Germany is great. I love this place. Berlin is pretty incredible and with so many things to do. I find myself having a great time, going out with Harry and Zayn, having guys’ time. Niall is a wimp so he stays with Alex. Only once we’ve gone out with him and we miss Liam, but he is still busy. Of course we’ve called him to know how things are going, and we do not get good news. The only good thing is that Ray is doing better and soon he’ll be cleared up, but the bad part is that he will be taken away and put in some orphanage in another city, which means not only Liam, but also Tammy and everyone else at the charity won’t see Ray again. Us included. We feel bad that we won’t see him again because we can’t go back by the time he has to leave, so we send some videos to Liam. He tells us that Ray is not taking this nicely and that he is shutting himself out, and that worries him a lot.

All this time, Liam has been with Tammy and no one has died. He hasn’t talked much about her, and all what we’ve seen is a few pictures some paparazzi took of them one day and none of them looked like in a date, so the media doesn’t know what to believe. They have managed to keep all this out of their radar.

Talking about paparazzi, they have been making up some rumours about Kay and I. Of course, after what happened at the airport, they’ve been wondering whether I’m having an affair or something with one of our employees, and for that reason, I avoid Kay all the time. She is busy, so I don’t have much problem. She is working really hard on the documentary, going around with Peter all the time trying to get new shots.

“She’ll be working with each of us separately to shoot our parts in the documentary. That’s why she is spending more time with Niall now,” Harry tells me when he catches me staring at Kay who is laughing at something Niall said. “That’s what she told me, at least.”

“I didn’t ask for that,” I tell him taking my eyes off of Kay and looking at the curly-haired boy now, trying to look uninterested, but he smiles cockily, as if he knows better.

“You’ve been avoiding her, since that party where you two snogged,” he reminds me and I groan. I didn’t want to remember that, I have enough with my own dreams every night when I relive what happened between us.

“I told you before, I was drunk; I didn’t know what I was doing. Can’t you let it go?” Harry laughs at my annoyance and I furrow my eyebrows at him.

“Whatever you say, Tommo,” replies Harry dismissing me with a wave and going back to stage to keep rehearsing for our last show in Germany before we head to France. “By the way, Moni says you two look great together and you may become her new OTP, so be careful.”

My eyes shoot wide open as I hear those words. I remember those times when Moni messed with Zayn and Mila all the time, saying they were her OTP and almost killed Harry for interrupting them once. But why would she say that? “What?”

Laughing, Harry answers, “She saw that picture of you and Kay at the airport and texted me, telling me how cute you two look together. Look, here it is.” He throws his phone at me and I barely catch it. When I look at the screen, I see his conversation with Moni.

Don’t they look adorable? Asgafhsgfah —Moni

Aw, why is Louis being such an arse? He seriously needs to stop all this horseshit and date Kay now. I ship them! —Moni

Tell that idiot to stop being a moron and stop using his arse as a hat. It doesn’t suit him! Tell him, Harry! —Moni

And like those, his phone is filled with many texts of a similar sort. I blink quickly, trying to understand and dreading the moment we go back home and I see that brunette. I can imagine all the teasing and I bet Kay will love that… Holy shit, this is not good.

“She better find a new OTP, this one will never be canon,” I say throwing his phone back at him and he laughs. “I’m serious here, Harry. Kay and I will never happen.”

“Kay and Louis will totally happen,” I hear a feminine voice. Scared, I turn around to find Alex staring at us. “I agree with Moni, you two look cute. I don’t mind sharing my husband with Kay.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you know. You should fight for me, be possessive and all that shit,” I reply and she smiles, like every time I follow the game. “You’re a lousy wife. Anyways, that won’t happen. I have enough with you. Now let’s go back to rehearsals. We have a show tonight. Chop, chop!”

Shaking his head, Harry laughs and drops the subject, same with Alex who goes back where all her equipment is waiting for her. Since we hired her, we sound even better. Everything works perfectly and we never have issues with the volumes of our microphones or anything like that.  Hiring Alex was definitely the right thing to do and it’s funny to see how everyone respects her just because how amazing she is with technology. And Niall is so proud of her, always with his head held high when they walk hand in hand, showing off his girlfriend. You would think Alex feels like a lucky girl for dating a worldwide popstar, but nooooo, it’s the other way around and that is kind of funny.

+ + + + +

When we’re on France, Liam calls us to tell us he soon will be coming to meet us and that Ray will be cleared up today, which means it’s the goodbye. He sounded really depressed and we tried to cheer him up, but I know it didn’t work. It really sucks that he is there in London and we are here in Paris, so far away, still working and not with him, who clearly needs us.

Oh, and talking about Liam being away, the fans have been quite nice about this. We’ve only said Liam has personal problems at home and he can’t join us, but soon he will be back. We say we miss him too and that we’re sorry, but this is important. They say aw, but do not complain any further. In fact, they show their concern with Trending Topics and other things on the Internet.

