•| affection |•

•••
kya karoon zamana dekh kar,
meri duniya toh uski ankhon mein basi hai
•••

Fidah stroked a very fattened up Nihari the cat's belly as her thoughts drifted off to her husband's arms wrapped around Naila's shoulders. Her mind was refusing to forgo the visuals and was tormenting her. The familiar walls of Zarrar's penthouse did very little to calm her nerves.

"Nihari, I should trust him no? Why is my resolve so weak?" She mumbled to the cat who only purred in return. Long gone was the scrawny meek stray that was even afraid of touch.

"She is right though, they make a very beautiful couple. I am nothing compared to her....urgh just the thought of that is making me cry."

Suddenly the jingling of keys twisting from the front door resonated through the house causing Fidah to reels back in alarm, pushing Nihari behind her.

Emerging from the door appeared a drenched Zarrar, his hair dripping water, glasses fogged. The white dress shirt clinging to his skin transparently displaying his bulging muscles.

"Zarrar!" Fidah squeaked, hurriedly getting up from the sofa and walking over to him. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Fidah." His response was curt as he removed his glasses and turned around to lock the door.

"I..I.." Words couldn't have left her at a worse time as she tried explaining to him why she had fled the  Hamidi Villa at nine and come all the way to the penthouse alone reasonably. The penthouse was nearly 3 hours away and she was scared shitless travelling alone in the cab but she didn't want to stay there.

"Please give me an answer that will not make me more angrier than I already am." Zarrar muttered, running a hand across his face, his clothes dripping water on the plush carpeted floor.

"C-can we talk once you change clothes? You are going to fall sick." She tried reasoning feebly.

"No." He replied his dark eyes dangerously trained on her. "Do you realise how careless of you that was?"

"I am not a small kid, Zarrar." In her panic, she muttered out rudely. "I have survived so many years before I met you and I can survive just fine now. You don't need to worry about me."

The sheer hypocrisy of her statement as she stood in his house echoed loud. Zarrar seemed to be taken aback but his anger didn't diminish at all. Closing his eyes tightly for a second, he took a deep sigh, in an attempt to calm himself. He already had to deal with Naila that was bad enough and the panic of getting a notification that someone had entered the penthouse only for it to be his wife was horrible.

Now the said wife was acting so unlike herself which was irking him in ways he hated. He didn't want to lash out on her so he wordlessly moved to his room to change his clothes. There was a thunderstorm brewing outside and the way he had driven the car here, covering the distance in less than an hour was very dangerous.

Before the trepidation of her undoing set in along with the guilt of snapping at Zarrar, Fidah saw him appear again now dressed in fresh set of clothes. His face was still dark, almost rough with anger, an emotion she had seen on his face for her never before.

"Sit down, Fidah." Goosebumps lined her arms at his voice as she complied wordlessly. Her eyes not leaving his.

"I am not going to ask you what in the world made you travel all alone knowing full well how dangerous it is at 12 in the night. I am not going to school you on the basic responsibility you had to at least inform me of your departure. But will you be a mature girl and tell me what made you so madly upset that you did all of those things?"  Zarrar questioned crossing his arms across his chest.

"I-I n-eeded space.."Her answer only seemed to annoy him more as he clenched his jaw.

"From me or from my family?"

"It's not like that.." She sighed, closing her eyes in pain. The conversation wasn't going how she had anticipated at all.

"What you did was so careless, Fidah. I lost my fucking mind thinking of your well-being. Meri saansein nahi aa rahi thi. Dil toh bus rukh hi gaya tha, bus isi tasalli mein ab tak chal raha hai ki tumhe sahi salamat dekh liya."  He sighed, slumping down on the sofa, his eyes closing in exhaustion. Fidah felt her head bowing down with guilt, she clearly hadn't realised how much it would affect him.

(I wasn't able to breathe, my heart nearly stopped. Just the fact that you are you are safe is the only reason its beating till now.)

"Don't say that.." She walked over to him, standing in front of him as her fingers touched his wet hair, pushing the strands away from his forehead.

His grey eyes snapped open, they were brimming with redness.

"You didn't even pick up your phone."

