Trigger warning: this chapter contains graphic scenes from a nightmare involving death

"We're okay now, right?" I whisper to Jungkook with my head on his chest.

"Yeah," he adjusts his chin on my head slightly.

"Can you answer me something then?" I ask and immediately hear his heartbeat pick back up.

"Anything."

"Why didn't you tell me about our kiss when it happened? Or at the very least, why did you let me believe our second kiss was actually our first?"

"I didn't want to lose you before I had the chance to have you," he tells me, "If I said anything about that kiss, whether it was initiated by me or by you, we wouldn't be together right now. You'd still hate me if I said it back then."

"Why did you still let me believe it for so long?"

"Firstly, I'm an idiot," he sighs, "but I didn't want to ruin it. Our second kiss was special, you know? At least to me it was."

"It was for me, too."

"Why?" He asks and his heart beats even faster now, "I don't understand my own reason. Normally kisses don't affect me, but..." He trails off and doesn't finish his sentence.

Because that's the night I started truly falling in love with you. "I don't know either."

I hug him tighter, "I forgive you, though. Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah," he kisses my head, "I forgive you."

»»»4:00am»»»

I gasp and sit up in bed, a cold sweat accompanying my body from the horribly graphic nightmare I just had.

"Ellie?" Jungkook murmurs and I feel his hand softly touch my arm.

I flinch at his touch and stare around the dark room, not seeing anything yet because my eyes haven't adjusted.

"Are you okay?" He sits up tiredly.

"Uh," I blink a few times and take the blanket off, "Y-Yeah, I just need some water."

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up, feeling my body still freezing and shivering from my nerves.

I hear Jungkook moving on the bed and then he turns the lamp on, lighting the room up, but not too bright to hurt my eyes.

"Sweetheart," he gets up and follows me to the counter as I'm filling up a glass of water, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," I turn the tap off and bring the glass to my lips.

"You're shaking," his brows furrow and concern fills his expression. He gently places the backs of his fingers on my cheek and then my forehead, "do you feel sick?"

"No," I sip my water, "I just had a bad dream, it's okay."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He moves a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I-I don't know," I look down, "I don't remember most of it anyway."

"Alright," his voice softens and his thumb caresses my cheek before he drops his hand, "Do you need anything?"

"I don't think so," I drink more of my water, "thank you."

He nods and sleepily kisses my cheek before going back to bed, "I'll leave the light on for you."

I thank him and lean on the counter while I slowly finish off my glass of water. With one final gulp, I put it down and go to the bathroom.

My hands are still shaking, and when I see myself in the mirror, I look like I just saw a ghost. I do my business and wash my hands, and while I'm doing it, I try to recall what happened in the nightmare.

All I really remember is Jungkook dying... Wait... As I see deeper in my nightmare, I remember he not only died, but he was murdered right in front of me. Suffering and screaming for mercy but they just wouldn't stop beating him.

My vision fades to the red color of his blood and I feel tears stinging in my eyes as I recall more and more of the horrific sight.

He was hardly recognizable and I surely wouldn't have known it was him if it weren't for his desperate cries for help. The loud screams ring between my ears, the sounds of punch after kick after smack after stab and then finally... a gun shot to his stomach.

They hang him up by his throat and watch in amusement as he gasps for air, staring at me with a beaten face and dark blood covering his eyes, impairing what little sight he has left.

I remember trying to get to him. I screamed with tears in my eyes, fighting against the people holding me back, but it was no use.

But the final thing that forced me to wake up was when someone put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

"Ellie," Jungkook's worried voice is suddenly right beside me and I blink a few times as I come back to reality.

I don't even realize I'm crying until I look into the mirror and see my puffy cheeks and bleary eyes.

"What's wrong? Talk to me," His voice rings in my ears but I can't even look at him without picturing him dying right before my eyes.

He turns off the water in the sink and pulls me in for a tight hug, wrapping his arms around me securely and I just cry harder into his chest, bringing my own arms up to myself and letting him hold me.

He strokes my hair and shushes me quietly, "I'm here, it's okay."

I press my cheek to his chest and hear how sporadic his heartbeat is. Even though it just shows me how much anxiety is coursing through him, it's almost relieving to hear the evidence that he's alive. He's right in front of me, living, breathing, and holding me in his arms.

There's nothing to worry about, it was just a nightmare. There's nothing to worry about, it was just a nightmare. There's nothing to worry about, it was just a nightmare.

After a few minutes of standing there in his arms, I begin to calm down. I control my breathing and stop crying, relaxing against his body.

