Hey guys! I know, I know, boring chapter! Next chapter is really bad...as in violence and pain bad, not (hopefully) as in bad story line, bad chapter, bad grammer and vocab bad. Lol. Anyway, this is just a filler, kind of. You guys will probably meet the other pack in Chapter Eight. If I get a few more ideas, then it'll be on Chapter Nine. Either of those.

So, I hope you guys like it! Bitter Kisses was on the What's Hot list, but it got removed...It's okay, though! It's still a pretty good number in Romance and Werewolf...:P Good enough for me at least.

But anyway, vote, comment and fan! I really appreciate it and you are all awesome!

-Tavita

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Chapter Six              

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The anger and despair I felt had fueled my energy to run all the way to the border of our territory. I exited the Midnight Pack territory by twenty-five minutes, my stomach clenching in pain, my heart racing and my calves burning. I was currently walking on the side of the road, vast expanses of trees surrounding me. The dark, gray paved road stretched out endlessly. I was breathless and exhausted; how long would it take to get to civilization?

It felt like days before I escaped the trees. The sun was bright in the clear blue sky, so different to my soiled mood. I felt so betrayed and hurt. My body was aching. I just wanted to escape all this, just sink into eternal oblivion. I wouldn't have even reacted if a Hunter had found me. I would've embraced death at this point.

Stop, my wolf whimpered. Do not think those things, please. It hurts. She was usually so ferocious and strong, the confident side of me. A piece of me broke at her weak tone of voice.

A rebellious tear slid down my cheek. I'm sorry.

You have to rest, she said gently, her maternal side showing through. Inner wolves were there in the first place to guide us. They were like a third parent. Most inner wolves faded away as wolves grew older and more mature, but mine didn't. I never wanted her to leave. She was my only friend.

Where? I asked, in desperate need of guidance. The houses that now lined the street I was in were big, not exactly mansions, but obviously belonged to wealthy people. I couldn't just walk up and knock on one of the doors, asking if I could stay there for a while. Nobody was that kind.

Go into the forest, she instructed. I wanted to object, but I padded back into the trees. Find some berries, my wolf added. Use your sense of smell.

I hesitantly lifted my head up, having little faith in my abilities. I took in a deep breath, through my nose and scents rushed into my nostrils, squirrels, rabbits, snakes, birds, flowers and oh, sweet God, berries. I instantly took off towards the direction of the smell.

The red, luscious berries gave me so much hope. I didn't know why. It made me feel accomplished because even though it wasn't much, I still found these by myself. And for now, that was something to be proud off.

I delicately plucked some of the berries and cradled them in my arms. They weren't really big, probably a third of my thumb and I had small hands in general. I picked up a berry with care and put it in my mouth, tasting it. It was bitter, but it was food and it was edible. I scarfed the whole thing down, my hunger overpowering my wolf's voice as she said something to me hurriedly.

When my arms were finally empty, I collapsed down onto the grass, letting its cool waxy surface caress my skin. The grass was so soft...Before I knew it, I was nodding off, escaping into dreamland where no one could hurt me and where all my deepest desires came true.

 ~

When I woke up, my body was buried in agonizing pain. I screamed out. It felt like my stomach was eating itself out, tearing itself apart from the inside. I wrapped my arms around my torso, curling into the fetal position. What was wrong with me?

The berries! They were poisonous! my wolf whimpered along. I groaned, my head falling back. Was what I had already gone through not enough? Why did the Spirits hate me so much as to take my parents away, give me hateful siblings and a mate who clearly did not love me. Now, finally that I have found something to eat, it poisons me!

"I wish the berries would just kill me," I moaned, tears freely dripping down my face and into my hairline. Had I not suffered enough? What had I done wrong? I bet the Spirits were laughing at my misfortunes.

The pain was too intense. It was such a relief when I passed out.

 ~

 The pain was gone completely by the time my eyes flickered open, only to be met with complete darkness. I let my eyes adjust to the dark before scanning through the trees for lurking danger. When I found none, I let myself relax in the grass that cushioned me like a blanket and closed my eyes. I only meant to rest my eyes, but I ended up drifting off into dreamland again...

A snap of a twig caused my eyes to snap open. I pressed myself back up against a tree, looking around wildly in alarm. The moon was hidden behind the tall canopy of the trees, not giving enough light for me to see. Even with my enhanced abilities as a Lycan, it would be impossible to see without light.

When I heard more shuffling, I cowered into myself fearfully. Had my pack – I mean, my former pack come to find me and bring me back because they had realized of how wrong they were? I tried not to let hope and excitement course through me. But then a darker thought entered my brain: Was Xavier, Holly or Parker looking for me to end me?

My wolf howled painfully at the thought, so I quickly shook it away.

A low growl brought me back to the present. I looked up quickly to see a pair of bright blue eyes looking at me. Wolf eyes. My eyes widened as I dropped to my knees. It was a regular wolf, though, which I was thankful for, but I knew he could kill me if we got into a battle. I wasn't skilled at all.

