Harry jumped the last three steps outside the main doors, his feet skidding on the snow. He recovered on sheer inertia, running even faster as he headed towards the lights shining from the windows of Hagrid cabin. He slowed down when he got close, catching himself on the door with a thud, his breath coming out in gasps that burned his throat.

Harry took a deep breath and paused, then looked down, something niggling at his mind... there was only a single set of Hagrid's massive footprints in the fresh snow leading to the door. He was sure he saw Malfoy's name on the map. The panic Harry had been successfully ignoring surged back into his throat as he pounded his fist on the door.

"Hagrid!" Harry called, "Are you there? Is-"

The door opened, and Hagrid looked at him in surprise, "Well, I'll be..."

"Is Malfoy here?" Harry asked.

Hagrid took a step back, gesturing for Harry to come in, calling behind him, "Yer were right! It's Harry-"

Harry stepped inside, "Malfoy-" The words died in his throat. Malfoy was sitting in the armchair by the fire; he looked utterly exhausted, his shirt was nearly torn off him, hanging on his shoulders and leaving his arms bare, a blanket pulled over his legs.

Harry dodged by Hagrid, nearly vaulting over Fang who startled and bolted behind the chair, "Are you alright? Are you- Should I-?" he held his hands out helplessly, almost, but not quite touching Malfoy, whose eyes went wide.

"I'm fine-"

"-I could get Hermione," Harry said, stumbling over his words, "Or I could- I could take you to Pomfrey-!"

"I'm fine," Malfoy said firmly, he grabbed one of Harry's wrists and squeezed it, "I'm just tired."

"But-" Harry said weakly, gesturing to all of Draco with his other hand.

Malfoy looked down at himself and what was left of his shirt, "Oh, I... I needed to stretch my wings."

Hagrid laughed, "Clever," closing the door and coming over, sitting down on the wooden chair on the other side of the fireplace.

Malfoy beamed, utterly delighted that Hagrid had laughed at his joke. Harry didn't see how it was funny.

"What?" Harry said wobbling on his feet, "But when did you leave the tower?"

Malfoy gave him a funny look, glancing away nervously as he let go of Harry's arm, "I meant it literally... I have wings. I flew."

"From the tower?" Harry said faintly, touching the shadow of warmth left on his skin where Malfoy's hand had been.

"It's not like I wanted to," Malfoy said.

"How can you not want to-! If you didn't want to jump off the tower, you could just- just not!" Harry said.

Malfoy frowned down at his hands, "I've been feeling more and more restless that last two days, which you would know if you had even talked to me, and it...overwhelmed me."

"Oh." Harry said. All the strength brought by panic and adrenaline drained out of him like an untied balloon as guilt took its place.

Because if Harry had talked with Malfoy instead of panicking about his feelings and avoiding him, he would have known something was happening. Because if he had stayed with Malfoy instead of yelling at him, and running off to panic about his feelings, Malfoy might not have jumped off the roof.

"I found 'im on me way back from the stables, after the flyin' wore him out," Hagrid said, "We had a talk abou' that. He's not to be flyin' around without someone watchin' after him."

Harry felt a weight lodge itself in his chest.

"If yer goin' to be looking after Malfoy here- Would yeh rather I called yeh Draco?"

"Draco's fine," Malfoy said, "Would you prefer Hagrid or Professor?"

Hagrid grinned, "Professor's always got a nice ring to it, but I get enough o' that in my classes. Hagrid's what my friends call me, and I'd say we've a good start there."

Harry looked from Hagrid to Malfoy, both of them smiling, Malfoy's smile was more careful and tentative but so hopeful it left Harry completely baffled. He followed Malfoy's gaze, but he was still looking at Hagrid, without even a hint of malice or mockery. Harry had to look between them again, but nothing had changed, and he had missed most of whatever Hagrid had been saying.

"-so's I expect yeh to take better care of Draco from now on," Hagrid said.

"Yeah," Harry nodded numbly, "...we should go."

Malfoy didn't move, he looked from Harry to Hagrid as if trying to decide something.

"It'll be curfew soon," Harry added, the weight in his chest growing heavier.

"I think... I'll be fine here," Malfoy said carefully, "If it's not too much trouble, I could sleep in the chair, and then you could bring me some clothes in the morning."

"No trouble, but that chair ain't the most comfortable thing ter be sleepin' in," Hagrid said.

"Sleep here." Harry repeated flatly.

Malfoy met his gaze, "Yes. I think I could."

"You trust Hagrid," Harry said.

"So do you," Malfoy said.

"But you trust Hagrid after everything-"

"He saved me. He's nice to me-" Malfoy said.

