Since we did One Way or Another for Comic Relief and it had such a massive success, we realised how much we could help if we actually took part of something. They realised that our help could actually make a big change, as we could influence so many people, and for as long as we could, we had to try. Since then, we’ve been very active members of many charities. Each of us is very involved with one kind of charity. Harry helps all animal associations, Zayn is doing his best with African kids, Niall helps all the charities in Ireland and I support kids with autism. Liam is helping as well, but he hasn’t found his charity yet. I’m sure he will.

Radio BBC1 has started a program for celebrities to visit low profile charities that normally don’t get much attention, then they broadcast everything and that way they make people know of all the wonderful things others are doing to help. I believe it is amazing and really necessary and now that we officially kicked off our tour, it is a good opportunity to visit a new charity. All the media is paying attention to our first shows to see how everything is going, the fans are even more expectant of our movements, so there’s no better opportunity than now.

Today, after two sold out shows in London the past three days and before we head to other cities of the country, we’re visiting the charity You Matter. It’s a charity that helps kids with troubled infancies and awful families. Grimmy told us about it and we accepted immediately. No kid should live a miserable life and if there’s a way to make things brighter for them, we need to help.

The only bad thing about today is that Kay is coming with us as she wants so shoot some scenes for the documentary. And as Kay is coming, so is Alex who still refuses to sign the papers and that insists in calling me husband. Now I understand how annoying I was two years ago. The worst part is that Niall always supports her, always wanting to have her around. I wonder if he will get tired to have her nearby all the time. I know I would, I need my space. And that’s why all women need to be away, I don’t want them to invade my personal bubble like Kay loves to do.

After I pushed her the other day I thought she was going to leave me alone, but she hasn’t. As if, there’s only more determination in her chocolate eyes when she looks at me, like she is plotting something terrible. I’m sure she is. I try to ignore her all the time, but she doesn’t make it easy.

First, she makes sure to stop by Starbucks to grab a frapuccino and a carrot muffin. She makes sure to always sit next to me and I know she only wants me to look at her so she can tell me something, but I always keep my eyes locked on something else. Mostly on my phone, playing FIFA.

But when we arrive to the charity we find a surprise that we never expected. There we not only meet Grimmy and the camera man he brought with him, but also a woman in her mid-thirties with a professional and serious look, and four other girls about our age. One is blonde and really, really fit. She wears these jeans shorts that show her amazing and long legs. The other one has a messy look, her brunette hair falling rebelliously around her features, and she looks tired, sleepy. The other one is a black-haired girl with a very luscious body and the other one is really skinny, with brown-reddish hair in all directions, a perfect mess. They are all playing with kids, smiling and asking questions.

For some reason, they look familiar but I don’t recognise them, though it seems like Alex, Kay and Liam do, so I look at them confused. The girls with the boys look at us confused as well and only then Grimmy notices we arrived and approaches us with his signature smile.

“Lads! And ladies,” he bows his head to Alex and Kay who keep staring at the four girls. “I’m glad you could make it. Oh, let me introduce you to the girls.” Grimmy turns around and waves at the four girls to approach. “Lads, these are Leanne,” —the blonde one— “Emma,” —the one with the luscious body—, “Skyler,” —the sleepy one— “and Tammy. They are in the band Prodigy.”

And then it hits me why Alex and Kay reacted like that and why Liam can’t take her eyes off of Tammy, the one with the reddish hair who is also staring at him shocked.

“Girls, these are One Direction. Louis, Harry, Zayn, Niall… and you already know Liam,” Grimmy introduces us, grinning mischievously at Liam.

I know why they looked familiar and it’s because Alex showed us a video of them and their music, but I must admit that in person they look more… normal. On stage they are so different, but in person they smile and look completely normal, though Tammy does look a bit eccentric. I wonder why Grimmy set her and Liam together.

Then I realise. He was just playing a prank on Liam. That makes sense.

“Glad to see you, Noob. Did you miss me?” Tammy asks with an arched eyebrow, staring at Liam. Her whole body language changing into a very defiant posture.

This girl smells like trouble, she can’t be up for any good. The way she looks at Liam only tells me that she plans to do something awful. Out of all the girls in this room —including all the girls that are part of the charity—, Tammy gives me the worst vibe.

I feel this urge to put myself between them two and protect my band mate from this poisonous woman, but apparently Liam can manage her alone.

“You didn’t cross my mind once,” he lies. He’s been really mad at her, fumbling how annoying and rude she was in the date. “I delete sour memories from my mind and forget rude people. They are not worth it.” Many people gasp at Liam’s words, I’m very impressed myself but Tammy doesn’t react, she only seems amused by his words and smiles widely.

“Good, ‘cos I would hate to have you following me like a lost puppy.”

And I thought I had it bad with Kay. At least Tammy is not obsessed with ruining his life by following him everywhere… Hmmm… now I’m not sure who has it worst.