Working hurriedly, I shed all my clothing, tossing them aside and shifted into my black wolf. There was surprise in the wolf's eyes for a second before he bowed his head and stepped back. Regular wolves respected lycanthropes because of their enhanced intelligence, speed and size. I tried to stand taller, but I was still smaller than the wolf. It was a wonder he still respected me. I was so glad that lycanthropes had a different smell or I would've probably been dead by now.

As soon as the wolf disappeared behind into the shadows, I turned back into my human form, hurriedly throwing on my clothes. I had to leave fast just in case the wolf decided to come back and kill me. Despite the burning in my calves and stomach, I ran back in the direction of where I vaguely remembered the large houses were located.

I was breathing hard by the time I had arrived at the edge of the forest. There were streetlights which helped me see clearer, thank God. But I had never come in this direction before, which was a disadvantage. I had run out into the forest from the backyard, which led the opposite direction to where my – former – pack used to go to for errands and school or their jobs. I was in a completely new territory, alone and scared.

Still, I started my trek, passing each house, my heart aching with longing and need. I wished I was one of the residents in one of these beautiful, grand homes with a caring, doting family and no abuse. I hung my head, wrapping my arms around my torso in shame. I wasn't good enough, not for my pack, not for my siblings and especially not for my mate.

Oh Xavier, why did you have to leave me out here for myself? What am I supposed to do?

Tears welled up in my eyes and I let them fall, making a hardly visible trail in the sidewalk behind me. What was he doing now? Was he thinking of me? Was he regretting his decisions? Or was he celebrating the end of Cadrian Forrest and in Natalie's arms?

The thought alone sent me over the edge into hysterical sobs.

I think I walked for hours. I passed through dozens of neighborhoods, most of the windows showing empty, dark rooms with, no doubt, sleeping humans. I ached to be in a comfortable bed; my body was hurting so much. I just wanted to curl up into a ball. I wanted someone to come take me away from all this pain and hurt. Anything would've been better than this, this empty, cold feeling in my chest where my heart was shattered and shriveled like a dying rose. 

Eventually, I just ended up in a long highway, surrounded by trees on both sides. And I walked. And walked. And walked. For hours.

There were many cars passing, but not one passed to help me. Were humans always this selfish? Or were they just so tired, they couldn't wait to go to their destination? After all, it was late. I didn't have a watch, but it must have been around two o' clock in the morning. So, on foot, I continued the stupid endless journey to wherever. I just had to get far away from where it all happened.

 ~

The sun was walking up when I stumbled through the suburbs and into the city. The buildings were taller here and it was buzzing with noise. This place had hardly any woodland. I passed one park, but it was small and had few trees. It wasn't enough for my wolf and not enough for me. But I was so tired. I needed to rest. I felt like I was going to collapse any minute.

Still, I walked through the crowds. Men in business suits and women wearing fancy clothes moved out of my way when I passed. It was like I disgusted them and they thought they were better than me. If Holly was here, she'd have scoffed at me for letting a humanthink they were better than lycanthropes. But it wasn't like they were smart enough to know what we were.

The sun was climbing higher to the sky when I finally came across the gray, old looking building. I stopped outside and just stared at the sign in wonder. What would it be like to live here? It couldn't be worse than the pack house. I would have food and a place to sleep. It was...enough.

Homeless Shelter.

Is that what my life had come to now? A homeless shelter? Was I so unwanted and disgusted that I had to reduce this low?

The people that are here brought this down on themselves. They abuse their privileges ad use their money for drugs and alcohol. We are nothing like them, my wolf told me, wisely.

Silently agreeing, I nodded. She was right, I was pushed into this life. I didn't want it and I hadn't brought it down on myself.

Reassuring myself that this was my only hope, I pushed open the doors and tentatively walked up to the desk. The woman sitting there was tapping away at her computer. When I cleared my throat, she looked up, rolled her eyes and picked up a pen, poising it over a clipboard.

"And what's your name?" she asked, looking annoyed at me. I hugged myself, looking down, ashamed. I didn't need to read her mind to know what she thought of me.

"Cadrian...Cadrian Forrest," I whispered.

She clicked her tongue. "Speak louder."

"Cadrian Forrest," I raised my voice a little bit, still refusing to meet her eyes.

The woman hummed and I heard her jotting something down. Then she set aside the clipboard and pen. I could feel her penetrating gaze on me. "You only have three months to live here. That should give you enough time to get a job. Breakfast is at eight, lunch at twelve, and dinner at six. If you're late, no meal for you. Pillows and blankets are over there," she nodded towards the wall where a bunch of people were curled in on themselves, hugging pillows and covered by a blanket. "Try and get one before they all run out," the woman told me and then went back to tapping away on her computer.

I looked away, blinking back tears and looked around the room that I would have to consider my home for the next three months.

This is not going to be easy, my wolf whispered.

I know. But we'll make it. We will.

 ----

Disclaimer: I don't actually think homeless people ever brought anything down on themselves. Things happen, I know that. Keep in mind that I'm simply writing in Cadrian's point of view and she doesn't have a very good insight onto the world. She's naive and she has no idea how things really work.

That is all, I've been getting commenst with people being annoyed with that particular line and I just wanted you all to know that's not actually MY opinion.