"Yoonji. Are you awake?"

Yoonji immediately opens her eyes nodding. "Yes! I'm here!"

"I think your girlfriend is drunk." Taheyung giggles.

"I told you not to drink it so fast, doll." I murmur helping her up the chair.

"I'm not drunk if that's what you're implying." She mumbles laying her head on my chest. "I'm just really, really, tired." She yawns.

"Okay, well we're leaving the restaurant to go to Jungkook's house so you can sleep." I pull her off me gently and hold her hand so she doesn't fall.

"Okay." She mumbles with her eyes closed.

"Do you need to use the bathroom before we leave?"

She shakes her head no so I continue to walk out of the restaurant. "Drive safe you guys." Hoseok says as he steps in his car.

"Jimin, I'm really tired." Yoonji whispers.

"I know, doll. Here let me get you in the car, okay?" I grab my keys to unlock the car.

"I can get in myself." She says opening the passengers door.

"I can help you . . . okay or not." I reply surprised that she got in without falling. Before closing the door I make sure to buckle her.

"We're going to be at Jungkook's in about forty minutes are you positive you don't have to pee or anything?"

"Positive." She mumbles leaning on the window.

"Okay. Please don't get sick."

•••

"Jimin, I don't feel good." Yoonji says.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I think I'm going to be sick." She quietly says.

"Oh gosh, please don't puke! If you puke I will puke at you puking and then we will both puke everywhere!"

"I can't hold it." She mumbles covering her mouth.

"Hold on." I quickly pull over to the side of the road.

I've never unbuckled so fast and sprinted towards the passengers seat. She's already trying to unbuckle, but I take control and do it myself.

She grabs my arm and I pull her out of the car. "Wait I think I'm okay now." She says once we're standing over the edge of a ditch.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright well let's go back." We start walking back and she suddenly stops. "Wait no, no, I have to vomit."

I quickly pull her towards the grass side again. She leans over likes she's going to throw up but nothing comes out.

"Wait. I think I'm fine." She replies straightening back up.

"Yoonji, you can't be playing around like that."

"I really did feel like it but I'm okay now. Oh shit—" She leans over again and starts throwing up. I furrow my eyebrows a bit panicky.

I hate vomit with a passion, the smell, watching people do it, and just everything. But I push all of that aside to grab her hair preventing it from falling over her.

A minute after she gets back up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's okay, doll. Do you feel any better?"

"Much better. I'm sure I'm good now."

"Are you completely sure? We still have ten more minutes before we get there."

She nods her head and I sigh. "Okay. Let's go then." I lead her to the car holding her hand. Her balance isn't the best right now and she's half asleep.

After getting on the car I continue to drive. Only this time faster than before. I don't want Yoonji to get sick again. She needs to rest because her stomach is really upset right now.

"Doll, we're here come on." I whisper shaking her slowly.

"Mmm. I'm tired." She responds with a pout.

"Yes, I know. Come on let's go to the room."

She doesn't even wait for me to help her up. She does it herself and starts walking in a zig zag motion towards the house.

"Yoonji wait! You're going to fall!" I scream slamming the door shut and running after her.

"I'm fine, Jimin."

"You're walking with your eyes closed! You're clearly not fine."

"I just want to sleep."

"Wait there's a door there!" I open the door before she crashes onto it.

"Okay come on I'll carry you up the stairs."

"No way that's embarrassing."

"Yoonji, its not up for discussion you can barely take a step."

"I can walk I promise."

"No come on."

"Jimin!" She whines as I pick her up. "Put me down that's embarrassing!"

"How is it embarrassing huh?" I ask as I start going up. It is a bit difficult to go up the stairs with extra weight on me, but my muscles are pretty defined from track so I'm confident I can make it. Not to mention Yoonji is a tiny girl.

"I smell like puke!"

"I don't mind it."

"Liar! Everyone hates it."

"You make me hate it less."

I put Yoonji down as soon as we arrive to the room. Once the door is opened she runs towards the bed.

"Yoonji, you have to take that off. Put on your pajamas."

"I don't want to." She mumbles her head on the pillow.

"Hey you're— you won't be comfortable like that."

I grab her arm and she groans sitting up. "Have you ever even drunk before?" I ask confused.

"Yes. I drunk that beer the other day."

"That's the only time you've ever drunk? You didn't even drink it. You took one sip and I drunk the rest."

"It still counts."

"No it doesn't. No wonder you're so drunk just by drinking wine."

"I can't drink silly!" Yoonji giggles.

"Why?"

"Because I'm terrified to get wasted. Can you imagine if I got drunk and confessed my secret to everyone? They'd think I'm disgusting! That's why I was hesitate to drink with your friends. I'm sorry I got drunk, Jimin. I hope I didn't say anything stupid to embarrass you."

"You . . . you don't embarrass me don't say that."

"Well I embarrass myself so that's enough." She laughs throwing her head back.

A sudden sharp pain spreads through my chest. "Don't be embarrassed."

"How can I not? It's so humiliating to be me. You know I feel like a mutant all the time? I'm like a rare species that no one wants. Thank you for trying." She says with a sad smile.

"You're not a mutant or a rare species. You're one of a kind and you're so very special. Never forget that."

"It's just hard to accept myself. I'm so foolish. I want others to like me, but I can't like myself. How will that ever work?"

"Well I really like you."

She stays silent just staring at the wall. I keep looking at her intensely waiting for her to say something.

"I saw you looking at, Joy."

"Yoonji, I didn't look at her like that!"

"I know that, but did you notice how different we really are? Me compared to an actual woman? Joy has all the characteristics of a female and I'm nothing compared to her or to another girl. Why am I trying to fool myself so much, Jimin? I'm never going to be like her or like Yeri or Jennie or Rose or any of them. I really hate myself."

"Don't say that. How can you possibly hate yourself? You're so amazing in every aspect do you know that? You taught me what love actually feels like. You're so incredible and I'll never know how I got so damn lucky to get you in my life. Don't I make you happy? Why're you feeling this way?"

"Oh, Jimin of course you make me happy." She replies looking at me. Her eyes are filled with tears.

"Then what is it?"

She laughs as the tears fall from her eyes. Then she reaches over to caress my cheek softly. The  look in her eyes say she's hurt and feeling vulnerable. My heart is being compressed too hard and it feels like I can't breathe. I can't stand to see her so devastated and not being able to help her at all.

"It's just so bittersweet to know you like me, but not enough to fully accept me the way I am."