"I'm nice to you," Harry said.

Malfoy narrowed his eyes, "I spent my entire life listening to my father tell me to stop complaining, to grow up, to get over it, and shockingly enough that doesn't actually help. Maybe being kind doesn't help, maybe I have to do it myself either way, but at least kindness doesn't hurt."

Whatever words Harry might have said next dried up in his throat.

Hagrid frowned and offered, "I could have the headmistress put up a bed here, I haven't a lot of room, but I budge up if yeh need."

"That's very kind, but I don't want to get in your way," Malfoy said.

"Yeh'd be fine. This is a difficult time fer yeh, so whatever yeh need to work through it safely I'd be happy to help," Hagrid said.

Malfoy nodded, "Thank-"

"Wait wait- you'd move- but I don't want- You can't," Harry said frantically.

"I can," Malfoy said quietly.

"Please," Harry said.

Malfoy stared at him flatly.

"Can we talk first, can we just talk?" Harry said.

Malfoy pulled the blanket off his lap, "You'll have to carry me."

Harry stared at Malfoy's bare feet, "Why-"

"Pardon me for not remembering to wear shoes before jumping off a tower," Draco said sarcastically then sighed, "I can stay here tonight and-"

"I'll carry you," Harry said before Malfoy changed his mind.

Malfoy rolled his eyes with a soft, "idiot."

"Yer sure?" Hagrid asked, nodding to both of them, "I could take yeh up to the castle if yeh like."

"I'm sure," Harry said.

"I suppose so, for now at least," Draco said, grabbing the armrest and sliding himself off the chair.

"Malfoy hardly weighs anything anyway," Harry said.

"I'll be here if yeh change yer mind or want to test out your wings," Hagrid said.

"Here," Harry shrugged off his robe and held it out.

Malfoy pulled Harry's robe on and tied the front together, "Thank you, Hagrid. For... everything tonight."

"I were a real pleasure gettin' to know you proper," Hagrid said.

Malfoy nodded in agreement.

Hagrid hesitated and then wrapped Malfoy up in a hug that elicited a squeak of surprise or alarm or a mixture of both. Considering how tight Hagrid's hugs were, the noise might have just been squeezed out of him.

Harry caught Malfoy's arm as Hagrid let him go, steadying him.

Malfoy swayed a little as he caught his breath.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked.

Malfoy looked at Harry like he had lost his mind.

"What?"

"You haven't cast a lightening charm," Malfoy said.

Harry hesitated.

"I'm not that light-"

"Yeah, I guess..." Harry said.

"-and it's up a hill-"

"Yes. I'm-"

"-and it's snowing," Malfoy finished

"I'm going!" Harry said, taking his wand out of his back pocket and casting a lightening charm over Malfoy with probably more power than it really called for. Not that Malfoy seemed to mind,.

Malfoy rocked on his heels and then hopped up into the air, seeming to hang for a second on the top of his jump. He tried to hide his grin as he landed.

"Now are you ready?" Harry asked.

"Warming charm," Malfoy said.

Harry sighed, lifting his wand.

"I don't want cold feet," Malfoy said.

"I'm doing it," Harry said irritably as he wrapped a warming charm around the two of them, "Now can we go?"

He steadfastly ignored Hagrid watching them with an amused little smile and went to the door.

Malfoy followed a few steps behind but stayed just out of reach when Harry held out his hands expectantly.

"Piggyback," Malfoy said.

Harry dropped his hands.

"I want to go piggyback," Malfoy said.

"You're doing this on purpose," Harry said flatly.

Malfoy gave him a saccharine-sweet little smile.

Harry narrowed his eyes.

Malfoy turned back towards the fireplace, "There's a chair by the fire that looks very warm and comfortable..."

"Fine," Harry said, turning around and dropping down onto a knee, "but I've never done this before, so it's not my fault if I drop you."

Harry felt Malfoy's fingertips grazing across his back as he gathered Harry's hair and moving it in front of his shoulder. He tried not to shiver as he felt Malfoy's back press against his, his arms ringing loosely around his shoulders. He could feel Malfoy's heart beating, nervous fast.

"You have to grab my legs," Malfoy said, his breath tickling Harry's ear.

A shudder ran through Harry's entire body. Almost mechanically, he did as Malfoy said, and stood up so fast he nearly lost his balance, Malfoy's grip on his shoulders tightening.

"Careful there," Hagrid said, sounding worried.

"It's fine. I've got it. We're fine," Harry said hurriedly.

Hagrid was already coming over, and Harry was sure he was going to insist on taking Malfoy up to Hogwarts himself, but he just opened the door for them. Harry thought he heard him mutter under his breath, 'right stubborn.'