Grimmy bursts out laughing and not only Liam but also Tammy look at him murderously. I see both are very unhappy about what the host of BBC1 did. The other girls in the band seem very amused themselves, even the sleepy one. They look at Tammy with grins on their faces, as if they are enjoying the show.

“Uhm,” Alex speaks for the first time since we arrived there. “I’m a big fan of your music. Guys, you’re absolutely amazing, mind blowing! Your song Dead Alive is beyond words!” It’s interesting, seeing Alex in the fan-girl mode.

“Absolutely amazing!” Kay supports with the same enthusiasm as Alex and the four girls forget about us, happy with the praises they are receiving. “Big fans indeed.”

“Well, before Alex and Kay keep feeding your ego, feel free to go around and meet the kids here. We’re gonna go around shooting some scenes, asking for your opinions and things like that. Ask them what it’s like, get to know them. You know how it works. And again, thank you for coming, boys,” Grimmy interrupts before any of the Prodigy band members can say something in response to Alex and Kay’s words.

We all nod and we finally take different ways. I notice Liam goes as far away from Tammy as he can while she seems very entertained talking to Kay and Alex. That’s good, that way she won’t bother me and I can concentrate on the kids.

I avoid all girls in the charity, even the little ones. No matter the age, I don’t want to be near someone from the female population. The only women I can approach are Mum, my sisters and Lux. All the rest are the same, even if they haven’t hit puberty yet. One day they will become women and they will be monsters, so better avoid them now.

So I meet some boys between nine and fifteen and when they tell me their stories, I know that the unfairness in the world seems endless. I can’t understand how people can treat their own children like that. Jason, a boy of fifteen says that his father forced him to pick-pocket and skip school and when the counsellor at his school found out about him and tried to help him, his father hit the hell out of him and that’s how he ended up here. And when he tells me this story, his voice is so full of rage and sadness that it breaks my heart.

I spend the whole afternoon playing with them, telling them that life gets better if you work hard. I ask them for their dreams and it’s sad how just a few can answer. Most of them lost their dreams when their families took away their innocence and infancy.

I have to leave for a moment, just to pull myself together when a five-year-old kid tells me that his parents never loved him, that they always told him how unhappy he made them and they would be so much better without him, so he wanted to help and left. Someone found him nearly dead on the streets, his parents have never reported him lost nor have tried to look for him.

I can’t take it for too long, so many horrible stories, so many painful pasts that I need some fresh air, but when I walk outside the house and into the garden, I don’t expect to find Kay there, hugging herself as her body shakes slightly.

For a moment I can only stare at her, at her fragile frame against the sunset of that day. She hasn’t noticed I’m there too and I can hear her soft sobs. She is crying, like a normal human with feelings would do. She is showing a side I didn’t think she had. She always seems so indifferent to everything, but here she is, crying, hiding from the rest so they can’t see her like this.

This makes me wonder what’s in her past. Was she like this all the time? Why is she crying now but not when I insult her nonstop? But as curiosity rises in my chest, I push it aside. I don’t care about her. For all what matters, she can cry her eyes out; that won’t affect me.

I’m about to turn on my heels and go back inside, but she hears me somehow. I know I’ve startled her because she gasps when she turns around and when our eyes meet, I see panic in hers as she rushes to brush all the tears away.

“What are you doing here?” She asks and for the first time her voice doesn’t sound light and playful as she usually sounds.

“I have the same right to be here that you have,” I snap thought she hasn’t really attacked me.

I wait for her sassy remark, something that will make me bite my tongue but she looks away and sighs. “Whatever.” And then she remains in silence and this is the most surreal thing ever. I’m already used to her invasive behaviour, I’m kind of prepared for that kind of behaviour, but when she is like this… I don’t really know what to do. She looks so… human, so delicate and in need of help. “I can’t believe all what these kids have to go through. It’s not fair, it’s horrible.”

“I know,” I mumble even though I hate to agree on something with her, but I can’t argue about this.

She laughs humourlessly. “It’s so easy to ignore other people, people that are just an ephemeral part of your life. Their opinions don’t matter and they don’t have power over you… but when it’s your family… How can you just ignore them? Blood runs thicker than water, you just can’t shut your family out.” Again, she breaks and she turns giving her back on me and I can hear the sobs getting stronger. “Families are not supposed to be like this.”

“Not all of them are,” I say though I don’t know why I’m saying this. It’s almost as if I’m comforting her but I hate her, I should enjoy seeing her like this. She deserves this pain, but this is pain for others’ misery and I can’t be happy about that.

“True. I guess I need to call my mum again and tell her thanks for loving me the way she does.” Then she turns around and smiles at me. It’s not the same smile she always gives me, this is somehow shy and hesitant and it doesn’t annoy me the way she normally does. “See you inside,” she adds pulling herself together before walking past me and getting inside the house, leaving me there quite unsure of how I feel in that moment.