," Judas finished, a defeated expression on his face. "That's what we were arguing about."

"He what?"

It was rare for wolves to reject their other half and some even considered it frowned upon. The pack was somewhere in the middle. They understood the importance of mates, but they didn't push too heavily on trying to find bonds. Half the pack was made up of true mates, like Mom and Dad, while the other half was made up of people who either fell in love without a bond or found a partner who they thought could elevate their status or produce strong offspring, like Judas' parents.

"Did he say why? Was his mate some shitty person or something?"

Why didn't he tell me?

Judas shook his head. "He didn't say, but I don't think that's it."

"Why not?"

Judas frowned. "Because his mate was Dashiell."

Dashiell, the same wolf Reed challenged and fought to become beta, was his mate?

An unsettling feeling formed inside of me.

...

By the time Judas and I finished talking, I was completely up to date on Reed's strange behavior and completely worried as well. I had to return home to get ready for the ceremony, but the only thing I could think about as I pulled on my warm, rust-colored suit was him.

I wanted to pull him aside and interrogated him until I got down to the bottom of this mess, but I knew that it was neither the time nor the place for that behavior and it likely wouldn't work on Reed anyway. He'd probably double down and tell me I was overreacting which wasn't what I wanted.

Honestly, I didn't even know what I planned to say to him. I guess I just wanted to understand what was going on in his head to make him behave in such a manner. I knew Reed had never cared too much about finding his mate, but I was under the impression that he did eventually want one, so what changed in such a short amount of time?

Were Mom and Dad pushing him more than before?

The ceremony was already in full swing by the time I arrived. Reed stood at the front, looking composed and focused as he went over last-minute details with some of the pack members. Despite the chaos in his personal life, he had an uncanny ability to put on a brave face in public.

I spotted Eli, still buzzing around talking to everybody as if this wasn't his first time in the pack with a welcoming smile on his face. He looked up when he saw me, and for a brief moment, a look of relief crossed his face before he resumed his conversation.

The gathering was a mix of pack members, family, friends, and dignitaries from other packs, all here to witness the event. The atmosphere was a blend of excitement and formality and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, or that was the persona they portrayed at least.

Reed spotted me and he quickly made his way to me with a large smile on his face as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"With everything that happened aside, I'm really happy that you came, Cro. I mean it."

"You know I'll always be there for you," I said as and returned the hug, holding back the wave of questions that threatened to come forward. "How are you feeling?"

"Nervous," he admitted. "But excited. It just doesn't feel real yet."

"You got this," I assured him, just as the announcement that the ceremony would begin soon echoed through the room.

I watched as Reed disappeared and I made my way to the table in the front where Willa and Reuben sat with Mom and Dad, and where Eli soon joined us.

"So pretty," Willa admired as she glanced around the room with wide eyes. She spotted the chandelier hanging above the middle of the room and pulled on Reuben's sleeve. "Look, Reu!"

I watched the two of them talk between themselves and a memory of Reed and I attending ceremonies with Mom and Dad passed through my mind. I remembered how entranced we were by the sheer opulence of it all.

The ceremony began. Judas and Uncle Jordan spoke first before Reed came out and I watched as the nerves faded from his body and he grew more confident in himself.

The formalities went smoothly, with speeches and rituals that reinforced the bonds within the pack. Reed played his part perfectly, but it was right before the initiation speech that would truly confirm his role as beta when things took a turn for the worse.

The door opened and Dashiell entered with his head held high. His hair was neatly brushed back and he wore a dark green tailored suit. A confused murmur went around the room and I saw Dad's eyes narrow as Dashiell walked toward the front and took an available seat at the dignitaries' table.

Uncle Jordan studied Dashiell for a brief moment before returning hushed attention to Reed.

"State your name," Uncle Jordan ordered.

"Reed Fisher."

"Reed, do you pledge allegiance to the Emerald Ridge Pack?"

"I do."

"Do you swear not to harm the pack or any of its members?"

"I do—"

Reed was cut off by a loud scoff and I focused on Dashiell who was glaring daggers up at him.

"What's going on?" Eli whispered to me with a slight frown on his face.

"I'm not completely sure," I admitted.

"Please refrain from making noise," Uncle Jordan announced.

Dashiell smiled wildly which, in turn, revealed his canines.