"Thanks," Harry said, stepping outside.

"Goodbye, Hagrid!" Malfoy said, shifting his grip, one arm around Harry's chest so he could wave with the other.

"Night, you two. Take care of yerselves," Hagrid called.

"Bye," Harry said with only the cursory look back before starting up the hill.

The snow was still falling in larger fluffy clumps that stuck to the bottoms of Harry's trainers.

Malfoy wrapped his other arm around Harry's chest, "I know you're angry with me, but you don't have to take it out on Hagrid. He's a friend of yours as well."

"I didn't-" Harry hesitated and sighed, "I need to apologise later."

"Perhaps."

Harry watched his feet as he walked, "And I'm not angry at you.... I'm mostly angry at myself."

"...You never struck me as someone who lashes out at other people," Malfoy said.

"I'm not," Harry said, "I mean, I wasn't...but after Cedric died and then...Sirius..." He hesitated, snow piling up on the end of his shoe which he absent-mindedly kicked off.

"I'm listening," Malfoy said softly.

Harry smiled faintly, remembering Malfoy earnestly saying that he was a good listener during his last fever.

"Hermione says it because of the war, that everyone's struggling," Harry said.

"Well, if Granger said it must be true," Malfoy said.

Harry shot a suspicious look over his shoulder.

"I'm not being mean," Malfoy said, "Granger's scarily intelligent. It's almost funny that I used to think I could beat her in score."

"You always did better at Potions," Harry said.

"That's because Professor Snape would tutor any Slytherin after classes before dinner. I was usually the only one to actually go," Malfoy said.

"Probably because Snape was a prick," Harry said, "Even if he was sort of a hero."

"I think the only reason he wasn't mean to me was because of my father," Malfoy said. He sighed and rested head on Harry's shoulder, "...Just like everyone else. Anyone who wasn't afraid of my father hated him, and hated me as well."

"If it makes you feel any better, I hated you because you were a pain in the ass all on your own," Harry said.

Malfoy laughed faintly, "Thank you, I worked very hard at it."

Harry let out a surprised laugh and nearly slipped. He had to stop walking for a second to collect himself. "Why work so hard at it?" he said a little breathlessly, "That's what I never got. It never seemed worth it to me."

"Because..." Malfoy said thoughtfully, his voice a soft murmur right by Harry's ear, "...because no matter how hard I practised, I could never fly as well as you did without trying. Just like no matter how hard I studied, I could never be smarter than Granger. And no matter how much I flattered or threatened, I would never have friends like Weasley... or family. Can you imagine having siblings? I used to think about it all the time."

"I don't know, from what I've seen they mostly try to annoy one another," Harry said, starting back up the hill.

"Do you remember the second trial during the tri-wizard cup-?"

"I was there, just a bit," Harry said sarcastically.

"But do you remember when you brought Weasley back and his brother Percy, that utter stick in the mud, ran over in such a panic? They're always there for one another in the end, no matter what," Malfoy said.

The castle was close enough that the lights were casting a yellow glow across the snow.

Harry nodded, "Yeah... They're great. Really great."

He could feel Malfoy tracing his hand over the front of his jumper, "Molly Weasley made this for you?"

"Made one for me every christmas since I met Ron," Harry said.

"I used to think- never mind the stupid things I used to think," Malfoy said, "Now I think if someone hand-made something for me like that, I would treasure it forever."

Harry shivered.

"In the end, I suppose it came down to when you rejected me over Weasley on the train..." Malfoy said, going back to Harry's earlier question, "It was the better choice. I thought, back then, that value came from things outside myself, my name, wealth, clothing, influence... and some do value those things, but I think the true value of a person is in what they do."

Harry went up the stone steps leading into the castle. "That's, um... interesting... I don't think I've ever really thought about it."

"I have thought about it far too much. I didn't know who I was after the war...I don't- I still don't. Especially now." Malfoy said.

Harry pulled open one of the doors wide to fit them both and stepped inside.

Malfoy let go of his shoulders, leaning back, and Harry took the hint to let him down.

"How can you not know who you are? You're... you."

"That's easy for you to say," Malfoy said, "You've always been certain of yourself."

"I guess. I had to be. I never really had money and influence and all that," Harry said.

Malfoy laughed, "Liar. You have all the same things I did. You just don't care about them. You only care about other people, Harry Potter, that's what makes you remarkable."

Harry blinked, his throat feeling unexpectedly tight. He didn't trust his words, so he shook his head.

"Also a bit stupid," Malfoy said, turning on his heel and started walking down the hallway, "You ought to learn to take a compliment, Potter."

