your eyes twinkled
your smile wide
your hands scarred
but nevertheless
you held me

I felt safe
you took care of me
even when you
weren't at your
best

I'll never forget you
you made me feel
so many things
you made me think
so many things

I laughed, joked, hugged
with you
I cared, loved, talked
with you
what happened to that?

I cried, blamed, hated
myself
I hated, blamed, cried for
you
what did I do?

It's been five years
I never forgot that house
the words, the actions
stayed in that house
why didn't I stop it?

the memories
good and bad
it haunted me
for so long
what could I have done?

to this day
I love you
to this day
I hope you
change

put that drink
away
put those bad people
away
look outside, go for a walk
maybe then we'll talk

those screens are
addicting, I know
that sugar is
addicting, I know
procrastinating is
our hobby, I know

music helps me
music helps you
maybe we can
write together
sing together
heal together

my heart is a puzzle
a maze full of traps
and rewards
people try to figure me out

put the pieces together
but
some are lost, broken
or they give up
and leave me alone

but you
treat me
like someone
who is

your only daughter
your child
but you never saw their birth
yet you took them in your arms

you saw them grow up
from baby to 8 years old
you loved them like
they were your world

you're like Edgar Allen Poe
and Albert Einstein
with a part of
Leonard Cohen

you say things and do things
in mysterious ways
and sometimes there is
beauty and a twist
like Edgar

you do and say confusing things
you aren't like most people
yet time will pass
and everyone will be amazed
by you
like Einstein

I'll leave this one up to
you because
Leonard Cohen and you
are like brothers
through words and music

I often think of you
and what you did
and what you do
it reminds me of
music

music has different genres
and different words
maybe no words at all
but they all connect to
you

different emotions for
different sound and
different lyrics
it all depends on
you

some make you
cry from laughing
or beauty
or sadness
but it all matters to
you

you are often cooped
up in your room
only fishing out for
food and water
maybe going away

but you still stay
in that small room
a blank space
with darkness

you try to escape by
your addictions
but you know
you will stay in that
cage

others try to help
you either lie
or push them away
but you think
it won't matter in a day

put this poem together
and we get a
pretty song bird
that wants to be free

you sing and call
but no one comes
so you turn to
something that numbs
the pain

flap your wings
and use your voice
but you know you'll
always be in that
room

I don't know you
or your intentions
but I know
you want
to be

freedom
is your
song
sing it for
you and the world

now song bird
you say you love singing
why do you always
sing when no one can
hear you

song bird
have you lost
your voice
or do you need
a song to sing

pretty song bird
may I tell you
something that
reminds me of
you

are you ready
song bird
I tried my best
for you

here we go
song bird
it's called
I Love You

2017/05/13