"I know, Zarrar. I am sorry." She sighed pushing his hair back with all of her fingers, her other hand lay against his bearded cheek.

"Say it like you mean it, Fidah Mahmoud and promise me you won't ever do something like that again." He straightened, his face tilting upwards towards her, voice firm in resolve.

"I shouldn't affect you so much, Zarrar. My absence, my well-being shouldn't bother you." She murmured, her fingers now gliding to the skin under his eyes. Her fingers warm against the cold-damp skin.

"Fuck it." He harshly whispered, pulling her down in his arms as she sat down abruptly in his lap, a yelp left her mouth at the sudden action. " You are hell-bent on testing my patience today, aren't you?"

Fidah didn't struggle, but rather snuggled against him. The soft detergent mixed with his mild deodorant soothed her senses, she drowned into his arms like molten gold, moulding perfectly into him. She needed this, she needed him close to her.

"What happened, jaanum? Tell me what is bothering you so I can make it go away." He murmured against her hair, kissing it softly. He had also surprisingly calmed down.

"Please don't make me say it. Not right now." She whispered back clutching his t-shit tightly.

He let out a deep breathy sigh, his chest rumbling as he rested his cheek against the top of her head.
"Okay, but you are going to tell me whatever it is tomorrow. I won't let you stress your pretty head out."

"Am I pretty?" Fidah smiled, thankful that he didn't probe any further. The fact that he could shift her mood so instantly despite being angry with her made her heart trump in joy. Even his anger held softness when it came to her. She didn't miss the indescribable spark that was ignited. Could she possibly tell him about her feelings?

"The prettiest sight I have ever witnessed." He didn't miss a beat.

"What's my prettiest feature?"

"You have a very pretty heart."

She giggled, slapping his chest slowly.

"You can't see my heart. Don't be so diplomatic."

"Hey, I can see how pretty your heart is through your eyes. I see the rest of my days, my nights, my life, all in those gorgeous hazel eyes of yours. I see us growing old, wrinkles and smiles. I see us raising our kids and having the most of it. I see myself kissing you on the forehead everyday and you giving me that bright smile in return to make up for the darkest of days. I see everything in your eyes."

"Well.." Fidah cleared the lump in her throat as her eyes glazed. How could she ever doubt this man? "Well, now that is just too poetic.."

"You are never going to satisfied, no?" Zarrar grinned, lifting her chin so that their eyes meet. "Tch Tch, here I can't stop praising your eyes and you are hell bent on drowning them in tears."

"You.. made..me..emotional.." She shook her head lightly as she leaned her forehead against his chin, refusing to look at him any longer.

"When I first saw you, I had this very weird thought and I think I manifested it somehow."

"Don't tell me you manifested me crying!" Fidah yelped, putting a little distance between them.

His sheepish expression only answered her doubts.

"Zarrar! You didn't! That's so weird."

"I know it is!" He laughed freely, throwing his head back against the sofa.

"Chii Yaar." Fidah nudged, slapping her fist against his cheek softly.

"Shohar ko Chii nahi bolte, Fidah Jaanum." Zarrar, grinned pulling her closer by the waist. Her legs tangled with his as their noses touched.
(You shouldn't say Eww to your husband.)

"Shohar Chii waali harkatein bhi nahi karte, Zarrar Jaanum." Fidah grinned back just as widely, her body completely in control of his hands.
(The husband shouldn't do Eww things)

"Accha? Hum aapko shohar waali harkatein karke batayen phir?" He dragged his nose down her cheeks to her neck as he buried it there. Her breathing became irregular and fast as she clutched his collar tightly. The hardness of his muscled body feeling delicious against her fingers.
(Should I do things that husbands are supposed to do then?)

"Zarrar.." A plea fell away from her lips and just then his lips met the sensitive skin around her neck. The region where the collar bone ended, he sucked and kissed, causing her to shift her hips against his.

"Fidah.. don't do that... Tell me to stop." He groaned against her skin tormented as his hand clutched her waist tightly, but she only leaned away giving more access to her neck.

"Why?" She gasped out shamelessly.