Harry realised he was being left behind and ran to catch up, "Where are you going? The tower's over-"

"Kitchens," Malfoy said, his bare feet making almost no sound on the stone floors.

"The kitchens," Harry said flatly.

"Yes. I'm hungry. Ravenous. I might very well die if I don't eat soon," Malfoy said, putting his hand to his chest with a level of drama to match his words and drawling tone.

Harry laughed, "Yeah, alright, wouldn't want you to waste away."

-

-

Harry sat on one of the kitchen's small stools, a crowd of house elves around him, all watching Malfoy with a mixture of awe and horror as he ate enough food for three people with apparent relish.

"So are you always going to eat this much now?" Harry asked.

Malfoy glared at him affronted, his pudding slipping off his spoon and falling back into the dish, "I don't know? How am I supposed to know that?"

"Well, you are the one eating it," Harry said.

"I'm a growing boy," Malfoy muttered.

Harry laughed.

Malfoy glare took on an edge of pouting, "McGonagall said it not me. And it's true. I won't know what 'normal' is until I'm done..." he looked down at himself, "changing."

"It's just funny," Harry said, "you eat so much, but you're still scrawny as ever."

"Ha. Ha." Malfoy said flatly.

A wide-eyed house elf put another plate onto the table, sliding it in front of Malfoy as another elf took his empty bowl away.

"I think I'm.." Malfoy started.

It was a slice of chocolate cake with a rich fudgy chocolate frosting.

Malfoy picked up a fork almost helplessly, "...Or perhaps I'm not done."

"Looks good," Harry said.

"Another fork," Malfoy ordered.

"I-"

Malfoy slid the plate across the table.

The house elves looked from Harry to Malfoy like they were watching a particularity engrossing tennis match.

"-don't- It's fine-"

Malfoy took the fork from the elf that ran over and pushed it into Harry's hand.

"You- you can have it," Harry said uncertainly.

"I can't possibly finish it," Malfoy said impatiently.

"Then- don't eat it?"

"but look at it," Malfoy said, pointing at the cake, "I have to at least taste it, but to taste and then not finish it would be a crime akin against all enchantment. Therefore, I will taste it, and then you will finish it. And that is the solution to the problem."

The house elves turned to look at Harry.

"Solution to- It's really not that big of a deal," Harry said.

"Then eat the cake," Draco said.

Harry raised his fork and hesitated, "You said you were going to have a bite."

Malfoy took a bite of cake from the corner, closing his eyes and practically melting in on himself at he chewed.

Harry took a very small bit of cake, then a bigger bite, then the cake was gone, and the house elves had happily replaced it with another piece of cake which Harry ended up eating as well. "That was... really good cake."

Malfoy nodded with a pleased little smile.

-

-

It was nearing midnight when they left the kitchens. The portraits were still, their occupants sleeping comfortably in their frames. Every window they passed poured snow bright light into the castle, contrasting strangely with the darkness of the rest, the torches and candles dampened for the night.

Malfoy was strangely quiet as they walked side by side, a pensive expression on his face. Harry found himself glancing over more often than he was watching where they were going. Harry was certain Malfoy was feeling better, his skin wasn't as pale as it had been, but there had to be something on his mind.

Harry found himself wishing Malfoy had kept talking, it had been easy to slip into conversation, but the idea of breaking the silence around them felt insurmountable, and he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Malfoy took the lead up the tower, practically running up the last few steps to get to the fireplace. He awkwardly grabbed a log and dropping it in the middle of the coals with a puff of ash, watching it until fire began licking up the bark, scuffing his feet on the rug and rubbing his hands together.

Harry closed the hatch behind them, "If your feet were cold ,you should have said something. I would have cast another warming charm."

Malfoy looked at him and then sighed, "I was waiting."

"For what?" Harry asked.

Malfoy held out his hands to the fire, "You said you wanted to talk. I already talked, quite a bit. I wanted to- to try and... help you understand me better. I was waiting for you to say... something." his voice dropped to a whisper, "anything really."

Harry tried to swallow down the lump in his throat without much success, "You asked what I meant when I said, 'because I want to'."

Malfoy nodded, he had the strangest expression on his face; sad, apprehensive and hopeful all at once.

Harry took a deep breath, "Well, it's like... my whole life people have decided what I was going to do. The Dursleys- the people that raised me, they treated me more like a servant than a kid," he rephrased it in a way Malfoy might understand better, "more like a house elf really."

Malfoy frowned but waited for Harry to finish, which he was thankful for. If he stopped now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to say it again.