It’s weird not to have Liam around, like we’re not whole. There’s something missing and we all know it’s Liam, but he will be back in two days and, hopefully, we’ll be able to help him to feel better. We’ve missed him a lot.

We have a few interviews today to promote, as usual when we get to a new country and city, so we go to a radio station and then to a TV studio for a short, recorded interview. Kay is still working with Niall in his part of the documentary, but she has asked this day off, which is weird.

“Aw, don’t miss me, babe,” she tells me when we’re heading to the parking lot, where the van is waiting for us to take us to the TV studio. “It’s just that I’ve missed Paris so much. I had a great time here and I wanted to go visit some old friends.”

“I don’t care,” I reply with a grimace, trying to show her how much I do not care about what she does with her spare time, though I do care and I hate that I do.

Is she going to visit some old boyfriend or something? Maybe she’ll go to see him —or her, I don’t care about that— and they will remember old times, snogging and all that shit. And she won’t even think of me and all things she’s said to me. She won’t even remember she promised me she would make me fall in love with her, she won’t remember how she told me how much she liked me. She’ll go with that person and forget everything that had happened between us.

I hate that person.

I hate myself for hating that person and being thinking of all this. I hate that it makes my blood boil thinking that Kay will be with another person. I hate it, hate it, hate it!

“Don’t worry, I won’t meet with anyone. I just wanna go sightseeing again,” she tells me and I look suspiciously at her. Can she read my mind? How could she know I was thinking of that? “I’d love to take you with me and show you all the places I love, but you’re busy today.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere with you,” I answer folding my arms and she giggles, placing her hand over my skin, right on top of my bird tattoo. I tell myself I don’t feel anything when she touches me.

“C’mon, don’t be like that. You know you’d love to escape with me for a day. Only the two of us.” She takes a step closer and her look changes. It’s not a happy smile anymore, this is a seductive one and it makes my nerve endings stay alert. “We would have so much fun,” adds Kay and I shiver, and this time I can’t hide it and she notices it, because her smile grows wider. “Anyways, go and do your job! I’ll see you around.”

And she steps back, breaking the contact between us and I still can feel her hand on my skin, but I tell myself I don’t miss her touch. Kay winks at me before turning on her heels and walking away from me right when Niall, Harry and Zayn arrive and wave her good bye.

“She is not going?” Zayn asks as we keep walking and I hate that the question is addressed to me.

“She’ll go sightseeing,” I answer grumpily. “That’s all I know.”

“Aw, bummer. We’re having fun with the documentary. And Alex is not going either,” Niall pouts and Harry hugs him to give him some support.

“Now you understand how Zayn and I feel. You’re lucky you have Alex around,” the curly-haired boy says and I roll my eyes.

“You’re a pack of wimps. Seriously, stop moaning because your girlfriends are not around,” I tell them and Zayn punches me, rather hardly, on the arm. “Oi!”

“You’re just jealous ‘cos you’re single,” he sticks his tongue out at me and now I punch him back on the arm. “Oi!”

“You started,” is my reply. Niall and Harry crack up laughing as we keep walking to the van where Paul and Max are waiting for us, they two and Janet are the only ones coming with us to the interviews today.

The interviews go nicely. They ask us, of course, about Liam and whether they should worry and we answer always the same: “He is fine, he just needs to be in London right now. That’s all. He’ll be back soon.”

When we leave the TV studio, hundreds of fans are crowding the street and I groan, already loathing the mob of crying girls screaming our names. When I’m on stage, it doesn’t bother me that our crowds are mostly girls, I forget about that when I perform. But when we leave a building and they are there, calling for us… it just annoys me.

Some of them still ask me about Eleanor: “When are you two gonna go back together? You looked so perfect! I can’t get over Eleounor is no longer a thing!”

Some of them still scream for Larry, even more now that Harry and I are hanging out a lot together, like we haven’t done in a long time mostly because of the same shippers: “GO PUBLIC ALREADY! We all know Larry is real!”

Some of them just plain insult me: “Why are you so mean to us! Stop being an asshole!”

And the worse types are those who still think I like carrots. Still! That was when the dinosaurs where still alive and I never said I liked carrots, I said I liked girls who ate carrots, just to say something random! People do not know limits. “Louis, I’ll be your carrot! Love me!”

Seriously? That doesn’t even make sense.

That’s why I avoid the fans. I’ve accepted Alex and I try not to be mean to the close women in our social circle, like Mila, Hannah, Moni, Belle, Phebs and Savannah, but I can’t be nice to all girls. Especially to those who try to look like Eleanor. That’s why whilst they guys stay behind signing autographs, I keep walking, ignoring them all until I’m in the van. And when they start knocking at my window, I just grab my earplugs and start listening to music. I just can’t deal with them right now and I don’t care if later they say I’m an arse for doing this. I can’t tolerate so many girls together.