A year later…

    It’s been so long since that day when I went to Kay’s flat, ready to humiliate myself just to get her to forgive me and give me a second chance. These couple of months have been great. I’ve loved every single moment, even when we fight. Of course we fight, she is feisty, she’s Kay. But she is also forgiving and she’s not as proud as I am. We sort things out and I love making up later; that’s always the best part. However, just being with Kay is amazing, it’s easy, natural. She gives me space and she appreciates her time alone, too, working on her projects, making art. When I’m not around it’s okay because Kay will always be like a bird. She will always fly high, spread her wings and enjoy her freedom, but she’ll also always come back to me. When I’m around she’ll be by my side and we’ll make something special out of every second, even if we only stay in my flat playing FIFA. She’s getting better at that.

I was always afraid that Kay’s free spirit would make things harder but I was so wrong, it only makes things easier considering how demanding my job is. She allows me to go away and do what I have to do without complaining. She understands all this better than I do and she trusts me. Maybe too much. One day, before we left for the rest of the world tour, she talked to me. I remember it clearly.

“I know girls throw themselves at you. I know you’re a man and you have your needs, so these are the rules: never twice with the same person, it has to mean nothing and the most important: always use protection.”

“What are you talking about?” I remember asking her, utterly confused.

“I’m talking about sex. I can’t be with you all the time and I rather put it like this already. I really understand how things are and you’re just a guy. You have limits. As long as it means nothing, it will also mean nothing to me. If you have feelings for another person, then just tell me, okay?” she explained then, shocking me.

“I won’t cheat on you!” I stated, slightly offended.

“It won’t be cheating if it means nothing. It would be part of your job.”

She was staring at me so serious, but I couldn’t believe it. “I won’t need to have sex with another woman, you’re my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, but just in case. I really understand,” she insisted. She stared into my soul and I really could see how she understood this, better than I could and she was okay. Then she kissed me softly. “You’re a super-hot international popstar. Millions of girls want to have sex with you and I get it, it’s okay. Just use protection and never twice or I’ll chop your balls off.”

So she really trusts me. I don’t think any girlfriend would allow this, but Kay has always been special, laid back and maybe too carefree. I don’t think I’ll ever do something like that and although at the beginning I didn’t get it, I do now. This just proves me how much Kay believes in us and trusts me, so much that she doesn’t think something like that could tear us apart. If she didn’t trust me like this, she wouldn’t even mention it.

Kay is definitely unique and I’m the happiest when I’m with her. It’s true we don’t spend much time together, but that’s okay. We make it count, every moment we get. Yes, it still scares me that one day a better guy will show up and try to take her away from me, but I’ll never give up on Kay. I’ll fight for her with all I have because she’s what I love the most in this world.

Today, to celebrate our first year anniversary, I’ve brought her to her favourite place: Paris. The last time we were here things were a bit complicated —and by a bit I mean a lot— and I know she wanted me to come with her, to see the city she loves so much; but I refused. But now we’re here again and things are perfect this time.

We’re in a park and she tells me a story of how it was in this very park when she realised how much she loves making films and that this was all what she wanted to do with her life. She makes me observe people, to pay attention to the things I wouldn’t normally do.

“Look at those two,” she tells me pointing at a young couple, they push each other as they walk, laughing really hard. “They are best friends and she is in love with him, but he’s with another girl and she doesn’t dare to tell him how she feels.”

“What? No, they are together!” I tell her because for me it’s obvious.

“No,” she insists and leans into me a bit closer, like telling me a secret. “Look at the way he touches her briefly and moves quickly, like he shouldn’t do that, yet he has enough trust to embrace her like that. And look at the way she laughs so naturally, not forced like when a girl is flirting. That’s how a best friend laughs at her friend’s joke.” I blink, impressed how she can pick up so many details. “They are best friends, but it won’t be like that for too long.”

“How can you see all that?” I ask her, beyond impressed.

Kay giggles and focuses on me. “I always wanted a best friend, so I’ve always paid attention to the way they act. It fascinates me.”

I blink again, just realising now that it’s true, Kay doesn’t have a best friend. She has many friends, but not that one best friend you always go to when things are falling apart. We all have someone, but not Kay. “You have never had one?” I ask, feeling terrible. I know how things haven’t been easy for her, yet she always fights hard. She is so strong.

“No,” she replies with a sad smile. “But I do have one now.” I widen my eyes in surprise. Why hasn’t she told me this before?

“Who?” I ask, trying to think whom that person could be. Alex? They are really close but not that close.

“You, idiot!” I’m left speechless because I wasn’t expecting that. “You’re not only my boyfriend, but my friend.”