"And then I found out about the wizarding world, and it was wonderful," Harry said, the awe he felt at eleven creeping into his voice, "I felt like I'd finally found a home. But... even here there was a plan for me, a fucking prophecy, and if I wanted to protect this world that I loved, I had to play my part."

Harry took his glasses off for a second so he could rub his face on the sleeve of his jumper, "Now I- Now no one can orchestrate my life for me. I still want to make this world a better place; however I can, and help people. And I get to decide that, no one else. That's important to me."

Malfoy hesitated and asked, "If you join the aurors, won't they tell you what to do?"

Harry shrugged, "I worked with them this summer. I liked the work. And I was good at it. ... I can always quit and find something else."

"So... you helped me because you wanted to help? That's it? It's no different than you trying to stop bullying around the school?" Malfoy asked. Harry sensed he was prodding at the edge of Harry's explanation, looking for all the worst possible meanings.

"It's- It's not that simple. I mean, things usually aren't most of the time," Harry said.

Malfoy crossed his arms over his chest, "Tell me? It's- I really want to understand."

Harry pulled his hand through his hair, tugging it through the tangles, "Okay... At first I just wanted to help, so there's that. And it's a little bit that I wanted to make for sixth year, when I stalked you instead of trying to help."

"I wouldn't have let you," Malfoy said.

Harry shook his head, "but things might have turned out better if I at least tried. And-," he sighed, "and mostly it was selfish."

Malfoy blinked.

"Being around you, and that calming feeling you make, your weird not-allure, it felt so nice. I feel calmer and don't have nightmares and...don't... get angry-?" Harry's brow furrowed, and he looked at Malfoy in confusion, "It's gone?"

"It's not something I do unconsciously now," Malfoy said, "I've managed to use it once on purpose since then."

"Oh," Harry said.

Malfoy looked back at the fire, "So it was every reason in the end....."

"I...I haven't really said that out loud before, so I'd rather you didn't tell anyone," Harry said.

"I won't," Malfoy said, "I swear I won't."

Harry smiled hesitantly, "Alright."

Malfoy looked down at his hands, and Harry found himself holding his breath because he was pretty sure Malfoy only looked away when he was going to say something important, "...I'm not going to be your personal mind-healer."

"Of course, I would never-"

Malfoy nodded,frowning down at his hands, "There's no reason for you to stay."

"Are your fevers finished?" Harry asked.

Malfoy shook his head uncertainly, "I don't think so. The veela said the last one would be different and they've all been the same so far."

"Then I'm not going anywhere," Harry said.

Malfoy nodded, that same complicated expression from before was back on his face.

"Is there- did I say something wrong?" Harry asked.

Malfoy quickly shook his head and gave Harry a rueful smile, "I was just thinking that I have a terrible tendency to be too greedy."

Before Harry could ask what he meant, Malfoy slipped off Harry's robe and handed it back to him, "Here. Thank you for lending it to me."

"Half expected you to keep it," Harry said.

"What in the world would I want with your school robes?" Malfoy said. "Although they did seem a lot softer than mine."

"I've just been using the same robes from sixth year, they still fit anyway," Harry said, folding the robe up into a messy square.

"They're a little short," Malfoy said.

Harry shrugged, "It's just school robes. You probably get new ones every year."

Malfoy nodded, "I had to replace everything anyway."

"Everything?"

"The Manor is still under auror jurisdiction. I was lucky they didn't take the vault keys so I could at least buy what I needed," Malfoy said.

"They wouldn't even let you get your personal things? Your books and clothes?" Harry asked.

Malfoy shook his head.

Harry frowned furiously, "That's just fucking stupid."

"Petty was the word that came to my mind," Malfoy said with a tired shrug. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying not to shiver, "I think I'm going to go to bed now."

Harry looked at Malfoy torn shirt, the sleeves were utterly ruined, "Can your shirt be repaired?"

"No," Malfoy said, looking down at himself, "Any repair charm I could use would probably make more of a mess than fix anything. I'm just going to vanish it, I think."

Harry set his robe aside, impulsively pulling his jumper over his head and holding it out, "You'll be short a shirt, you can borrow this, until you can get your own clothes back."

Malfoy took the jumper very carefully, like it was something terribly precious, as his face took on a pink flush, "Thank you. I'll take good care of it."

"Uh, right. And good night?" Harry said.

Malfoy's flush deepened and he hurried up the stairs, managing to say a flustered 'night' over his shoulder.

(see attached comment for a link to an adorable picture of Draco demanding a piggyback ride drawn by snarkyships-drarryside on tumblr💜💜

As well as a link to veela art by crystallizedtwilight on tumblr that was a major inspiration for my veela draco)