While my own nerves are subsiding, his are still forcing his heart to beat rapidly without forgiveness.

"What happened?" His voice comes out quietly.

"I don't know," I pull away from him only to hold his hand on the way back to bed.

"Well that didn't seem like nothing," he sits in front of me, cross legged on his bed, mirroring me.

I glance up at him again but all I can see is the red blood covering his face. I dart my gaze away again and feel the tears brimming my eyes before I let my face fall to my hands.

"Did I do something?" He puts his hands on my knees.

"N-No, you didn't do anything," I try my hardest not to let the tears drop but it's proving itself to be difficult. "Don't worry."

"How can I not worry?" the amount of concern in his tone makes me feel awful.

I force myself to look into his eyes and not cry. I need to prove to myself that he's okay.

I reach up with both hands and cup his face, running my thumbs over his cheeks gently while studying his beautiful features. "Talk to me, sweetheart," he mumbles and stares back at me.

"I can't lose you," I mumble back and let one hand venture into his hair, pushing the dark strands away from his face.

"I'm not going anywhere," his gaze softens along with his voice. "Is that what the nightmare was about?"

I nod silently and move his hair behind his ears- as much as I can, anyway, because his hair isn't very long.

"I promise you, nothing's going to happen." He takes my hands away from his face to hold them, "I'll stay with you, okay?"

I nod wordlessly again and he leans closer, putting his forehead against mine while closing his eyes. We stay like that for at least a full minute, comfortable silence coddles us and soothes our souls.

I can't stop my mind from spinning like carousel, going through all the things I can say right now until one phrase slips out of my lips, overriding the others more than I expected.

"I love you." I whisper and my heart immediately picks up speed, pounding in my ears like a drum.

His grip on my hands gets firmer and to my surprise, he doesn't move away. "I love you, too." He whispers back, and without a second thought, I connect our lips.

His are so warm and soft against my own, and when he pulls back, our eyes open to meet each other.

I didn't expect to be so relaxed after saying those three words, and I'm sure he didn't either. Wordlessly, he catches my lips again and lays me on my back, following me down slowly to get overtop of me.

We kiss slowly, but it's anything but lazy. Everything in my body is electrified at the feeling of him on me, lips interlocked with mine until I feel the subtle sweep of his tongue on my lower lip.

I part my lips and we tilt our heads to deepen the kiss as I wrap my arms around him to pull him closer. I flatten my palm against his spine while his hips sink down into mine, building pressure I didn't even know was there until just now when it jumped out.

His arm slips under my back and his lips break from my own, sweetly changing to the corner of my mouth, then my cheek, and finally down my jaw. He plants soft butterfly kisses down my neck and onto my collarbones until he reaches the collar of my shirt.

He slides his free hand up my shirt, causing tingles and waves of chills to surface throughout my whole body at the simple touch.

I run my hands up his back, under his shirt now to feel how warm he is. But he sits up and takes his shirt off before pulling me lightly to sit as well. He hooks his fingers under the hem of my shirt and gives me a sweet kiss before lifting it over my head, revealing my already braless chest and narrow waist.

He leans back down to kiss me but I adjust and put my hands on his shoulders, leading him to lay on his back. His loving eyes follow me when I slip my sweatpants and undies off in one motion, tossing them somewhere on the floor.

I turn back to him with a little smile and slide my hand up his thigh to cup his already hard member caged in his sweats. I lean down and plant a soft kiss on his lips, then make my way down his body, kissing down his sensitive neck and hard chest as I palm him slowly.

As I get closer to his center, I start to leave light hickeys, leading down to his happy trail and then finally ending up at the waistband of his sweats.

I hook my fingers under the band and gaze up into his eyes as I pull them down his legs, seeing his hard member fall heavy on his abdomen. My pupils dilate at the magnificent sight and I wrap my thin fingers around his girth, standing it up before licking a wet stripe up the side.

He lets out a shaky breath and stares down at me when I swirl my hot tongue around the tip. I part my lips and sink my head down on his length, taking him far into my mouth.

His jaw slacks and his eyes become half-lidded while a low moan vibrates out of his throat. I hum around him and bob my head a few times before running the flat of my tongue up from his base to his tip.

His dark eyes watch me, enticed by my actions as I put one leg over his hips and straddle his naked body with my own. He cups my jaw with his left hand and urges me closer, reeling me in to feel my lips locked with his again.

I feel his right hand venturing between my thighs before placing itself over my aching heat so desperate for his attention that it's pulsing. He sinks a single digit between my folds and feels how unbelievably wet I am already.