"I'm sorry, I just find this whole 'ceremony' to be such bullshit," he growled out, eyes never leaving Reed's.

Reed stiffened. "Dashiell, this isn't the time."

Dashiell stood up. "No, this is exactly the time. How can you stand up there, take that vow, and lie with no reaction?"

"Not here, Dash," Reed repeated, his voice much colder but it seemed more like a plea than a warning.

Dashiell stood up and I saw Dad's muscles tense.

"Don't you think they deserve to know what type of beta they're getting?" Dashiell said as two warriors moved forward and attempted to pull him toward the door. "'Swear to not harm any pack members.' Bullshit! You haven't even been sworn in yet and you're already failing. What type of beta avoids his mate for two years, sleeps with him—only to reject him soon after, and then steals the one thing you know he's worked for since childhood? Who the fuck does that and still has the balls to say they won't harm any of the pack members? Who does that?!"

His rage could still be felt as the warriors successfully managed to pull him outside. Whispers started to spread and I saw Uncle Jordan gesture for Reed to go to the back which he did with no hesitation.

"I'll be back," I said to Eli as I stood up and hurried out the side door and down the hall toward where I knew Reed would be. I could sense Mom and Dad following close behind.

I pushed the door open and Reed was pacing around.

"Fuck," he muttered to himself and gripped at his hair. "Fuck!"

He dropped into a chair in the corner of the room and I searched my brain for something to say, but I was beat to the punch.

"I thought I told you to deal with that boy quickly and quietly," Dad growled once he stepped inside.

Reed exhaled sharply. "I thought I did."

"Clearly, not well enough." Mom pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is a mess now."

"Is that really the first thing you say? Do you think he asked for this to happen?" I glanced at my parents like they were crazy because, in my eyes, they were.

"You don't understand the pressure he's under," Dad retorted, his voice tight with anger. "This isn't just about Reed; it's about the whole pack. Our reputation is at stake."

I scoffed. "Screw the reputation right now! Reed, are you okay—"

"Stop!" Reed shouted, dropping his head into the palms of his hands. "Just stop. I'm tired of all the back and forth. I'm tired of it all."

"Reed..." my voice trailed off as I reached out to grab his shoulder or something to try and comfort him, but he slapped my hand away.

Surprise coated my face and he glanced up at me before turning his attention to Mom and Dad.

What the fuck just happened?

"I'm sorry. I thought I had it under control, but I was wrong. I'll take care of it the right way this time," he told them.

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. "Even after everything, you're still going to bend over backward to please them? After all that?"

"Cronan," Mom said sharply, "this isn't the time for—"

"No, Mom," I snapped, turning my anger toward her. "This is exactly the time. Reed needs to hear this. You're pushing him into a role he's not ready for, and it's tearing him apart."

Reed stood up, his face flushing with anger. "You don't get it, Cronan. You never have. I'm doing this for the pack, for our family. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices."

"Sacrifices?" I echoed, followed by a dry laugh. "You call everything that just happened a sacrifice? Rejecting your mate was just a sacrifice?"

"Maybe I don't want to be like you," he snapped. "I'm sorry I don't want to run away and stay in some sleepy town for the rest of my life. I'm sorry I'm not the same as you, Cronan, but I'm trying to do what's best for my pack. Our pack. When you come home maybe then you'll—"

"I'm not coming back to the pack, Reed," I announced. All the anger seemed to drain from my body and now I was just disappointed and unbelievably tired. "I'm never coming back here if I don't have to."

He glanced at me with wide eyes. "What? But—"

"Don't act like you didn't know that. I came here for you. Not because I cared about this place and wanted to come back, but because I cared about you. You just didn't want to accept that and maybe you never will."

I turned toward the door and he reached out and grabbed my wrist but I pulled it from his grasp.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," I told him. "Back to Oakwood. I can't do this anymore. I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself for them."

Reed's face fell, but he said nothing as I turned on my heel and stormed out of the room. I could hear voices calling after me, but I didn't stop. I needed to get out, to breathe.

I hurried home and grabbed all my stuff, throwing it in bags haphazardly before taking it all to my car. I made one last trip inside to make sure I had all my stuff and stopped one last time to look at the family photo sitting by the entrance. I glanced down at my small face with a big smile and sighed.

I was done. Just done.