“Really?” I ask, smiling like a fool and she nods. For some reason, this feels like a huge honour.

“And I have something for you. I’ve been keeping this for a long time, waiting for the best opportunity to give it to you,” Kay adds and I look at her intrigued.

She laughs and pulls apart to look for something in her bag. She takes out a notebook, a thick one, red with a vintage Polaroid camera on the cover. Very Kay. “What’s this?” I ask taking the notebook in my hands.

“Just go to the marked page,” she replies and I notice the bookmark at the middle of the notebook.

As instructed, I go to that page and I find her handwriting.

So… Louis. Now you can actually see that it wasn’t a game for me, I always took you seriously. I always wanted more than what I could accept. I suffered, yes, but it was worth it because now we’re where we are and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. You make me happy.

Now you can understand what happened, how it was for me.

Now I know that one of our biggest problems was that we always assumed what the other felt but we never talked. I’m happy to say we don’t make that mistake anymore.

I loved you practically since the beginning and I’ve only fallen more in love with you since then. I fell for you with your craziness, with your eccentric behaviour, with your caring personality, with your philosophical moments, and with your dumb moments, too. I’ve fallen in love with you completely.

You’ve been the only person for whom I’ve fought and I want you to know that I would never do this for anyone else. If you ever doubt of my feelings again, if you think that I may find someone better one day, then take Roger and read it. Read every page and remember that I love you more than I love anyone else and there’s no one more perfectly imperfect for me than you. Keep Roger with you and always remember that I love you with all I am.

Forever yours,
Kay

I blink confused and look at her for more information, and she is smiling brightly.

“This is Roger, my… journal. I started it when I met you, more or less, and it’s all about you. How you made me feel, how things were changing. You can understand everything now,” she says and my mouth opens. “I want you to have it because I trust you completely and I don’t have anything to hide from you. I know it’s not much, but this is my present: Happy Anniversary.”

I blink surprised, not quite believing it. “This is… this is huge, Kay. I— Thank you,” I tell her, and putting the notebook on my lap I grab her face and pull her for a kiss.

Now it makes sense what she wrote and I can’t wait to know exactly what she was thinking during all those days, when I was so awful to her. I really want to see how things were for her, I want to see how things were through her eyes.

We pull apart and she smiles at me sweetly. “I think I found my favourite book,” I tell her and she giggles.

“I may become a writer like Mila now,” she teases.

“But the world needs your films, you’re too great. And Janet would kill you if you’d stop making Prodigy’s videos,” I tell her and she nods seriously.

“You’re completely right, the world needs me.” I kiss her softly again, unable to fight the stupid grin on my lips.

“I need you, too, you know?” Now she is smiling like a fool. “Very much.”

She doesn’t say anything, she just kisses me one more time. “I love you, you know that?”

“Just like I love you, of course,” I reply with a huge silly grin, just to make her chuckle because I know she likes when I do that. “And now we have a reservation to keep celebrating.” I take the notebook again in one hand and jump to my feet and then, I stick out my hand for her to take. “Come with me, oh sweet Kay. I have a magical night for you.”

Giggling, she takes her bag and my hand. “I’ll hold you on to that. And just out of curiosity, would you accept the private strip tease this time?”

I bite my lower lip as I wiggle my eyebrows. “I was counting on that.”

“I knew you would give in eventually. I should’ve bet some money on that,” she says as we start walking down the park.

“What can I say? You’re irresistible,” I tell her wrapping my arm around her shoulders to bring her closer and I kiss the top of her head. I love our height difference. Well, I just love Kay Evans and I really don’t mind that she won this. I’m happy with my loss, if you ask me. I’m just happy with her, no matter what we do.

Kay reminds me of that song by my favourite band, The Fray…

She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted, she is everything I want that I never knew I needed.

She really is.

...le end...

-:-:-:-

And that's it. The ending. Finally. You were really impatient and pushed me a lot for this, I hope you liked it and think the wait was worth it. I'm happy you loved the story that much and I know it's hard to say goodbye, but we have to. It's part of life.

I dedicate the epilogue to every Kouis shipper. You're amazing.

Also, I invite you to read the epilogue of the series and you find it at the end of the bonus book: Unwonted. And I ask you to read my new stories, especially The Comeback.

Bel, xx

PS: At the sidebar there's a video of the winner of the 50K contest. She did the mash-up Louis sang in the last chater and these are the songs:

If You See Kay-The Script
True love-P!nk ft. Lily Allen
Please Don't Leave Me-P!nk
Band Aid-Pixie Lott
She Is Love-Parachute