Another digit joins the first one and together they circle my sensitive bud a few times, making chills shoot down my spine as heat and tension grows.

It's not long before I feel those two long fingers slip into me. I whimper against his swollen lips and he continues very slowly pumping them in an out of me. But before I can encourage him to go faster, he pulls them away and brings them up to his mouth, licking my wetness off.

I bite my lip at the sight and he cups my nape to pull me in again, kissing me so deeply I can taste myself.

While our tongues twist together, I feel him positioning himself at my entrance, teasing his tip at my dripping center. I gradually sink my hips down on him and whimper into his mouth at the feeling.

The last time we had sex was just after New Years, and now as I'm getting fuller and fuller by the second as his inches disappear inside me, I come to realize how much I needed this.

And for someone who used to have sex with women almost everyday and has only gotten his dick sucked for the past few months, he seems ecstatic about this, too.

He moans into my mouth, feeling my warmth tighten around him the deeper he gets until he bottoms out. "Holy fuck," he breathes and rolls his head back against the mattress.

I put my hands on his bare chest and start moving my hips, bouncing slowly because I'm still adjusting. He watches his length slide out, and then disappear again as I lower myself onto him.

Pleasure fills our bodies while whimpers and moans fall from our lips. His veiny hands slide gently down my waist to grab my hips, but it's not a grasp as hard as usual, and that's when I figure out something's up.

"Kookie," I lean down and go a little faster, "what's wrong?"

Normally right now he'd be holding my waist in his strong hands, fingers pressing into my skin as the orgasm tensions build up in us. But right now he's holding himself back so much and I can tell.

"Nothing," he kisses my jaw and I feel his hips jerk slightly.

"Stop holding back, baby," I kiss his neck, "Just let go."

"I don't want to hurt you," he says but the end turns into a low moan as his eyes flutter closed.

"You're not gonna hurt me," I drag my lips down his jaw and press them against his ear, "fuck me."

His strong arms wrap around my waist and he holds me tightly against his body. His hips thrust upward, shoving his length into me quickly. I moan against his neck as his merciless hips fuck me into oblivion, trying to keep quiet because it's very early in the morning and people are asleep.

"Jungkook," I whine his name, holding his shoulders for dear life while my orgasm builds up rapidly.

"Fuck," he growls, teeth grazing my neck, "let it out."

"P-People are asleep," I muffle my desperate moans into his neck.

"I don't care," he pounds faster, hitting a wall deep inside me, making my eyes cross and my lips quiver for a moment, "I want this whole fucking campus to know who you belong to," his voice is deep and vehement.

From this point on, I can't control the loud moans and whimpers now filling the room and then some.

His head relaxes against the mattress and his veiny arms squeeze me tighter, pulling me so close there's no space left between our bodies.

The knot gets tighter and tighter with each powerful thrust upward, and I'm overwhelmed with how much pleasure I'm receiving- especially since I haven't had him inside me like this in months.

"Jungkook, I'm close~" I look down into his eyes and they get darker at my desperate need for release.

"Come," he breathes, watching me with dilated pupils and his jaw slacked to see my face when it inevitably happens, "Come on me."

At that very moment, an earth-shattering orgasm pounds its way through me. My legs shake from the stimulation, my walls clench tightly around him, the only thing my mouth can muster is a call of Jungkook's name, and my mind is too dizzy to process anything else as I screw my eyes shut and dig my nails into his shoulders, stuffing my face into his neck while tears brim my eyes from the intensity.

He moans into my ear and kisses my neck as my body trembles above him, getting close to his end, too. "Are you on the pill?" He rushes his words out.

I try to nod and say yes but I'm too busy seeing fireworks behind my eyelids, so all that comes out is a halfhearted "uh huh"

Luckily he understands it as a yes, because mere seconds later, he tenses with his length buried as deep as it can go, spilling hot cum into me with the sexiest moan I've ever heard.

His arms loosen from my waist and I bring my face back slightly to look at him while his hips slowly keep moving. He stares into my half-lidded eyes with his own cloudy ones and I whimper from the overstimulation but he connects our mouthes passionately, "I love you so much," he mumbles into the kiss.

I'm having a hard time forming words, but I manage an "I love you, too" against his swollen lips before letting my face fall into his neck again.

•••••••••••

WHOA THIS WAS A LONG CHAPTER, SORRY IF YOU HATE LONG CHAPTERS
<333

do you remember most of your dreams? Or do they vanish right after you wake up?

I normally remember my dreams, but it sucks sometimes because I tend to get really bad nightmares like the one Ellie had- which was entirely based off of the one I had last night :((

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