"Because.." He leaned back, his lips glistening. "I want to kiss you first. I want to savour every inch of you. I want to have you wholly without doubts or worries plaguing you. I am not going to fall weak to my desires despite how much I am struggling right now."

"Stop being stubborn and just kiss me, you idiot." Fidah gritted, her eyes lingering on his plump red lips.

"Sweetheart .. don't torment me so much.." He pleaded, his eyes darkening at her gestures.

"Fine! You won't kiss me right?"

"I want—" before he could finish his sentence, Fidah started peppering his beard covered jaw with kisses, nipping and biting as she moved further down his neck.

"I know your family is planning to marry you to Naila.." She whispered, kissing his adam's apple, sucking the smooth skin softly. Zarrar's retaliation was futile as he moaned out in response, throwing his head back. His hand wrapped tightly round her hips that were rocking steadily against his.

"I saw you today consoling her on the balcony, almost hugging her." She planted another kiss down his neck, pulling his t-shirt down with one hand.

"I hate how I can't yell out loud to everyone that you are my husband. I want to trust you so bad, but I am only human when she is so pretty and knows you more than I do. She looks so beautiful and perfect alongside you." Fidah angrily continued kissing his skin. Her insecurities and jealousy all pouring out into sweet torment.

"Fidah..Stop..." Zarrar groaned, hopelessly drowning in pleasure and the urge to confront her doubts. "Please look at me."

Suddenly she did, her hazel eyes filling with maddening tears of love or lust she didn't know. Their gazes clashing as they stared at each other breathing heavily.

She just couldn't take it anymore. Damn everything. Everyone. She wanted more, more of him, just looks and brushing of skin wasn't enough. The innocent flirting was done. She wanted to taste his lips against hers, pull him impossibly close.
Pull him in and never let go.

"Kiss me." She whispered, and finally he did, leaning close he immediately brushed his lips against hers. They were hot and soft. Initially slow and unsure for the both of them, they soon picked up the speed, kissing like every fibre of their being would die if they pulled apart. The electricity of love rushing through Fidah's body as she experienced something extraordinary that even movies couldn't show. Suddenly she felt, happier, carefree, stronger. She finally felt like she was home. After all these years of wandering and awaiting the need to belong, here she was. Zarrar Hamidi was her reward for all the years of sabr. His strong arms around her felt sturdy and firm. Like home and she never wanted to leave home again. Ever.

Finally pulling away from each other to breathe, Zarrar looked at her dazed, her eyes were still closed as she breathed heavily, her bosom rising and falling against his.

"I can't stay away from you. I didn't think I could from the day you started living here. Now that I have kissed you, I don't think I ever can. Fuck, I am going to kiss you again." He leaned down abruptly, tilting her chin with the curve of his palms spread across her cheeks as he kissed her again deeply.
"I am never going to stay away from you. I am going to be a clingy bastard."

Fidah giggled delightfully at his words and eagerness, her cheeks tingling red.
"Aren't you fun to kiss?"

"I hope I am, because I can be more possessive than you are. I am the last person you are going to be kissing till the end of times." He mumbled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

"I am going to speak to Dada Jaan tomorrow about our Nikkah, the last thing i want is for you to worry. About other things, I am married to you. I am your husband. That means I don't want anybody that's not you." Zarrar asserted, his eyes holding finality. "Do you understand that, Jaanum?"

Fidah blushed red in both adoration and embarrassment, but nodded her head nevertheless.

"Words, sweetheart."

"I understand, Zarrar...You are going to kiss me again, aren't you?"

"You bet, I am."

—-

hii baby girlss
short but intense chapter no?
Zarrar is not coming slow with the cheesy dialogues lol
I know I could've prolonged the Naila jealousy angle and her causing problems but i feel like that's too predictable and over-done! I for one am big on communication and men who want to figure things out are>>

Doesn't mean Naila's chapter is closed though. ;))

I hate doing this but this chapter is completely new, like it's not part of the previous version at all so it has no views, votes or comments, so I am setting a target for the next chapter to be updated.

1k reads, 200 votes and atleast a 100 comments.
It's not a lot you guys so please do try! :))

love you!
byee
~flawfully